I should’ve been basking smack dab in the middle of enjoying a romantic moment, but I was preoccupied by my relentless, unwanted “fan”—Rico. I had recorded his last escapade onto a DVD and was pondering how I could use it to clear a way out of the dense forest. What I’d done in the dark couldn’t come to light. I was determined to take the bull by the horns and wrestle it to the arena ground. Innocence was thinking for Leslie, the woman with no game and the plain Jane logic. No matter how crazy things got, Innocence was the captain driving Leslie’s ship, and that kept me able to lie and deceive with a straight face. Call me Sybil, but I never really realized one half of my personality was causing trouble for the other, but it was and would prove to deliver too much unforeseen damage and drama. Looking back, I can’t even count the times it did during my engagement.
“Sometimes you can love someone so much, the words don’t want to come out right,” Trey said. “You know I’m not one to say certain things often, but I’ll try. Let’s figure out what we keep doing wrong. I don’t want to go back to being strangers—I need to pride myself in listening to you, Les. I wanna make up. I wanna be a strong man who can be good to you. I wanna make you the happiest woman you can be. I’m sorry for what things have been like over the last few weeks. I’m also sorry for not putting you first. I’m sorry I messed up your birthday surprise for me. It wasn’t right for me to spend it with my family, then my boys all night—that was poor judgment on my part. All I can tell you is I know what it feels like to really love someone and my feelings couldn’t be any stronger than they are right now. I know it seems as though I’m my family’s yes man, but as the only boy, I am the only help they have.”
“Don’t touch me. Just don’t—get off of me, Trey!” I ran away with tears in my eyes as a nauseous feeling hit my stomach. I suddenly felt dirty from being intimate with so many strangers.
“You okay?” Trey asked as I leaned over the toilet bowl.
“Yeah, I lied. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I know I haven’t been paying you much attention. You look sick, Les. What’s up?”
Unable to speak further, I threw up again. Although I explained it was probably something I ate, Trey insisted on driving me to the hospital. After hours of throwing up, my energy level was shot. My bangs were wet and stuck to my forehead. I felt like I was on my way out. Trey stuck up for me and put his foot down at the hospital. What started out as a three hour wait was reduced to thirty minutes. Trey was taking care of me like a good, strong man would. He was there when I needed him and that counted for so much.
I registered in the hospital, then we waited some more in the back. About ten minutes later, a tall white man came in asking me about my symptoms, what I ate, how I’d been feeling, and if I was under any stress. Before long I was wearing a paper gown, having blood drawn, peeing in small containers, and awaiting test results. Several hours passed and I dozed off somewhere along the way. When I heard footsteps enter the room, my eyes opened. The doctor had returned.
“What is it? What’s wrong with my baby?” Trey asked with sincere concern. His eyes were glossy.
“Well, it seems that your baby is having a baby.”
“What?” he replied, raising his eyebrows.
“You’re going to be parents.” The doctor said, smiling.
Trey was elated—I wasn’t. I knew the baby wasn’t his. He hadn’t even thought about it. As little as we made love, he should have known better. Instead, my super duped fiancé was doing some new daddy jig around the room, pumping his fist in the air.
“Aren’t you happy?” he asked.
“Why should I be? What a disaster! We didn’t plan this.”
“I know we didn’t plan to have a child so soon but this news can’t be anything other than a blessing from God. There are couples who try to get pregnant and can’t. Stop being so irritable. We’re having a baby!” Trey exclaimed, sounding bubbly and cheerful.
I began setting Trey up without his knowledge. “How’s your family going to take this? We’re not married yet. Your family won’t approve of a bastard child.”
“Les, don’t say that. Don’t ruin this moment.”
“It’s true. They already hate me, and they’ll hate my baby. They’ll see me as one who forced you into fatherhood under the wrong circumstances. It’ll be obvious we had sex before getting married when the baby is born so soon. You know they’ll start counting the months.” I crossed my arms like I was in the midst of starting a tantrum.
“What are you saying? You’re talking crazy. We’re talking about a human life here. They’ll all love our baby, even if we obviously had a slip up. If you’re having a baby, it was meant to be, Les. Just let it be.”
After I calmed down the nurse returned with my release papers and some instructions for taking it easy. We walked toward the exit of the hospital. When we reached the car, Trey dropped his head in my lap.
“I know we’ve been having problems, but it will all work out. We’re just both under a lot of pressure, that’s all. Come on Les, hang in there with me. I need you . . . and my baby. You know I’ll be with you, every step of the way.”
I didn’t respond. I knew the baby I was carrying was Rico’s because he and I hadn’t used protection on several occasions since my last cycle. It had been a long day. I just wanted to go home and sleep off a monster headache. I tried to reorganize my thoughts five hundred times, but I kept drawing a blank. In fact, that’s all there was to do.
In a few short hours, Trey had changed for the better. He was waiting on me hand and foot, tending to my every need, and was even spoon feeding me soup. All the while, he kept reminding me how I had to make it a point to watch salt and fat intake in my diet. I was finally coming first in his life and liked how that felt. I rested as I paid attention to what Trey was into. I was just beginning to drift off when I heard a door shut. After that, I heard two of the most familiar males I knew engaged in a conversation.
“Did you find out what’s ailing the wifey?” Rico said in a sensitive voice.
“Well, Rico . . . you’re going to be an uncle.”
“What? No shit, man? You’re really settling down, Trey. We had some wild times together. So you’ve officially turned in your player’s card to have a family, man. How about that shit! Congratulations to you and the queen, hermano! Can I see the proud momma?”
“Let me make sure she’s decent,” I heard Trey comment. “Come on in,” he said.
“I heard the good news, Leslie. This calls for a celebration,” Rico told me as he walked in appearing jovial. “I feel like I should’ve bought some cigars or champagne through the door—now I regret coming over empty handed.”
“I might be able to round up a few cigars,” Trey said.
“Rico, it’s twelve minutes before one o’clock in the morning. What in the hell are you doing here at this hour?” I asked, ignoring his feigned elation.
“Trey didn’t tell you? I’m your new neighbor. I bought the house next door. I saw the light on and came on over.”
“Don’t pay her any mind, bro. Come over whenever you feel moved to make an appearance. I haven’t had a chance to tell her. I’ll be back. I’m going to find something to celebrate two great things.”
Rico walked toward me with an, I’m-going-to-chill-with-ya’ll look on his face. I gulped.
“Get out of my face! Why are you trying to take everything away from me?” I hissed, gritting my teeth.
“So now you’re trying to keep the peace at home, Leslie?” he asked, ignoring me.
“What? Why don’t you get the hell out of my face! My feet are still sore after the mess you pulled.”
“You want me to rub them for you?” he asked, grinning. I spit on him but he just laughed.
“I saw you and my boy acting all lovey dovey with the slow dance,” he said sourly, wiping his face.
I looked puzzled wondering how he knew Trey and I had shared special moments. Even though Rico’s new house was surrounded by acreage wh
ich allowed for some privacy, it was hardly enough. Maybe I could convince Trey to move in my house when we got married, instead of our original plan.
“Some loyalty you have after you’ve been sucking my balls. If I don’t watch you closely, you’ll be giving away my kisses to my boy again. We have one little lover’s quarrel and you go and turn your back on me and lay up in bed at his place? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you are reconsidering a monogamous relationship with Trey, not Rico.”
“Stop this madness and show some respect. As you can see, I’m out of commission now. I’m under the covers to prove it. I’m on a tea and crackers diet because I can’t hold down food.”
“Not exactly. Who said pregnant women don’t crave sex? In the second trimester of pregnancy women seem to really get horny. How do you think you got pregnant in the first place? I think we can safely say that I’ll be a big help to this family. After all, you and I both know you’re carrying my seed. Trey’s out. I’m in. Move next door and break the engagement. Now you have every reason to get with me honestly and openly. Until then, I can show up on your future doorstep anytime I want. Now I don’t have to take a number and wait around. I’ve got a baby in your belly to prove you’re using Trey, and that you truly prefer the backstabbing rude boy over Mr. Manners. We’re two freaky whores who were made for each other. You’re the female version of dirty ass Rico. I own the pussy, Leslie. When you were screaming my name, I made sure I busted a nut up in what now belongs to me. At least you can be confident the baby will come out halfway good looking. If it’s a boy, I’ll be the one to teach him how to play baseball. If it’s a girl, I’ll teach her how to salsa dance someday. I’m a much better dancer than Trey. By my standards, he has two left feet. If only you would give me a chance, I’ll prove Rico is all the man you really need, in every way.”
“I can’t stand another day of this, or of you! You’re sick,” I spat emphatically.
“Maybe so, but I know I’m right. If you’re willing to tell the truth, be my guest. I know I will never feel the need to.” Rico paused. He reached over and rubbed my belly.
“So, will you name the little seed Rico or Trey?” he asked.
I smacked him across the face.
“I have a funny feeling you haven’t quite decided, although it’s going to come out looking like me,” he replied, massaging his reddening skin. “Here’s a perfect example of why whores like you need to tighten up your game by getting on the pill, or being responsible and wrapping it up every time. No harm done though—I love children. If you’re wondering how I knew that my wife-to-be was cheating on me with someone else, it’s because I know women. When the cat is away, the mouse will play. Rico has been watching your every move through a telescope ever since he moved next door. It’s been real entertaining watching you from my bedroom window. Sometimes it turns me on, while other times it makes me mad that you haven’t made that change you need to make. For future reference, try being a little more modest. No more walking around nude in Trey’s spot, especially if you plan on leaving the curtains open now that you’re knocked up by me. I know how much you enjoy being a whore, but it’s no longer appropriate to show Trey and these other men out here what’s between the legs I own. When the phone rings, you better break your neck getting to it. When Trey goes to sleep, I’ll expect my nightly piece of the action.”
“I think you should leave, Rico!”
Trey returned to the room with two stogies. One was already hanging out of his mouth, unlit. Rico grinned as he grabbed his and they exited the bedroom to smoke them outside. Recalling how Rico ribbed Trey was like being stuck in traffic and not being able to move. I hated our best man and wanted to expose his evil ways, but there was nothing I could say or do because technically he had Leslie on blackmail lock. Everything I wanted was unfolding with the wrong man. Right then I planned to have an abortion and pretend that a miscarriage was the cause for me not giving birth.
After Rico left, Trey called everyone he knew until three o’clock in the morning to tell them the big news. My heart sank for him as he ran up his long distance bill. Obviously I’d stepped on a grenade by not having safe sex while cheating with the enemy. Rico was right. He didn’t trap me into motherhood. I brought that on myself. Now I would suffer the consequences of getting off unprotected.
It was time for me to put my foot down with my lover, my stalker, and my baby’s wicked daddy. I was tired of bracing for more stressful days ahead. I had to make a major move and do something—maybe even an intense smear campaign. Innocence had officially been pushed to the edge of her sanity.
15
The Big Twist
I’d been sick in bed and couldn’t seem to encourage my limbs to move or wake up my body, nor did I feel like beginning a new day. I was so sick when I woke up that I couldn’t read the alarm clock. I held my head up and looked around my bed. Everything was blurry, even after I put my glasses on my face. I felt nauseous and that gave me a clue that my vision had nothing to do with the matter. It was definitely my pregnancy that was making me feel badly.
There was a lot of work to be done and Trey stepped up to the plate. He started remembering to pay attention to what I said and treated my words as if they were sacred. With me not feeling well, I could only do so much on schedule. My body seemed to have a mind of its own, but there was nothing I could do about it except pass the torch of wedding errands over to my future other half.
It was Trey who met with the minister to discuss the service, sent in my change-of-address information to the post office, picked up the wedding programs, and delivered the final deposits. All of the girlie duties fell in his lap, but he didn’t complain even once. Who would’ve guessed he would hang in there like a super duper trooper and not get wrapped up in woman’s work stereotypes?
Since Trey seemed to really open up his heart, we started doing everything together, and my fiancé gave me the best of everything. He started coming straight home from work, and even started cooking dinner and doing the laundry. Freshly cut flowers sat in a vase, and he started to remind me how loved I was as often as he could. Trey’s sense of humor came back and he even began telling me jokes. I discovered he was hysterically funny. Fatherhood was changing Trey, but I wasn’t assured that his actions were real. I couldn’t buy into any of it since I didn’t plan on being preggers for long. Plus, it was only days before the wedding. I still hadn’t brought up the issue of trying to convince Trey to move in with me. Peace was a nice change of pace. At that time, I didn’t feel like rocking the boat anymore.
After I peeled myself out of bed one early afternoon, I checked my to do list since there were a few things I had to handle solo. I had to give a list of “important shots” to our wedding photographer. I’d heard too many horror stories about so-called professional photographers who should’ve known when to take what, so I wanted to remind the brother that I meant business. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I’d put a stop on the final check payment. I also had to book my hairstylist and makeup artist. Meeting with both of the flaming gay men to experiment with styles and colors included a dry run by doing my hair and making up my face. Like I said, I wanted my day to be as perfect as it could be with no undue surprises. My last issue was—ahem—scheduling a much-needed abortion appointment.
I forced myself to dress and was about to grab my keys when I heard my fax machine sound. It was an undesired love note from Rico. The “fan mail” was unsigned of course, but I knew who would make me regret that my number was unlisted, and it wasn’t Tanya the hot fot. I hadn’t heard from her in some time. Given her angry state of mind, I expected anything. . .
Something told me to check my email, so I did just that. After I logged online, I found out my email box was full with hate mail—sixty messages reminding me that Rico was watching me and following his “future wife.” I decided to put dealing with my stalker at the top of my list. It was time to go toe-to-toe with him, or better yet, cut off his whole foot.
I looked up t
he bar associations code of professional conduct to get my juices flowing. I typed lawyer’s standard of moral conduct into the search engine box. The results yielded a link, displaying a headline that read: KANSAS SUPREME COURT RULES FOR DISCIPLINING ATTORNEYS.
A lawyer’s conduct should always conform to specific legal standards of the law, both in serving clients professionally and when engaged in business and personal affairs. A lawyer should utilize the law’s procedures only for legitimate purposes and not to harass or intimidate others. A lawyer should exhibit respect for the legal system and for those who serve it, including judges, other lawyers and public officials. It is a lawyer’s duty to challenge the rectitude of official action, but it is also to properly uphold the legal process.
After reading that legal mumbo jumbo I got a hell of an idea—mail the DVD I’d made to the Maryland Bar Association with a letter explaining that Rico was harassing me and also appear blameless by not signing my name. Since I had some technical skills working for me, I’d been able to edit and splice in the scene where Rico made me beg on my knees for the cops not to have sex with me any longer as well as him enjoying getting vertical with a transsexual.
I found the link for the Maryland Bar Association, clicked on the “contact us” button, and up popped the address and phone number. That piece of information was all I needed to get a stinking pot of shit brewing. To add insult to injury, I looked up the magistrate judges in Maryland then printed off the names of the Southern, Northern, and Eastern Division. Now, Rico would play my way, or all of his colleagues would know what sort of sick man was supposedly upholding the law. I placed a call to him to start reporting my findings, little by little.
“Would you prefer to be reprimanded, suspended, or disbarred? Take your pick, but make it quick,” I said casually.
“What are you talking about?”
“The big twist. You know, community service, cleaning parks, jail time, fines, getting in an unemployment line. I’m talking about your future. Aren’t you listening, Rico?” He remained silent but I knew he was listening. “You don’t have me wrapped around your finger, and you haven’t been thinking about us. You’ve been thinking of yourself, and I thought now would be the ideal time to let you know what I’ve decided. I’m sorry if I’m offending you but this is just the way it is. I could always tack on filing a petition in District Court for a peace order. It would be good for six months. I do my homework. Swing, batter, batter, swing! One point for Leslie.”
Nympho Page 14