by Lila Felix
And we were on our way to start our life.
Our life that held a very promising future.
A very promising, very long future.
The End.
West’s Book, yet untitled, will be coming soon.
Acknowledgements:
Lila:
As always, first and foremost, I thank God for this crazy life.
My husband and kids are the breath to my life and I wouldn’t be able to do this without them. Their pride in what I do floors me day after day.
To Rachel: Wonder Twin powers, activate. That is all.
To the Rink Rats: Mess with my rats and you will get the claws! Y’all are the best street team on the planet. Hands down.
Monique O’Connor James: I missed you on this one, kid. I’ll miss you on every one.
Mandy IReadIndie, Ashleigh Russell, Eden Butler, Candace Selph, and Jamie Magee and so many more, thank you for listening to me complain and fuss and then telling me to suck it up and write on.
To the Hellcats: Eye of the Tiger, ladies, Eye of the Tiger.
To the reader: Thank you for reading Bridger and Tate’s story.
Rachel:
I thank God, who gives me the strength and the coherence to do this thing. Most days I am lost. It’s a miracle when I can put two sentences together. And especially when they make sense.
To Zach, who will always inspire the love in my love stories. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for putting up with me. And thank you going on this epic adventure with me.
To my little brother, who’s not exactly little. Robbie, you’re amazing. Watching you get diagnosed with Hodgkins and going through what you did was one of the scariest times of my life. I am so thankful for your treatment, for your wise doctors, for nurses that helped give you a purpose and for your incredible persistence to survive and move on. You are amazing. I’m sorry I got annoyed with you when you had mono. Also. I love you.
To my Hellcats, Shelly Crane, Amy Bartol, Angeline Kace, Lila Felix, Samantha Young, Quinn Loftis, and Georgia Cates. Ladies, you are the best there is. I would be lost without you. I love you all. To pieces.
To the Reckless Rebels, the best group of girls in the world. I love you all. And I am convinced it doesn’t get better than you girls. Thank you for being awesome. And for putting up with me. I appreciate everything you do!
To Lila, thank you for this book and for the opportunity to write with you. You had to put up with so much from me this time around. Thank you for still wanting to be my friend. I can’t wait for West. It’s going to be our best yet.
And to you, the Reader. Thank you for downloading and enjoying Brazing. We appreciate every single second you spent with Bridger and Tate. Thank you for your support! We hope you come back for West’s love story. That boy needs a woman.
Please keep reading for a sample of Lila’s book, and Rachel’s new adult contemporary, The Five Stages of Falling in Love, coming January 27th, 2015.
Other works by the authors:
Lila Felix:
www.lilafelix.com
www.facebook.com/authorlilafelix
Twitter: @authorlilafelix
E-mail: [email protected]
Emerge
Perchance
The Love and Skate Series
Love and Skate, How It Rolls, Down ‘N’ Derby, Caught In A Jam, False Start
The Bayou Bear Chronicles
(Burden, Hearten)
The Lightning Series
Sparrows For Free
AnguiSH / HeartBREAKER
Hoax
Forced Autonomy (A Dystopian Serial)
Coming Soon: Doves For Sale, The Second Jam (The Second Generation Roller Derby Series), and Love Mercy
Rachel Higginson:
Rachel Higginson was born and raised in Nebraska, but spent her college years traveling the world. She married her high school sweetheart and spends her days raising their growing family. She is obsessed with bad reality TV and any and all Young Adult Fiction.
Look for more from Rachel in 2014.
Other books by Rachel to be released in 2014 are The Redeemable Prince, the seventh book in The Star-Crossed Series, The Heart, the third book in the Siren Series and look for The Five Stages of Falling in Love, and adult contemporary romance, coming early 2015.
Other Books Now Available by Rachel Higginson
Love and Decay, Season One, Episodes One-Twelve
Love and Decay, Season Two, Episodes One-Twelve
Love and Decay, Volume One (Episodes One-Six, Season One)
Love and Decay, Volume Two (Episodes Seven-Twelve, Season One)
Love and Decay, Volume Three (Episodes One-Four, Season Two)
Love and Decay, Volume Four (Episodes Five-Eight, Season Two)
Love and Decay, Volume Five (Episodes Nine-Twelve, Season Two)
Reckless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 1)
Hopeless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 2)
Fearless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 3)
Endless Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 4)
The Reluctant King (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 5)
The Relentless Warrior (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 6)
Breathless Magic (the Star-Crossed Series, Book 6.5)
Fateful Magic (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 6.75)
The Redeemable Prince (The Star-Crossed Series, Book 7)
Heir of Skies (The Starbright Series, Book 1)
Heir of Darkness (The Starbright Series, Book 2)
Heir of Secrets (The Starbright Series, Book 3)
The Rush (The Siren Series, Book 1)
The Fall (The Siren Series, Book 2)
Bet in the Dark (An NA Contemporary Romance)
Striking (The Forged in Fire Series) a co-authored Contemporary NA
Follow Rachel on her blog at:
www.rachelhigginson.com
Or on Twitter:
@mywritesdntbite
Or on her Facebook pages:
Rachel Higginson
Please enjoy a sample of The Five Stages of Falling in Love by Rachel Higginson
Coming January 27th, 2015
Prologue
“Hey, there she is,” Grady looked up at me from his bed, his eyes smiling even while his mouth barely mimicked the emotion.
“Hey, you,” I called back. The lights had been dimmed after the last nurse checked his vitals and the TV was on, but muted. “Where are the kiddos? I was only in the cafeteria for ten minutes.”
Grady winked at me playfully, “My mother took them.” I melted a little at his roguish expression. It was the same look that made me agree to a date with him our junior year of college, it was the same look that made me fall in love with him- the same one that made me agree to have our second baby boy when I would have been just fine to stop after Blake, Abby and Lucy.
“Oh, yeah?” I walked over to the hospital bed and sat down next to him. He immediately reached for me, pulling me against him with weak arms. I snuggled back into him, so that my head rested on his thin shoulder and our bodies fit side by side on the narrow bed. One of my legs didn’t make it and hung off awkwardly. But I didn’t mind. It was just perfect to lie next to the love of my life, my husband.
“Oh, yeah,” he growled suggestively. “You know what that means?” He walked his free hand up my arm and gave my breast a wicked squeeze. “When the kids are away, the grownups get to play…”
“You are so bad,” I swatted him- or at least made the motion of swatting at him, since I was too afraid to hurt him.
“God, I don’t remember the last time I got laid,” he groaned next to me and I felt the rumble of his words against my side.
“Tell me about it, sport,” I sighed. “I could use a nice, hard-“
“Elizabeth Carlson,” he cut in on a surprised laugh. “When did you get such a dirty mouth?”
“I think you’ve known about my dirty mouth for quite some time, Grady,” I flirted back. We’d been serious for so long
it was nice to flirt with him, to remember that we didn’t just love each other, but we liked each other too.
He grunted in satisfaction. “That I have. I think your dirty mouth had something to do with Lucy’s conception.”
I blushed. Even after all these years, he knew exactly what to say to me. “Maybe,” I conceded.
“Probably,” he chuckled, his breath hot on my ear.
We laid there in silence for a while, enjoying the feel of each other, watching the silent TV screen flicker in front of our eyes. It was perfect- or as close to perfect as we had felt in a long time.
“Dance with me, Lizzy,” Grady whispered after a while. I’d thought maybe he fell asleep; the drugs were so hard on his system that he was usually in and out of consciousness. This was actually the most coherent he’d been in a month.
“Ok,” I agreed. “It’s the first thing we’ll do when you get out. We’ll have your mom come over and babysit, you can take me to dinner at Pazio’s and we’ll go dancing after.”
“Mmm, that sounds nice,” he agreed. “You love Pazio’s. That’s a guaranteed get-lucky night for me.”
“Baby,” I crooned. “As soon as I get you back home, you’re going to have guaranteed get-lucky nights for at least a month, maybe two.”
“I don’t want to wait. I’m tired of waiting. Dance with me now, Lizzy,” Grady pressed, this time sounding serious.
“Babe, after your treatment this morning, you can barely stand up right now. Honestly, how are you going to put all those sweet moves on me?” I teased, wondering where this sudden urge to dance- of all things- was coming from.
“Lizzy, I am a sick man. I haven’t slept in my own bed in four months, I haven’t seen my wife naked in just as long, and I am tired of lying in this bed. I want to dance with you. Will you please, pretty please, dance with me?”
I nodded at first because I was incapable of speech. He was right. I hated that he was right, but I hated that he was sick even more.
“Alright, Grady, I’ll dance with you,” I finally whispered.
“I knew I’d get my way,” he croaked smugly.
I slipped off the bed and turned around to face my husband and help him to his feet. His once full head of auburn hair was now bald, reflecting the pallid color of his skin. His face was haggard, dark black circles under his eyes, chapped lips and pale cheeks. He was still as tall as he’d ever been, but instead of the toned muscles and thick frame he once boasted, he was depressingly skinny and weak, his shoulders perpetually slumped.
The only thing that remained the same was his eyes, they were the same dark green eyes I’d fallen in love with ten years ago. They were still full of life, even when his body wasn’t, still full of mischief while the rest of him was tired and exhausted from fighting this stupid sickness.
“You always get your way,” I grumbled while I helped him up from the bed.
“Only with you,” he shot back on a pant after successfully standing. “And only because you love me.”
“That I do,” I agreed. Grady’s hands slipped around my waist and he clutched my sides in an effort to stay standing.
I slipped my arms around his neck, but didn’t allow any weight to press down on him. We maneuvered our bodies around his IV and monitors. It was awkward, but we managed.
“What should we listen to?” I asked, while I pulled out my cell phone and turned it to my iTunes app.
“You know what song. There is no other song when we’re dancing,” he reminded me on a faint smile.
“You must be horny,” I laughed. “You’re getting awfully romantic.”
“Just trying to keep this fire alive, babe,” he pulled me closer and I held back the flood of tears that threatened to spill over.
I turned on The Way You Look Tonight- the Frank Sinatra version- and we swayed slowly back and forth. Frank sang the soft, beautiful lyrics with the help of a full band, the music drifting around us over the constant beeping and whirring of medical machines. This was the song we thought of as ours, the first song we’d danced to at our wedding, the song he still made the band at Pazio’s play on our anniversary each year.
“This fire is very much alive,” I informed him sternly. I lay my forehead against his shoulder and inhaled him. He didn’t smell like himself anymore, he was full of chemo drugs and smelled like hospital soap and detergent, but he was still Grady. And even though he barely resembled himself anymore, he still felt like Grady.
He was still my Grady.
“It is, isn’t it?” He whispered. I could feel how week he was growing, how tired this was making him, but still he clung to me, held me close. When my favorite verse came on, he leaned his head down and whispered in a broken voice along with Frank, “There is nothing for me, but to love you. And the way you look tonight.”
Silent tears streamed down my face with truths I wasn’t ready to admit to myself and fears that were too horrifying to even think. This was the man I loved with every fiber of my being- the only man I’d ever loved. The only man I’d ever love.
He’d made me fall in love with him before I was old enough to drink legally, then he’d convinced me to marry him before I even graduated college. He knocked me up a year later, and didn’t stop until we had four wild rugrats that all had his red hair and his emerald green eyes. He’d forced me to finish my undergrad, and then grad school while I was pregnant, nursing and then pregnant again. He went to bed every night with socks on and then took them off sometime in the middle of the night, leaving them obnoxiously tucked in between our sheets. He could never find his wallet, or his keys, and when there was hair to grow he always forgot to shave.
And he drove me crazy most of the time.
But he was mine.
He was my husband.
And now he was sick.
“I do love you, Lizzy,” he murmured against my hair. “I’ll always love you, even when I’m dead and gone.”
“Which won’t be for a very long time,” I reminded him on a sob.
He ignored me, “You love me back, don’t you?”
“Yes, I love you back,” I whispered with so much emotion the words felt stuck in my throat. “But you already knew that.”
“Maybe,” he conceded gently. “But I will never, ever get tired of hearing it.”
I sniffled against him, staining his hospital gown with my mascara and eye liner. “That’s a good thing, because you’re going to be hearing it for a very long time.”
He didn’t respond, just kept swaying with me back and forth until the song ended. He asked me to play it again and I did, three more times. By the end of the fourth time, he was too tired to stand. I laid him back in bed and helped him adjust the IV and monitor again so that it didn’t bother him, then pulled the sheet over his cold toes.
His eyes were closed and I thought he’d fallen asleep, so I bent down to kiss his forehead. He stirred at my touch and reached out to cup my face with his un-needled arm. I looked down into his depthless green eyes and fell in love with him all over again.
It was as simple as that.
It had always been that simple for him to get me to fall in love with him.
“You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, Lizzy.” His voice was broken and scratchy and a tear slid out from the corner of each of his eyes.
My chin trembled at his words because I knew what he was doing and I hated it, I hated every part of it. I shook my head, trying to get him to stop but he held my gaze and just kept going.
“You are. And you have made my life good, and worth living. You have made me love more than any man has ever known how to love. I didn’t know this kind of happiness existed in real life, Liz, and you’re the one that gave it to me. I couldn’t be more thankful for the life we’ve shared together. I couldn’t be more thankful for you.”
“Oh, Grady, please-”
“Lizzy,” he said in his most stern voice that he only ever used when I’d maxed out a credit card. “Whatever happens, whatever happ
ens to me, I want you to keep giving this gift to other people.” I opened my mouth to vehemently object to everything he was saying but he silenced me with a cold finger on my lips. “I didn’t say go marry the first man you find. Hell, I’m not even talking about another man. But I don’t want this light to die with me. I don’t want you to forget how happy you make other people just because you might not feel happy. Even if I don’t, Lizzy, I want you to go on living. Promise me that.”
But I shook my head, “no.” I wasn’t going to promise him that. I couldn’t make myself. And it was unfair of him to ask me that.
“Please, sweetheart, for me?” His deep, green eyes glossed over with emotion and I could physically feel how painful this was for him to ask me. He didn’t want this anymore than I did.
I found myself nodding, while I sniffled back a stream of tears. “Ok,” I whispered. “I promise.”
He broke out into a genuine smile then, his thumb rubbing back and forth along my jaw. “Now tell me you love me, one more time.”
“I love you, Grady,” I murmured, leaning into his touch and savoring this moment with him.
“And I will always, always love you, Lizzy,” he promised.
His eyes finally fluttered shut and his hand dropped from my face. His vitals remained the same, so I knew he was just sleeping. I crawled into bed with him, gently shifting him so that I could lie on my side, in the nook of his arm and lay my hand on his chest. I did this often; I liked to feel the beat of his heart underneath my hand. It had stopped too many times before, for me to trust its reliability. My husband was a very sick man, and had been for a while now.