Clearly, he didn’t either. “Something meaningful? Alex, you’ve been out in the normal world too long. You know how it is for us. We don’t get ‘meaningful.’”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
“We’re either Guards or Sentinels—not husbands, wives, or parents.” He stopped, frowning. “Flings and girlfriends.
That’s what we have. Our duty doesn’t al ow for much else.”
He was right. Being born a half-blood wiped out any chance for a normal, healthy relationship. Like Caleb said, our duty didn’t al ow for us to form attachments—anything we’d regret giving up or leaving behind. Once we graduated, we could be assigned anywhere and at any given moment we could be yanked and sent somewhere else.
It was a harsh, lonely life, but one with purpose.
I kicked at a smal pebble, sending it flying into the thick underbrush. “Just because we won’t have the picket fence, doesn’t mean… ” The skin of my forehead creased as a sudden chil brushed over me. It came out of nowhere, and by the sudden confused look on Caleb’s face, I knew he felt it, too.
“A boy and a girl, one with a bright and short future, and the other covered in shadows and doubt.”
The raspy, ancient-sounding voice brought both of us to a standstil . Caleb and I turned around. The stone bench had been unoccupied a moment ago, but there she was. And she was old, like should’ve-been-dead-by-now old.
A massive pile of pure white hair sat pinned atop her head, and her skin was dark as coal and heavily lined. Her crooked posture aged her even more, but her eyes were sharp. Intel igent.
I’d never seen her before, but I instinctively knew who she was. “Grandma Piperi?”
She tipped her head back and laughed wildly. I half expected the weight of her hair to topple her over, but she remained upright. “Oh, Alexandria, you seem so surprised.
Did you not think I was real?”
Caleb jabbed me with his elbow a few times, but I couldn’t stop staring. “You know who I am?”
Her dark eyes flickered to Caleb. “Of course I do.” She smoothed her hands over what appeared to be a housecoat. “I also remember your momma.”
Disbelief brought me a step closer to the oracle, but shock left me speechless.
“I remember your momma,” she went on, nodding her head back and forth. “She came to me three years ago, she did. I spoke the truth to her, you see. The truth was only for her to hear.” She paused, her gaze fal ing back to Caleb. “What are you doing here, child?”
Eyes wide, he shifted uncomfortably. “We were…
walking back to our dorms.”
Grandma Piperi smiled, stretching the papery skin around her mouth. “Do you wish to hear the truth—your truth? What the gods have in store for you?”
Caleb paled. The thing with truths, they usual y messed with your head. It didn’t matter if it was crazy talk or not.
“Grandma Piperi, what did you tel my mom?” I asked.
“If I told you, what would it change? Fate is fate, you see.
Just like love is love.” She cackled as if she’d said something funny. “What’s written by the gods wil come to pass. Most has already. Such a sad affair when children turned against their makers.”
I had no clue what she was talking about and I felt pretty sure she was certifiable, but I needed to know what Piperi had said—if she said anything at al . Maybe Caleb was right, and I needed closure. “Please. I need to know what you said to her. What made her leave?”
She tilted her head to the side. “Don’t you want to know about your truth, child? That is what’s important now. Don’t you want to know about love? About what is forbidden and what is fated?”
My arms fel to my sides and I blinked back sudden tears.
“I don’t want to know about love.”
“But you should, my child. You need to know about love.
The things people wil do for love. Al truths come down to love, do they not? One way or another, they do. See, there is a difference between love and need. Sometimes, what you feel is immediate and without rhyme or reason.” She sat up a little straighter. “Two people see each across a room or their skin brushes. Their souls recognize the person as their own. It doesn’t need time to figure it. The soul always knows… whether it’s right or wrong.”
Caleb grabbed my arm. “Come on. Let’s go. She’s not tel ing you anything you want to hear.”
“The first… the first is always the most powerful.” She closed her eyes, sighing. “Then there is need and fate. That is a different type. Need covers itself with love, but need…
need is never love. Always beware of the one who needs you. There is always a want behind a need, you see.”
Caleb let go of my arm and jabbed fiercely at the walkway behind us.
“Sometimes you wil mistake need for love. Be careful.
The road with need is never a fair one, never a good one.
Much like the road you must walk down. Beware of the one who needs.”
The lady was a loon, and even though I knew this, her words stil sent shivers down my spine. “Why won’t the road be easy for me?” I asked, ignoring Caleb.
She stood. Wel , as much as she could stand. Since her back hunched forward it stopped her from standing up completely. “Roads are always bumpy, never flat. This one here,” she nodded at Caleb with a tiny cackle, “this one has a road ful of light.”
Caleb stopped pointing behind us. “That’s good to know.”
“A short road ful of light,” added Grandma Piperi.
His face fel . “That’s… good to know.”
“What about the road?” I asked again, hoping for an answer that made sense.
“Ah, roads are always shady. Your road is ful of shadows, ful of deeds which must be done. It comes to those of your kind.”
Caleb shot me a meaningful look, but I shook my head. I had no idea what she was talking about, but I was stil unwil ing to leave. She hobbled past me and I stepped out of the way. My back brushed against something soft and warm, drawing my attention. I turned, finding large purple flowers with bright yel ow middles. I shifted closer, inhaling their bittersweet, almost acrid smel .
“Be careful there, child. You be touching nightshade.”
She stopped, turning back to where we stood. “Very dangerous… much like kisses from those who walk among the gods. Intoxicating, sweet, and deadly… you need to know how to handle it right. Just a little and you’l be fine.
Too much… it takes away what makes you who you are.”
She smiled softly, as if she were remembering something.
“The gods move around us, always close by. They are watching and they are waiting to see which one is revealed to be the strongest. They are here now. You see, the end is upon them, upon al of us. Even the gods have little faith.”
Caleb passed me another wide-eyed stare. I shrugged, deciding to give it one more chance. “So there’s nothing you’l tel me about my mom?”
“Nothing you haven’t already been told.”
“Wait… ?” My skin felt hot and cold al at once. “What…
Lea said is true? That I was the reason why Mom died?”
“Let’s go, Alex. You’re right.” Caleb took a step back.
“She’s freaking crazy.”
Piperi sighed. “Always ears around these parts, but ears don’t always hear correctly.”
“Alex, let’s go.”
I blinked and—I’m not exaggerating—in the time it took me to open my eyes, Grandma Piperi stood in front of me.
The old lady moved that fast. Her clawed hand grabbed my shoulder hard enough to make me wince.
She stared up at me with eyes as sharp as blades, and when she spoke, her voice lost its raspy edge. And she didn’t sound al that crazy. Oh no, her words were clear and to the point.
“You wil kil the ones you love. It is in your blood, in your fate. So the gods have spoken it and so the gods have come to foresee it.”
&nbs
p; CHAPTER 9
“ALEX! WATCH HIS HANDS. YOU’RE LETTING TOO
MANY blocks get through!”
I nodded at Aiden’s harsh words and squared off with Kain again. Aiden was right. Kain was tearing me apart. My movements were too slow, jerky and distracted—mainly due to staying up half the night, replaying the bizarro conversation with Grandma Piperi.
This was a real y bad time to be preoccupied. Today was the first practice that included Kain, and I was fighting like a baby. Kain wasn’t going easy on me either. Not that I would’ve wanted that, but I also didn’t want to look like a total turd in front of another Sentinel.
Another one of his brutal kicks got through my block and I dodged with only a split second to spare. Dodging was not the point of this exercise. If it were, I’d be excel ing at it.
Aiden stalked over to me then, repositioning my arms in a way that would’ve successful y knocked Kain’s leg down.
“Watch him. Even the slightest muscle tremor wil give away his attack. You have to pay attention, Alex.”
“I know.” I took a step back and ran my arm over my forehead. “I know. I can do this.”
Kain shook his head and walked off to grab his bottle of water while Aiden led me to the other side of the room, his hand wrapped around my upper arm. He bent so we were eye level. “What is your deal today? I know you can do better than this.”
I bent to pick up my water, but the bottle was empty.
Aiden handed me his. “I’m just… out of it today.” I took a drink and handed it back to him.
“I can tel .”
I bit my lip, flushing. I was better than this, and gods, I wanted to prove to Aiden I was. If I couldn’t get past this then I couldn’t move onto anything else—to al those damn cool things I wanted to learn.
“Alex, you’ve been distracted al day.” His eyes met mine and held them. “This better have nothing to do with the party Jackson held on the beach last night.”
Good grief, was there nothing this man didn’t know? I shook my head. “No.”
Aiden gave me a knowing look and took a drink from the bottle before he shoved it back into my hands. “Drink up.”
I sighed, turning away from him. “Let’s go again, okay?”
Aiden motioned Kain back and then clapped me on the shoulder. “You can do this, Alex.”
After col ecting myself and taking another gulp of water, I dropped the bottle on the floor. I went back to the center of the mats and nodded at Kain.
Kain watched me wearily. “You ready?”
“Yeah.” I clenched my teeth. Kain raised his eyebrows, like he doubted I was going to do anything different this time around.
“Al right.” He shook his head and we squared off again.
“Remember to anticipate my moves.”
I blocked his first kick, then his punch. We circled each other for a few rounds while I wondered what the hel Grandma Piperi meant by saying I would kil the ones I loved. That didn’t make any sense, because the one person I’d loved was already dead and I sure as hel hadn’t kil ed her. You can’t kil someone who’s already dead, and it wasn’t like I loved—
Kain’s boot slammed past my defenses and connected with my stomach. Pain exploded through me, so intense and overwhelming I dropped to my knees. The way I landed put a strain on my battered back. Wincing, I reached around and held my back with one hand and my stomach with another.
I was a total mess.
Kain dropped down in front of me. “Dammit, Alex! What were you doing? You should have never been that close to me!”
“Yeah,” I groaned. Breathe through it. Just breathe through it. Easier said than done, but I kept tel ing myself that. I expected Aiden to launch into a major tirade, but he didn’t say a word to me. Instead he walked up and jerked Kain up by the scruff of his neck, nearly holding him off the ground.
“Practice is over.”
Kain’s mouth dropped open and his normal y tanned skin paled. “But—”
“Apparently you don’t understand.” His voice sounded low and dangerous.
I stumbled to my feet. “Aiden, it’s my fault. I leaned in.” I didn’t have to elaborate; it was obvious what I’d done wrong.
Aiden looked over his shoulder at me. A few terse seconds later, he released Kain. “Go.”
Kain straightened his shirt while he backed up. When he turned to me, his sea-green eyes were wide. “Alex, I’m sorry.”
I waved one hand at him. “No biggie.”
Aiden stepped in front of me, dismissing Kain without so much of another word. “Let me take a look at it.”
“Oh… it’s okay.” I turned away from him. My eyes burned, but not because of the throbbing pain. I wanted to sit down and cry. I’d walked right into the kick. A child wouldn’t have made such a mistake. It was that lame.
He placed a surprisingly gentle hand on my shoulder and turned me back around. The look on his face said he understood my embarrassment. “It’s okay, Alex.” When I didn’t move, he took a step back. “You grabbed your back. I need to make sure you’re okay.”
Seeing no way out of this, I fol owed Aiden to one of the smal er rooms where they kept medical supplies. It was a cold, sterile room like any doctor’s office with the exception of the painting of Aphrodite in al her naked glory, which I found odd and a little disturbing.
“Get up on the table.”
I wanted nothing more than to run back to my room and sulk in privacy, but I did what he said.
Aiden came back to me, his gaze fixed above my head.
“How does your stomach feel?”
“Okay.”
“Why did you grab your back?”
“It’s sore.” I rubbed my hands over my thighs. “I feel like a dork.”
“You’re not a dork.”
“I am. I should’ve been paying attention. I walked right into the kick. It wasn’t Kain’s fault.”
He seemed to consider that. “I’ve never seen you so distracted.”
For the last month, we’d had eight-hour training days, and I guess during that time he’d seen a lot of things from me. But I’d never been this unfocused.
“You can’t afford to be so distracted,” he continued gently. “You’re coming along remarkably wel , but you don’t have time to lose. It’s almost July and that leaves us about two months to get you caught up. Your uncle has been requesting weekly reports. Don’t think he’s forgotten about you.”
Ful of shame and disappointment, my eyes dropped down to my hands. “I know.”
Aiden placed his fingers on my chin, guiding my head up.
“Why are you so distracted, Alex? You move like you haven’t slept and you’re acting as if your mind’s a mil ion miles from here. If it’s not the party last night, is it a guy who has you distracted?”
I cringed. “Look. There are several things I’m not discussing with you. Guys are one of them.”
Aiden’s eyes widened. “Real y? If it’s interfering with your training, then it’s interfering with me.”
”Jeez.” I shifted uncomfortably under his intense stare.
“There is no guy. I have no guy.”
He fel silent, watching me curiously. Those eyes had a calming effect, and even though I knew this was dumb, so stupid, I took a deep breath. “I saw Grandma Piperi last night.”
It seemed that Aiden expected me to say anything but that. While his face was impassive as ever, his eyes seemed to deepen. “And?”
“And Lea was right—”
“Alex,” he cut me off. “Don’t go there. You’re not
“Alex,” he cut me off. “Don’t go there. You’re not responsible.”
“She was right and wrong at the same time.” I stopped, sighing at the dubious look on Aiden’s face. “Grandma Piperi wouldn’t tel me everything. Actual y, she told me a bunch of crazy stuff about love and need… and gods kissing. Anyway, she told me that I would kil the one I loved, but how is that possible? Mom is already dead.”
An odd look flickered over his face, but it was gone before I could figure out what it was. “I thought you said you didn’t believe in that kind of stuff.”
Of course, he would remember that out of the bil ion random comments I’d made. “I don’t, but it’s not every day you’re told that you’re going to kil someone you love.”
“So this is what’s been bothering you today?”
I squeezed my thighs. “Yes. No. I mean, do you think it was my fault?”
“Oh, Alex.” He shook his head. “Do you remember when you asked me why I volunteered to train you?”
“Yeah.”
He pushed away from the table I sat on. “Wel , I lied to you.”
“Yeah.” I bit my lip and looked away. “I kinda figured that out already.”
“You have?” He sounded surprised.
“You stood up for me because of what happened to your parents.” I stole a peek at him. He was quiet as he watched me. “I think I remind you of yourself when it happened.”
Aiden stared at me for an eternal second. “You’re far more observant than I give you credit for.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t share the fact I’d only figured that out recently.
That lopsided grin appeared. “You’re right, if that makes you feel any better. I remember what it was like afterward.
You always wonder if there was anything you could’ve done differently, as pointless as it is, but you get hung up on the
‘what if’ of it al .” The smile disappeared slowly and he turned his face away. “For the longest time, I used to think if I had decided to be a Sentinel earlier, I could’ve stopped the daimon.”
“But you didn’t know a daimon was going to attack. You were—are—a pure-blood. So very few of you even…
choose this life. And you were just a kid. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
Aiden faced me then, gaze curious. “Then how can you hold yourself responsible for what happened to your mom?
You may have realized there was a possibility that a daimon would find you, but you didn’t know.”
“Yeah.” I hated it when he was right.
“You’re stil holding onto that guilt. So much so that you’re reading into what the oracle said. You can’t let what she said get to you, Alex. An oracle only talks in possibilities, not facts.”
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