“We actually fought one another over coming clean to you several times, Ellie. Harper and Elijah were…problematic but it was the Bradshaw brothers who threw us into panic.”
Staring at the ceiling, I grinned. “I imagine. You were definitely closer when they were around.”
Jonas laughed. “I was damn glad when those two were off the market for good. All the happiness in the world and all that…just not with you.”
Laughing, I nodded. “So, you buried your lives and became one man in the military.”
“After three years of serving all over Europe, the CIA tapped us for service.” Jordan snuggled closer to me. “Over the next six years, we met and assembled the team you have now. Disillusioned after a particularly dirty assignment, we went off-grid and formed our own network.”
“Mercenaries with a gentle streak,” I said.
Jonas kissed the tip of my ear and I shivered. “A few years later, we interviewed your parents at Salt Flats. At first, we weren’t going to tell them there were two of us. Your mother inspired our trust and they agreed to keep our secret. They waxed poetic about you but we all expected the worst.”
Jordan tweaked my nose. “We figured you’d be a spoiled brat. We weren’t prepared for the woman you are. We forgot you were our employer. You were Ellie. You quickly became our Ellie and life got a lot more complicated.”
My smile was self-mocking. “I almost died the first time I met you. I doubt I could have handled the visual input of you side by side from day one.”
They laughed. “It was easy to fall for you, Ellie. You were too young, still are honestly, but it didn’t matter. We were afraid to scare you, to lose your trust, so we waited…until the worst happened followed by months of guilt and regret.”
“There was no reason for guilt. I know what you went through that day as well.”
“We didn’t want you to hate us and wondered about starting over, with everything on the table, to see how it went.”
My fingertips absently traced their fingers, hands, and wrists. I cleared my throat and gathered my courage.
“I could ask a million questions but the primary issue is separating you in my mind. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t…there’s no way for me t-to choose between you. It’s why I put distance between us. Then there’s Katie and all of that. It makes it hard to think.”
The brothers propped themselves up to better see my face. Jonas frowned. “What do you mean about Katie?”
“All of what, Ellie?” Jordan added.
I didn’t want to say it. How could I? While I struggled with my thoughts, both men watched me intently.
“I had to keep her,” my voice was barely audible. “I couldn’t let it all be disgusting and painful. I never want her to know.”
Jordan stroked my cheek. “You took a horrific act of violence and turned it into a precious little girl who’ll never know a day in her life without unconditional love. To us, she’s your daughter. We adore her, Ellie.”
I nodded and glanced at Jonas. “Ellie, you thought I wouldn’t want you after that day.”
The lump in my throat threatened to choke me. “It’s one thing to know someone has gone through something like that. It’s different to witness it. That’s always been the worst part for me. That you have those images in your mind. I-I’m embarrassed.”
He pressed my hand to his chest, his eyes closed. He opened them and stared deeply into mine. “I’ve never felt such hatred, such rage, as I felt for those animals. I thought you stopped breathing. You were throwing up, bleeding, unable to focus or keep your eyes open.”
His breath hitched and he rested his forehead against mine. “Each time you approached consciousness, you fought. Gouging their eyes, ripping them open with your nails and teeth. Most of your injuries came from the force necessary to contain you. They had no humanity but you never quit.”
I slipped my hand between us to cup his face.
“They punished you because you wouldn’t break, Ellie. The last thing you said to them was, ‘Hyde will gut you. You’ll die screaming as your organs hit the floor. My name will be the last thing you hear.’ That’s exactly what I did. I tortured them, I gutted them, and I watched their faces. Before Jordan put the final bullet in their brains, I told them, ‘This is for Ellie. Rot in hell.’”
I couldn’t hold back my gasping sob.
“Never, not once since the beginning of that nightmare to this moment, have I considered you less, Ellie. You survived the worst that can be done to a woman and it only made me love you more.”
I cried hard and the brothers held me through it. Twins, bodyguards, men I loved.
The relief at lancing the infection of shame and degradation was immense. They never let me go as I sobbed out everything that hurt me, haunted me, for almost a year.
When I had nothing left, they wiped my face with a cool cloth and wrapped me between them.
“Sleep now, Ellie. It’s time for your fresh start.”
Gradually calming mentally and emotionally, I held them to me as they pressed close. I welcomed the chance to sleep, to rest after a purge held off for too long.
Even as I slipped away deeply, they continued to hold me.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Waking the next morning, I smiled.
Jordan and Jonas were with me, twined around me until I didn’t know where one of them began and the other ended.
They were sealed to me, protecting me even in sleep. Hardened fighting men, fourteen years older than me, twins who masqueraded as one man to the world at large.
I loved them.
There were no nightmares but that wasn’t why I knew I had to keep them.
My love grew even stronger after our night together in my bed. A bed that had never held one man, much less two.
I had to keep them and I wasn’t sure…how that worked.
Jordan’s face pressed against my upper back and my face was under Jonas’s chin on his chest.
Several times during the night they spoke of their love for me and I believed them with every cell of myself.
I wanted to believe them but it was more than that.
It was years of their protection. The tears and rage that professed I was not just another assignment. It was the vengeance they carried out on my behalf.
Their need to see my attackers in the ground. That they didn’t return to me until one threat to my safety was put to rest.
In my mind, I recognized them as two men. My heart considered them one and the same.
They shared one life for so long, was it so difficult to believe they could share one woman?
There was a whisper deep in my mind, “Are you enough?”
“I can practically hear your mind racing, Ellie.” Jonas’s deep voice rumbled beneath my cheek, roughened from sleep.
Jordan kissed the skin of my back above my tank top. “Your heart is pounding with your need to overthink things.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “You do know me pretty well.”
Their arms tightened on me, their bodies moved closer. I doubt they even realized they did it.
I closed my eyes, soaking up the tactile sensations of them surrounding me. I registered their warmth, the slight rasp of the hair on their legs against my smooth ones, the scent of sandalwood and man, their deep breathing.
With a sigh, I stretched and accidentally brushed against their erections. They sucked air sharply through their teeth and immediately edged their hips away from me.
I knew nothing of men, and they knew that about me. At least, nothing healthy or normal. I never got that chance.
My innocence was lost on the dirty floor of a shack and there was nothing I could do about it now.
“You don’t have to shield me like that. I-I never dated because of the money. Insulating myself became a habit. It didn’t mean I wasn’t lonely, that I didn’t wish things were different.”
I cleared my throat. “In the first few months at school, the seven seemed to b
e everywhere I went, always asking me out. I was polite but indifferent. I didn’t want my parents to order me back to the estate so I didn’t talk to anyone about them.”
Swallowing carefully, I went on. “Then I realized you were watching me. Again, under strict instruction, I was supposed to report it but I didn’t. You could have been gathering information for a kidnapping but I didn’t think so. I started expecting you to be there. Hoping, really.”
I thought back on the first few weeks when Hyde became part of my life. “I found you attractive from the beginning. As the days passed, it was easy t-to fall in love with you. I felt silly, childish, and completely out of my depth. I still struggle.”
“We’re in love with you, Ellie.”
“We have been for years.”
I absorbed the statement that left me no doubt about their feelings and shook my foundation. “I can’t choose. Obviously, I know you’re two men. Emotionally, I can’t differentiate between you.”
“Ellie…” Jordan lifted his head, listening. “Robyn is coming downstairs. Katie must be awake.”
With a nod, Jonas said, “We’ll talk more later, Ellie.” He leaned down and kissed me lightly then rose from the bed. Jordan turned my face and kissed me, too.
Then I was on my feet, standing between them. The top of my head came below their chins. They smoothed my hair and clothes, nudging me toward the bathroom.
I had to know one thing at least. “Answer one question and I’ll wait to talk. Do you expect me to choose between you?”
As one, they replied, “No, Ellie. We don’t.”
Drinking in the sight of their tall muscular frames, I slowly closed the bathroom door and stood there in stunned disbelief.
I could keep them both? What did it mean? Would they alternate days they spent with me?
Would I be with them together?
Inhaling deeply, I thought about being wrapped between them while I slept. I replayed the image without clothing and felt a blush burn up my chest and face.
Was that nervousness or anticipation? I felt warm all over and my nipples puckered tight.
I wasn’t an idiot. That was anticipation…and curiosity.
* * *
The next three days passed much the same. I dealt with charity work in the morning, swam with Katie in the afternoon, and had dinner with my team in the evening.
Padme and Tom were sequestered in her command center and I rarely saw them. Si reported they were untangling the tech trail of my suspected stalker.
“Are they eating?”
My badass chef smiled. “I check on them regularly.”
“Thank you, Si. Keep me posted and let me know if they need anything. They’ll be vitamin D deficient by the time they come out of there.”
Every night was spent talking to Jonas and Jordan as they held me between them.
I avoided too much discussion of the future because I felt the timing was shit with the eighth man still out there somewhere.
There were questions but they could wait for now. I contented myself with a million questions about their pasts.
They were gentle with me as they’d always been. They refused to push me, refused to let me take things further than kissing and touching them.
“All of this is new to you, Ellie. You deserve to take it all in, adapt at your own pace. We’re happy to wait, to hold you, to give you time to acclimate.”
They made no moves to touch me intimately and held firm to their statement that I remain in absolute control.
I knew there was concern about the psychological and sexual trauma I experienced and loved them for it.
Still, there was nothing about them, separately or together, which inspired the terror or disgust I felt during flashes of memory of my attack.
The only fear I truly had was not being enough.
Not one to entertain a false sense of modesty, I knew I was reasonably pretty and had a lot to offer. However, I also knew without being told that the Hydes had experienced the best and most exotic of women in their lives.
Where they might have to deal with my occasional post-traumatic stress, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was competing with every woman in their pasts.
It gave me an unfamiliar and unwelcome lack of confidence.
Alone in my bathroom, I pulled on my sport suit and a sundress. I loosely secured my hair in a messy bun.
While the bathing suits I chose for myself weren’t overly revealing, my scars were visible and they embarrassed me. I might need to consider one-piece options going forward.
Sighing, I left my room and the Hydes led me downstairs after gentle kisses. I walked to Katie’s playroom and my daughter smiled at me over Robyn’s shoulder.
The nanny was settling in well. She was clever and tended to laugh more than the rest of us. It was a wonderful quality around my daughter.
Having seen her spar with Si and Padme, I was also certain of her skills. She could keep Katie safe.
I gathered my daughter’s warm little body against me and inhaled deeply of her powder-fresh pink skin. Her eyes sparkled with happiness and I snuggled her gratefully.
Robyn gave me a soft smile and busied herself straightening up the space dedicated to the older child Katie would quickly become. I couldn’t wait.
Walking with her to the kitchen, I chatted with her. “Good morning, sweetheart. What shenanigans can we get up to today? Should we try out the new water floatie?”
Jordan and Jonas stroked their huge hands over her tiny head. She graced them with smiles and giggles.
“Careful, Katie…save the big guns for important battles.” She thought it was the funniest thing ever. “Your eyes are like Grandma’s. My sweet darling.”
I tried to prep her bottle with one hand and Jordan took Katie with a smile.
“Let’s give your mommy the use of both hands, what do you think?” She squealed happily and held a fistful of his hair.
I made her bottle and Jonas took the opportunity to make me a shake with the prepped ingredients Si always left for me.
Robyn entered and grinned at the scene. “So much hustle and bustle.” She stroked a finger over Katie’s ear as she passed.
“Can we make you a shake, Robyn?”
“No, thank you. We’ve been up a while. Katie loves the sunlight in her castle tower. She’s a real dawn to dusk girl. Her eyes open and she’s already smiling.”
“Like her mother,” Jonas said with a smile.
I snorted. “Not anymore. I’ve gotten lazy.” Walking around the counter, I waved the bottle at Katie and she giggled.
“May I, Ellie?” Jordan held out his hand and I placed the warmed formula in it. “I’ve always wanted to try this.”
Jonas put one hand on my shoulder and held my shake in his other. “A good time for you to have something as well.”
We sat around the table and chatted about the day. Bianca entered the room and cleared her throat delicately.
I glanced up, immediately taking in the look of alertness on her face. “Ellie, you can’t leave the house. Not even the patio.”
Jordan carefully handed Robyn my daughter and the Hydes straightened at my sides.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Tom is tracing an email Padme received through your corporate address. It’s been bounced all over the place.”
I looked at Robyn. “Please take her out of earshot. I know it’s crazy but I don’t want her infected with ugliness. One of the team will brief you once I know what’s happening.”
The nanny nodded and stood immediately.
I ruffled Katie’s pretty curls. “I’m sorry, honey. Robyn?” She paused. “Stay with Si for a while, alright?”
“Of course, Ellie. We’ll help make bread.”
The moment Robyn disappeared into the kitchen, Bianca led the way to Padme’s security room. It was unlit but the glow from the multiple screens gave it an eerie glow.
“Good morning, Padme. Tom. You guys look exhausted.”
<
br /> “I’m sorry, Ellie. I fucking hate bringing this bullshit to your attention.” Tom murmured at her side and she nodded with a sigh. “I don’t have a choice.”
I put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “Let’s get it over with.”
She nodded, resigned. “This garbage was delivered to one of your corporate emails. A bouncing program has it rerouted all over the damn world but I have no doubt Tom will crack the last few locations soon. He’s up to forty-nine so far.”
Taking a deep breath, I said, “This guy’s serious about hiding.”
Tom mumbled, “Too fucking bad. We’ll get him anyway. Piece of shit little pervy bitch.” He looked up startled. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, I smiled. “You’re hysterical and so serious, Tom. Never censor yourself.”
Padme turned to face us. “While we trace, we all need to be on the same page. I’m sorry, Ellie. I-I wish you didn’t have to see it but I know you do.”
Bianca stood stiffly with her arms crossed. Fiaaz joined us and Padme played the video attached to the email.
It was less than two minutes in length. The voice was disguised and the man never showed his face.
The image zoomed in on me as I rode across the flats on horseback. Occasionally, the camera angled down and showed the man masturbating.
There was a ladder in the shot and the man’s penis was covered with a condom. He gave sickening commentary throughout.
“You’re beautiful, Ellie. I want you. See what you do to me? What happens when I see you? When I touch you? I jack off several times a day and every time I think about your pretty tits, your tight ass.”
The camera moved back to me and there was the sound of moaning while he watched me. “I want to touch you again. I know what happened to you. I wouldn’t do that. With us it’ll be making love. Oh yes, yes! Just thinking of your pussy around me…oh fuck, I’m coming. Feels so good.”
The video ended with the man ejaculating and climbing off the ladder as Jonas went still in the distance. “Always interfering! I hate them. You’re mine! All mine, sweet Ellie.”
There was the sound of a car door opening but he kept the camera pressed to his side. The engine started and he placed the recorder on the seat, lens down, as he sped away.
Obsession: The Hollow Universe Page 22