by Abigail Agar
Charlotte’s eyes widened as she saw her husband standing there in front of her for the first time in days. It was almost as if he knew that she was thinking about leaving him. As their eyes locked, he did not say a word, but she could see the apology in his eyes. She knew that he was sorry ... but he always was. He never said it, but she knew that he always was. Then again it did not make any difference, did it? He was always sorry, and his behaviour did not change.
This is my moment, she thought as she looked at him. I need to decide now.
Lord Jones was much older than her and not handsome when she met him. She did not agree with her father’s decision to make her wed him, but she went along with it because she knew that she had to. She did not have any choice. Now as she saw him, he was even uglier than before, there was nothing attractive about him. He really did make her feel sick.
“What do you want?” she asked coldly as her eyes fixed to the floor. “I do not think that we have anything to say to one another, do we?”
Lord Jones reached out and rubbed his arm down Charlotte’s arm. She flinched away from him, hating the feel of his skin against hers. He let his hand flop back down by his side deflated. He knew that he had done a terrible thing; Charlotte could see it, and she could see that he probably did not think that he would do it again ... but he would.
“We cannot remain this way forever, can we?” he almost whined. “We need to sort this out, eventually. Do you not think?”
Charlotte screwed up her nose; she did not want to sort it out. Maybe there was a chance that with her husband in front of her, he could turn her mind around, but actually, even with his soft-spoken tones, he was pushing her further away. Now, more than ever, she wanted to leap into the carriage that Duke Smith had arranged and leave forever more.
“I do not see where we can go from here.” Charlotte took a step backwards. “I do not think that this is repairable.”
Lord Jones could not understand at all what was going on here. He did not recognise what Charlotte was trying to say to her. “So what are you suggesting? Would you like me to continue giving you some space? Do you think it will take more time?”
Charlotte shook her head as she continued to move backwards. “I do not know,” she said quietly. “I do not know how long it will take. I think I need some real space. I think ...” She was scared to say it, but she needed to at least try to do this rationally. Maybe Lord Jones would just understand, and this would be simple. She did not know if this was possible, but she had to at least give it a try. “I think I need to go away for a while to get my head together.”
“What?” Lord Jones turned a funny shade of red. He stepped closer and grabbed onto Charlotte’s arms too hard, already going back on his inner promise not to hurt his wife again. “What do you mean? What will everyone think if my wife just vanishes into thin air?”
“Is that all you care about?” Charlotte hissed, yanking herself way. “All you are concerned about is everyone else? Who cares what they think of us, our marriage is just for us is it not?”
Lord Jones did not have anything to say to that. He could not fathom what Charlotte was saying. Of course their marriage was in the public domain, it was no different to everyone else. It was the courtesans on the side that were kept secret and only discussed between the men. He could not understand what would happen next. He needed to make things right with Charlotte and did not have any choice.
“Charlotte, you are being so ridiculous. I cannot believe what you are even saying here. You cannot leave; that just is not possible. We have to just get past this and move on. We have our baby coming.” He reached forward to touch her belly, but Charlotte batted him away. “We need to sort out these problems in our marriage.”
Charlotte could not hear his words anymore; they were cutting through her like a knife. She stomped past her husband, practically knocking him out of the way as she went, and she moved back into the same room as Mary. Her sister was pressed up against the door, so she knocked her backwards as she did, but Charlotte hardly noticed that.
“I am ready for this,” she declared fiercely. There was no longer a fog inside her brain; she had never felt more crystal clear in her entire life. “We are going to do this.”
“We are?” Mary’s heart raced again. She expected Charlotte to come in here to tell her to go alone again, which would have left Mary speechless. She would not have known what to do from there. But now she was hearing everything that she wanted to hear, and it made her anxious. “Yes,” she said much more firmly. “Yes, we are.”
“I shall go and get my stuff together now. I need to pack right away.”
Mary grabbed gently onto her sister’s arm, twisted her around and pulled her to look at her. “Charlotte, are you sure about this? You are not acting out of anger? And how will you get your things together with Lord Jones around?”
Charlotte did not like her sister’s assumption. “I know exactly what I am doing,” she hissed. “This is what I want now. I am certain. My husband will be back into his office now, hiding away until he thinks that I have calmed down from my temper tantrum.”
Mary let Charlotte go, hoping that she was doing the right thing. It seemed that they were really going now ... on to a new life.
Chapter 30
The darkness shrouded Mary as she moved as quietly as a mouse through the house. She only had a small bag with her, and she was wearing her least fancy dress just because it was practical. Mary was not concerned with what she looked like; she was just worried about what was going to happen next.
“Charlotte?” she whispered as she saw a shadow moving along the hallway. She hoped that it was because anyone else could spell trouble. “Is that you?”
“It is.” Mary’s heart flooded with relief. Thank God. It seemed that Charlotte was still on board. A lot of time had passed now, and Charlotte had been given plenty of time to calm down from her rage earlier on, so if she still wanted to go, then she had to really mean it. “I do not have much with me; I hope that this is alright.”
“I do not know,” Mary confessed. “I am sure that it will be fine. I do not have much with me either.”
The girls looked at one another through the blackness of the night, both lost in their individual concerns about what the future held for them. Charlotte felt calm; there was a sense of justice about her now after her conversation with her husband, and she was ready to go. She was just concerned about where they would end up now. Mary was frightened, far more scared than Charlotte which was ironic considering everything. She trusted Duke Smith and where he would take them, but the journey to get there frightened her.
Still, it was too late now. There was no turning back. They had to get moving now; it was the only way.
“Come on then.” Mary linked her arm through Charlotte’s and pulled her towards the door. “Let us go; it is almost midnight.”
Opening the front door was not an easy experience for either of them. They desperately did not want to wake up anyone in the house, and their nerves gave them shaky fingers. Dealing with an iron lock when they could not keep still, never mind see, was not an easy task.
“I just hope we do not have to come back in,” Charlotte admitted quietly. “I hope that His Grace does not let us down.”
Mary was confident that he would not. She had full faith in Edmund. He would not make them risk so much to let them down. He knew that it would not be easy to escape this house at this time of the night, so he would ensure that the carriage was there. “We will be fine,” she reassured her sister. “The carriage will be there; we just need to get outside.”
Charlotte nodded, trusting her sister, and she focused her attention on getting the door open. She wanted to feel the cool brisk air of the night; she needed to see the moonlight, she needed that – it would make her feel safe.
Finally, with a little force, the door swung open, only it made a lot of noise in doing so, which caused both girls to freeze on the spot. They sucked in and held their breath
as their limbs froze. They listened intently, both hoping and praying that no one would hear them. It was a loud sound, but it was the middle of the night. With a bit of luck, everyone would be fast asleep ...
“I think we got away with that,” Mary said quickly. “Come on, we need to go.”
Charlotte hesitated, but only for a second. She wanted to get going; she knew that this was the right thing to do, but at the same time, this had been her life for a very long time. She needed just a tiny second to say a mental goodbye to it. Not all of it was good, in fact, most of it was not, but it had still been her life for a long while.
Now it was on to brighter pastures.
“I think I see it,” Mary whispered as she stepped forward to the street. “It is down the end, so we need to be quick. I just hope that no one has heard it.” It was possible, but if Edmund was true to his word, then it would hardly matter by the time they had gone. “Come on, we need to go now.”
Charlotte picked up the pace and moved until she was next to Mary. As she walked, she kept her eyes fixed on the ground so she could not see anyone. Even if they were heard and any of the people around looked out their windows, she hoped that she would not be recognised. With her head down and her arms folded across her chest to keep the cold away from her body, she hoped that she would just look like she was a random woman ... out in the middle of the night ... moving quickly, looking suspiciously like she was running away.
Charlotte did not listen in as Mary spoke to the driver; she took her seat and breathed deeply trying to cool down her racing heart and her ragged lungs. Her whole body was cold with shock, but still there was nothing in her that wanted to turn back. Despite all the confusing emotions that were swirling around in her body, there was still a weight lifted from her shoulders. She was still shaking off her horrible husband and protecting her baby which was all that she ever wanted.
“Right.” Mary looked a little bewildered as she jumped in next to Charlotte. “We are going now.”
“Do you know where we are going?” Charlotte asked quietly. “Is that what you found out from the driver?”
“He would not tell me anything,” Mary admitted. “But it is alright. We will be with Edmund soon, and he will finally reveal all. The driver did say that it will not take us long to get there.”
As the carriage moved through the city, both girls fell into silence. They knew that wherever they were headed, they would be taken away from everything that they had ever known, but they still were not sure what fate awaited them. They both had images of the countryside floating through their minds, the simpler life that did not incorporate all the same rules as the city. Mary did wonder how Edmund could conduct his business from so far away, but he had assured her that he could do it. She was inclined to believe that. He was smart, and he had made a massive success of himself. If he thought that he could do something, then that was so.
It was not long until the carriage came to a halt, which made Mary immediately bolt upright. All that she wanted to do now was see Edmund. She felt safer knowing that she was headed towards him but could not fully relax until she actually saw him. She needed to know that he was there.
“Edmund,” she gushed as her eyes fell upon him. He had been handsome every single time that she saw him but never as much as he was at that moment. Her heart skipped numerous beats as she spotted him. She raced towards him so quickly that she did not even think to look around to see where she was. “Oh, my goodness, I am so happy to see you.”
She wrapped her arms tightly around him and squeezed. She clung to him and buried her face deep into his chest so that she could inhale every part of his scent. Her shoulders relaxed, the tension rolled off of her in waves; there was someone else to take control of the situation, and that was wonderful.
“Where are we? What is happening?” Finally, she pulled back to take a look around. It was only then that she noticed the giant crates surrounding them and the sounds of the water flickering in her ears. “Are we at the docks?”
“We are.” Edmund smiled as he tucked a strand of Mary’s hair behind her ear. He had feared that the girls would not show; he was scared that something would happen to keep them away from him, but they were here now. Everything was finally going to happen. Everything that he had been working towards for a while now was about to come true. “I have invested in a new line of business that means we can use a ship to escape.”
“We are leaving the country?” Mary gushed in shock. “Are you serious?”
“Of course. How much further can we go to escape Lord Jones? If we leave the country, he can never find Charlotte or the baby. They will be safe forever.”
Mary was amazed. She trusted Edmund and knew that he would look after them, but this was going above and beyond anything she could have ever hoped for. They would be somewhere else entirely, meaning they would have real freedom. It was amazing.
“I knew that you worked in international trade, but I did not know that you would be able to make this happen.”
Edmund’s hand did not stop brushing down Mary’s hair. It was almost as if he could not stand to stop touching her for even a second – as if he thought she might vanish if he did. “I have now opened up a new line of trade that I can manage from wherever in the world. I have worked out all the details, so this will be fine.”
“Where are we going?” Mary asked quietly. “Can I at least know that much?”
“Of course you can now.” Edmund stepped backwards and extended his arm to indicate his giant new ship. “We are going to America.”
Charlotte had been listening in to the conversation even if she was not really supposed to. She was just as desperate as Mary to know what was happening and could not hold back to hear it second-hand. The word America shook her to the core; she felt terrified. A part of her assumed that they would be going somewhere in the country where she could change her mind if she really wanted to – not that she thought she would – but leaving the country and going somewhere brand new would mean that she could not turn back. She would have to settle into her new life and stay there for good.
“America,” she said breathily. “I cannot believe it.”
Upon hearing her words, Mary let go of Edmund and joined her sister. She took her hands and stared into her eyes. She searched for any moment of regret in Charlotte’s gaze because the last thing that she wanted was to push her sister into something that she was not ready for. She knew that this was the right thing to do, but at the same time, it was a massive step. She did not want it to be something that she later regretted.
“Are you sure that this is what you want to do?” she gushed. “I know that it is a huge step, more than either of us was expecting, and I do not want it to be something that upsets you. You do have your baby to think about, after all.”
Charlotte rubbed her belly with a serene smile on her face. The idea of not knowing about the land, the culture, the lifestyle of where they were going appealed to her. Maybe the Americans would not have so many crazy rules to abide by; maybe the men would be calmer and more relaxed, and maybe her baby would be allowed to grow up in a world where there were no expectations.
“That is why I want to do this,” she said to Mary while taking a step towards the ship. “That is why I know that this is the best thing for the both of us. A new life, a new country; I will be somewhere that my husband can never find me. It shall be perfect.” She did not ever think that her journey of running away would take her quite so far, but that did not have to be a bad thing. “Come on, let us go.”
Mary gave Edmund a bemused but happy look. She expected it to be much more of a fight than that to get Charlotte aboard, but she was happy to go. She wanted to leave, which meant that Mary now had to go too. Although with Edmund’s fingers sliding into her hand and her heart warming up with glee, it did not seem like it would be such a scary move after all. She had never assumed that she was the sort of woman who would go on an adventure, yet here she was leaving England and moving halfwa
y across the world with only a small bag to her name.
“Charlotte and I are going to need a lot of new things when we get to America,” she told Edmund with utter seriousness. “We did not bring much with us; we did not know that we would be going to America.”
“Everything you have might not work anyway,” Edmund replied smilingly. “We do not know what the fashions are like in America. They might dress totally differently.”
Mary glanced down at herself, wondering what sort of things they would wear in America. Maybe they did not wear the tight corsets to create the perfect silhouette; maybe they did not even wear dresses. Anything was possible, which was very exciting. Maybe women were even allowed an opinion in America, and perhaps they could have jobs and lives of their own. Maybe they would not even mind if Charlotte was a seemingly unwed mother of one ...