The List

by Alice Ward

  “Come on in,” I told him, waving a hand toward the sofa. “I’ll explain everything once Davis arrives.”

  To my relief, Julian stepped over to a nervous looking Riley and stuck out his hand. “It’s good to see you again. Under better circumstances this time.”

  Riley blinked and pressed her palm against his. “You too. And thank you again for your help in getting me off the boat. It was stupid of me to poke a sleeping bear like that.”

  Julian chuckled. “Stupid and brave are too closely connected sometimes to know which is which. You did what you thought you needed to do. I can’t say I would have done anything different. If I were you, I’d—”

  “Hey now,” I interrupted. “Don’t be giving her any ideas.”

  The two were still chatting when the door opened and Davis stepped inside. With a similar reaction as Julian, Davis frowned but looked more curious than angry as he exchanged a few pleasantries with Riley.

  “So, what’s up?” Davis asked, and three sets of eyes turned toward me. Over my career, I’d led hundreds of meetings, brokered multimillion-dollar deals, even served as a keynote to a crowd of over two thousand people. But I’d never been more terrified of opening my mouth than in the presence of three of the most important people in my life.

  “I love her,” I blurted then slammed a hand against my forehead. I sounded like idiot who had swallowed a first-rate dork. I felt my face grow hot, but I plowed on, even in the presence of Julian and Davis’ shit-eating grins. “I do. I love her, and I want to do something to prove how much.”

  Julian looked confused. “Well, do it. Why tell us?”

  “Because it doesn’t involve just me.” I blew out a breath. “As you both know, Seth told Riley about the list…”

  “The little fucker,” Davis muttered under his breath.

  “…and as you can imagine, the concept of said list is offensive to Riley. And honestly, after giving it a great deal of thought, I’m not proud of it either.”

  “It’s not illegal,” Davis said, louder this time, looking defensive.

  I held up a hand. “No, it’s not illegal, and it’s also not something we want broadcasted, which means it teeters on the lines of moral.”

  Riley scoffed and all eyes turned to her. She blushed but lifted her chin. “It’s about a hundred miles south of the line of morality, in my opinion.”

  “Let’s get rid of it,” Julian offered, and my jaw sagged. “Seriously. It was fun while we were in our twenties, but now…” he shrugged. “When was the last time you accessed the list?”

  We stared at each other. Clearly, I wasn’t about to offer an answer to that question, and it didn’t look like the other guys were going to fess up either.

  Riley rolled her eyes. “What? So now you three are a bunch of choir boys?”

  I smirked, keeping my mouth firmly shut.

  “Besides…” Julian added, looking down at his hands, “I’ve met someone who might be special too.”

  I stared at him, remembering the blonde, and nodded. “So, the timing is good, Julian?”

  He looked up at me, a bit sheepish. “Yeah. Let’s scrub the past.”

  Davis lifted a shoulder and grinned. “Seth is going to flip. So, let’s do it. One less thing the turd can fuck up for all of us.”

  As I stood there, I felt blessed for the first time in… ever. Sure, I’d felt successful in the past. I’d felt lucky. Even fortunate, but never blessed. I’d never felt as if I actually deserved the good things in my life. I wasn’t sure if it was the frightening and uncertain environment I’d grown up in that had fucked me up, or my insistence at keeping people at arm’s length that made relationships so hard for me. But whatever it was, it no longer mattered. I had good friends. I had a successful business. I had a woman who loved me. A woman I loved in return.

  As I watched Davis, Julian, and Riley walk over to the laptop that contained the encrypted file… as I watched Julian explain to Riley the combination of tools he would use to scrub the file clean from the hard drive forever… as I listened to the computer run the software that would remove the past from our futures, I smiled.

  Maybe I wasn’t such a fuck up after all.

  ***

  Riley woke up as I carried her through the lobby. She blinked in confusion and gazed up at me.

  “You fell asleep in the car,” I explained with a chuckle.

  She rubbed her eyes. “Yeah, I was tired. You can put me down.”

  “I think I like you right where you are.”

  She grinned wide and wrapped her hands around my neck. “Oh, really?”

  “I’m not working today,” I announced as we entered the elevator.

  “Maybe you should. I mean, you should do everything like you normally do, so that nothing looks suspicious to Seth.”

  “Yesterday wasn’t a normal day though. My girlfriend was kidnapped.”

  Riley’s smile became even bigger. “I like hearing that.”

  “That you were kidnapped?” I teased.

  “No, jerk,” she laughed. “That I’m your girlfriend.”

  I rolled the word over and over in my head. I’d never used it before. I’d always had negative connotations associated with it. Saying it in reference to Riley, though, felt right. “I like saying it.”

  The elevator doors opened, and a man and woman got on at floor twelve. Riley squirmed in my arms, clearly wanting to get down, but I held onto her tighter. The couple got off after a few floors. The second the doors closed behind them, Riley huffed.

  “Xavier! That was so embarrassing!”

  I grinned. “I think you liked it.”

  “No,” she said around a wave of laughter. “I did not!”

  I let her down once we were in the penthouse. Her feet and purse hit the floor, the prior making a loud thump. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pressed my face into the top of her head. “Are you working today?”

  “I’m scheduled to be on at five.”

  “Call out. Tell them something came up.”

  She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know…”

  I lifted her hair up and let it slowly fall back down her neck. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

  I could feel the shiver running through her. “All right,” she said on a long sign. “I’ll call out. But I can’t be doing this all the time.”

  “I know.”

  “How about some brunch?” I asked.

  Her smile lit up the room. “That sounds nice.”

  I looped my arm over her shoulder and steered her toward the kitchen. “Come on. I think I have all the ingredients to make omelets.”

  Riley laughed. “You cook?”

  “Barely. I’m afraid this will need to be a joint effort.”

  I pulled the ingredients out of the fridge and Riley got to work sorting everything while heating up a pan. She put me on dicing duty, her words snappy and quick, like she was the chef of my kitchen.

  “You’re good at this,” I told her.

  “I just want to make it right,” she answered sheepishly.

  “With you taking charge, this will be the best omelet New York has ever seen.” I reached over and slapped her on the butt.

  “Hey! I’m whisking eggs over here.”

  I winked at her. “I’ll try to be good. No promises though.”

  I paid attention to the pepper and onion in front of me, cutting them up into little squares, as per Riley’s instructions. She dumped them into the pan, and the delicious smell of frying veggies filled the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around Riley and pressed my hips into her back as she worked at the stove. Now that she was fully mine, I couldn’t get over touching her. Each time I had an urge to press my skin against hers, I just did it. It seemed so simple and so perfect.

  Everything about this new stage of my life seemed simple and perfect. Since Riley, I hadn’t cared about things in the way that I used to. For the first time, I realized how little I truly needed. Like that list. I hadn’t been plannin
g on continuing to use it myself, but I’d figured letting it exist wouldn’t be doing too much damage.

  But I was wrong about that. And, once again, Riley was right. It was good we had destroyed the list. Not just for us, but for everyone involved.

  We sat down and ate our meal together. It was actually fun, as we talked about topics normal couples probably did. We talked about her school. My work. Both of our hopes and dreams.

  And when I made love to her later, it was with a sweet freedom I’d never experienced before. It was funny how I’d never realized how trapped I’d felt in the life I’d built around me.

  CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

  Riley

  Ann-Marie slurped away at her iced latte, her lips puckered tight around the straw and her eyes wide. She looked like she was listening to the most amazing story that was ever told in the history of mankind.

  “You can’t tell anyone,” I said. “Not a single person. Don’t even write about this in your diary. The list needs to be gone and forgotten.”

  She nodded eagerly. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. It’s really cool that he did that for you.”

  “I know,” I murmured.

  “I think this guy is legit. He actually loves you.”

  Pleasure swooped through me, and I buried my face in my hands to hide my blush. “I really love him. It’s almost stupid how much I do, especially so soon.”

  “At least you two are admitting it now.”

  “Yeah, with no help from you.”

  Ann-Marie’s jaw dropped. “Hey! I was trying to protect your ass. And apparently, my efforts were in vain. You went on that yacht even though I told you it was a bad idea.”

  “I know. And I’m kidding. Don’t be mad.” I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “You’re the best friend ever. And it was a stupid idea. I promise to listen in the future.”

  She squeezed me back. “Maybe you and Xavier can name your first kid after me. Hey, I gotta run. See you tonight?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “That’s right.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re in love now. All right. Well, just remember you can come home when you and Xavier have your first real fight.”

  I laughed. “That’s already happened.”

  “Second fight then. I’ll see you for an HBO and pizza night when you and Xavier have your second fight.” She grabbed her bag and stood up. “With ice cream.”

  I gave her a little salute. “I’ll be home soon. I promise.”

  “Good. I would get too lonely if you moved in with your new boyfriend.” She blew me a kiss and left the coffee shop. I finished up the rest of my coffee and headed out onto the street. In my purse’s side pocket, my phone buzzed.

  I looked at the screen to discover a text from Xavier: I miss you.

  I laughed and typed back a response. I’m coming back your way now.

  The trek back to Xavier’s building felt more like I was gliding on water rather than walking on pavement. I had spring fever when the summer was almost over. I had that insta-love sensation you get when your crush kisses you for the first time. I was on top of the world, and nothing could bring me down.

  Except for the person I ran into in front of Xavier’s building. As if Seth felt my eyes on his profile, he stopped walking and turned to look at me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, stopping out of arm’s reach of him. I folded my arms across my chest, instantly going into defensive mode.

  “I should ask you the same thing. Going upstairs for a little hookup, are you?”

  The words cut deeper than they should have. Seth didn’t really know me, but that didn’t stop his callous remark from hitting home. “Is Xavier expecting you?” I volleyed back.

  “Yeah, as a matter of fact, he is.”

  I could tell by the way his eye twitched that he was lying. Also, no way would Xavier have Seth and I come over at the same time. Not after what happened on Seth’s yacht.

  “Go home, Seth. Go rest your head. I heard you hit it pretty hard.”

  He puffed up, his chest seeming to fill with air. “You’re playing with fire, girl. Do you get that I can destroy you? With one tweet, I can have everyone in this city knowing what a whore you are. Xavier won’t keep a girl with a slut reputation around. Sorry. That’s just the way it is in our world.”

  Anger like I’d never felt coursed through me. Before I knew it, I was stepping forward and ended up a breath away from Seth. He was only a few inches taller than me, so all I had to do to look into his eyes was lift my chin. “Don’t come here ever again. Don’t bother Xavier and don’t talk to me. If you do, I’m reporting you for sexual harassment.”

  His upper lip curled. “I didn’t do anything to you. I just touched your arm.”

  “That’s not how I remember it.”

  A long moment passed as we stared each other down. Seth took a step back and shook his head. “You’re a crazy bitch.”

  “I’m glad you think so. Maybe that means you’ll take my threat to heart.”

  With that, I marched into the building. The doorman from yesterday was back. He tipped his hat and winked at me, and I gave him a big smile.

  Three seconds after I closed Xavier’s penthouse door behind me, he appeared. “Where were you?”

  “Just out. I saw Ann-Marie. Oh, and Seth.”

  “Seth?”

  I pressed my palm against his chest in an attempt to calm him down. “It’s okay. I just ran into him in front of your building. He was coming up here to talk to you. I basically told him to leave us alone or else I would file a sexual assault report against him.”

  “You should do that anyway,” Xavier said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

  “I think he took what I said to heart. He’s going to leave us alone… hopefully.”

  Xavier wound his fingers in mine. “So, you really told Seth to fuck off?”

  I snorted. “I didn’t use that exact word… but I did get up in his face. I don’t know what came over me. I just couldn’t stand the sound of his voice, or what he was saying about you and me, and the next thing I knew, I was inches away from him.”

  Xavier laughed. “I might need to teach you how to fight. Now that your attitude is coming out, you’ll have to learn how to defend yourself.”

  “Nu-uh. No thanks. No fighting for me. I just want to bake cupcakes and lay around naked with you. That’s about where my life goals end.”

  Xavier cocked his head. “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really,” I answered, lowering my voice. I leaned in closer and lifted my face. His hand pressed into the small of my back, the place where it fit perfectly, and his breath washed across my nose and mouth.

  “You’re in luck,” he whispered. He dipped his face and trailed his nose along my cheek and ear. His teeth snatched my earlobe and tugged slightly. A delicious shiver ran through me. Fire ignited in my core, sending my body temperature soaring.

  “Oh, yeah?” I managed to ask, my words sounding more like a moan than discernible English.

  “Yeah,” he whispered into my ear. “Because I happen to have some cake mix in the kitchen right now.”

  “Xavier!” I swatted his shoulder. “You just got me all worked up.”

  He tightened his hands against my back and pressed me into his hips. “Oh, don’t worry. I was planning on eating the cake batter off you.”

  With one swift move, he lifted me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I squealed with surprise and pleasure. “Xavier!”

  He didn’t respond, just slapped my ass and carried me to the bedroom. I fell onto the bed and bounced against the mattress, my dress flying up around my waist. Xavier didn’t hesitate. His clothes were off in what seemed to be an impossible amount of time. Within seconds, he’d pulled my dress off and thrown himself down onto the bed.

  We rolled across the comforter, first his weight on me, then mine on him, then his on me again. Our hands tangled up in each other’s hair, and our hips pressed hard together. Our
tongues fell into their familiar rhythm, giving everything they had to each other.

  I was already soaking wet, ready to accept Xavier inside of me. I reached down and ran my hand over his length. His cock jerked against my palm, warm and soft as velvet. Eagerly, I guided it toward my opening. With a forceful thrust, Xavier entered me.

  He filled me completely, his thick girth claiming every inch. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my nails into his back, holding onto him as tight as I could. Xavier slipped his hands under my ass and lifted me, the angle sending him deeper, each thrust hitting the end of me. Pleasure swirled through every cell, and I closed my eyes and released myself to it. I came with a crazed intensity, my nails cutting into Xavier’s shoulder while his mouth sucked on mine.

  With a few more pulses, Xavier roared through his own release, his hips pounding into me one last time. I held him as he filled me, groaning my name over and over. I took his full weight when he collapsed, his breath warm on my cheek.

  “I love you, Riley.”

  I smiled. “I loved you too.” Holding him tighter against me, I added, “That was almost perfect.”

  “Almost perfect?” Xavier lifted his head to look at me, an offended look staining his beautiful features.

  “Well, yeah,” I innocently said. “There was no cake batter.”

  A slow smile stretched across his face. “I didn’t say I was done yet.”

  I laughed softly. “You’re not?”

  He rolled over, pulling me on top of him. “Hell no. Now get your ass in that kitchen for round two.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

  Xavier

  Riley slept on her side, the sheet half-covering her nude body. Her shoulders rose and fell as she took in slow, languid breaths. Reaching over, I pulled the sheet up and tucked it under her chin. She didn’t move. She was lost in her slumber, adrift in a world of dreams. I hoped they were good ones, and I hoped at least one of them was about me.

  With her taken care of, I sat up on my side of the bed and stared at one of the slats in the half-closed blinds. How did everything change so quickly? A few months before I was going about business as usual, clocking in sixty to seventy hours a week and enjoying a fling here and there, always with whoever the girl of the moment was. And now everything was different. The list was gone and my habit of fighting in the club’s alley as good as dead. Those things had been replaced with something better. Now, I cared about a woman for the first real time in my life. She was mine. It was my job to protect her and keep her happy.