Jase

by MariaLisa deMora

  “Okay, did you guys get socks on today before you put on the shoes?” He looked over his shoulder at the table full of kids eating breakfast. “I’m not even asking for matching socks, eh? Just socks before shoes. Gimme a positive confirmation now, sound off.” He joked with the kids and received a few snickers of laughter from his method of garnering a response.

  “Jase,” DeeDee called from the living room, her voice raised over muted conversation from that direction.

  “Yeah, babe?” he called, closing the lunch bags and lining them up on the floor next to the corresponding child’s book bag. “Lunches are all done; I’ll go online and add money to the high school account once the kids are out the door. We have a serious problem this morning, though. Baby, no one will tell me the state of their feet, whether socked or not. It’s scandalous; I know kids need to wear socks. Hey, did you know that one kids’ store sells socks in three-sock sets? They don’t even try to go for pairs anymore. That’s genius, based on what I’ve experienced over the past few days.

  He sighed. “Socks and bunnies, who knew they could be so hard to find once lost? But I promise Duchess Penelope shall be found.” He put his hand on his chest. “I do hereby pledge to go on a bunny hunt today. Duchess Penny of Notahamburger will be located.” He squatted down, looking through the papers in the little kids’ backpacks to make sure they had all their homework. Straightening, he recognized the voices raised in laughter at the front of the house, and he turned in surprise.

  “Ma!” Striding across the room with arms out, he swept his mother up into a hug then turned to his father. “Da,” he thumped his back and then pulled back, “what are you doing in the States?” He looked back at his mother. “When did you decide to come visit?”

  Without giving her a chance to answer him, he frowned, shaking his head, asking, “Ma, did your phone break again? You need to stop watching those reality shows. They steal all your reason. Then you throw the phone, eh? Your phone musta broke, eh? Otherwise, why would you not have called?” He looked past them to where DeeDee was hovering close behind his mother. When he caught sight of her outstretched arm leading to their linked hands, he smiled, thinking with a silent laugh, Trust Ma to make sure she got her hands on DeeDee right away.

  Stepping towards DeeDee, he deftly unwound their hands, taking both of hers in his. Take the shot, he thought, pulling her in for a soft brush of his lips against hers. Turning her in his arms to face his parents and the suddenly quiet table of kids, he wrapped himself around her, pulling her close and whispering, “Love you, babe. Breathe, okay? It’s all right. It’s only my folks, and according to Ma, they already love you.”

  Her hair teased the side of his face as she nodded, and he let his lips drift across her cheek to her ear. He whispered loudly, “If we run, we can get away. We don’t even have to move fast; Da’s knee is junk, so no way he can keep up with us. Hmm. Maybe he’ll be valuable fodder to have around in a zombie apocalypse, though. Remember what we learned from that show? Keep the country kids around, and you don’t have to be the fastest runner, just not the slowest. Maybe we should stick around, eh? Just in case? Zombies, eh?”

  She laughed aloud at his teasing and he pulled back, pleased with the composure and joy he saw on her features. Between his mother and him, they somehow managed to reassure her enough, giving her confidence in his love for her…in them. He took a deep breath, feeling a tension he didn’t even know he was carrying begin to fall away from him, leaving him feeling light and happy. In his normal voice, he introduced the two sides of his family for the first time. “DeeDee Moser, this is Jacque and Kenny Spencer. Ma and Da, meet the love of my life.” At her inrush of breath, he tightened his arms and shook her lightly, reminding her, “Breathe, baby.”

  Lifting a hand, he pointed at the table. “Rugrats, these are my parents. You can call them…well…basically, anything. Especially Da, he’ll answer to anything, as long as there’s food involved.” The kids laughed, and the littlest girl gave his mother a shy wave before picking up her cereal spoon studiously.

  He gave a brief explanation, figuring they could go into more detail later if needed. “The kids belong to a friend who’s in the hospital, so they’re staying with us for a bit.” He looked at the clock on the microwave. “And if they don’t put a hustle on it, every one of the monsters is going to miss the bus.” He released DeeDee, clapping his hands loudly. “Do not leave this house without socks on your feet. Teeth, hair, clean faces…all are optional. Socks are mandatory. It’s a mandate. A mandatory mandate on tubes of material covering your appendages.”

  DeeDee pushed past him, holding out her hand to Jacque. “Let me show you where you can put your bags.” His mother shook her head at DeeDee, deftly avoiding her hand in order to pull her into a tight embrace. “We’ll stay at a hotel, sweetie, but I can promise you we’ll be here early and late so you can get to know us well. These children are precious.” At a glowering glance from Tyler, she amended her statement, “Precious and devastatingly handsome. Take care of your morning routine. I’m going to make myself at home and get some coffee.” Jase held his breath, watching DeeDee’s arms encircle his mother’s waist passively at first. As she became more convinced the affection was real, her hands moved up Jacque’s back and her shoulders rounded in as she visibly relaxed into his mother’s hug.

  Lips to her ear, his mother whispered something to DeeDee, and he could barely see her lips enough to read, “We already love you. I’m so glad to meet you, sweetheart.”

  ***

  “Oh, shut it, Jase,” his mother said without compassion. He put on a fake-wounded expression.

  “All I asked was if you thought through this plan of yours, Ma. First, you drop in on DeeDee and me without warning, not giving her a chance to think before reacting—”

  His mother interrupted him. “And it’s a good thing we did, isn’t it? She was forced to meet us and accept that what she saw as an enormous barrier in your relationship is less than the smallest bump. If she hadn’t seen it on our faces, she would have continued to wonder if we were paying lip service to liking and accepting her.” She brought her hand up, cupping his jaw.

  “Jase, I understand what you see in her, son. The two of you fit together in a way I never expected. I always wanted you to find someone to love, but didn’t realize the extent of what you’d find, and I am so glad you did. The fit between the two of you is seamless and fine, and I’m happy for both of you.” Her voice changed in tone. “But, I’m not going to let you distract me from my next mission. I haven’t seen my daughter for too long, Jase. I will see her, either here if you call her to come over with her new man, or at his house. The map on my phone says I can be there in about 10 minutes, and I’ll give you half that to help decide how this happens. But, son? I will see her.”

  He looked at his father, leaning against the cabinets on the far side of the kitchen, but the man shook his head. Jase knew he would get no help from that quarter. “Sharon’s different, Ma. She’s changed,” he said, and she nodded.

  “To be expected, she’s grown up on her own, so she’ll be her own person. But underneath that, she’s always going to be my daughter. I’m not looking for the eighteen-year-old girl who struck out on her own, Jase. I’m not stupid. I’m looking to know the woman she’s become, but I can’t do that if I can’t talk to her, see her…listen to her. So call her now, or I’ll just be waiting in their driveway for them to come home.” She placed her balled-up fists on her hips, elbows akimbo. With her head tilted impatiently, all that was missing was the tapping of her toe to complete the impression of anxious frustration.

  “Okay,” he capitulated, making a face, “but we do this my way, okay? I’ll make a couple calls, get the ball rolling, and then Shar gets to say where.” His mother nodded, and he saw his father relax minutely. Pulling out his phone, he called Slate first, explaining the situation and giving him a quick update on Bingo as of this morning. Likely Goose had already checked in, but he felt responsible f
or Bingo and the kids, especially since the man had come to him for help.

  Slate agreed with his plan, so his next call was to Gunny. Since Sharon had healed enough to move, he had kept her with him nearly twenty-four/seven, especially after they were taken. His obsession with her didn’t seem to be easing, but Jase and Slate had talked about it and they agreed that it looked more like a burgeoning relationship than anything else. It was clear to anyone who saw them together that Sharon was comfortable with the man in a way that couldn’t be faked, especially given her recent experiences. Jase shook his head and dialed the phone.

  “Yeah,” came the gruff response, and Jase called the image of Gunny to mind. Tall, at well more than six feet, the man was thick and solid with muscle.

  “Sharon’s parents are in town. They would like to see her. I want to give her the chance to pick the locat—” The call disconnected and he pulled the phone away from his ear, looking down at it in surprise. His service was usually reliable on this side of town, and he never had a call drop in the condo before.

  He dialed the number again and heard a roaring noise he recognized as a motorcycle engine before Gunny said, “We’re on our way.” The call disconnected again, but he grinned this time, turning to see his parents hovering in the kitchen doorway.

  “She’ll be here soon,” he said and watched as his mother covered her mouth with a hand, holding in a sob of relief.

  ***

  Later that night, as he lay in bed beside DeeDee, her head pillowed on his shoulder, there was a quiet stirring in the hallway and he lifted his head, seeing a silhouette in the door. “What is it, kiddo?” he asked, thinking it was one of the seven-year-old twins. When she spoke, he recognized Alicia’s voice.

  “Sissy had an accident.” Her voice was sleepy, but not complaining. Gilda, the youngest, was still trying to stay dry at night, but she was only four.

  “On my way, sweetheart. Do you need a dry nightgown?” he asked, knowing Gilda had probably crawled into bed with the twins when her own bed became uncomfortably cold and wet.

  “Yessir,” she said, yawning.

  DeeDee shifted restlessly in the bed, and he quietly shooed the little girl out of the bedroom and down the hallway. “Let’s get you taken care of. Is Patricia up, too?” He dragged on a shirt and scooped her up, letting her rest against his shoulder as he carried her back to the guest bedroom the girls all shared.

  “Nope,” she drawled, twisting her head to push into his neck trustingly in a way that made his heart stutter a little.

  “Okay,” he said, opening the linen closet and pulling out two sets of sheets. Grabbing the flashlight they left on the hallway table for this purpose, he turned it to the lowest setting before pushing the door wide. Crossing the room, he opened a drawer on the dresser and pulled out a clean nightgown for Alicia. Setting her on the floor, he handed it to her and pointed her in the direction of the Jack and Jill bathroom shared between these two guest bedrooms. “Clean up and change, baby. I’ll have everything in here all fixed up before you know it.”

  “Yessir, Pappa Jase,” she mumbled, and he had to swallow down the emotion that threatened to swamp him at the affectionate name the kids used for him. His nephews always called him Unka Jase, but Pappa Jase took things to an entirely new level.

  He turned to see Gilda curled up on the edge of the twins’ bed and smiled. Picking her up, he swaddled her in a blanket from the foot of the bed and settled her on the floor. Changing the sheet underneath Patricia was tricky without waking her, but he managed, and soon had Alicia tucked back into bed alongside her sister, already beginning to drowse and nod off.

  Changing the sheet on Gilda’s bed, he silently thanked DeeDee for buying the mattress covers. He cleaned the child, changing her clothes and grinning to himself when she failed to wake, rolling limply back and forth as he tugged the nightclothes onto her body. Settling the little girl back into her bed, he had second thoughts and picked her up, carrying her into the bathroom. He set her on the toilet, gently waking her and waiting patiently until she had finished, before scooping her up and carrying her back to bed.

  Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he slowly and gently stroked the child’s back as she relaxed back into sleep, listening as her breathing grew deep and regular. A scuff on the carpeting came from behind him and he looked up, seeing DeeDee standing in the doorway with an odd expression. Tucking the covers around Gilda a little more tightly, he stood and walked to DeeDee, gathering up the soiled sheets and clothing as he went. Holding them in one hand, he reached out the other to wrap around her waist, but she was already moving back up the hallway away from him. What the hell? he thought, opening the closet and depositing the dirty laundry in the basket.

  “Hey,” he said, catching up to DeeDee as she crawled back into bed. She turned her back to him, and a shiver of trepidation crawled up his spine. Moving into place behind her, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, tugging her backwards into him, feeling her shake with what he realized were silenced sobs. He whispered from beside her ear, “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “You’re so good with the kids,” she said, her voice choked and under tight control.

  “They’re pretty easy to take care of. Unlike that damn bunny, but I promise I’m gonna find Penny. There can only be so many false poop trails.” He was hoping to draw a laugh from her, but no luck. Her frame shook as she hiccupped and tried to sniff quietly. Rising on one elbow, he leaned over her, gripping her chin with his hand to bring her face to his. “Talk to me, baby. I can’t know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours without your help.”

  Her voice was quiet and full of love when she said, “You are a perfect father, Jase. Patient, sweet, not squeamish, funny, loving,” she laughed brokenly, “and tidy.” He snorted, and she shook her head. “No, you are. I wish…” Her voice trailed off, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with not completing that thought, because he knew where she was going with this and it was pissing him off.

  “You wish…what, DeeDee?” His voice was firm and she stiffened. “What do you wish, baby?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered, but he shook his head.

  “You do know, baby. Tell me,” he urged. “Talk to me, beautiful; tell me what you’re thinking…what you wish.”

  In a rush, she spoke, her words tumbling over each other, “What do I wish? Oh, baby, I wish I were thirty-two. I wish I could have children. Your children…our children. I don’t understand how life could be so cruel, to position us with more than two decades between us. It’s not the age difference that I hate; it’s the fact I can’t…couldn’t…”

  Her voice trailed off again, but it held the sound of the tears she was trying to hide, turning her head to the side to avoid his gaze. Jase felt a clenching in his chest, so incredibly sad for this woman who had so much love to give, but fate had stepped in to deny that love an adequate outlet.

  “Baby,” he said tenderly, hand cupping her jaw and turning her so he could look into her face. “How can I explain to you? If you want that, it’s for you, not me. And if you want a baby, then we’ll find a way. You’re right. I enjoy being around the kids, and I’m glad we can be here for them, but wanting a baby is not me.” He shook his head then grew still, struck by a thought.

  “Do you love Ruby?” he asked, waiting for her answer.

  “Yes, of course, I do,” she said, frowning up at him.

  “You love her? You’re sure?” he asked again.

  “Yes, Jase. You know I do.” Her frown deepened.

  “But she’s not yours,” he argued lightly, pleased when he saw a wave of anger cross her face.

  “Just because I didn’t birth her, doesn’t mean she’s not mine. She’s my daughter in all the ways that matter, Jase.” She said this tartly, not even realizing she had fallen into his plan.

  “I know,” he breathed, kissing her nose. “She is your daughter. Her babies are yours…ours. Because of love, not birth, sweetheart.”

>   “It’s not the same and you know it.” Now she sounded pissed, and he wasn’t sure what he had stepped in, but it looked to be painful and old, profound in a way that had caused hurt for a long time.

  “If I said I love Tyler, would you tell me I didn’t know what it was like to love a son?” He wasn’t sure this was the question he wanted to ask, because it hinted at how much that kid had gotten under his skin. Hell, all the kids, but he wasn’t yet ready to examine those emotions.

  “But he isn’t yours, Jase. He’s not your blood. For men, it’s different.” She said this with so much authority that if he had been any less sure of how he felt, his faith in himself might have been shaken.

  “Not for me,” he said, shaking his head. “He’s a good kid, sunny disposition, even in the face of overwhelming odds and problems. He’s smart and funny, deeply loyal to his brothers and sisters. He’s exactly what I would want in a son. It doesn’t matter if he has my nose, looks like me, or shares my genes. What matters is the person I could help him become and how he could change me.” He looked at her, raising one eyebrow in question. “Where did you hear that bullshit about ‘for men, it’s different’?”

  There was a pained, guttural sound as her breath caught in her throat, and he suddenly realized what had happened. Before she could say anything, he dragged her against him, holding her close with his arms, legs twining between hers, comforting her with the close press of his entire body against her. “Oh, baby. My love, DeeDee. You wanted to adopt, didn’t you? You wanted kids so badly, a child you could love and raise, a child you could watch grow. A little person. A child you could watch as they developed a sense of self and independence—and Winger didn’t want to, right? He turned down the idea out of hand, because the child wouldn’t be his blood, because he couldn’t see that child as being his.”

  She nodded, arms tight around him and hands fisted in his hair and shirt, drawing him even closer as he continued speaking, “He had Lockee, the perfect combination of him and you, and for him, that was enough. So you made do, right? He probably had no idea how much it hurt you, and being who you are, you made do.”