“Daniel, it’s not time.”
“I don’t care. You’re getting more than I am. You’re practical y glowing. Look at me!” Daniel scowled. “I don’t look like you.”
Eric wasn’t glowing, but his skin had taken on a healthy infusion. He looked… like a normal pure-blood. Daniel, on the other hand, was stil sheet-white.
Eric shook his head. “She’l kil you.”
Daniel dropped down in front of me and shoved a hand through my hair, wrenching my head back. “Not if she doesn’t know. How would she? I just want one more.”
“Don’t… let him.” My weak voice held a pleading edge, but if Eric was concerned with Daniel’s fate, he sure didn’t show it or try to stop him.
There was a spare spot on my neck stil bite-free. I silently begged that he wouldn’t go for that. I don’t know why I cared at this point, but dammit, I stil had some smidge of vanity left.
“She probably likes it,” Daniel said. A stuttered heartbeat later, he sank his teeth into that one little spot and his lips moved against my skin. The pain shot through me, causing me to go rigid. His one hand tightened in my hair and his other got friendly, slipping over my shoulder and down further.
Out of everything that was happening, this— this was too much. With every ounce of strength I had in me, I lifted my hands and dug my nails into the sides of his face.
Daniel reared back, howling. My shirt ripped in the process, but the sound—the look on his face fil ed me with a sick sense of satisfaction. Deep and angry-looking welts formed on his face, beading with fresh blood. Blindly, he lashed out and caught me in the eye, toppling me into Eric.
“Hel !” Eric leapt to his feet and I ate the floor.
I curled onto my side and into a fetal position. Above me, I felt Eric push Daniel back, yel ing in his face, but I wasn’t listening. Something long and thin dug into my thigh. I slowly rol ed over, inching my fingers down until they closed over the object hidden in the seam of my pants.
The knife—the retractable one.
Suddenly, Eric lifted me up and straightened me so that I looked at him. Something wet and warm ran down the side of my face, dripping into my right eye. Blood. Not like I had much more I could afford to lose.
Over his shoulder, I saw that Caleb was awake. He stared at me, and I tried to send him a message, but as it was, Eric was doing a good job of blocking him. From the front of the house, we heard the door open, and the click of my mother’s heels resonated through the cabin. Eric let go of me and backed clear across the room. My lips curved into a sad little smirk. He knew. I knew.
Mom was going to be pissed when she got a look at my face.
She stepped into the room, and her eyes narrowed on me. In a second, she was kneeling in front of me, tipping my head back. “What has happened here?”
Blood loss and exhaustion addled my thoughts. Moments went by as I stared at her. I couldn’t remember where I was or how I got there. Al I wanted to do was press my face against her, for her to hold me and to tel me everything would be okay. She was my mother, and she would stop them. She had to, especial y something this vile, this horrendous. “Mom? Look… look at what they’ve done to me.”
“Shh.” She smoothed my hair back from my face.
“Please… please make him stop.” I gripped her in a weak hug, wanting to climb into her arms, wanting her to hold me. She didn’t. As she turned away from me, I cried out and reached for her.
No. This—this thing in front of me wasn’t my mother. My mother would never have turned her back on me. She would’ve held me, comforted me. I snapped out of it, blinking slowly.
“Who did this to her face?” Her voice was so cold, so deadly and so unlike Mom, but at the same time I heard the edge in her words. Recognizing her tone from the many times she’d yel ed at me for getting in trouble—it was the tone that happened right before she launched into a major bitch-fest. Eric and Daniel didn’t know. They didn’t know my mother like I did.
“Who do you think?” Eric sneered.
She pressed cool lips against my forehead, and I squeezed my eyes shut. She wasn’t my Mom. “I gave you both explicit orders.” She straightened, her eyes fal ing to Daniel.
Reality settled around me once more, and I came to my knees. I couldn’t think about her anymore, couldn’t see her as my mom. I made my decision. Screw fate. My eyes met Caleb’s, and I nodded at Mom’s back and mouthed the words, “Get ready.” I could only hope he understood.
“That is simply unacceptable.” That was the only warning she gave. She launched herself at Daniel, knocking him over Caleb. The two daimons crashed to the floor, swinging and tearing at one another.
I seized the opportunity. Scrambling to my feet, I grabbed for Caleb.
Thankful y, he got the message. He slid off the bed as Eric went after Daniel, too. I staggered to my feet just as Mom pul ed Daniel to his feet. He was a good foot tal er than her, but she threw him around the room like he was nothing. There was a moment when I couldn’t move. Her strength was shocking, unnatural.
Dizzy and nauseous, I stumbled away from the room with Caleb in tow. We raced through the cabin and out the front door. Rain pounded on the roof of the deck, almost but not quite silencing the wet, sloppy crunch from inside the house. The sound propel ed both of us over the railing.
Forgetting how high the decks were, I hit the ground hard, fal ing to my knees.
“Lexie!”
My mother’s voice pushed me to my feet. Glancing beside me, I saw Caleb do the same. We ran, half sliding and half fal ing down the muddy hil . Branches slapped me in the face, pul ed on my clothing and hair, but I kept running. Al that gym time paid off. My muscles pushed past the pain and the lack of blood.
“Alexandria!”
We weren’t fast enough. Caleb’s startled yelp spun me around. My mom plucked him up from behind, tossing him sideways. Shock flickered over his face right before he slammed into a thick maple tree. I screamed, backtracking to where he’d fal en.
A barrier of flames went up, pushing me back. The fire destroyed everything in its path as it spread. Caleb rol ed to his side, barely escaping it. I stumbled backward as the world burned in red and violet colored flames. The rain did nothing to beat down the unnatural fire.
And there she stood—tal and straight, like a terrible goddess of death. Twice now, I’d failed to see that. In the al ey in Bald Head and moments earlier in the cabin, right after I’d realized I had a Covenant dagger in my pocket.
“Lexie, you promised me you wouldn’t run.” She sounded surprisingly calm.
Did I? My hand slipped into the side pocket. “I lied.”
“I took care of Daniel. You won’t have to worry about him.” She edged closer. “Everything is going to be okay now. Lexie, you should sit down. You’re bleeding al over the place.”
I glanced down at myself. Running had gotten my blood pulsing. I could feel it trickling down my arms and neck. I was kind of surprised I had any left in me. Out of the corner of my eye, a shot of dark blue darted between the flames.
“Just do it, Rachel e. She’s weak.” Fury and impatience colored Eric’s words. “Take care of it and let’s get the hel out of here!”
That was so true. Light-headed and off-balance, a bunny rabbit could get the best of me right now. “Don’t come any closer.”
My mother laughed. “Lexie, this wil be over soon. I know you’re scared, but you have nothing to worry about. I’m going to take care of everything. Don’t you trust me? I’m your mother.”
I backed up, stopping when I felt the heat from the flames.
“You’re not my mother.”
She moved forward. Somewhere in the distance, I thought I heard my name being cal ed. His voice— Aiden’s.
It had to be a hal ucination, because neither Eric nor my mom reacted to the sound, but even if it was just a sad manifestation of my subconscious, it gave me strength to keep standing. My fingers slid over the slender dagger.
How ha
d they missed this? “You’re not my mother,” I said again, my voice sounding hoarse.
“Baby, you’re confused. I’m your mother.”
My thumb brushed over the release button. “You died in Miami.”
Her eyes held a dangerous glint. “Alexandria… there is no other option.”
Wait, a voice whispered in my head, wait until her defenses are down. If she saw the blade, it would be over. I needed her to believe she’d won. I needed her vulnerable.
Though, the strange thing was, I was almost a hundred percent certain the voice didn’t belong to me. But that real y didn’t matter right now.
“There’s another option. You could just kil me.”
“No. You wil join me.” Her voice sounded like it had in the room, right before she’d kil ed Daniel for touching me. How messed up was that? “And since you broke your promise, I wil have to kil your little boyfriend over there. That is, if he hasn’t been burned alive yet.”
Everything came down to this moment. Die or kil her. Be turned into a monster or kil her. The breath I drew in wasn’t enough. “You’re already dead,” I whispered, “and I’d rather be dead than become what you are.”
“You wil thank me later.” Moving inhumanly fast, she wrapped her hand through my hair and jerked my head back.
The handle of the dagger felt awkward, wrong even.
Sucking in air, I pushed the little button. There wasn’t a lot of space between us, but I stil got my arm in between us. It wouldn’t be a precise hit, not at this angle, but it would kil .
You will kill the ones you love.
Fate had been right about that.
My mother jerked back, her mouth gaping open in surprise. She looked down. So did I. My hand was flush with her chest, and the blade had sunk through her skin like titanium did when it met the flesh of a daimon.
She stumbled backward as I withdrew the dagger. Her face contorted and blurred. Bright, beautiful eyes met mine, and then they disappeared. Like a switch had been thrown, the fire circling us ceased to exist.
Her scream fil ed the forest, and my screams overcame hers. She slumped just as my legs refused to cooperate.
We both folded into ourselves at the same time, except I col apsed into a messy heap and she buckled into herself.
There was a moment—it was quick—but I saw the glimmer of relief cross her face. In that instant, she was Mom. She real y was. And then she started to flake apart, fading until there was nothing left but a fine layer of blue dust.
I sagged forward, resting my head against the damp ground, vaguely aware of Eric running and the rain hammering me. Months of grief and loss swirled inside me, invading every cel , every pore. Nothing existed but the raw pain of a different kind of hurting. The tags and the bruises faded in comparison to it. Anguish consumed me. I wanted to die—to just cave in like Mom had. I’d kil ed her—my mother. Daimon or not, I’d kil ed her.
Time stopped. It could’ve been minutes or hours, but eventual y there were voices. People cal ed my name, cal ed Caleb’s, but I couldn’t answer. Everything sounded far away and unreal.
Then strong hands surrounded me, lifting me up. My head fel back and cool rain splattered off my cheeks. “Alex, look at me. Please.”
Recognizing the voice, I opened my eyes. Aiden stared down at me, face pale and drawn. He looked stricken as his gaze roamed over the many bite marks. “Hey,” I murmured.
“It’s going to be okay.” His voice held a panicked, desperate edge. He ran wet fingers over my cheeks, catching my chin. “I need you to keep your eyes open and talk to me. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I felt funny, so I doubted that. There were so many voices, some I recognized and some I didn’t. Somewhere I heard Seth. “Where’s… Caleb?”
“He’s okay. We have him—Alex, stay with me. Talk to me.”
“You were… right.” I swal owed, needing to tel someone
—to tel him. “She was relieved. I saw it… ”
“Alex?” Aiden stood, cradling me to his chest. I felt his
“Alex?” Aiden stood, cradling me to his chest. I felt his heart thundering under my cheek and then I felt nothing at al .
CHAPTER 20
I WOKE UP STARING AT THE SOFT GLOW OF
fluorescent ceiling lights. I wasn’t sure what’d woken me or where I was.
“Alex.”
I turned my head and met his pale gray eyes. Aiden sat on the edge of the bed. Dark waves of hair fel over his forehead. He looked different to me. Shadows bloomed under his eyes.
“Hey,” I croaked.
Aiden smiled that wonderful ful smile that was so rare, so beautiful. He reached over and with just the tips of his fingers, he brushed a few strands of hair off my forehead.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay. I’m… thirsty.” I tried clearing my throat again.
He leaned over, the bed dipping slightly as he grabbed a glass off the bedside table. Helping me sit up, he waited while I gulped the cool water. “More?”
I shook my head. Sitting up, I got a better view of the unfamiliar room. I was hooked up to half a dozen tubes, but I wasn’t in the Covenant. “Where are we?”
“We’re at the Nashvil e Covenant. We couldn’t risk the time it would’ve taken us to get you back to North Carolina.”
He paused, seeming to choose his next words. “Alex, why did you do this?”
I leaned back and closed my eyes. “I’m in a lot of trouble, aren’t I?”
“You stole a Sentinel uniform. You also stole weapons and left the grounds without permission. Untrained and unprepared, you left to hunt down your mother. What you did was so reckless, so dangerous. You could’ve been kil ed, Alex. So yes, you’re in trouble.”
“I kinda of figured that.” I sighed, opening my eyes.
“Marcus is going to expel me now, isn’t he?”
Sympathy shone on his face. “I don’t know. Marcus is very upset. He would’ve come here, but he’s been with the Council. Everyone’s in an uproar over what happened to Kain and the implications.”
“Everything’s changed,” I murmured to myself.
“Hmm?”
I took a deep breath. “Caleb shouldn’t be in trouble. He tried to stop me, but… where is he?”
“He’s here, in a different room. And he’s been awake for the last day, asking for you. He has a couple bruised ribs, but he’l be okay. He’s going to head back later today, but you’l need to stay for a little while longer.”
Relief washed through me. I relaxed back against the fluffy pil ows. “How long have I been asleep?”
He fiddled with the blankets, adjusting them around me.
“Two days.”
“Whoa.”
“You were pretty bad off, Alex. I thought… ”
I looked at him, my eyes finding his and remaining there.
“Thought what?”
Aiden exhaled softly. “I thought I— we thought we’d lost you. I’ve never seen so many tags on a person stil … living.”
His eyes fel shut briefly. They were a startling color when they reopened—a beautiful silver. “You scared me. You real y did.”
There was an odd pain in my chest, sort of a dul aching.
“I didn’t mean to. I thought—”
“What did you think, Alex? Did you think at al ?” Aiden lowered his chin. A muscle feathered along his jaw. “It doesn’t matter now. Caleb told us everything.”
I was sure what he meant by “everything” was her crazed ranting, the daimons, and those horrible, terrible hours in the bedroom. “Caleb shouldn’t be punished. He real y did try to stop me, but we got caught in an al ey… and I saw her. I should’ve… kil ed her then, but I couldn’t. I failed, and I could’ve gotten Caleb kil ed.”
Aiden faced me again. “I know.”
I swal owed. “I had to do it. She was going to keep kil ing, Aiden. I couldn’t stand around and wait for the Sentinels to find her. Yeah, it was stupid. Look at me.
” I lifted my bandaged arms. “I know it was stupid, but she was my mother. I had to do it.”
Aiden was quiet as he stared at me. “Why didn’t you come to me instead of running off and doing this?”
“Because you were busy with what happened with Kain and you would’ve stopped me.”
Anger flared behind his eyes. “Damn straight I would’ve stopped you—prevented this from happening to you!”
I flinched. “That’s why I couldn’t come to you.”
“You never should’ve faced what you did. None of us wanted you to go through this. What you must be feeling… ”
“I’m dealing.” I clamped down on the sudden pressure in the back of my throat.
He ran a hand through his hair. It looked like he’d done that several times in the last two days. “You’re so foolishly brave.”
His words brought back the memory of the night in his…
bed. “You’ve said that before.”
“Yes. And I meant it then. If I’d only known how foolishly brave you truly were, I would’ve locked you in your room.”
“I also kinda figured that, too.”
He didn’t say anything to that and we sat in silence for a long time. Then he started to stand. “You need to get some rest. I’l check in on you in a little while.”
“Don’t leave. Not yet.”
Aiden stared at me as if he could read what was going on inside me. “I know what you want to talk about, but now is not that time. You need to get better. Then we can talk.”
My fingers tightened around the blanket. “I want to talk about it now.”
“Alex.” His voice was soft.
“Aiden?”
His lips twitched at my response, but then his eyes met mine and held them in their depths. “The night—what happened between us was… wel , it shouldn’t have ever happened.”
Ouch. It was a struggle to keep my face blank and not show how much those words hurt.
“Do you… do you regret it? What happened between us?” If he said yes, I think I’d die.
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