by Karen Rock
He let go of the key and placed his hands on her face.
She stared at him wide-eyed, shaking her head, but she made no move to back away or remove his hands from her warm cheeks.
“Alex...”
“The last time we were this close, the last time we tried this—us—things didn’t end well,” she whispered.
“Things didn’t end the way we’d hoped, but I still can’t bring myself to regret any part of my time with you.” He leaned closer. “Except walking away. That part I regret every day.”
She closed her eyes and licked her lips.
She wanted this kiss as much as he did, that was obvious. He didn’t want to question it, or think about what happened next, he just wanted to kiss her. He lowered his mouth to hers. She dropped her jacket as her arms went around his neck and she moved in closer.
Her lips were exactly the way he remembered—soft, welcoming, with the faintest flavor of peppermint from her lip gloss. She moaned softly and any hope of saving his heart from Alexis Chase that holiday season vanished.
And he was so okay with that. If he had to have his heart broken twice in one lifetime, he’d be happy to have it broken by the same woman—her.
He reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. “I never thought that would happen again,” he said softly.
He felt her body stiffen as she backed away from him. “And it shouldn’t have.”
His smile faded and he lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”
She nodded, removing his hand from her face. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry, Liam, but none of this should have happened.” She turned and fumbled with the room key card in the door.
He grabbed her shoulder, turning her around to face him. “You can’t tell me that you don’t feel anything for me after you kiss me like that.”
She sighed. Her expression was full of remorse and sadness. “The problem is that I feel too much, and it’s all a little overwhelming and unexpected...”
How could she not realize that they were getting another chance to make things right? Fix the mistake they’d made in the past? The mistake he’d made.
She swallowed hard. “I was in love with you and you broke my heart. I’m not sure I’m ready to go down that road with you again,” she whispered.
Taking her hands, he bent slightly at the knees to look at her. “Alex, I swear to you, I will never be that fool again. I know what I lost before and I will never hurt you again.”
She searched his gaze and he could see all of the doubt, the hope and the indecision clouding her mind and heart.
“Alex, please.”
She gently pulled her hands from his and it broke his heart to let them go, knowing he may never get this chance again.
“Good night, Liam. Have a happy holiday,” she said before pushing the hotel room door open and disappearing inside.
His shoulders slumped as he stood staring at the door, praying it would open again. It didn’t. Seeing her jacket on the floor, he picked it up and was about to knock on her door, but he resisted. A second later, he opened his own room door and tossed his key onto the desk. His chest ached as he stepped out onto the deck and gazed at the lake, which glistened with ice and snow in the darkness. She refused to give him another chance. Eight years of silence had been too long...there was no changing the past.
* * *
ALEXIS HAD NEVER felt so torn. The only man she’d ever truly loved was asking her to give them another chance, but she couldn’t go to him. She couldn’t give him what he was asking for. Sitting in the chair by the blazing fireplace, she watched as the flames flickered and danced, her heart a raging mess.
That one kiss had reminded her of everything they’d had together, but it had also reminded her of the pain she’d lived through when things had ended. She closed her eyes as the clock on the bedside table turned over to midnight. Christmas Eve had officially begun.
She so desperately wanted to be spending it with Liam, but the memory of a different Christmas Eve plagued her...
Leaving Liam with her father had made her uneasy and she had hoped her dad wouldn’t say or do anything to make him feel even more out of place. In hindsight, she was starting to think he’d been right—inviting him to her parents annual Christmas gala wasn’t a good idea. She’d wanted that evening to be perfect, but there were too many guests, too many distractions and too many things that could go wrong.
Tonight was the night she was going to tell him she loved him. She hummed a Christmas carol as she followed her mother into the kitchen, but good mood had faded quickly with one glance at her mother’s expression. “How long are you planning to continue this with him?”
Alexis had frowned. “What do you mean?”
Her mother had placed her hands on her shoulders. “Look, I get it. He’s gorgeous, a star athlete, a nice boy. But let’s be honest, Alexis—he stands out like stainless steel among good silver.”
Stainless steel among silver? She blinked. She knew her parents were often elitist among their friends, but they’d always raised her to respect everyone and to never judge people. Liam wasn’t wealthy or planning to become a successful businessman, but she hadn’t expected her parents to react this way. She bit her lip, worrying about what her father might be saying to him at that moment. Damn, she should never have left him out there alone. “Mom, I love him.”
She let out a deep breath. “That’s ridiculous. Alexis, we let you have your fun with this guy because in a few months you will be going to Harvard to start your law degree. Your grades haven’t suffered and you seem as determined to pursue your goals as always, but if this thing with Liam starts to become a problem...”
“A problem? For who? You and dad?” This was crazy. This was her life they were talking about. She would date whoever she wanted. Love whoever she wanted. And she loved Liam.
“A problem for all of us. We have certain obligations in the community,” she said, touching her daughter’s shoulder.
Alexis had backed away. “Maybe you and dad have obligations, but I don’t.” She shook her head. “I think we are going to go.” Her parent’s annual Christmas party had always been more about maintaining their reputation than being together for the holidays.
And she’d had enough. This year, she wanted to curl up with Liam next to his tiny tree, watching Christmas movies and drinking spiked eggnog. She wanted to tell him that she loved him.
Alexis caught him just as he was nearing the front door. Rushing, she grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?” she asked.
He stared at the floor. “Alex, I’m not sure that you and I...”
Her heart had plummeted. Was he actually saying what she thought he was saying? “Liam, let’s get out of here and go to your place. You were right. This party wasn’t a good idea.” She opened the closet door and grabbed her coat and scarf.
He stopped her. “No, Alex. You should stay.”
Her mouth dropped. “You don’t want to spend Christmas with me?”
He sighed, looking pained. “I think we should take a break.”
“You can’t mean that.” He loved her. She knew it. And she was desperate to make him realize that what her family thought about them didn’t matter to her. She just wanted to be with him.
“I do. You’ll be leaving soon for law school and I’ve got to figure things out.”
Her pulse had raced as she’d taken his hands in hers and forced him to look at her. “Let’s get married,” she’d said quickly, impulsively, stupidly.
He’d stared at her blankly. She should have stopped there.
Instead, she’d continued. “We’ll figure everything else out together.”
He’d looked away and as her parents appeared in the hallway, catching the last few seconds of the conversation. H
e pulled his hands away, kissed her softly on the forehead and then walked out of the house—and out of her life.
The pain and disappointment of that evening returned now. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she sat alone in her hotel room, remembering that awful night. It had broken her heart to admit to her parents that they’d been right, not because Liam couldn’t fit into her world, but because he didn’t want to.
CHAPTER SIX
HE COULDN’T STAY at Mirror Lake Lodge any longer. Staying for Christmas Eve would be torture, knowing he wouldn’t be spending it with Alex. This need to flee was all too familiar and his gut tightened. This time he wasn’t leaving because of his own insecurities. He was leaving because she didn’t want him. She wasn’t ready to take another chance on them and he’d been stupid to think that a few days together in this magical winter wonderland resort would change anything.
As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t go back eight years and fix things.
But he could stay and fix things now, a nagging voice in his head reminded him.
He pushed that thought aside as he grabbed his suitcase and headed toward the door. On the chair lay the jacket she’d been wearing the evening before. He stopped to pick it up, breathing in the faint smell of jasmine on the fabric. Things had been going so well between them, and then he’d taken things too far with the kiss and ruined everything.
He’d leave the jacket at the front desk—they’d get it back to Alex.
He couldn’t see her that morning. Leaving was hard enough already.
Just like before. The nagging voice was back and he silenced it. This wasn’t like before. This time she’d made it perfectly clear that she didn’t see a future with him.
As he left the room and walked toward the elevator, he struggled with the desire to turn around and go back. Convince her that it wasn’t too late. Remind her one last time what it could be like if they were together. But he kept walking.
“Hi, Mr. Holloway,” Noelle said as he reached the desk, where Patsy was busy with another guest, after having taken Noelle’s shift. She frowned when she saw his bag. “You’re checking out?”
He nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah. I decided to head back to the city since there’s no wedding keeping me here.”
She gave him a knowing look, then smiled happily. “My wedding is tonight. You could stay for that.”
He laughed. “Thank you. I’m sure your wedding will be wonderful, and I wish you all the best. But I really do have to leave.”
She nodded. “Of course. Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay. And please be careful on the roads... They are predicting snow and it’s supposed to start anytime now.” She looked a little worried as she said it.
He glanced outside and saw sun, a thin cloud cover and tiny flakes falling from the sky. A perfect Christmas Eve day—outside anyway. “Also, I was wondering if I could leave this jacket with you? It belongs to Miss...” He swallowed hard. “It’s Ms. Chase’s coat. Can you make sure she gets it?”
Noelle nodded, accepting the jacket, though he was reluctant to let go of it. “No problem, Mr. Holloway.” She looked as if she might say more, but then she just smiled. “Merry Christmas.”
“Enjoy your wedding, Noelle, and Merry Christmas,” he said.
He headed toward the door before he could second-guess himself again, but another man checking in caught his arm. “Excuse me, you dropped this,” he said, handing him a folded piece of paper.
Huh, must be his hotel bill. He hadn’t noticed he’d dropped it. “Thank you,” he said, taking it and leaving the resort.
Another Christmas Eve spent walking away from everything he wanted most.
* * *
SHE’D THOUGHT SHE would never get to sleep. The last time Alexis had stared at the clock was after 4:00 a.m. but sometime later exhaustion must have taken over, as her eyes now flew open in alarm. The sun was shining through the open blinds and a soft snow fell on the deck outside her room.
Immediately, the events of the night before flashed in her mind and she buried her face in her pillow to muffle a groan. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after nine. Crap, she’d meant to be up earlier. She needed to go see Liam. In her sleepless state, one thing had become clear—she would be the biggest fool on the planet if she let this second chance to be with him slip by. All night she’d fought the urge to go to his room and tell him. She needed the time to collect her thoughts and really make sure she was ready for this.
She was.
Going into the bathroom, she splashed water on her face and ran a brush quickly through her hair, then she grabbed a sweater and left the room.
She took a deep breath. She could do this.
She stopped short as she reached his room. The door was open and the hotel’s cleaning staff were inside, their cart propping the door open. Her heart raced. She glanced inside and didn’t see his luggage anywhere. The bed was stripped of its sheets and a stack of towels lay on the floor. None of his personal belongings were anywhere to be seen. “Um...excuse me,” she said as she stepped into the room.
One of the ladies came out of the bathroom and smiled. “Merry Christmas, ma’am. Can I help you with something?”
“I was looking for the guest that was in this room. Do you know if he switched rooms?” She’d tried and failed a few days before, but maybe they’d sympathized with his story.
“He checked out first thing this morning, ma’am.”
Checked out? She blinked. He couldn’t have checked out. Where did he go? It was Christmas Eve. “Are you sure?” she croaked, her heart in her throat.
The woman checked her clipboard on the cleaning cart. “Yes, ma’am.”
She swallowed hard and nodded numbly. “Okay, thank you.” Slowly, she left the room and walked back toward her own. He’d checked out. He was gone.
Second worst Christmas Eve ever.
* * *
THE WIPERS ON the rental car were on high, but the unexpected snow was making visibility impossible as Liam drove along the I-87 on his way back to the city.
Back to a Christmas alone in his apartment. Knowing he’d be spending the holidays in Lake Placid, he hadn’t decorated or put up a tree that year, and with his dad gone a lonely, depressing few days waited for him. Luckily he had work to occupy his thoughts and packing left to do for his move to LA.
God, maybe he should oversee the Miami location instead. Being in LA would be tough now. He knew one of the reasons he’d selected the location in California was the possibility of someday seeing her again...but he’d had that chance and it hadn’t turned out the way he’d hoped.
He glanced at the cell phone in the passenger seat next to him. An image of the selfie he’d taken of him and Alex wearing the goofy Christmas sweaters made his chest ache. Why had he thought that this time could be different? That showing up to his wedding to see her again was a good idea? It had taken a long time to dull the longing he’d felt for her the last time things had ended...had he not learned his lesson?
He turned the heat up to full blast, sending the hotel receipt he’d tossed onto the dash flying up against the windshield. He reached for it and, noticing a Christmas tree in the corner of the paper, he unfolded it.
It wasn’t a hotel receipt. It was a...letter to Santa?
He turned it over, but there was no name on the back. Someone else must have dropped it in the lobby. As he started to refold it, the signature in red crayon at the bottom caught his eye. Alexis?
Pulling the car to the side of the road, he turned on his emergency flashers and quickly read her letter.
Dear Santa,
I’ve never written to you before so I’m not sure how this works. My new friends here at the North Pole in Lake Placid told me to ask for something I have always wanted and never received, so my Christmas wish this year
is for a do-over, a second chance at love.
If there is any way that I could go back in time and tell him I love him, that would be the greatest gift I could receive this year.
Sincerely,
Alexis Chase
He leaned back, resting his head against the seat. What did he do now? Continue on his way to New York, away from Alex and whatever heartache possibly waited for him back at the resort? Or go back and see if she’d accept his gift of a Christmas do-over, a second chance? He wasn’t Santa, but he was the only person who could make her Christmas wish come true. If she’d let him.
He sighed.
When it came to Alex, he never really had a choice. Even if there was just the slightest chance that she still wanted him the way he wanted her, it was worth going back for.
* * *
“THIS IS A DISASTER.”
Welcome to her life, Alexis thought as she continued to stare out the window in the lobby, not knowing what to do. She had no idea where Liam had gone. She didn’t even know if he was still somewhere in Lake Placid or if he was headed back to New York by now. God, she hoped he was okay wherever he was. The unexpected snowfall was now a snowstorm forecasted to last throughout the day and well into Christmas morning. Local authorities were cautioning people to stay off of the roads.
“What are we going to do now?” another female voice said behind her.
This conversation seemed to echo her own thoughts, so she turned to see who else was having a disastrous holiday.
She recognized Grace, the resort’s event planner, standing near the front desk, talking to Noelle, who looked close to tears.
“You’re sure she can’t make it?” the wedding planner asked.
“No. She’s really upset about it, but she doesn’t want to take the risk driving out in the storm and I can’t blame her for that.”
“We can ask someone else to be a witness for the ceremony,” Grace said.
Noelle hesitated. “I really wanted my sister here,” she whispered.
Alex felt for the poor girl. A Christmas Eve wedding, just like the one Julie and Mason were supposed to have, and now people couldn’t make it because of the weather. Her mood worsened.