by J. H. Croix
Ivy’s eyes were hot with tears, and she wanted to scream. She looked to Owen, gesturing to the screen. “I can’t… this is horrible. It doesn’t even matter what I do.”
Owen started to stand from his stool, but she couldn’t bear it. She bolted, taking off at a run down the hallway and out of the building.
Chapter 21
It was dark outside the windows of Owen’s office, the stars peeking out between the wispy clouds drifting across the night sky. It was going on midnight, and he was still working. Well, working might not be the best way to describe what he was doing. Ever since Ivy had run out of his office yesterday, he’d set a record for being distracted. She wasn’t returning his calls and had sent Joan an email with her intent to resign. He’d forgotten to turn in the completed diagrams on one of the wind turbine projects to the assembly team. As such, the team had wasted an entire day working off of draft designs. Derek had caught the major oversight and corrected it without bothering to check with Owen. He’d yet to speak to Owen about it since. Meanwhile, Owen was so irritable, he’d mostly holed himself up in his office and was ignoring everyone.
He didn’t have a clue how to fix things for Ivy with Parkhurst making good on his threat to publicly drag her down. The door to his office opened, the sound alerting him. He spun in his chair to find Derek walking in. Annoyance flared, but he shoved it away. “What’s up? Didn’t know you were working this late,” he said.
Derek walked across the room and sat down opposite Owen at the table. He leaned on his elbows and steepled his fingers under his chin. He looked over at Owen, his eyes assessing.
“What?” Owen finally asked, needled by Derek’s long silence.
“You need to pull yourself together and fast. You’re like a black cloud around here. What the hell is going on?”
Owen stared at Derek and swore under his breath. He closed his eyes and tried to quell the feeling of dread that had been knotted in his chest. Opening them again, he met Derek’s angry gaze and ran a hand through his hair. “This bullshit Parkhurst pulled about Ivy has me all screwed up. She won’t talk to me and she sent a resignation letter to Joan.”
Derek’s perceptive gaze remained trained on Owen. “Do something about it,” he said flatly.
“You think I haven’t been spinning my wheels on that since yesterday! She’ll get pissed if I do anything without talking to her about it and she won’t talk to me.”
“Do something about it,” Derek countered again.
Owen stared at him, his heart getting that funny feeling he didn’t like, the one where he felt anxious, uncertain and utterly terrified of losing Ivy. He couldn’t quite figure out what Parkhurst’s bullshit move had to do with this, but…
When he didn’t say anything, Derek leaned back and crossed his arms. “You’re scared and you’re on your way to doing something stupid.”
“On my way?” Owen finally managed to ask.
Derek rolled his eyes. “Sweet Jesus. You are so out of your depth here. I don’t have all the details because it’s not like you filled me in, but it’s obvious you like Ivy. A. Lot. It’s obvious she likes you. Difference between you two is that woman wears her heart on her sleeve. For crying out loud, she bought brownies in for Eleanor’s daughter to sell at the school bake sale after she overheard Eleanor mention her oven was on the fritz. She does crazy sweet things like that all the time around here. Meanwhile, you keep your distance. You’re a good guy, don’t get me wrong, but warm and fuzzy isn’t your thing.”
Derek opened his mouth to continue, but Owen cut in. “Still not telling me what I’m on my way to.”
Derek shook his head again. “Impatient much? Geez, dude. I was giving a little context. Anyway, Ivy is warm and fuzzy. Your whole keep your distance, all business thing won’t work if you love her. I think you can’t find your way out of this stupid paper bag Parkhurst stuffed you in because you’re afraid. Fuck him. Make a public statement about what you know and get her back publicly. Big time. We can swat his crap away like the fly it is, but not if you sit on your hands like you are now. If you ask me, you’re being a coward.”
Owen’s heart seemed to be stuck on this endless loop of nearly breaking a rib every few minutes. It gave a swift kick just now, and he closed his eyes to try to slow his pulse. He felt like he was going to burn a hole in his brain. He stared at Derek, his heart giving his practically bruised ribs another kick. “I’m not…”
In a flash, his anger ignited. He couldn’t believe Derek had just called him a coward. As quickly as the anger flared, it deflated. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. His throat was tight, and he almost wanted to cry. He wasn’t the kind of man to say men shouldn’t cry, yet he hadn’t cried in years. In fact, he hadn’t cried since the brutal weeks after his parents died. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe slowly enough that his heart would stop pounding and the pain pressing inside his chest and throat would ease. But it didn’t. The word love was something he’d avoided like the plague for years, yet everything Derek said hit him so hard, he knew it was true.
Derek held his gaze, his eyes hard. “Get off your ass and make this right.
That funny feeling Owen didn’t like nearly went wild inside his heart. He stared at Derek, feeling sick inside. He finally nodded slowly. His mouth dry, he grabbed the glass of water on the table and gulped it down. “Okay, okay. I’ll figure this out.”
Chapter 22
Owen looked over at Garrett and nodded. “Done. I’ll take care of it. You just do your thing and get my back. Actually, don’t give a damn about my back, it’s Ivy’s I’m worried about.”
Garrett returned his nod. “Got it. I’ve got the filing ready to go.”
Owen stood from the table in Garrett’s office. “Call me when it’s done.”
At that, he left Garrett’s office quickly and zoomed up the hill to Off the Grid. When he walked by Ivy’s empty office, which had been empty for days now, his heart gave his ribs a hard kick. Ever since Derek had stopped in the other night, Owen had gone into planning mode. He didn’t like acknowledging that he’d frozen on this Parkhurst mess all because he was afraid of his feelings for Ivy, but Derek had been right. Owen was never one to back down from a fight, or give a damn about the kind of bullshit Parkhurst had pulled. He’d called Garrett late that night and asked him to sue Parkhurst for defamation. Owen was teed up to send out a public announcement with the whole sordid story about what Parkhurst had put Ivy through. It had taken three long days to get everything lined up because he was determined to do it right. He’d drawn upon his connections and tracked down three former doctoral students who were willing to go public about their own experiences with Parkhurst.
He slammed his office door shut behind him and sat down at his computer, pulling up the statement he’d written. He’d had Garrett review it beforehand, just to make sure he didn’t put Ivy in any legal jeopardy by what he was about to do. He pulled it up and attached it to the email going out to every major engineering publication in the country, along with the chair of every department of any consequence. He hit send and immediately left, determined to find Ivy.
Ivy stared at her email, reading it again. Her heart was pounding so hard it hurt.
“What is it?” Ginger asked.
Ivy was sitting on the couch at Ginger and Cam’s house, pretty much where she’d been camped for days. She was sick over what Dr. Parkhurst had done. She’d turned in her resignation to Joan and ignored every call from Owen. She had to back away because she wasn’t going to let her presence taint the good reputation Off the Grid had. Owen couldn’t fix any of this, so she needed to make a clean break. She’d also come to the conclusion this gave her a way to back out of the emotional tangle she was in with Owen.
When it came to him, she’d screwed up royally. She should never, ever have thought she could somehow get Owen out of her system and keep her heart tucked away. She didn’t fault herself for wanting to, dear god, the attraction between them was enough to s
et a room on fire. Yet, she was annoyed because she might not have had too much experience with relationships, but she had known she didn’t tend to go the casual route. If she had been more of a casual type dater, she’d have lost her virginity long ago. It had been so naïve to stumble into this fling with Owen.
She’d been so focused on getting past the entire mess, she didn’t even know how to react right now. She was stunned. She’d just received an email from a reporter asking about her response to the lawsuit filed by Owen against Dr. Parkhurst. Her phone had been blowing up for the last half hour, but she’d ignored every call because she hadn’t recognized any of the numbers. She’d finally opened her email to find her inbox filled with inquiries. It wasn’t as if the engineering field was all too trendy, but Owen and his work were. She lifted her gaze and looked at Ginger.
“Owen filed a lawsuit against Dr. Parkhurst for defamation of character against me. I didn’t know he could do that, but I guess since I was working at Off the Grid…”
Ginger grabbed Ivy’s phone from her. “Give me that.” She quickly scrolled through the email and lifted her fist in triumph. “Yes!”
Ivy’s heart was beating wildly. She didn’t even know what to feel, although she couldn’t help but feel incredibly pleased Owen had gone to bat for her like this. No matter what, he’d just thrown his own reputation and that of Off the Grid in with her. “Is this good? Isn’t it going to make things even messier?”
Ginger handed Ivy’s phone back to her. “It’s already a mess for you. Owen’s just gone big, and I mean big, on showing you he has your back. If you wondered whether he loved you, no need to worry anymore. Get your ass off that couch and go see him. I know you’ve been avoiding his calls like the plague.”
Ivy stared at her for a long moment before leaping up.
Hours later, Ivy walked quickly down the hallway at Off the Grid, passing her darkened office, and straight into Owen’s office. She’d spent the afternoon and evening looking for him. She’d tried calling and gotten no answer for hours. This was her third stop by the office after failing to find him earlier. Joan had discovered he’d forgotten his phone here, so that left Ivy running around blindly most of the afternoon.
As she stepped through the door, Owen turned from where he was sitting at the table and her heart gave a little kick. Across the room, the current between them flickered to life, its heat scoring her straight through. She closed the door behind her. It just now occurred to her he didn’t have blinds on his office door like she did. Of all the things she’d have wondered she might regret, the lack of blinds on an office door wasn’t one of them. Yet, right here, right now, it pained her. She looked over at his bright blue gaze, his rumpled black hair, and his to-die-for body and wished she could slake her instant lust for him immediately.
With a deep breath, she managed to walk normally across the room and stop in front of him, far enough away she could keep her hands to herself. Before she had a chance to speak, he did. “Joan told me to stay put when I got back here a few minutes ago. I’ve been looking all over for you.” His gaze held hers.
Emotion pounded through her. She was still so stunned at what he’d done for her, she didn’t quite know what to say. She turned to lean against the table and curled her hands over the edge.
Owen’s eyes scanned over her. “I hope you don’t mind…”
“Of course not! I can’t believe you sued him, and I’m afraid it’s going to make things messy for you.”
Owen grinned, a devilish glint in his eyes. “Maybe so, but I don’t give a damn.” His gaze sobered quickly and he stood, stepping in front of her and sliding his hands down her arms to pull hers free from where they were curled on the table and into his. “It’s funny, but not really. I’d like to kick his ass for what he put you through.”
Her pulse resumed its wild rhythm as she looked up into his eyes. It was getting harder and harder to keep her hope leashed. Her heart was all in when it came to Owen, and he seemed to be trying to let go of some of the rigid walls he kept around his. The air around them buzzed to life, the current that had gone idle for a few minutes revving up.
What she said next startled her. It came straight from her heart, skipping her head altogether. “I think I love you.”
The second the words came out, she gasped. His hands tightened over hers. He was silent, his eyes searching her face. With her heart beating so hard and fast, it was a miracle she didn’t topple over from the exertion, she stared back, wishing upon wish she’d had enough sense to keep her mouth shut. She hadn’t been ready to say those words, the feeling had just welled up and blurted itself out.
When he stayed quiet, she gathered the remnants of her courage and spoke again. “I didn’t mean to say that right now. It just, well, it just came out. Don’t…”
He stared at her for several beats. His shoulders rose and fell with his heaving breath. Her pulse lunged and her heart clenched. She wasn’t certain how to read his expression because all she could think was that he looked scared. Yet, Owen wasn’t a man to be scared. He was remarkably controlled. The only times she’d seen him lose his iron grip on control was when they were twined together, their hearts and bodies almost as one. After the quiet dragged on, she couldn’t help but reach her hand out. It lifted on its own accord, reaching to smooth her fingertip along his brow and down his cheek, rough with stubble. He hadn’t shaved in days, but because he was ridiculously handsome, it only added to his charm. “Owen, are you okay?”
He reached up, his hand curling over hers and holding it fast within his grip. “I’m more than okay.”
Her stomach did a slow flip, while her heart beat wildly in her chest.
His eyes were locked to hers, his gaze so intense she had to hold still and force herself not to look away. “I…” His breath drew in sharply, and he closed his eyes. On the heels of another breath, he met her gaze again. “I, uh, I love you. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m sorry I was such an ass and it took me so long to figure it out. I’ve been trying to call you since the other day and…”
She blinked against the tears pressing at the back of her eyes, one drop sliding down her cheek. “You weren’t an ass. My God, what you just did for me is huge.” Emotion was rolling through her, yet she couldn’t even think, much less believe she could let herself hope simply because Owen said he loved her.
“Oh no. I was definitely an ass and selfish as hell. I wanted to have it all without putting myself on the line. I froze after Parkhurst pulled his bullshit move. Derek called me out, and I realized I was sitting on my damn hands over it because I was afraid of how much you mean to me. When you wouldn’t take my calls, I decided I’d do what I could to make it right. I don’t give a damn about the negative publicity, but I wanted to do it right, so Parkhurst would get the public beating he deserves.”
Another tear rolled down her cheek. “I can’t believe what you did. You tracked down those other women and actually filed a lawsuit. Are you sure this won’t make things hard for Off the Grid?”
He angled his head to the side and lifted a hand, wiping the dampness off her cheek with his thumb. “I don’t care if it does, but I don’t think it will. Garrett’s on it, so we’re in good hands. All I care about is you. Even if you don’t stay here, you’re an amazing engineer, and you deserve the accolades you’ve gotten. I want you to be able to rise above the crap he’s trying to spew. You will. I know it.”
His shoulders rose and fell with another breath. “Enough talking about Parkhurst. Let Garrett do his job.” He stepped closer, reaching for her other hand. “I won’t pretend I know what the hell I’m doing because I definitely don’t. But I love you and I can’t stand the idea of not seeing you every day. Please tell me you’ll withdraw your resignation and come back. I’ll support whatever you want to do, but I love knowing you’re right here with me.”
Ivy’s heart flew skyward, beating hard and fast with pure joy. She yanked her hands free and flung her arms around him, burying her face
in his neck. He held her tight against him, one hand sliding up her back in a heated pass and the other stroking through her hair.
When she leaned back to look at him, that dark look had faded from his eyes. Nothing but pure blue, glittering with warmth, shone back at her. “Does this mean…?”
“That I’m sorry it took me so damn long to figure out how much I love you? Yes,” he said with a low chuckle. His eyes sobered. She shimmied down and curled her hands around his again. “I don’t know if I need to explain why I was so slow about this, but after my parents died, I decided I didn’t want to hurt like that ever again. I was stupid enough to think I could control that kind of thing. I just hadn’t been tested yet. Then I met you.”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“I need to for me. When I started to understand how much you meant, I didn’t handle it well. I thought I could have it both ways. That I could somehow have you without putting myself on the line. That wasn’t fair to you. This whole Parkhurst thing blew up, and I didn’t know what the hell to do. I suppose the one good thing he did was make me figure out how much you mean to me.”
She wouldn’t have thought it possible to love him more, but she did. He was so intrinsically good, so fair and so true. She squeezed his hands. “We both stumbled into this.”
His mouth curled at one corner. “That’s one way to put it.”
With one step, he was so close, she could feel the heat of him. The air shimmered to life around them. She placed her hand on his chest, his heart beating under her palm. He dipped his head and caught her lips in a kiss.
Epilogue
Ivy’s footsteps echoed as she walked down the hallway at Off the Grid. She smiled as she looked through the windows comprising the outer wall of the hallway. Snow was falling softly outside, adding to the already considerable snowpack on the mountains. Every so often when she was walking down this hallway, she thought of the day of her interview roughly a year ago now. She’d been so distracted, she hadn’t really been able to enjoy the spectacular view unless she was counting the view of Owen. Smiling to herself, she entered her office, tossed her jacket on a chair and immediately powered up her computer.