by Marci Bolden
Copyright © 2019 by Marci Bolden
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Cover design by Okay Creations
ebook layout by Lori Colbeck
mobi ISBN-13: 978-1-950348-11-4
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Epilogue
Continue the Stonehill Series
Stonehill Series Book Five
Also by Marci Bolden
About the Author
Prologue
As the candles on her birthday cake flickered, Jessica Martinson-Canton closed her eyes. Eleven. Eleven candles meant this wish would be even stronger than all the others. She took a breath and asked for the same thing she’d wanted for as long as she could remember—I wish I had a mom.
She opened her eyes and blew out the candles with one big breath.
Everyone cheered as if she’d done something great. She wasn’t sure if that was because she was the only kid in the family—the only biological kid anyway; there were plenty of what her dad called “Grandma’s strays”—or if they were overreacting because she had Down syndrome. Blowing out birthday candles didn’t really call for applause, but they were as excited now as they had been when she’d performed in the school play. She’d been a tree, just like Jasper Townsend—the girl who moved to Stonehill from someplace far away and couldn’t speak English very well yet.
Since they were trees, neither of them said any lines, but they did get to change costumes because each act was a new season. That was fun. Even though they didn’t really understand each other, they had giggled at how they had to hurry up and take off one tree and put on another.
Her grandpa had said Jessica was a natural actress. Jessica thought he was doing what her dad called blowing smoke, which she’d figured out meant someone was lying just to be nice. Her grandma did that a lot, too, but Jessica didn’t mind because when her grandparents said nice things, they made her heart feel good.
Her mom had left when Jessica was a baby. Her dad always tried to make up excuses why, but Jessica was smart enough to know the truth. Her mom didn’t want a baby with Down syndrome. If Jessica thought about that too much, she’d feel so sad she’d cry, so she tried to always focus on the good things.
Besides, after her mom left, Grandma took care of Jessica while her dad finished school and got a job. Grandma was the greatest artist Jessica had ever seen and was able to stay home and make sure Jess never fell too far behind the other kids.
Her dad thought Grandma was irresponsible, but Jessica didn’t think so. Grandma was just free-spirited. Jessica thought that made her fun.
As the clapping continued, Jessica rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face. Even if she had just blown out a few candles, hearing everyone so happy for her made her feel happy, just like when Grandpa blew smoke.
Her grandma rocked another one of those babies who wasn’t related to them against her chest in a long pink elephant-covered papoose so the baby didn’t fuss. Then her grandpa scooped homemade ice cream while her dad cut the cake.
Jessica had wanted a cake with her favorite singer on it, but Grandma didn’t like processed sugars and chemicals. Grandma made the cake herself and covered it with purple icing and pretty pink writing, which Jessica figured were all-natural. Her dad pulled out the slice he cut for her, and all of a sudden the boring old cake turned into something magical.
Jessica gasped. Her grandma was watching her reaction like she always did. Sometimes Jessica exaggerated her excitement because she knew that made her grandma happy, but this time, she didn’t have to act. She really was surprised and so happy.
“Wow,” she whispered as multi-colored candies fell like confetti from the cake. They weren’t the grocery store kind of candies—those would never pass Grandma’s inspection—but they were still candies. Jessica popped a pink one into her mouth and smiled when chocolate melted on her tongue.
This was the best cake ever. She knew then that it was a sign. This was the year…the year her wish would finally come true.
Chapter One
Phil Martinson-Canton eased onto the plush sofa in his parents’ living room while his mother perched on a wooden rocking chair and cooed to the whining baby. Kara had raised Phil on her own—his father hadn’t come into the picture until Phil was an adult. Instead of having a “normal” life, Kara and Phil had spent the better part of his youth in communes for single mothers. She now felt it was her duty to support every broken family she stumbled upon—including taking in babies like Mira when the need arose. Kara had always been a baby whisperer, but this particular infant seemed resistant to her maternal nature.
Though Phil had stopped to visit under the pretense of inviting his parents to lunch, he’d sent his daughter to help her grandpa heat up a bottle so he could talk privately with his mother. He hated confronting Kara when she looked so exhausted, but she had a way of worming her way into areas of his life where she had no business being. Her meddling had always been tiresome, but now he was a grown man with a child of his own. He found it intolerable, and he needed to put a stop to it.
“Jessica is at it again,” he said.
Kara creased her brow at him. “At what?”
“She’s been talking about me dating her teacher, Mom. As though it’s going to happen.”
“Why are you looking at me like that’s my fault?”
Phil frowned at her. She knew exactly why that was her fault. “You’ve been giving me a really hard time about being single.”
She had the gall to look offended. “I have not.”
“Yes, you have.”
“Your mom is just worried about you.” Harry walked into the living room shaking a baby bottle. Phil’s dad always made excuses for Kara. She hated seeing Phil lonely. She wanted Jessica to have a mother figure in her life. As far as Phil was concerned, neither of those excuses justified planting the seed in Jessica’s head that her dad needed a girlfriend…especially if Kara had implied that Jessica’s teacher should be that girlfriend.
“Where’s Jess?” Phil asked, not wanting to hash this out in front of her.
“She said she wanted a glass of water, but your mom made cookies this morning. I’m sure we’re going to be missing a few when you leave.”
Phil opened his mouth to protest—they were headed to the café for lunch—but if Jess was sneaking snacks, at least she’d be occupied. Returning his attention to his mother, he got the conversation back on track. “Jess thinks I was flirting with her teacher.”
“Were you?” Harry handed Kara the warm bottle of formula.
“No.”
Harry grinned, mischief sparkling in his eyes. “I wouldn’t blame you. That is one good-looking elementary school teacher.”
Phil gawked at his mother as she situated Mira in the crook of her arm. “Did you hear that?”
Kara casually shrugged. “Well, she is good-looking. If I were younger and single—”
“Oh my God, Mother.” Phil closed his eyes while his parents laughed. Blowing out some of his frustration between his lips, he pressed his palms together and tightly entwined his fingers, willing himself to remain calm. “Look, the last thing I need is my daughter telling people I flirt with her teacher. Good grief, what if she told her classmates that? Eleven-year-old girls aren’t exactly known for keeping secrets. Shit,” he said thoughtfully. “Maybe that’s why Ms. Jackson acted so nervous at our last conference.”
His parents laughed again, and he glared at them.
Kara had long ago embraced a bohemian style. She never seemed overly concerned with styling her long strawberry-blond hair, but as she rolled her head back, he noted how the messy bun on top of her head had become just as much a part of her style as brightly colored long skirts and fitted T-shirts. The exhaustion no longer showed only in dark bags under her eyes. His father’s dark hair seemed grayer by the day and the lines around his mouth somehow deeper.
Caring for this baby was starting to impact his parents on a level he’d never seen before. His concern for their wellbeing would wait for another day, however. Right now, he just needed his mother to stop interfering in his personal life.
“Mom. I’ll date when I’m ready. Please, no more.”
“No more what?” Kara asked. “What exactly do you think I’ve been doing, Phil?”
“You tried to set me up on no fewer than three dates last month. And in front of Jess.”
“All I asked was if you were interested in going out with my friend’s daughter.”
“Three times. In front of Jessica.”
Kara frowned in that way she always did when he confronted her about her behavior. They’d butted heads from the time Phil could think for himself. She wanted to be a drifter; he wanted a permanent home. She wanted to homeschool; he wanted to attend public schools. She wanted to eat all organic; he loved fast food. Whatever the issue, they tended to stand on opposite sides. They even had completely contrasting looks—her pale skin and light hair were nothing like the dark eyes and hair he’d inherited from his father.
However, he suspected the current downward turn of her lips wasn’t about this particular disagreement. She was struggling to keep the infant in her arms from breaking into an all-out tantrum.
He almost felt guilty for piling this on her, but she’d brought on this lecture by meddling in his business. Again.
“Listen,” she said, “Jessica has really been focused on the fact that she doesn’t have a mother. I think she needs to have someone in her life to fill that role, even if it isn’t someone you are involved with. She’s eleven now. The last person she wants to talk to about preteen girl things is her dad. I’ve been there, Phil. I know how hard it is to be a single parent, especially to a child of the opposite sex. You can’t fully understand what Jess is going through as she grows up. She needs someone to talk to.”
Damn her for playing that card. He hated when she did that. Yes, he did know what it was like to grow up without one of his parents. Yes, he had blamed his mother for as long as he could remember. Yes, without a doubt, his daughter would benefit from having a woman in her life to turn to.
“She has you, Mom. Why the hell do you think I kept you around all those years?” He curved his lip into a half smile so she’d know he was teasing…but only a little. They’d never voiced the truth to each other, but he suspected they both understood Jessica was the tie that kept them bound together once he was old enough to be on his own.
If he hadn’t needed his mother to help raise his daughter, they likely would have gone their own ways, seeing each other only when Kara made the effort to cross his path. Having Jessica had kept them in the same orbit. Having Harry, the only person who seemed to keep Kara grounded, back in their lives had set them on the path of mending their tattered relationship.
He wouldn’t say he had completely let go of his resentment at being forced into her bohemian lifestyle, but at least he was working on it now. Settling down in his parents’ hometown of Stonehill had brought the first real sense of belonging to Phil’s heart. Though the small Midwestern town was a far cry from the West Coast where he’d spent all his life, Phil had adjusted. Happily adjusted. He had his father now. And his mother, whom he could finally see in a light that wasn’t tainted with pure bitterness—just occasional hints of residual resentment.
“I will always be here for her,” Kara said. “But having a grandma isn’t the same as having a woman she can view as a mother figure. She’s getting to be old enough to realize that.”
“So I should just go grab the first woman I find and ask her to marry me and raise my kid?”
“That’s not what she’s saying,” Harry stated. “Your mother has a genuine concern, Phil. Hear her out.”
“It’s been hard watching you spend your entire life focused only on raising Jess,” Kara said. “You need more than just being a father to her to be truly happy. Trust me, sweetheart, I did the exact same thing you’re doing. The big difference is that you’re raising her without any of the fun stuff. At least I took you on adventures, taught you things you couldn’t learn in school. We saw things, Phil. We went places.”
This was their same old debate: her vagabond ways versus his desire for normalcy. “What’s wrong with being close to family? It’s actually nice, don’t you think? To have a real home.”
“Yes, Phil. It is nice. But there is more to life than just stability. Jess deserves to have fun. To experience things. So do you.” She nodded toward her husband. “I think you’d be surprised how nice it is to have someone to share those things with. I know I was.”
Once again, Phil inhaled deeply and let his breath out slowly. His mother had always had a way of trying his patience. She never knew when to quit. “Point taken. Now, changing the subject. Are you sure you don’t want to come to lunch with Jess and me?”
“Not a chance,” Harry said. “That little one will be taking a nap soon, and I’m making damn sure your mother and I follow suit.”
“She was up all night again,” Kara explained. “Your father is exhausted.”
“So are you.” Harry eyed her, and for a moment, Phil felt an odd sensation roll through him. Not jealousy exactly, but maybe the first real understanding of what his mom was saying. She’d never had anyone she could count on until she and Harry got back together. She’d always been on her own. She had friends—lovers too, he was sure—but she’d never had anyone who looked at her the way Harry did, like she was some wonderful thing to be cherished. Having someone to look at like that, and who looked at him like that in return, wouldn’t be so bad.
Frowning at the droopy-eyed baby—and the idea that his mother could be right—Phil asked, “When are you going to realize you’ve gotten suckered into raising this child?”
“We already have,” Kara said. “But what would you have us do? Turn her out? Lynn can come and go to her heart’s content, so long as we know this one is safe.” She patted the baby’s back and got a muted coo in return.
When Kara smiled contentedly, Phil pushed himself up. She’d never turn anyone out, not even a young mother who took advantage of her at every turn. While he’d made it his life’s mission to find the stability he’d never had growing up, his mother’s mission was to offer support that she’d been denied by her own family to frightened young mothers.
He knew how this was going to end, and his soul already ached for his parents. “It’s going to break your heart when she takes Mira and leaves. And you know she’ll leave sometime, Mom.”
Kara cradled the baby a little closer. “Until then, Mira is going to know what it means to be cared for.”
The image reminded Phil that one of the broken families his mother had cared for was his. His wife had left when Jessica was six months old. As soon as they’d found out the baby she was carrying had Down syndrome, she’d stopped wanting to have th
eir daughter. Phil had convinced her not to end the pregnancy, but the medical conditions they’d faced after Jessica was born were too much for Katrina to handle. When the doctors said Jess had to have life-saving heart surgery, Katrina walked out the door and never looked back. Phil’s mother had immediately stepped in to help him shoulder the emotional and financial burdens of Jessica’s medical needs.
She’d held Jessica the same way she was holding little Mira, rocking gently, patting slowly, brushing her cheek over the baby’s head. He’d harbored a lot of anger at his mother over the years, blaming her for his not having a father, but he could never be angry at her for caring about Jessica’s needs. She’d always put Jess above everyone else, and even if she were butting in on his personal life, her motivation was the same as it had been since the day Jessica was born—she wanted to do what she perceived was best for her beloved granddaughter.
His anger softened, the edge dulled, as he watched the unbridled love radiating from his mother’s soul. She was going to be inconsolable when this baby was taken from her. Her need to fix everything for everyone was admirable, but he wished she’d figure out how to quit while she was ahead. With Mira’s mother and with him.
“Look, I know Jess needs someone in her life, but I’m not going to let just anyone in. She gets attached to people. She opens her heart to them, like you do. I don’t want her to get hurt if that someone doesn’t feel the same about her.”
“I know.” Kara looked up at him. “I’m just pointing out what I see, Phil. There’s a void in that child’s life. The same void you felt growing up. Sorry, Harry.” She glanced at her husband, who dismissed her apology with a wave of his hand. “You know how it feels to not have someone in your life to connect with on that level. Jessica will always have me, but it isn’t the same. You know that.”