“Fine. I don’t need your help,” Connor said. “I’ll just use my charm.”
“I better go warn the girls,” Zach joked.
Jeff switched off from the bantering going on among the guys. Out of all the people there tonight, he—the birthday boy—was the one least enjoying himself.
Sarah hadn’t called, or even texted, to greet him a happy birthday. That cut him deeply. Big fucking time.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, heart pounding with sudden hope. Relief washed over him even as nerves attacked his system.
Yes. Sarah.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“I just want to greet you a happy birthday, Jeff,” Sarah said quietly. She hadn’t wanted to call him, but it was his birthday and she couldn’t not greet him.
“Thank you. But you’re not here,” he said with a tinge of hurt.
She bit her lip and took a deep breath. “Sorry. I couldn’t be.”
“Sarah, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you—”
“Jeff, I don’t think this is a good time to talk,” she interrupted. “You’re in the middle of your birthday party.”
“No, please. Let’s talk now.”
“No, I—”
“Why did you just leave, Sarah? Why didn’t you wait for me so I could explain things to you?”
She shut her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that Bianca was back and working with you?”
She heard his deep sigh.
“I thought it wasn’t the right time,” Jeff explained. “I didn’t want to ruin the moment because we’d just agreed to start dating. I thought talking about Bianca could happen some other time.”
Sarah breathed deeply as she tried to contain her emotions. “You saw her last Sunday,” she said bleakly. “She called you while you were with me. And you rushed back to Sydney to be with her.”
“To work!”
“On a Sunday night, Jeff? With your ex-fiancée? And you didn’t tell me who she really was when I made a big deal about the caller having the name Bee.”
“I know it looks bad. But I swear it was innocent. We just had dinner and we discussed our ad campaign. We’re not back together.”
“She’s there at your party, right?” she asked tightly.
“Yes,” Jeff said after a long pause.
“When will she finish working with you?”
Another long pause. “She’s doing a great job, Sarah. We’re thinking of giving her the whole Carmichael account to work on.”
Sarah’s heart constricted even more and she acknowledged the pain. It wasn’t a surprise to her. She’d been expecting this. Jeff might not consciously know it—might even be denying it—but it seemed to her that he still wanted Bianca in his life.
This was exactly why she knew she’d done the right thing by leaving. She and Jeff were nowhere near ‘seriously committed’ territory. It was all about sex for him. He probably wouldn’t even have considered moving from having a fling to dating if she hadn’t brought it up.
“You’ve made your choice, Jeff,” she said in a factual, non-accusatory tone.
“What do you mean? This is all professional, Sarah,” he said pleadingly.
She shook her head, memories of her own failed engagement meshing with this here-and-now situation. “I can’t, Jeff.”
“We can work this out.”
“No. We can’t. I can’t. I can’t go through every day knowing you’re working closely with your ex-fiancée.”
“But, Sarah, it’s you I want to be with.”
“Maybe you think that’s true, Jeff, but I don’t believe that that’s the case. You and Bianca have so much history. You loved her so much that you proposed to her. As for the two of us, we were only having a fling until a week ago.”
“So why am I here pleading with you over the phone instead of canoodling in some darkened corner with her then?”
She shook her heard vigorously. “What I see in the future is you breaking up with me because one day you’ll wake up and realise you’re really not over Bianca.”
“That’s your fear talking, Sarah.”
“Yes. Yes, it is. And Bianca working with you is never going to erase that fear for me. All we’ll have is a toxic relationship if we continue.”
“Sarah, the decision to give Bianca the Carmichael account goes beyond my personal issues. There’s the whole company to think about here, not just me.”
“I understand that. I’m not even asking you to consider sacking her. Not at all. That’s why I can’t see how you and I can work. Better to end it now while we’re not in too deep.”
“Sarah...” he said pleadingly.
“Bye, Jeff. Happy birthday again,” she said past the big lump in her throat. She hung up and sobbed in her pillow.
*****
“Thanks for letting me stay here with you, Amanda,” Sarah said, grateful that she didn’t have to be alone in her apartment, pining for the man who haunted her every single minute. It had been two days since she’d spoken with Jeff, and she still couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation. It was sheer torture.
“No problem, honey,” Amanda answered.
“I’m sorry I ruined your two weeks off. You could have been enjoying the Hunter Valley this week with the other girls.”
“Don’t worry about it. I already spent last week there. And the girls are really worried about you too, you know.”
“I know. I—”
Sarah’s phone rang. She wanted to pick it up, but all she could do was stare at it. It finally stopped ringing, and Jeff didn’t leave a message.
“Sarah, don’t you think you should at least hear what he has to say?” Amanda asked. “Even Bec, Bren and Gemma said that he hardly spoke with Bianca during his party—all because of you.”
“They don’t know for sure that it was all because of me,” she said.
“But they do! Zach told Bec, and Zach would know.”
“So what does this photo mean then?” she asked, picking up her laptop and going to a gossip site. There was a photo of Jeff in a dark corner somewhere at Magda’s Place, alone with Bianca. They were standing close together and Bianca had her hand on Jeff’s arm. The caption said: Jeffrey Carmichael and an ex-girlfriend during his birthday party. Are they back together?
“Surely you don’t believe what you read on that site,” Amanda said rather disgustedly.
“I don’t believe that someone doctored this photo. This happened, Amanda.”
“But what your own best friends witnessed that night—and your own telephone conversation with Jeff—portrayed a different story from what that photo’s trying to imply.”
“I know,” Sarah said with a sigh. “I’m just scared of making the same mistake again.”
“So what are you going to do? Not talk to Jeff ever again?”
“I do miss him, Amanda. But I think it’s best for me to stay away from him for a while. I want to know if he’ll still feel the same about me after some time has passed. If all this time apart makes him gravitate back to Bianca, then that’s my answer. My main fear is that he still loves her, and that his pain from her past rejection is just covering that up.”
“I think you’re projecting.”
“Projecting?”
“Yes. You’re projecting your fear on to Jeff. That’s not necessarily how he feels.”
Sarah went silent, worrying her bottom lip.
“Sarah, Jeff isn’t your bastard ex-fiancée,” Amanda said softly.
“But why does he want to work with Bianca again? That’s just something I can’t understand.”
“Like Bec said, the brothers think Bianca’s really excellent at her job. That’s all. You’re the one giving it more meaning than what’s really there.”
Sarah nodded, hope slowly poking its head out from the box where she’d forced it to hide. The thing was, she was too scared of getting hurt and humiliated again. Ironically, she was hurting anyway—a freaking lot. She missed Jeff so damned muc
h.
Could it really be just all professional with Bianca?
“Give yourselves another chance, Sarah,” Amanda urged.
“I’ll talk to him on Saturday, when we’re back at Magda’s Place.”
*****
Sarah opened the door to a grinning Ashton Payne, Amanda’s older sibling.
“Hello, birthday girl. You look great!” Ash said, giving her a big bear hug.
“Thank you, Ash,” she replied, returning the hug of the man she’d considered as her older brother since her pre-teens.
“Oh, here’s your birthday present,” Ash said, pulling out an envelope from his jacket pocket.
She opened it and found a cute, humorous birthday card and a spa voucher. She gave Ash another hug, grateful that her friends’ siblings could make it to the joint engagement/birthday party. At least she had ‘adopted’ family around. It helped erase her disappointment that her own parents and brother couldn’t make it, since they now lived in Western Australia—her dad’s and brother’s work with a mining company taking them there.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” she asked Ash.
A shadow passed over Ash’s face. “We had a fight. She’s not going with us.”
“Oh Ash!” Amanda said, rushing to her brother. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Anyway are you girls ready to go? I’m looking forward to seeing Magda’s Place. I’ve heard so much about it.”
“You’ll love it,” Amanda said. “I think Zach’s also organised a winery tour for their guests tomorrow. You’ll enjoy that.”
“Cool. Can’t wait to meet the future husband of one of my ‘little sisters’. I can’t believe Bec’s getting married. Last time I saw her, she was still single!”
“That goes to show how long it’s been since we’ve last seen you,” Sarah murmured absently, staring down at her ridiculously high stilettos. “I’m not sure anymore if I want to wear these shoes.”
“What’s wrong with them? They look sexy,” Ash said.
“I’m not used to heels this high. I don’t want to trip over my own feet. What do you think, Amanda?”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “You’ve been debating whether to change or not for the last hour, Sarah. Make up your mind already.”
Sarah took a few steps to again gauge her ability to walk in such uncomfortable footwear. Seriously, she admired women who could stand around in them, much less walk.
She was someone who preferred comfort before fashion, and normally she wouldn’t give a toss about the height of her heels. But she worried that a photo with her in it might end up in the magazines, and she wanted to look glamorous if it did. Not that she thought anyone would be interested in her—but she was celebrating her birthday along with Zach and Bec’s engagement. People would be taking snaps of the couple, and she might happen to be in the background.
“Come on, Sarah, we need to head off if we want to get there before six,” Ash said.
“Just bring another dressy pair with you and leave them in Ash’s car,” Amanda suggested. “Then you can decide later if you want to change or not.”
“Great idea,” she agreed brightly, heading to her shoe cupboard to retrieve a lower-heeled pair.
“I’ve never seen you worry so much about shoes, Sarah,” Ash said. “Trying to impress someone, are you?”
“No,” she denied.
“Why that sad pout on your face then, huh?” Ash asked.
Sarah smiled. She had such a bad poker face. “Well, like you, I’m having heart problems, Ash.”
“Oh, sorry to hear. Who’s the man? Is he going to be there tonight?”
“Jeffrey Carmichael.”
Ash’s eyebrows went up. “Damn. What has gotten into you girls that you’re all of a sudden going after the Carmichael brothers? You haven’t got the hots for the third brother, have you, sis?” he asked Amanda.
Amanda snorted. “I haven’t even met him yet. I’ll tell you after tonight.”
“Right. Anyway, let’s go and you can tell me all about your heart problems in the car, Sarah,” Ash said, picking up two overnight bags belonging to the girls.
“Only if you tell us what happened with you and your girlfriend.”
“Deal.”
*****
Sarah restlessly played with her charm bracelet as Ash cruised through the long, tree-lined driveway leading up to Magda’s Place. She’d pleaded with Rebecca to not make this night a joint birthday/engagement party, but her friend wouldn’t hear of it.
No doubt Jeff would already be there. What would she say when they met again? What would he say? More than a few times in the last few days, she’d wanted to pick up the phone and call him. But fears and doubts overtook her yet again.
Just yesterday there had been a new article in the papers about Jeff and Bianca. Well, the story was supposed to be about Magda’s Place, but a good chunk of the piece was about Bianca coming back to work “intimately” with Jeff. The suggestion was clear. Bianca’s return was for reasons beyond professional.
“Sarah?” Amanda said softly from the front passenger seat. “You ready?”
“No,” she said miserably.
“Oh honey,” Amanda said, turning around to look at her. “You’ll be fine.”
“You don’t need to talk to that man at all if you don’t want to, Sarah,” Ash chimed in. “If you like, I’ll be your bodyguard tonight and keep him away from you.”
Amanda tapped her brother on the arm. “They should be talking so they could sort things out.”
“Why do you sound like you’re in Jeffrey’s corner?” Ash asked his sister.
“From what they’ve seen last week, Rebecca, Brenna and Gemma believe Jeff really likes Sarah. It would be such a waste if they throw this all away,” Amanda said, waving her hands in the air.
“But Sarah doesn’t seem to want to talk to him again. Why force her?”
“Duh, because she’s in love with him but she thinks Jeff might still be in love with his ex-fiancée,” Amanda said.
“I just want proof that Jeff doesn’t have feelings for Bianca anymore, and that it’s me he really wants,” Sarah interjected.
“What kind of proof?”
Sarah inhaled deeply. She knew there was only one proof that could obliterate all her fears and doubts—a sincere ‘I love you’ from Jeff.
“Sarah?” Amanda prodded.
“I want to hear him say he loves me,” she answered in a small voice.
“You know some people say ‘I love you’ but they don’t really mean it?” Ash quipped.
“You’re not really helping here, Ash,” Amanda said dryly.
“I’m just saying.”
“Have you lied to someone about your feelings before, Ash?” Sarah asked.
“I’m not saying.”
“Aha!” Amanda cried out. “You have lied about it. To whom?”
“Hey, come on. We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Sarah wanting to hear Jeffrey Carmichael say he loves her.” Ash glanced at Sarah from the rear-view mirror. “You know the best way to prompt him to say it, Sarah?”
“What?” Sarah asked.
“Say ‘I love you’ first.”
Sarah slumped in her seat. “Not tonight. If the feeling’s not mutual, I’m not ready to get rejected the night of my birthday.”
*****
“Wow, nice,” Ash murmured as he slowed the car to a stop at the front entrance of the hotel. A valet opened Sarah’s door and she got out gingerly, mindful of her high, high heels and short, tight dress.
“You want to change your shoes? You should do it now before they park the car away,” Ash asked in a low voice beside her.
“Uh, no. I think I’ll be all right,” she said. She did grab onto Ash’s arm to make sure she kept her balance. With her nerves zinging uncontrollably, she didn’t trust that she could walk with grace unaided.
“Hey guys!” Brenna cried from the threshold.
“Hi Bren!” they responded.
Ash’s stride got longer and Sarah found herself being dragged.
“Slow down, Ash. You’re walking too fast,” she said, clutching Ash’s arm tighter. Why the hell did she think she could carry off wearing these fashionable but utterly and ridiculously high stilettos?
“Fast? You’re walking too slow,” Ash complained.
“We’ll get there soon enough,” she retorted.
“You should have changed your shoes.”
“Happy birthday, darling!” Brenna said, meeting them halfway.
“Thanks, Bren,” Sarah said, letting go of Ash to hug her friend. “Have you enjoyed this week?”
“Yes. But it would have been more fun if you and Amanda were here.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Glad you guys are here now.”
“Hey, don’t I get a hug?” Ash said.
“Of course you do, sweetie,” Brenna said, reaching for Ash. “Haven’t seen you for a while. Where’s your girlfriend?”
“Gone.”
“Really? Why?”
“I’ll tell you later. Let me escort the birthday girl inside first,” he said, holding his arm out for Sarah again.
“Wow, Sarah. I just noticed how high and pointy those heels are. They’re killers,” Brenna said.
“Tell me about it,” Sarah muttered.
Ash snorted. “That’s what you get for wanting to impress Jeffrey Carmichael.”
“Is he here already?” Sarah asked Brenna.
“Yes, he’s here already.”
Sarah gulped and tried to look nonchalant as they made their way inside.
Ash patted her hand that was on his arm. “You’ll be fine, Sarah. Your adopted big brother’s here with all your best friends,” he whispered encouragingly.
Sarah smiled up at him and dipped her head on his shoulder gratefully. Yes, her friends were all here for her. So she should be for them as well, especially Rebecca. That meant looking happy and relaxed, even if she was as nervous as hell about seeing Jeff again.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jeff stood stock-still by the window of a dark billiards room. He watched as an absolutely stunning Sarah clung to another man as they made their way inside the hotel.
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