What the hell?
Chapter 5
ELIZABETH
I don’t know what I’ve been thinking. This man’s presence turns my brain into mashed potatoes.
“You’re acting as if a job as a waitress is some big thing you can’t possible up and quit. That’s insane, Elizabeth. Of course, you can quit it. They can get along fine without you. I, on the other hand, need you around.”
Getting into the elevator, I turn to look at Zane and I know it’s his good looks that has me making stupid decisions. But the lighthouse is a big part of that too. I suppose I could look at this thing he’s asking me to do, as a job that’s paying for the lighthouse.
“You did say that you’d be renovating the lighthouse too, right?” I ask as I watch him closely.
“The entire property as well,” he says with a nod. “Perhaps you could see this as your job. Playing a role. Like an actress.”
“I could do that.” But the fact is I’m not one and my feelings are very real. Distinguishing between real and fake is not a thing I’ve been trained to do. “Perhaps acting lessons can be thrown into our little deal then.”
Moving his body close to mine until he has my back to the wall, he whispers, “I think you act like you and I have a real thing already. No need for lessons.”
My heart is pounding, a thing he points out as he runs one hand right over it as he looks into my eyes. “This type of emotions are so real, I need to learn how to do the things actors do while maintaining reality. The reality is, this isn’t real. I don’t love you, you don’t love me and I have to find a way to keep my heart protected.”
His hand moves from just over my heart, up to cup the back of my neck. “I promise not to hurt you.” His lips touch mine and I nearly fall apart.
I both love and hate how his kiss does this to me. I’m putty in the man’s hands with one kiss. One sinfully sweet kiss!
The elevator stops. His mouth leaves mine. I’m breathing like a woman who has just run a marathon as he takes my hand and leads me out the door. “Come, Elizabeth. Your desert is waiting.”
With floating steps, I stay at his side. Then I realize we’re on his floor, not the one where my things are. “You forgot to stop at my room.”
“I’ll have your things brought to the penthouse.” He stops in front of his door and produces a key and hands it to me. “Here, this is yours now.”
Taking it, I feel as if something has shifted. It’s starting to feel more real. Not as dreamlike as it has felt.
I am going to live for an undetermined amount of time with this gorgeous man as his pretend wife in this magnificent place. I use the key to unlock the door and just as we get inside, he sweeps me up into his arms and closes the door behind us while somehow placing the box of dessert on the small table beside the door.
His mouth is on mine, taking me away again, before I know it and my arms are running around his neck. Then I’m laid on the soft cashmere sofa and he lies next to me, never letting our mouths part.
I shouldn’t be allowing this. I know I shouldn’t. But the way he makes me feel is so hard to say no to. My body is on fire. There’s an ache so deep inside of me, I can feel it in places where I’ve never felt a thing before.
My body does what it wants to, leaving my brain out of it. I arch up to him as his hand slides up my thigh and over my panties. My dress is moved up by the motion and I can feel the soft fabric of the sofa on my back.
I’d love to know what it would feel like on my naked skin.
I wonder what he’d feel like on my naked skin.
Clawing at his clothes, I want them off him and he pulls his mouth away so he can pull the jacket off and when his fingers move to unbutton his shirt, I stop them with mine.
“You know we shouldn’t be doing this,” I say as I hold his hands still.
“But this could make the act so much more real. Intimate knowledge of each other is pretty essential in a marriage. Don’t you think?”
His logic is dizzying. And my body is screaming at me to shut the hell up and let him do what he wants to, I Look at him as he hovers over me, I so want to give in and do this with him. But I can’t seem to get past my morals.
“I’m not saying never, Zane. But I don’t know you yet. I’m sorry.”
He groans and gets off me. “I need a drink.”
Lying on the sofa, I try to gather my wits. Looking up at the ceiling that’s even ornate in this luxury penthouse, I almost want to cry. My body is not happy with my brain right now.
Getting up, I go to find a bathroom as Zane has disappeared. I can’t fault him for his actions. He is a man after all.
I do like kissing him as much as he seems to like kissing me but we have to slow down. His speed is going to wreck us for sure. Someone has to be the voice of reason in this thing!
The need to wash away this glamor overcomes me as I go into the bathroom. I find myself pulling off the dress and jewels and getting into the shower. Away I wash the phony face and hair. Away I wash the heat he brought out in me. Away I wash the thoughts about giving in to my libido.
As I get out, fresh and feeling much more like myself, I dry off and put on the white robe hanging on the back of the door. Running my fingers through my hair to kind of comb it out, I look in the mirror and see me again.
Taking a deep breath, I head back out to the living room and find Zane sitting on the sofa with a glass of dark liquor in his hand. His eyes are glazed over as he stares at the television that has no sound on.
When I come into the room, he turns and looks at me. His eyes move up and down my body and he groans then gets up and goes across the room and picks up the box of cheesecake. Turning back, he comes back and places it on the sofa next to him then takes a drink as he pats the sofa for me to sit next to him on the other side.
“I think that’s a bad idea,” I tell him as I look around. “Where’s this other bedroom?”
He points down the hall without looking at me. Just as I turn to leave, I hear him say, “I want you, Elizabeth. I want all of you. I’m not a man who does this sort of thing. I don’t buy women presents. I don’t want women around even. But I want you. I want every bit of you. I’ve never wanted anything so bad in my entire life. You walking out of this room right now is like torture to me and I don’t even understand why.”
It’s torture to me too. I wonder why that is.
Chapter 6
ZANE
I can’t look at her. She’s driving me insane!
One would think that her taking a shower, washing away the makeup and leaving her hair in a damp mess would have my want for her diminishing somewhat. But it did exactly the opposite of that.
My cock was already hard for her. When I saw her like that it went five times harder. I didn’t even know that was possible!
“I can’t have sex without feelings, Zane.”
“Go to bed then,” I tell her as I pull the glass of forget everything juice to my lips.
I’ve never been the kind of man who drinks as much as I’ve put into my system this evening. I’m avid about keeping myself healthy. With two parents and several grandparents who died much too young, I’ve been health conscious for as long as I can remember.
The sound of her leaving the room fills me with disappointment. A part of me thought she’d come to me anyway. I don’t know why I thought that. She’s been very upfront with me about her morals.
I suppose somewhere deep inside of me I thought our attraction would get her where I want her. She’s one tough chick!
There’s no doubt in my mind she wants me just as bad as I want her but she has some serious self-control I didn’t realize I was lacking. Funny what all this woman is showing me about myself.
Placing the glass that’s half empty on the side table, I decide my words sounded mean and I get up, grabbing the cheesecake and head to the guestroom. I have no idea if she’ll even let me in but I have to try.
With a light knock on the door, I hear her quiet an
swer, “Come in, Zane.”
With a shy smile, I enter the bedroom I’ve only come into a handful of times and find her in the bed with the blanket pulled up to cover herself and I realize, with the robe thrown over the chair, that she’s totally naked as I’ve forgotten to get her things brought here.
“I’ll call to have your things brought right away, Elizabeth. That was rude of me.” Picking up the phone on the table next to the bed, I make the call that gets her things coming to her.
“Thank you,” she says. Her eyes are on the box in my hand. “You brought the cake.”
Gesturing to the bed, I ask, “May I sit down and help you eat this? I promise to behave myself.”
Her smile lets me know she’s going to allow me to share the cheesecake with her and I take a seat on the bed, facing her. Opening the box, I take in the smell then hold the box under her nose. “Mmm, smells delicious,” she says.
The waiter put a tiny fork inside the box so I take a small chunk and put it to her lips. She takes the bite and her eyes go wide as she chews it up.
“Pretty damn good, isn’t it?” I ask.
She nods and reaches out for the little fork. I hand it to her and she stabs the moist creamy goodness and holds it out for me to take a bite. I do and look at her as I eat it.
She has no idea of what she’s doing to me. Not an inkling!
But my aggressive behavior is very hypocritical. I have to reign it in. I’m being so much like Meagan Saunders, it’s not even funny.
I’m not quite ready to throw the words, I want to marry you, for real out to Elizabeth at this moment but nearly all the rest I’ve been doing. So I have to exercise some self-control or I’ll surely have her hating me.
“I’m sorry,” I say as I give her another bite. “I’ve been an ass.”
Her laugh is light then she says, “Just a little bit.”
She gives me a bite and I take her hand before she can pull it away. “No, a big one.” I take the bite as her smile fades. Then I ask, “Do you really want to do this, Elizabeth? I’ve just realized that you really want that lighthouse. You want it so damn bad you’d nearly sell your soul for the thing.”
“Well, I’m not selling my soul or anything else for that matter.” Her brow furrows as she looks into my eyes. “The fact is I feel something towards you. I’m not sure why that is but it’s there and it’s strong. I don’t want to go home and act like nothing’s happened. Something has happened. I don’t know what it is, though.”
“If I told you that you could have that lighthouse without pretending to be my wife, what would you say?”
“Would you do that?” she asks. “Would you just let me have it and leave me alone?”
“If that’s what you wanted, I might just do that. But I really don’t want to leave you alone. But if you want me to, I will.”
My heart is screeching at me not to give her this chance to walk away from me. My mind, however, knows it’s the right thing to do. Her smile gives me no indication of what her answer will be.
Then she shakes her head. “No, I don’t want you to just give it to me. I made a deal with you and you do seem to need a viable reason for that woman to leave you alone. I’ll keep up my end of the deal.”
“Good. And I’ll make it my top priority to be more of a gentleman with you. But just so you know, you can give me the thumbs up anytime you want and I’ll show you just how great I can make you feel.”
A blush covers her cheeks and she looks down. “I know you can make me feel more than I’ve ever felt. I can see that already.” Then she looks at me and I see more depth behind those green eyes than I’ve ever seen in any eyes I’ve ever looked into before. “But to be in love with you is a thing I think will make it even better.”
“I’ve never been in love,” I tell her. “I’m not going to lie to you about it either. I’m not sure I know how to love.” I give her a wink. “But I know how to make you scream in ecstasy, that’s for sure.”
Her laugh fills my ears and send joy to my heart. “I bet you can!” She hits my arm, lightly. “Let’s just get to know each other, Zane. We can see where that leads us. Okay?”
I nod and the door buzzer tells me her things have arrived. “Let me go get your things. I’ll be back.” Leaving the cheesecake with her, I look over my shoulder. “And save me one more bite of that, please.”
She nods as I head out of her room and feel kind of light-hearted. I’m still frustrated but not as much as I was. It would be great to get to have her but I can wait.
I just hope she doesn’t make me wait until we find love because that may never come!
Chapter 7
ELIZABETH
Kids are running and screaming at the tops of their little lungs as a heard of them run past us, shooting each other with huge water guns. Eugene Brasco of The Brasco Toy Company laughs with delight as he watches the kids playing. “Go get them, Johnny!” he shouts to the birthday boy he’s throwing the party for.
Zane and I have been cohabitating for two days now and my decision to join him at this birthday party was not without my own incentives. I want to see how the man is with children. My feminine curiosity overcame me and I’m not entirely sure I like the outcome.
He’s more than a bit stiff with the kids he’s interacted with, which was about three of them. He’s all business, this man!
“So, Eugene, I was looking at last year’s sales and I couldn’t help but notice that while they were good, they could’ve been better. You’ve neglected to get into the visually interactive games kids love to buy,” Zane says as he tries to talk to the man for the umpteenth time about his company.
“Video games?” Eugene asks as he throws his hand in the air as if waving off the notion. “Bah! I detest them! Look around, White. Tell me what you see.”
“A bunch of kids acting like maniacs,” he says with a shrug of his wide shoulders.
I laugh and try to save things for the poor guy. “Zane, really look at them. They’re having the time of their lives. A thing they wouldn’t be doing it they had a gaming device in their hands instead of a water gun. Really look, babe.” Getting out of the tall patio chair, I go to his side and take his hand in mine. A hand that now has a gold band on it. He got us a set to make things more legit.
Eugene nods as he says, “Now she knows what my vision is. Good choice in making her your wife, White. Very good choice.”
Zane looks at me with a smile on his face and kisses my cheek. “Yes, she was a very good choice. I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, baby. Now look at those kids.” I take him by the chin and turn his face to look at the kids who are all having fun. “Look past the insanity that seems to be happening out there and find one kid’s face to zoom in on and tell me what you see.”
He looks around for a minute then says, “Aw, that little boy is smiling like he’s just won the lottery or something. It’s kind of cute.”
“Those smiles are what make my life worthwhile,” Eugene says. “I was married to the love of my life. My one and only. She and I wanted to have kids so badly. But that just wasn’t in the cards for us. She and I started this company with our combined ideas. When she laid on her deathbed she made me promise that this company, a thing we consider as dear as any child of our own, was placed in the right hands. Hands that knew how to make kids happy.”
Zane’s eyes go to mine in an attempt to ask for more of my help. It’s funny how I can read him so easily. “Zane’s never been around kids much. But I think with some more immersion into the depths of the little angels he could learn what makes them tick. I know you aren’t really considering him right now, Mr. Brasco, but you really should. He’s a very caring man, though he’s not accustomed to showing it.”
I look into Zane’s eyes and find him staring back into mine with unsaid gratitude as Eugene says, “It’s very beautiful what you two have. I will consider him if you were to come along with him, Mrs. White.”
Zane’s eyes go wide and he s
miles then looks at Eugene. “You would? She’d definitely be a part of this venture! I can’t think of anyone who’d make a better partner in this type of company. She holds a degree in history, I bet she could use some of her knowledge to come up with new spins on old toys.”
His enthusiasm is catching as Eugene sits up and seems very interested all of a sudden as he looks at me. “A history major? Why didn’t you say so? Oh, that was my favorite subject when I was back in school. I loved reading about the various wars back then. Do you have any interest in developing toys, my dear?”
The idea of coming up with toys has never crossed my mind but my husband wants this company very badly so I nod. “I loved playing with them when I was a kid. I didn’t spend a lot of time in front of a television when I was growing up. My grandfather gave me this little set that I used to collect bugs and learn about them. That was my favorite one.”
“Oh, I know what you’re talking about,” Eugene says with a laugh and a gleam in his eye. This man simply loves toys!
“You played with bugs?” Zane asks as he frowns at me.
“Played? No,” I say as I take his hand, pulling him up to come with me. “I studied them then let them go. Come on, I want to show you what it feels like to let that inner little kid free.”
“Teach him!” Eugene calls out to us. “Show him what it’s like to really live!”
As I tug him along behind me, he seems reluctant to go with me. “I don’t want to get wet.”
“I don’t want to hear you saying things like that. Who doesn’t like a good water gun fight?” Grabbing two guns off a picnic table, I hand one to him and point mine right at his face.
“Not in the,” he has to shut up because of course, I shot him in the face. “You’re so going to get it. This means war!”
I scream and turn to run and find my back cold with the water from his gun. When the kids find a couple of adults playing, they all come at us. A few of them are screaming, “Us against them!”
The Billionaire’s Lighthouse Series: A Billionaire, Bad Boy, Romance Page 9