no were to run

by Robyn Peterman

  “They can singe the hair off your head and blind you with their bottoms.” I winced and threw my hands in the air. “Junior’s correct. They fart and it’s the most horrendous thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “You mean smelled,” Junior added, helping me out.

  “Yes, smelled. As long as you’re upwind or next to them it’s tolerable, but if you’re in the line of fire, you’re dead.”

  “Is this a joke?” Nicolai asked as he gaped open-mouthed at me and Junior.

  “No, it’s not,” I said.

  There was about five minutes of silence while the Dragons mulled this new stinky twist over.

  “I’ve heard of this,” Lenny said trying not to laugh and failing miserably. “At this point I say we accept their generous offer and let them help avenge their race.”

  “Seriously?” Nicolai asked with a grimace.

  “Yes, I agree with Lenny. They’re lovely people and they deserve to be there as much as we do.” I finished my piece and took a seat. My stomach was flipping with excitement at the thought of seeing Daniel and I began counting the minutes until tomorrow morning.

  “I agree as well,” Elaina said. “The King’s tyranny has been devastating to our race, but we’re still here. The Cows are not. I will fight along side them proudly.”

  “Make sure you stay beside and not in front of,” Junior recommended in total seriousness as he went back to his computers.

  “Will do,” Elaina said.

  “As you know,” Nicolai said, staring at the maps I’d provided of my father’s compound. “We have no intel on the inside. We do have spies surrounding the area, but we’ve been banking on the fact that he’ll stay there. That could prove to be our downfall.”

  The silence was loaded as everyone considered this possible clusterfuck of a wrinkle.

  “The press is tracking his every move at this point,” I said, speaking my thoughts aloud as they formed in my head. “If he moves it will be publicized and we’ll just be ready to abort mission one and move on mission two.”

  Nicolai nodded. “It’s the best we can do. We’ve never had such a brilliant opening until now. We’ll make it work no matter where we have to go.”

  “It has to stay covert so the humans don’t figure anything out that could harm them or reveal us,” Seth added.

  “Agreed,” Nicolai said with a curt nod. “We want as few casualties as possible. I don’t want the humans even remotely involved, but if it comes down to getting the King or losing him—we get him. Clear?”

  “The King—for lack of a better word—will be at the compound. He won’t leave his hoard behind,” Lenny said with more anger than I’d seen in the brief time I’d known him.

  “Um, news flash here, guys,” Junior said, glancing up from the computer in alarm. “I’m destroying his hoard as we speak.”

  “You’re destroying part of his hoard,” Lenny corrected him. “You’re bringing down a very public and important part of his hoard that will throw his army and loyalists into chaos, but a Dragon always keeps the most valuable part of his hoard very close.”

  “You know what his hoard is?” I asked, unable to imagine what other horrible thing my father had done to have something more valuable than the billions of ill-gotten dollars in his hoard.

  “I have my suspicions,” Lenny said tightly.

  “And that’s all we’re going to get?” I was so frustrated with my grandfather’s cryptic ways. But Lenny only would let you know what he wanted you to know when he was ready to share it.

  “Is there anything I can do to destroy the rest of his hoard?” Junior asked. “I have a lot of great minds at my disposal right now.”

  “No,” Lenny said. “The false king has already done much to harm this section of his hoard.”

  “Do we need to search out this treasure and destroy it when we’re in the compound?” I asked wanting to make sure if my father somehow escaped us, we could completely decimate everything of value to him.

  Lenny stared at me for a bizarrely long beat and then shook his head. “No. I’ll be keeping this part of the hoard if it still exists.”

  “Fine,” Nicolai said. “You deserve to have whatever you want from that bastard after being tortured in his dungeon for hundreds of years. I will personally help you find this treasure and kill anyone who tries to take it from you.”

  “I’m in too,” Maria vowed. “I will kill the fucking shit out of anyone who messes with you, Great-Grandpa.”

  God, I really had to have a talk with her about her language. She was a hot mess of profanity.

  “Thank you, child,” Lenny said as he stood and kissed Maria on the head. “You do your father and mother proud.”

  Maria bowed her head and was silent. Hell, we all were.

  “We must sleep,” Elaina said, breaking the silence. “We have much to accomplish in the next twenty-four hours and rest is imperative.”

  With nods, handshakes and hugs we parted.

  “You’re coming with me,” Nicolai said with a gleam of childlike excitement in his eyes.

  “Am I?” I asked as I squinted at him and tried not to smile.

  “Yep, you are.”

  He drove me nuts and made me feel loved.

  I’d follow him to the ends of the earth.

  Chapter 21

  “Close your eyes,” Nicolai said, barely able to contain himself as he led me into his quarters.

  Having the deadliest Dragon alive behave like an excited child on Christmas morning was a little disconcerting, but I was going with it.

  “Okay…open,” he said.

  I opened my eyes and my hand flew to my mouth. My ever-present tears of late filled my eyes and I gasped with joy. This was impossible. How did he do this?

  “Please tell me those are happy tears,” Nicolai pleaded as he backed away in fear of the unknown mood swings of the female Dragon named Dima.

  I nodded and gave him a watery smile as I slowly walked around the main living area touching all the colorful treasures. It was filled with toys—trains and trucks and coloring books and so much more I couldn’t even take it all in. It looked liked ten toy stores had exploded in his suite. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  “This is incredible,” I whispered in awe.

  “I also baby proofed everything,” he informed with so much pride I giggled. “I had no idea what the hell that even meant, but my mother said I had to do it since our son was coming. Junior looked it up online and we baby proofed the living hell out of this place. I can’t even open the damn cabinets now.”

  “I think I just fell in love with you a little more,” I said as I stared in wonder at the man I’d been blessed enough for fate to hand me.

  “I can baby proof the entire compound if it will get me laid,” he offered with a wicked sexy grin.

  “I’d have to say this is probably good enough to make your wish come true,” I told him as I picked up a stuffed dragon and hugged it to my chest.

  “Wait. Does this mean I’m getting lucky tonight?” he asked with a laugh as he began to disrobe, obviously very sure of his odds.

  “You are so getting lucky tonight,” I said as I dragged him toward the bedroom.

  “More than once?” he asked as he picked me up and sprinted the rest of the way.

  “As many times as you want, baby… As many times as you want.”

  ***

  “Should I just talk to him like a regular person?” Nicolai asked as he paced the grounds while we waited for the arrival of Daniel, the Cows, Dwayne and Granny. “Damn it, what do I do if he doesn’t like me?”

  “Yes, Nicolai, you just talk to him. He doesn’t bite. Well, not anymore. When he was teething he almost took my fingers off a couple of times, but we’re over that now,” I told him and laughed at his horrified expression.

  “You’ll be fine,” Elaina assured her nervous son. “I’m more worried about accidentally getting downwind of the Cows.”

  “And don’t forget we
have Vampyres coming as well,” Seth reminded us.

  “More than just Dwayne and Granny?” I asked as I scanned the horizon for cars.

  “Hell, yeah,” Junior said. “The Cows are bringing their undead husbands.”

  “Shut the front fucking door,” Maria snorted. “The Cows are mated to Vampyres?”

  “Yep, and they eloped, which almost killed Dwayne even though he’s already technically dead,” I told the group. “He had adopted the Cows and was furious he didn’t get to plan their weddings.”

  “Vampyres like to plan weddings?” Lenny asked skeptically.

  “Dwayne does. Dwayne’s not your everyday Vamp,” I told Lenny cryptically. God it felt good to give him some of his own medicine.

  Lenny waited for more and when it didn’t come he winked at me and gave me a thumbs up. I was taking after the old man and it felt good.

  “Here they come,” Maria yelled as she ran toward the approaching caravan.

  Dwayne, Granny and Daniel led the cavalcade in a brand spanking new, cherry red Hummer. I rolled my eyes. Essie had told me Dwayne liked to drive Hummers because he enjoyed being able to say the word hummer in polite company without getting in trouble. However, the Cows made the most spectacular entrance I’d ever seen. The Dragons watched with raised brows and amused expressions.

  Eight huge, loud, and shiny Harley motorcycles trailed behind the Hummer each carrying one Cow and one besotted Vampyre. They waved to the crowd of open-mouthed Dragons and the cheering started. I marveled at the unbelievable irony. Never had Dragons partnered with any species other than their own. It was a new time and a new day.

  “I thought the Cows were women,” Nicolai whispered in my ear. “I’d swear on a stack of bibles that each of those bikes are carrying two men.”

  “They’re women,” I said as I watched them drive in. “Masculine, wonderful women.”

  “Jesus,” Nicolai muttered with a grunt of disbelief. “They scare me and I’m a freakin’ Dragon.”

  “If they offer you milk, drink it,” Junior advised under his breath as he waved at the incoming parade of strange.

  “They brought milk with them?” Nicolai asked, confused.

  “Dude, they are the milk.”

  Junior laughed like a loon and he moved off toward the Cows as Nicolai slapped his hand over his mouth and gagged. This was going to be fun…

  I ran over to the Hummer, yanked open the back door and smothered my son with kisses as he laughed and squealed.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” I said as I unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled him out of his booster seat. “Have you been a good boy?”

  “He certainly has,” Granny said with a big smile. “Them Cows don’t want to give him back. He’s got those girls doin’ his every bidding.”

  “Me love the Cows,” Daniel said with a long put upon sigh. “I asked them to mawry me, but they are alweady mawried.”

  “You’ve asked a lot of women to marry you in your four short years,” I said as I bit back my smile. “Do you think that’s wise?”

  “Yes, I do. There are so many giwrls I wove.”

  “Our boy is a Romeo,” Dwayne said as he bent down and gave Daniel a big kiss and a hug. “We’re going to miss having you around.”

  “What do you say to Dwayne?” I asked Daniel.

  “Thank you for letting me stay wif you, O Gweat Uncle Dwayne the Best Gaga Ever.”

  “Seriously?” I gave Dwayne a look and he just grinned and shrugged.

  “He only calls me that in public. At home I’m just Uncle Dwayne.”

  I laughed as I put Daniel on the ground and took his hand.

  “I have some very good friends I want you to meet. Would you like that?”

  “Yep,” he said as he pulled me toward the waiting group. “Is Seff over there?”

  “He is and he’s so excited to see you. His mom and his brother Nicolai are over there too.”

  “Awesome,” Daniel yelled and squeezed my hand. “Will they wike me?”

  “They’re going to love you,” I promised as we approached. “Guys, this is my son, Daniel.”

  I introduced him to Maria who was thankfully able to rein in her dirty mouth. Elaina and Lenny gave him warm hugs and promises of letting him fly on their backs. Daniel was wildly ecstatic that he had a new grandpa and a cousin. Maria cried and Lenny just beamed.

  Junior tossed my little man in the air and Seth took him in his arms and hugged him tight. The only one left was Nicolai. He stood off to the side not quite sure what to do. In the end he had to do nothing…four year olds were very good that way.

  “Who are you?” Daniel asked as he walked right over pointed at Nicolai with open curiosity.

  “Um…I’m Nicolai and I like your mommy a whole lot,” Nicolai said and held out his hand for a shake.

  “I wike my mommy too,” Daniel told him and then lifted his chubby arms for Nicolai to pick him up. “You is huge. When I gwow up I wanna be big as you.”

  “Well, you just have to eat right and…um, eat a lot,” Nicolai said and then rolled his eyes at his lame answer.

  Daniel didn’t seem to care a bit. He was quite impressed with the big Dragon’s reply.

  “How much do you wike my mommy?” Daniel inquired as he poked at Nicolai’s massive arm muscles.

  “I like your mommy a whole bunch. Is that okay with you?” Nicolai asked with a grin as he flexed to impress my boy.

  Daniel considered Nicolai’s statement seriously while he stared the deadly Dragon right in the eye. “I wike a lot of girwls and I ask them to mawry me. Will you ask my mommy to mawry you?”

  I closed my eyes and stifled my laugh, but I was the only one who held back. The rest of my friends found my son’s lack of candor quite amusing—including Nicolai.

  “I think that could definitely be arranged,” Nicolai said, swinging Daniel up onto his broad shoulders, much to my son’s delight. “In fact, maybe you should ask her for me. I might have a better chance of getting a yes.”

  “I can do that for you, Nicowai. My mommy needs a big stwong man cause sometimes she cwies,” Daniel whispered the way a four year old does…loudly.

  “Mommies cry sometimes, but how about I promise to only make her cry happy tears?” Nicolai suggested as he looked at me with so much adoration in his eyes that I almost proved my son correct by crying on the spot.

  My big bad Dragon was a total softy.

  “I think our little man needs a nap,” Granny said as she and Dwayne finished meeting the group. “Do you want us to keep him in our room?” she asked with waggling eyebrows.

  “Nope,” Nicolai said as he started off for his suite. “Our boy is coming with us.”

  “I’m gonna be big like Nicowai,” Daniel shouted as Nicolai trotted them off to the suite.

  Daniel was going to lose his mind when he saw the surprises that Nicolai had gotten.

  “Dima, I want to have a chat with you later today if you can find the time,” Lenny said as everyone went over to greet the Cows.

  “Of course.”

  “Meet me at two in your former suite. I’d like it very much for it to be just you and me.”

  “Not a problem, Len…Grandpa,” I mumbled awkwardly, trying to get used to the word.

  Lenny beamed and gave me a quick bow. “Till then,” he said and poofed away.

  Shaking my head at his oddities, I waved to the Cows who were holding court with the Dragons. The semi-terrified Dragons, some of whom were covertly holding their noses as a precaution, were doing their best to stand directly in front of the Cows. The visual of the constantly dodging Dragons as the Cows unloaded their gear was absurd.

  I turned and picked up my pace. I was ready to play trucks, trains and cars with my boys. Life couldn’t get much better than this very moment. I pushed aside the thought that tomorrow would be very different and decided to enjoy today to its fullest.

  Today was the first day of the very happy rest of my new life.

  Chapter 22


  After rousing games of Hide and Seek, Candy Land and Old Maid, we consumed an enormous amount of both macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake, compliments of the chefs in the mess hall. Daniel was so wiped out he couldn’t keep his eyes open. We had family time at warp speed and Nicolai kept up just fine. I hadn’t heard my big deadly Dragon laugh so much in the entire time I’d known him and Daniel was in heaven. He’d found a new hero to worship and followed Nicolai all over the suite, copying every one of his mannerisms.