Jase

by MariaLisa deMora

  “Baby, it’s always been twenty-two, and you know it’s never been an issue. We talked about this. What happened? What made you change your thinking?” He was tense as he asked the questions.

  “I was talking to Maggie, Bear’s mom. She laughed and talked about him still being like a kid, and one day, I realized he’s older than you are, while she and I are nearly the same age.” She shrugged.

  “Hold on. She’s not much behind Tug; Maggie has to be several years older than you are. What exactly did she say that put you on edge?” He sounded frustrated and she didn’t blame him. He had reassured her repeatedly that age was only a number, and not once had he made her feel like the difference in years was the problem for him it clearly was for her.

  “It wasn’t anything she meant to say. We were sitting in the hospital with Ruby, and someone started a round of ‘where were you when’, just reminiscing. We went through significant dates like the Oklahoma City bombing in ’95, 9/11, things like that. Then she asked where I was in 1976, the bi-centennial. I was fourteen and still lived at home in Kentucky. Turns out, that’s the year Bear was born.”

  “Then someone mentioned that Mica was born in ‘84 and I realized you two were the same age. Once I started doing the math, I couldn’t stop. I moved to Fort Wayne in ‘78, so Winger and I had already been together for six years when you were born. I literally could be your mother. Hell, Mason is ten years younger than I am. I remember when he was born. I wiped that man’s snotty nose, and he was twelve when you were born.”

  “Jase, baby, watching Bear and Eddie, I realized you should be with someone you can discover life with, not someone who’s already been there, done that. Someone you can build a life alongside, without worrying about having to take care of them in twenty or thirty years.” Her shoulders hitched with an unvoiced sob.

  “You deserve to be with someone who can give you a family, someone you can be proud to take home and introduce to your parents, your brothers, and your friends. You deserve so much more than I can offer. I knew you wouldn’t listen, so I made you a way out, a chance to discover someone better suited.” Her body shook with the strain of holding back her tears.

  “Are you done?” he asked quietly after they sat through a long, silent pause. He had been tightening underneath her as she spoke, and was now nearly vibrating with some emotion she couldn’t define. She nodded, feeling the heat of his chest on her cheek.

  “Okay.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “First off, I didn’t want a way out. I never asked for a way out. I’ve been trying for months to find a way back in. I want back in, baby.”

  His thighs tensed underneath her legs and his arms contracted around her, his body reacting to what he was saying. “Second, and I’ve told you this before, but it must not be sinking in. I don’t want kids. I never have. I don’t have any kind of pull to have baby Jases running around. My brothers have had plenty of offspring to carry on the family name, but I have no desire to follow along. I like kids, love ‘em. Don’t mind being around ‘em. I like teaching them, being a mentor, but I don’t need to have my own.

  “Third, it would be my great pleasure to take care of you for the rest of my life. Not a worry, not a bother, never a burden—an honor. It would be my privilege, baby.” She shifted slightly and his arms tightened again. “Shhhh. Just listen, please.

  “Fourth, I am proud of you. I’d love nothing more than to take you to Red Deer right now, tonight, so I can introduce you to my folks. Anywhere, everywhere…I am proud to have you on my arm, standing beside me…proud for people to see me with you. I want you, and I don’t care who knows it, eh?

  “Fifth, the age difference does not matter to me at all. I get that it is a big deal for you, something I’ve tried to understand, but it’s hard, because it’s not even on my radar. DeeDee, months ago, when you finally let me in, I didn’t communicate well enough how I feel about you. I think I was afraid of pushing you away, but that happened anyway, and I never got the chance to tell you.”

  He kissed the top of her head, then her temple, wrapping himself around her as she balanced on his lap. “I think about you all the time. I wake up from dreams of you—of us. I’ve never dreamed of anyone before you. I need you, baby. You are all I need, just you.”

  He kissed her again, his hand trailing up her side from where it had been resting on her hip. “Everything about you thrills me, makes me excited. Top of the mountain. Je t’aime, baby. I love you.” She stopped breathing at those words.

  “More than I can say, more than I can explain. You are it for me. Everything, baby, you are everything. I let you walk away twice now, but you never left my heart. I’ve loved you nearly since I met you, and every time we’re together, it grows deeper and stronger. I want you. I love you. I need your light in my days, and I can’t let you go, baby. I can’t. Not and keep breathing. You belong with me. Let me stay where I belong.”

  They sat there in silence for a long time after he finished speaking, listening as Ruby and Slate moved around in the other rooms of the condo. He had been so eloquent; she didn’t know what to say in response after he so effortlessly negated her argument. His pain had been communicated in tone and words, and she hated that she hurt them both in what seemed now like a misguided effort to do right by him.

  She had a thousand questions. What would his parents honestly think about him dating a woman twenty-two years his senior? Would his friends think her a monster, someone taking advantage of him? A cougar? What would his brothers and sister think? Could she face them? Okay, looks more like five questions.

  As her thoughts calmed, winding down, she realized her fears were all about the opinions of his family and friends, which for her were the unknown pieces of the equation. If he was confident, then she needed to trust that he would be okay with their reactions. She already knew everyone important in her life was okay with this relationship. Actually, they were not only okay with it, but had actively encouraged things. Just look at what Slate and Ruby had done today.

  None of her family or friends believed the age difference was a barrier; none of them saw anything other than two people who loved each other. I love him, she suddenly thought, smiling against his chest. She registered movement under her hands, realizing that while she was thinking, he had begun to shudder irregularly.

  Looking up, she saw tear tracks on his face, his eyes clenched tightly closed. He licked his lips and told her in a raspy voice thick with emotion, “Just give me a minute. I’ll let you go. One minute more, okay?”

  “Don’t let me go,” she said, pulling his head down to kiss him as his eyes flew open wide. “I’ve been a fool. Jase, you’re not alone. I love you.”

  ***

  DeeDee smiled to herself as she ran her fingertips across her still swollen lips, remembering how this morning Jase had come back again and again for a series of goodbye kisses before he finally left for practice. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her kisses and body, and she reveled in the attention and love he showered on her.

  Yesterday, it had been hours before they had surfaced from the bedroom to find Slate and Ruby had finished the move and left them alone. The only boxes remaining to be unpacked were labeled ‘bedroom’ and stood neatly stacked in the hallway outside her door. Jase’s truck was locked in the driveway, and the keys laid on the dining room table.

  In the kitchen, DeeDee had made a plate of food while Jase distracted her, hugging her from behind and dropping butterfly-soft kisses on her neck and shoulders. Laughing, he grabbed bottles of water and followed her back into the bedroom, where they shared kisses while feeding each other, nibbling on fingertips and lips.

  When they finally slept, his arm stayed wrapped possessively around her waist; even in his sleep, he tugged her back against his side every time she moved. She had woken this morning to his fingers stroking her slowly while he eased her into the day with a sensual touch, bringing her to a shuddering, lingering orgasm in minutes. Lying close beside her, he dragged his fingertips acro
ss her ribs and belly, caressing her breasts as she shivered, drifting back down from the heights to which he had driven her.

  Once she was coherent again, he leaned in and kissed her deeply, moving to lie between her thighs, her hips cradling him. “DeeDee,” he said, reaching between them to line himself up with her opening. He paused on the brink of entering her and she opened her eyes, looking up at him. “I love you.” Sliding deeply into her with one long, slow stroke, his eyes held hers and she felt incredibly desired, wanted…cherished by him as they made love.

  ***

  “So what did you guys finally decide to name the rugrat?” Jase balanced the phone on his shoulder as he threw clothes into a bag. Tridents had a short out-and-back road trip to Wheeling, so he would be packing light. On the phone, he heard a short, sharp cry that sounded like a very pissed-off cat, followed by noises in the background. “You didn’t go with Jason Mason, did you? Mason was right, that really does sound like a serial killer’s name.”

  “No, we didn’t name him after you. We decided we loved him too much to do that to him.” Daniel’s voice sounded tired, he thought, listening to his friend talk about his son, born just yesterday. “Jonathan Mason Rupert,” pride swelled in his tone and brought a smile to Jase’s face. “He’s so perfect, I can’t get over how it makes me feel. I was a basket case, but Mica was so strong, so brave.”

  “So everyone’s healthy, wealthy, and wise?” Carrying the bag to the bathroom, he stood for a minute and looked around, noting for the first time the differences between his apartment and DeeDee’s. After only a couple of days, she had personal things everywhere. Touches that made it feel like a home. He stuck his head back into the bedroom and scanned the walls, furniture, shaking his head. Rented everything, no pictures on the walls, nothing of him on display. This was how he had lived since he left his parents’ home for juniors. Never settled, nothing that couldn’t be packed into a couple of bags.

  “Yeah, probably take them both home tomorrow,” Daniel said, and there were more noises in the background. “Hang on,” he heard, then away from the phone, “Road Runner, you’re spoiling her.” Light laughter sounded, then a rumbling voice saying, “She’s worth spoiling, Danny Boy.”

  Jase laughed, and then asked, “What did he bring her?”

  Daniel relayed the question, and Jase heard the response from the biker cum chef, “Boneless, skinless chicken rubbed with mustard and parsley, roasted and served with a peppercorn-brandy sauce. Tasty for the pretty Mama, but bland enough that it won’t bother the bitty boy’s tummy.”

  “You still have a full house of black leather?” he asked Daniel. Jase had heard how the Rebels had descended on the hospital when Mica went into labor, and he had heard something else. After Daniel grunted in acknowledgement, he asked, “Was Mason really in the labor room with you two?”

  “Yeah, she wasn’t going anywhere without him,” Daniel said in a tolerant tone and Jase shook his head. Odd ducks, all of them, he thought.

  “Give her a hug and a kiss from me,” he said, and then laughed. “I can’t wait to see little Jon. Congratulations, man. Daddy Daniel and Mommy Mica, you guys make a good pair.” His phone buzzed as he was hanging up, and he looked to see a text canceling the road trip due to bad ice.

  Pleased, because he had been dreading leaving DeeDee for even a single night, he texted back an acknowledgement, then looked around the apartment again. “No reason to spend any time fixing this place up,” he said aloud, “it isn’t where I want to be.”

  ***

  The next few days flowed past in a blur between rekindling her relationship with Jase and tying up the final details for Ruby and Slate’s wedding this weekend. He came to her condo straight from practice every night, and wherever he found her, he swept her into a tight embrace, standing for a long minute with his arms wrapped around her. Slate and Ruby came over for dinner one evening, and the four of them had talked and laughed late into the night. She had been in the kitchen when Ruby approached her, glancing nervously over her shoulder to check on the men.

  “DeeDee,” she said and paused, taking in a deep breath. “You can’t tell Slate.”

  “Tell him what, sweetie?” she asked, rinsing a plate before placing it in the dishwasher.

  Ruby whispered breathily, “—ins.”

  “Hmmm?” DeeDee asked distractedly, her mind already moving ahead to tonight. Jase needed to get to bed earlier than they had been managing. He had a game tomorrow evening, and she would be ferrying the first loads of supplies for the wedding up to Pokagon.

  Ruby reached out and grabbed her shoulders, turning them face-to-face and pushing her forehead against DeeDee’s. Stilling, because the girl had gained her complete and undivided attention, she listened as Ruby repeated herself in a whisper, “Twins.”

  Pulling in a breath to shout her happiness, DeeDee found her mouth covered by Ruby’s strong, tiny hand. “Shhhh. Don’t tell Slate.”

  Shaking off her hand, DeeDee asked, “Why, baby? This is good news, surely?”

  “He’s going to be so freaked out if he knows ahead of time. I want things to be easy for a couple of weeks. I’ll tell him when it’s time—” Ruby’s whisper trailed off as she quickly glanced to where Slate sat talking to Jase.

  “Ruby,” DeeDee said on a sigh. “That man loves you more than he wants to breathe. You can do no wrong in his eyes. What possible reason could you have for keeping this close?”

  Ruby’s eyes dipped then she raised them back up. “Just…don’t tell him. He’ll know soon enough.”

  “Baby, there are different risks with twins. You’ll likely go early, for instance. You’re due in just over eight weeks, and in two days, you’re leaving for the honeymoon. If he doesn’t know, how can he care for all of you like he needs to? If he doesn’t have all the facts, he’s likely to make the wrong decision.” She was frustrated with the girl, but knew she would never do anything to endanger her baby—babies, because she wanted them so badly. “How have you even kept this from him?”

  “He was out west when I had the sonogram, and I told him what he wanted to hear, that our peanut was healthy. He didn’t ask anything else.” She shrugged, reaching a hand down and rubbing her rounded stomach.

  DeeDee pulled Ruby into her arms, whispering into her ear, “Baby girl, if you have these babies in Georgia, I’m gonna be so pissed.” Stepping back, she smiled and asked, “Do you know what you’re having?” Grinning widely, Ruby nodded. “Well? Tell me.”

  Grin still in place, Ruby shook her head and DeeDee groaned.

  ***

  “I want to treat you, take you out. Dinner? Movie? What sounds good?” Sitting on the couch next to her, Jase cocked his head to the side, watching DeeDee’s reaction.

  She yawned and stretched. “Honestly? I’m so tired, Jase. I want to just stay home with you.”

  His face went still and she wondered what she said. They got back yesterday morning from Ruby and Slate’s wedding at Pokagon State Park. It had turned out beautifully, but she was exhausted. With Ruby pregnant, she had taken on most of the planning, and the whole wedding had been a whirlwind of effort, even after asking Maggie and Eddie to help as much as they could stand. Jase was probably bored, because with all the planning, they had been staying home every night the Tridents didn’t have a game.

  “Never mind, Jase. Give me a minute to get ready and we can go wherever you want,” she said. She had begun to stand when his hand landed on her hip, pulling her back to his side.

  “You’re tired. We stay here,” he said, nuzzling the side of her neck with his nose.

  Sighing, she pulled away and moved to face him. “Jase, just give me a minute. Pick a movie and surprise me.”

  Laughing, he gripped her wrists, pushing her body down onto the couch by stretching her arms over her head. Wedging her between his body and the back of the sofa, he gently kissed the tip of her nose. “Do you even know what you said?” he asked.

  “Guess not,” she bantered, loving th
e feel of his weight against her. “Since I don’t know what’s going on now.”

  “You called this our home.” He nuzzled the side of her neck again, nipping and kissing his way up to her earlobe. “Our home,” he repeated, gently kissing her lips, sliding a palm down the inside of one arm, trailing fingertips down to cup her breast. “As in my home, with you.” He moved to cover her, looking down at her with a soft smile. “Je t’aime, DeeDee.”

  ***

  The next morning, she was standing in front of the coffeemaker, waiting for enough of the life-affirming liquid to trickle through the grounds and filter to make it worth her while to steal a cup. Eyes closed, she had leaned one hip against the countertop, making mental lists of things to do that day, when an arm slipped around her waist, tugging her back into a hard, male body. She put her hands back to cup his ass and amended that thought to a hard, naked, male body.

  “Jase,” she said, leaning her head back for a kiss. “Good morning.”

  “Mmmm,” he said, covering her mouth with his, pulling back to murmur a good morning against the side of her head before asking, “What’s on your agenda for today?”

  “Clubhouse, make sure someone’s got the place cleaned up. Head over to Slinky’s; close out the month-end books. Go to the grocery store; pick up something for dinner.” She ticked off her list items on her fingers, laughing when he pulled her hand to his mouth, kissing her fingertips.

  “Sounds busy,” he complained. “Too busy for easy. We both know I’m easy, so that means you’re too busy for me. In fact, there’s no me in there anywhere, and that’s just wrong. I’d like to amend your agenda to include me at some point. Slot me in, baby. My tab in your slot.” He nuzzled along the side of her neck, slipping one hand up to cup her breast beneath the light shirt she slipped on earlier.

  Laughing, she turned in his arms, eyeing the coffeepot wistfully. “What did you have in mind, crazy man?” Pushing backwards off his chest, she levered herself far enough away to grab the mug waiting on the countertop, twisting to pull the pot out and pour coffee into the cup. Bringing it to her lips, she blew softly across the top of the liquid while keeping her gaze on his.