by Ash Harlow
Adam handed her a coffee. “Take a seat.”
Lulah pulled a face. “This feels like one of those moments when I should say that I’d rather stand.”
“Sit.”
Lulah headed for an armchair. “Trust you, Marlo, to break it down to canine simplicity. I’m sitting, okay, but I’m wondering where my donut reward is.”
“I’m going into town, later. I’ll buy donuts, one in every flavor, all for you, Lulah.”
“Now, that’s more like it.” Despite their kidding around, the idea of trying to eat a donut made her stomach churn.
“No point in messing around,” Adam began. “There’s bad news, but the dark cloud has a bright lining.”
“The weather’s going to turn, huh? Rain, sleet, or snow?” Her attempt at joking delayed the inevitable.
“CRAR have made their appointment for director of the service dog program. The new woman starts at the end of the month. Her name is Steffi Benson.”
Lulah’s face grew hot. Her heart tried to climb into her throat, closer to an air supply. She couldn’t speak even if she could find the right words.
“Are you okay, Lulah?”
She nodded. As okay as a total loser could be. She lifted her coffee mug to her mouth but replaced it on the table. If she tried to drink, she’d gag.
“The appointment is only for twelve months—”
“Sure,” Lulah shrugged. “That makes me feel much better.” God, now she behaved like a child. She shook her head. “Sorry, I’m, you know, totally bummed by the news.”
“If it’s any consolation, we are, too.” Marlo gave her a small smile. “The whole program will be revisited in twelve months, and at that time, provided you have your animal behavior degree, you can apply again. We’re assured the position will be yours at that time.”
“Unless the board changes, or the criteria change, or this Steffi person turns out to be awesome sauce and you guys couldn’t let her go.”
“She’s run a service dog program in Florida for three years, working with assistance dogs for people with physical disabilities, and she wants to broaden her skills. The two of you can work together, and Mike will come up from time-to-time to make sure everything’s on track. Steffi was quite happy to take a one-year contract, because she wants to travel.”
“Until she comes here and sees what a great place it is.”
Adam shook his head. “The board is ultimately accountable for spending funds, and the people who donate need to know that we’re putting together the best team for the program. Unfortunately, that entails qualifications.”
“Which I’d probably have if Dad hadn’t…” Oh, hell, she wasn’t going to join any sort of blame circle. She stood, trying to dismiss the slump of disappointment that weighed her down. “I’d better go down to HQ before the interns start experimenting with half-assed behavior theories again.”
“Come back up for lunch, will you?” Marlo asked.
“I’ll see how I go.” Lulah paused at the door. “Sorry, I’m not shooting the messenger. I knew what the requirements were all along. I hoped that the work I’d done with Calliope might have counted for something.”
“It did. That’s why only a twelve-month contract was offered.”
“Sure.”
“And, Lulah…”
“Yes, boss?”
Marlo fixed her with a no-nonsense stare. “Don’t even think about looking for another job. Your place is here, got it?”
Lulah stood to attention, clicked her heels, and saluted. She knew that made Marlo crazy.
“One more thing, how did it go with Vince in the weekend?”
She dropped her hand and lost the staunch stance. Right now, she didn’t want to think about Vince. “It was fine.”
“That bad, huh?”
“No, it was great, but a lot to take in. I’ll tell you about it later.” She scooted down the steps and across the flagstones, calling for Joker to follow as she broke into a jog for HQ. Perhaps her father could be found playing slots in a local bar and complete her day.
LULAH DECIDED TO have a glass of wine before she made the phone call. Luck hadn’t flowed her way these past few days, and the wine would help her lose the superstitious thoughts about the potential of the call becoming her third bomb-out.
Ten minutes later, having done some of the smoothest talking she’d managed in, well, forever, she put down the phone and made a fist-pump. “Third time’s the charm, so take that, you mystic devil of bad luck.”
Now to pull Vince in. He should have left the Retreat by now and be heading upstate to photograph his first dog commission. Two days would give him plenty of time to take the photos and drive back to Halo Peak. She’d give him a call in the morning.
The success of her call gave her a lift. Every time she thought about losing the promotion, she also stressed about getting the money together to buy the cabin.
She still wanted to pay Vince back the money he’d spent clearing Ray’s loan, even though he insisted he didn’t want the money. But perhaps buying the cabin wasn’t so much of an issue now. If she found she couldn’t work with this Steffi person, she’d be moving on herself.
Ray, at least, cooperated. When she’d visited him on her way home from work, she’d found him up, dressed, and sketching in the small garden outside his room at the rehab center. He’d greeted her with the old cheeky grin that made her heart melt and told her he’d been accepted at a place to help with his gambling. He also gave her a list of art supplies he wanted.
She took another sip of wine and put her glass down. Time now to stop focusing on negative stuff. The men in her life were healing, their own lives back together in exactly the manner she hoped. This was her opportunity to focus on her own life, finish her degree, and be ready to grab that promotion in twelve months’ time.
She would look at working with Steffi as an opening to broaden her skills. No more pussyfooting around and feeling sorry for herself. With new resolve, she headed for bed. Tomorrow she’d finish her plan for Vince she’d put in motion earlier.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Lulah arrived first at the community dog training meet-up point. She hadn’t experienced such a swarm of stomach butterflies since the night of the auction.
What she had organized tonight was probably more important for Vince than taking the stage at the auction on his behalf.
He wasn’t here, but she was early, so she ordered Joker out of the SUV and set off around the park to give him a walk. It would settle her nerves as much as benefit the dog.
When she reached a spot near the park bench, where she’d sat with Vince a few weeks ago, her phone rang.
The caller ID showed it was her rental agent for the cabin, and she contemplated ignoring the call. Probably a rent rise, and that sort of news could wait until later in the evening.
She threw Joker’s ball into some bush to make the fetch game they were playing more challenging and watched his furiously wagging tail disappear into the trees.
When the agent called a second time, she decided she might as well deal with him. If it was a rent rise, ignoring his call wouldn’t change a thing. Two minutes later, she cut off the call, her hands shaking, her world breaking apart.
The cabin had sold. She’d taken too long getting the money together, too stubborn to go to the bank for a loan. She wanted to kick herself, kick the new owner, and kick Albert’s family for refusing to honor the agreement that she would have first refusal on the property if another interested party showed up.
No chance, no warning. The new owner hadn’t even viewed the place.
Joker sat at her feet, his great pink tongue lolling from one side of his mouth, his head ducking repeatedly to indicate he’d dropped the tennis ball in front of her and would she kindly pick it up and throw it now, please?
Lulah stayed frozen in place on the park bench. Turned out bad luck did come in threes.
Across the park, students and dogs gathered for class. She knew she shoul
d head over there, compose herself, deal with the students but…shit, she wanted to cry. She rubbed at her eyes, took a couple of big breaths, and called Joker to heel.
“Fuck it.” There, she said it. Not that it changed anything, but somehow it helped free some stress.
She pulled her shoulders back, pasted on a smile, and set off at a jog to meet her students.
When she arrived at the group, she saw Vince wasn’t there, but his no-show scarcely raised any emotion. Seemed it didn’t matter how she tried to arrange things, nothing worked for her.
She cast her gaze around the jumbled group one more time and found the other person she hoped would be here.
Wow. She was gorgeous.
Vince pulled up to the park where the small group of people with their dogs were starting to assemble for community dog training. It was Lulah’s turn to take the class this evening, and she’d asked for his help. She said it was graduation night and that usually one of the interns helped out, but there was nobody available.
He was late. The meeting with the lawyer took longer than he’d estimated, which made him overdue for his other appointment that afternoon. And that wasn’t one he could rush.
Clipping the leash to Calliope’s collar, he climbed out of the pickup, gathering a jacket and scarf from his bag on the seat.
Hell, it was cold. He checked to see what Lulah wore. She was notorious for dressing too light for the weather, but she’d even gone for a hat tonight.
He saw her. It wasn’t the sight of Taryn, who appeared to have stuck at the dog training course over the past few weeks that stopped him in his tracks sending his heart completely wild and flooding him with the most extraordinary warmth.
It was Gable.
She stood alongside Taryn, twiddling with the end of the leash that Taryn held.
Vince was stunned. He didn’t know whether to approach them or go to Lulah. He chose Lulah, because hell, if this was going to cause a scene, he needed backup. As he walked towards her, she came to meet him.
“Hey, Vince.”
“Hey, yourself. Ah…” He glanced back over to Gable then back to Lulah, raising his eyebrows to ask the question he was too afraid to put into words.
“She’s yours while Taryn does class.”
“Did you do this for me, Lulah?”
He watched her nodding, her mouth tight as if worried she might have made a bad call. He looked back at Gable again, afraid she’d vanish, scared that maybe this was a dream. He wrapped an arm around Lulah, taking her chin and tipping her head up to him. “You’re a miracle worker. This is more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you.”
Lulah pulled from his grasp. “Go on; get over there,” she said, nudging him away.
As he turned, Gable came running towards him. “Daddy,” she called, raising her arms to be picked up. He swept her up against him, pulling her head against his shoulder, wanting to hold her so tight but worried he’d crush her. Over Gable’s shoulder, he mouthed another ‘thank you’ to Lulah, and placed the wriggling child back on the ground. “What first?” he asked, “Swings or the slide?”
She took his hand and pulled. “Swings, Daddy. Let’s go.”
Daddy. The sweetest word he’d heard in such a long time.
Concentrating on the class was difficult when every glance she stole brought Vince and Gable into sight, playing on the swings or messing about with Calliope. Sometimes she caught them deep in conversation, oblivious to the class going on nearby. Watching the pair should have brought her so much pleasure, but now she felt lost.
The small world she’d created for herself had broken into pieces when she heard her cabin had sold, and seeing Vince with his daughter, seeing their joy and the way they seemed to fit like a hand in a glove, turned the pieces of her world upside down.
Vince caught her gaze, held it, and this time it was he who seemed to find her soul as his broad smile filled her with light. With Gable, he looked complete. Lulah helped him reach his prize, and in time, she would enjoy some satisfaction from having done that for him. Right now, she’d take his smile, because his pleasure would sustain her through the class.
A couple of hours later, they were back at the cabin. Lulah prepared dinner, and Vince leaned against the bench, still smiling.
“God, Lulah, I don’t know if I can ever thank you enough for what you did, arranging for Gable to be there tonight. Even better, Taryn has said I can have her for the entire day the Sunday after next. Maybe I can bring her back here, show her around the Dog Sanctuary. She’d love that.”
“Good idea.” Why couldn’t she inject any enthusiasm into her voice?
“You’re not okay, Lulah. What’s wrong?”
She stared at the potato half-peeled in her hand, her back to Vince, thankfully, because now at home, not having to hold everything together for class, she cracked. “Tired, I guess,” she mumbled. Hell, tears now, great. She lifted an arm, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater.
“Jesus, you’re crying.”
“It’s the onions,” she lied.
She jumped when his hands took her shoulders. “You don’t have onions; now turn around.”
She shook her head. “Don’t, Vince.”
“To hell with that.” He took the knife she’d been using from her hand and placed it on the bench. “Come with me.” He led her to the sofa, sitting first and pulling her into his lap. She struggled, not wanting his concern or tenderness, because what was the point of comfort when he’d be gone soon? But his arms trapped her, and finally she gave in, burying her face into his chest and taking a long deep breath of him, his scent and his strength.
“So, imp, tell me what’s upset you.”
“Hold me a bit. I’ll be alright, soon.”
“Sure, I’ll hold you for as long as you need, and you’ll be alright as soon as you tell me what’s bothering you.”
She could stay silent in the safety and warmth, here against Vince. In fact, she could happily stay right here for the rest of her life.
“Come on, let me have it.”
“Break.”
Vince chuckled. “Nice try, but that safeword doesn’t work around me. We have all night, and I’m a patient man, so if you’re planning to eat, you’d better start sharing those thoughts.”
“I’d rather hear about how you finished up at the retreat and what you talked about with Gable. That would cheer me up.”
He sat her up. “No ducking out of this, imp. I have so much to tell you, but you’re going to talk first. You’ve admitted you need cheering up. Can’t do that until I know what’s wrong, so shoot.”
“It’s a bit of a list. I don’t want to depress you.”
“As if you could.” His stomach rumbled against her. “That’s the sound of hunger. Start talking.”
Where to start? That was the problem. She’d have to leave out her insecurities about leaving Vince at the retreat because she didn’t want to sound completely crazy. “Okay, listen up ‘cause I’m only saying this once. They’ve made a decision at the Sanctuary for the director of service dog training, and it’s not me.”
“Oh, Lulah, I’m so sorry. That sucks.”
“There’s a bit more suck.”
“Ray?”
“Ray’s fine. He’s improving all the time, and he’s about to move into a rehab program for gambling. I’ve a list a mile long of art supplies he wants me to buy for him, because he’s using painting as therapy.”
“Is it me?”
She swung around and straddled his lap. Suddenly she didn’t want to hide her face from him, shelter him from the onslaught of emotion that threatened to burst through. Yeah, it was him, a bit, so why did she try to keep that a secret? “At the end of the retreat, it all went wrong for me. I felt rejected.”
“Why, imp?” He stroked her back in long sweeps up and down her spine, as if coaxing the words from her.
“After the dream, the morning I left, you went to Eric and Adoette…I thought you’d turn to me.�
� Saying it aloud sounded silly. “I guess I didn’t understand what was happening. It seemed you didn’t need me anymore.”
“I wasn’t rejecting you. I didn’t want to trouble you with anything else. Plus, it was the sort of dream some of the others already experienced, and Eric had helped them sort it out. At the retreat, my entire focus was on healing, so I was probably more self-absorbed than ever. I stayed another night there but had no more significant dreams.”
“How do you feel now?” Such bland words begging for such a potent answer.
“Normal, Lulah, and you have no idea what a feeling that is for someone like me. And it’s thanks to you, for believing I could get better. The idea of what may have happened with my life if I’d never met you fills me with horror.”
His gratitude was more of a burden than the nightmare of his story, because she was unworthy of it. Apparently she’d become some sort of bubbling mess because once again, tears threatened. “I pushed you away.” The tears spilled with her confession.
“Hey...”
He waited for her, wanting her to meet his eyes if his finger pressing under her chin was any indication.
“Hey, Lulah,” he repeated, his voice gentle as it would be with a frightened animal. “You saw in me what I couldn’t find. How many ways can I tell you how grateful I am for that? You stood me on my feet and encouraged me to seek help. That’s not pushing me away, that’s guiding me to the start of the journey I needed to take to make me whole.”
“I could have helped you more…those times when you asked.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Any more from you and I’d still be in the same place. You gave me strength and courage.” His fingertips slipped across her face, taking away her tears. “Are you hungry, imp?”
“No, not really.”
“Me neither. Come to bed and let me hold you.”
She needed that, too, but when she followed him through to the bedroom, she knew that she still had to tell him about the cabin. Vince removed his clothes, and she followed his lead. The look he gave, searing hot and loaded with desire, helped her decide that the rest of her bad news could wait until morning.