by Abigail Agar
Chapter 6
As Walter sat across from Mary at the same table where he had revealed her father’s plans to her, he tapped his fingers together in a gesture which Mary was starting to believe indicated annoyance. Her heart raced merrily in her chest as she tried to work out exactly how she felt about that.
On the one hand, she had made it clear to Walter that she was not sure about this marriage arrangement at all, which was very brave of her. On the other hand, now she was about to face the consequences of that, and she had no idea what they might be.
She wished Charlotte were with her. With her sister by her side, she would be able to feel much stronger about everything, but of course, her poor sister had her own problems to deal with.
“What are you trying to say to me, Mary?” he asked sternly. “That you are not sure about the Duke or that you do not wish to marry him at all?”
I do not want to marry him, please do not make me marry that rude, arrogant man.
That was what she wanted to say, but it was not what she said aloud. She could clearly see that Walter had already grown irritated by her and did not want to make it worse.
“I am trying to tell you that I do not think he wishes to marry me,” she said, trying a different tactic. “He has not sent word that he wishes to meet again, has he? It has been almost a week. I would presume that I would know by now.” She kept her eyes wide and innocent, trying her best to disguise her glee. “You have not?”
“Things might not move that quickly,” Walter shot back. “He might well be considering his options just as much as you are. This will be a surprise to him just as it has been to you.”
“Oh, I know.” Mary stifled a smile. “I can understand that ... I just think it might be time to discuss the finer details to my father’s request. Did he set a time limit? Did he request that I marry someone else if I do not find the Duke appropriate? The last time we had a meeting regarding this, I did not feel as if I got all the information.”
Walter’s expression darkened. He did not like this newfound boldness within Mary. He had no idea what had made it surface, and it angered him greatly. He was the one in charge here; William had left him in control. He certainly did not expect all of this to cause him such a headache.
“Your father wanted you to get married to His Grace before your nineteenth birthday. Now while that might seem like it gives you plenty of time, it does not. Planning a wedding takes time, as does courtship. If this is something that you wish to pursue, then I suggest you start now.”
Mary’s face fell. She could feel hurt rolling through her body in waves. “So, it does have to be the Duke? He did not give me any other option?”
Walter pursed his lips tightly together. The constant stream of questions was only winding him up further. He did not even care to go into the finer details of William’s will, purely because he felt that he did not need to. “Mary, I believe that I have given you all the information that you need. What I require from you now is an answer. Maybe we have not heard from the Duke because he is waiting for you to contact him again. I could send out another request for a chaperoned meeting with him if you require?”
Mary gulped. Saying yes to this did not guarantee marriage. If anything, it would give her a clearer idea of what the Duke wanted, but if she said no – however much she wanted to say no – it would close the door on this completely, and she would have to leave and lose her home. Yes, she could go and stay with Charlotte, but that would only be temporary. That could not last forever. Her husband would not allow it.
“I suppose it would only be fair,” she answered in a raspy tone. “Yes.”
When Mary called this meeting, she felt like she would be in control of it. She had decided to tell Walter that the wedding was off the cards, and she had hoped that would be the end of it.
How naïve.
Now, as Walter grasped all of the control back from her, Mary found herself agreeing to see the very man she vowed never to see again for yet another horrible meeting. It would be awkward once more; she would have to listen to him bragging some more about his business. That was not what Mary wanted to hear.
“Yes, well I shall send him a letter today.” Walter looked smug as he glanced back down at his paperwork. “I shall arrange a second meeting where I think we need to discuss more serious things. I need to figure out what you both would like to do moving forward.”
Mary chewed anxiously on her bottom lip; she twiddled her fingers together in her lap. She knew that Walter returning to his work was an indication that she needed to leave, but she simply did not feel ready for that just yet. This meeting had gone in completely the wrong direction, and she wanted to rectify that.
“Is there something else, Miss Roberts?” The exasperation rolled off of Walter’s tongue in waves. “Have we not come to a conclusion for our meeting now?”
“I am just worried.” The words leapt out of her before she could really think them through. “I am concerned that I am about to lose everything, and there is nothing that I can do about it.”
She had to admit, this situation had brought out a stronger side to her. Mary had spent so much of her life being a quiet wallflower who did not dare speak out of turn. Mary assumed that it would always be that way, but now she knew she had to say how she felt or there would never be another chance..
She had become braver but would have traded that bravery for a continued easy life in a heartbeat.
Walter leaned back in his chair and stared intently at Mary. He could not quite believe how much of his time this was taking up. If he could grab hold of William now and shake him, he would. It was just a shame that he was in his grave enjoying an eternal slumber, escaping all of this drama.
“I cannot change your father’s wishes, Mary. I hope that you can understand that. It is not my job to change them, just to see them through. I do not know what it is that you wish me to do exactly?” He cocked his eyebrow, knowing that he had Mary in a corner. When she did not answer, he continued, “All I believe I can do is send a letter off to see what comes from it.”
“Yes.” Mary nodded, wondering how she had been shut down again. “Of course, thank you very much.”
She pushed her chair back and stood up, defeat slumping her shoulders forward. Walter did not say anything; he focused his eyes towards the desk. In his mind, he was desperately praying for Mary to leave before she could ask any more questions. He was thoroughly sick of talking to her. Much to his relief, he heard her footsteps making their way towards the door, but before he could fully succumb to that happiness, Mary did ask one final question.
“Did my father truly believe that I would be happy with the Duke? Is that why he did not give me any alternative? He does not seem to have given me any choices when it comes to whom I marry, and he has forced me to give up my home if I do not agree. Does that mean ...?” She paused thoughtfully and let her whole body slump in a way that was not usually considered polite. “Do you think that means he did not love me? Maybe he never cared about me at all.”
Walter’s eyes closed; this was starting to become his own personal hell. “Mary, I do not know what your father was thinking when he gave me these instructions. I cannot speak on his behalf ...”
“No, I understand,” she jumped in quickly, not wanting to go around in circles with Walter. “I am terribly sorry; I must be thinking aloud.” She glanced up at him through her eyelashes to see him giving her a very curious look. “Sorry, I shall leave now. Thank you for your time.”
Mary closed the door behind her with a click and walked rapidly down the hallways of her home towards her bedroom. Her heart thumped so loudly it was almost as if it was bouncing off the stone walls of her house rather than just her ribcage.
I am not quite sure what happened then, she thought desperately. But I do not believe that went well.
Mary stopped in her tracks as she stalked into her bedroom; she had been searching for some time alone, but there was a maid in her room straightening ou
t the light blue sheet that covered her bed. Horror struck her. She did not know what to say; the shyness that normally crippled her voice box came back with a vengeance. She wanted to turn on her heels and find somewhere else to get some alone time, but it was too late for that. The maid had already heard her.
“Oh, I am sorry,” she said. “I shall be out of your way in a moment if that is what you want.”
Mary sighed with relief. Daisy was actually a welcome sight. She was probably the only person in the world that she actually did not mind being in her bedroom at such a horrible moment of her life. “Oh no, it is fine. I shall just sit here.”
Mary watched Daisy work ... or so it seemed. She was not actually watching what Daisy was doing; she was examining her closely trying to work out just how much she could tell her. The young girl had given her no clue that she was not to be trusted, but Mary still felt anxious about letting anyone in. It was not common for a Lady to confide in a maid; it blurred the lines between the classes a little too much, but since her sister was not around, she found herself with little choice. It was Daisy or no one, and she did not think she could suffer in silence.
“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Daisy asked breezily as she worked. “You look like you have something on your mind.”
“Only the same as before.” Mary chuckled mirthlessly. “I am trying to work out the right thing to do with regards to this marriage.” She sighed deeply. “I thought that I had made up my mind, and I was all ready to sort things out with Walter, but things did not go to plan.”
Now that Mary was away from it all, she was starting to think that maybe Walter had manipulated her a little. He did not seem to answer any of her questions directly which was utterly infuriating. Maybe Mary was brave enough to speak out a little more, but she did not feel confident about yelling at the man.
“Has something changed?” Daisy did not want to sound too eager being embarrassed that she so desperately needed to know if her household position was safe. The last thing she wanted was for Mary to think that she was being callous and uncaring about her situation.
Daisy’s problem might have been different to Mary’s, on a completely different scale, but she felt that both their issues needed to be treated with equal severity.
“I think that there is not much option for me,” Mary admitted. “I believe I must marry the Duke. I do not see another way out.”
Daisy took a seat on the edge of the bed and stared at the Lady of the house, Guilt racked through her as she realised that she had probably impacted on this decision a little too much. “I am sorry, do you feel this way because of me and what I said about my job? Because I am sure we will all find work elsewhere if it comes to it ...”
“It is not just you; it is everything,” Mary admitted. “I am starting to feel like I am being backed into a corner.”
Daisy wished that she had some better advice to give Mary, but this was not something that she had any experience in. Nor could she be biased, which meant it was safer to say nothing.
“Maybe meeting with the Duke a second time will be a positive experience,” she offered hopefully. “It is always challenging to get to know a person based purely on first impressions. He could have been showing off, or maybe he was a little stiff from shyness.” Daisy hoped that she was not stepping out of line with this remark, but she felt it essential to say to get her point across. “Maybe you were not the best version of yourself either.”
“Hmm, maybe not,” Mary agreed with surprise. She had not been the best version of herself in an attempt to appear undesirable. Maybe if she acted differently the next time, then the results would be different too. “Maybe it will all work out alright.”
This time she really hoped that she could develop some true feelings for the Duke. If there were to be even a glimmer of hope that she could fall for him, it would be fine. She needed to love him now, even more so than before.
“Thank you for your advice, Daisy.” She smiled, a little happier now. “You have made me feel a whole lot better about everything.”
Daisy reached forward to hold onto Mary’s hand. “That is what friends are for.”
She did not know it when she said it, nor did she mean for it to happen, but Mary felt the pressure intensify. The heavy blocks on her shoulders were growing by the second; any minute now she would be unable to move under the pressure of it all. If Daisy was her friend, then she owed her the opportunity to keep her job and her life.
“I see you as a friend now too,” she whispered. “You have been very kind to me, and I hope that I do not let you down.”
Chapter 7
An orangey glow clung to the air as the candles flickered in the light breeze that raced through the ball hall. Men in their finest suits danced with ladies in their fanciest dresses to the music being played by the band situated in the corner of the room. The entire room had a magical feel to it, and there was a sense that anything could happen. It was an atmosphere that everyone was getting swept up in.
Well, almost everyone.
Duke Edmund Smith felt stiff and uncomfortable as he stood in the corner of the room, hiding out of sight as much as he could. His back was so straight it was almost as if he had a rod implanted into it. He knew that he should not have come to this silly event; he knew that it would not go as his mother hoped and could not quite believe that he had been tricked into this. It was like a meat market; everyone was on display. How could anyone enjoy such a thing?
“There are some incredibly beautiful women here,” the much older gentleman commented to Edmund. “I suppose it might be time to find myself a wife.”
Edmund’s eyes opened wider in shock. “You do not already have a wife?” He struggled to believe that a man who had at least a decade on him did not have a young wife at home.
“I was betrothed once, but I did not like the girl.” The man shrugged in a blasé manner. “I did not see there would be any issue. I have always been terribly busy with my business anyway, so I have hardly had time to notice my lack of wife. It is only my mother’s passing that has made me consider this more seriously.”
Edmund scanned his eyes over the crowd, wondering just how lonely he would become if he were to lose his mother. He adored his mother; she was the closest person to him. How lonely would he be when she was no longer around? He could not be so naïve as to believe that she would be around forever, however much he wanted that to be the case. Plus, his mother had made it very clear that she wanted him to find a wife. He did not want to be a disappointment to her.
Lady Mary Roberts had never had her mother; she must have been very lonely ...
Not that he was thinking about Mary. He shook his head to rid his brain of any thoughts of her. Edmund was quite sure what it was, but the more he tried to stop thinking about Lady Mary Roberts, the more she crept up into his brain when he was unaware. He did not know why; as far as he was concerned, he was done with her. He did not ever have to think of her again. Once he sent off his letter, cutting all ties, he could move forward with his life in whatever way he desired.
“What about you?” The gentleman interrupted his thoughts. “Do you have anyone in particular that you wish to be your wife?”
As Edmund looked over the crowd, he hoped that someone would stand out and catch his eye, but all he could see was an ocean of nameless faces. He did not know what any of these people were like, so why would he be interested in any of them?
“I do not know,” he replied glumly with his eyes on the ground now.
The gentleman chuckled loudly. “Then I suggest you get out on the dance floor and spend time with some of them.” He nudged Edmund as if they were old friends rather than two people who had only just met. “They all seem to have a lot of interest in you at any rate.”
Edmund had noticed the eyes upon him; he was acutely aware of the whispers that surrounded the ballroom about him, but they only served to make him even more uncomfortable. “Me, or my title? Me or my wealth?”
&n
bsp; The gentleman looked at him with blank eyes. “Is there any difference?”
There was not. Not really. Marriages set up were often of convenience. Lords picked Ladies based on their dowry offers and titles, and Ladies picked the men who could give them the best life. It was a hollow, empty way of finding a life partner.
“I think I shall get another drink before thinking about dancing,” Edmund said while moving away from his new friend. “I shall speak with you later.”
Edmund had not danced for a very long time. He had been given lessons when he was a young boy, just as everyone else, but he did not enjoy them so did not care to remember the steps. He did not want to be humiliated now if he was the only person who did not know how to move properly.
He got so wrapped up in his worries that he was not really concentrating on where he was going. Edmund’s eyes were on the ground rather than his destination, which caused him to walk right into someone else.