“So he's your get out of jail free card, eh?” I asked, remembering the comment she'd made. “Too funny!”
“So how do you know Alan?” she asked, sounding casual. I couldn't help but feel like there was the slightest tension around her mouth when she asked.
“Well,” I started with a giggle, “this was a pretty good re-enactment of how we met, actually. I literally ran into him one day a few blocks over. I'm terribly oblivious sometimes.”
“She was distracted,” Officer Beauchamp said, looking down at his wife. “She saw the police tape from one of the murders when she was looking down the alley. I think it startled her.”
“Oh, no!” Kristy gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. “Was it near where you live?”
“Yes,” I replied with a sad smile.
“Did you know her?”
“No,” I started, not wanting to lie outright. “She was familiar though, like I'd seen her before. Maybe she'd been in the store some time.”
Seeming satisfied with the innocence of Alan and my relationship, she changed the subject.
“So when did you want to grab lunch?” she asked, her eyes hopeful.
“Well, the next few days are going to be killers for me,” I said, trying to buy myself time. “Maybe late next week?”
I felt bad knowing that I wouldn't follow up with her. She'd probably take it personally, questioning what she'd said or done, as I would have done in her position. She seemed like a sensitive person; her energy felt fragile, insecure. I forced a smile to sell my performance.
“Sounds good,” she said, looking perkier than before. “Just give me a call when things look a little less grim.”
Less grim indeed.
“It's a date,” I agreed. “I hate to run off, but I have some things at home to deal with and they're kind of pressing in nature. Good to see you, Officer Alan. I'll try not to actually run into you next time.” That comment earned me a chuckle from the formidable man. “And I'll talk to you next week some time,” I said to Kristy, hating my inner liar as I did it.
“Bye, Ruby,” they said simultaneously, before turning to each other and laughing at their jinx. He looked at her with such admiration that even I could see that he clearly loved her. She had no reason to be insecure.
“See you soon,” I called out over my shoulder, wanting to get home before my facade crumbled.
I walked as quickly as I could in my flip-flop assassins, drinking my water, clutching my box of baked goods, and praying that my day was going to look up sooner than later. I wasn't excited about having to nurse Cooper's hurt feelings, but it needed to be done. Whatever issues he had, they needed to be put out on the table and dealt with. Closure was needed in as many things as I could before the Elders arrived, if they hadn't already. I wanted to face my death with as squeaky clean a conscience as possible. And it was time for some spring cleaning.
* * *
Crashing his room unannounced and unwelcome didn't seem to be appreciated, given the look he gave me when he popped his head up gopher-style on the far side of the bed.
“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.
“Cleaning. You should try it some time.”
“We need to talk.”
“No, apparently you need to talk. I need to find where my other sneaker wandered off to,” he said with a lot of attitude.
I stormed out of his room into mine and rifled through my closet until I found the blue and orange Puma in question. It somehow had landed in my laundry basket at some point and had taken up residence in my closet ever since. Stalking back into his room, I chucked the shoe at him under the bed.
“Mission accomplished,” I snapped, fisting my hands on my hips for emphasis. “Now we can talk, or at least you can listen.”
“What's got your panties in such a twist?” he asked, pushing himself off of the floor.
“What's got your panties in such a twist?” I deflected. He knew damn well what I was talking about. He wasn't getting out of it.
“You really want to know?” he asked, moving toward me.
“No, I just thought I'd ask for shits and giggles.”
“You're unbelievable sometimes, you know that?” he shouted, pushing past me and out of his room. I chased him to the kitchen. “You know what you are? You're selfish.”
“Selfish?” I cried.
“Yes. S-E-L-F-I-S-H, selfish. Would you like the definition? To be excessively or exclusively concerned with oneself. Selfish,” he mocked, his face turning a light shade of red. “I could use it in a different sentence for you if that would help.”
“No, I know what it means. I just have no clue why you think that's me.”
“Really? You have no clue?” he asked, his hands white-knuckling the countertops. “Or maybe you just haven't put much thought into it...probably because you're self absorbed and self-serving at the moment. That's weird...that sounds like the definition of selfish.”
“Oh, I'm so sorry that I'm absorbed with the PC trying to frame/kill me and crazy rogue wolves with bizarre agendas planting visions in my head,” I snarled, cocking my head to the side condescendingly. “I can't believe that I've been so blind. Please, tell me, how has your day been?”
“You can be such a bitch,” he said, pushing past me yet again. Our apartment wasn't big enough to get much space from one another. The bathroom was the best place to lock yourself in for privacy and that was exactly where he was headed. I got my foot in the door before he slammed it shut, but it cost me. The sharp pain shot up through my leg and took my breath away for a moment before I let out a shriek.
“Fine. I'm a bitch," I conceded, hoping to move things along more quickly. "But you're the one acting like a bitch. Do you have your period? Is your vagina hurting? Seriously, what's your deal?” I asked, pushing the door open. My yelp had prompted him to stop closing it, but he hadn't apologized.
“Is this payback?” he asked me seriously. “I thought you said you weren't mad at me for what happened with the drugs and all that, but it sure feels like you're trying to stick it to me in every way that you can right now.”
I was at a loss and felt blindsided, never having seen that outburst coming. I stopped and thought about the last week to see where he could be coming from, but I kept coming up with nothing—I just didn't get it.
I opted to try a different approach.
“Cooper, I have no idea what you're talking about,” I said with a yearning to understand him. “Please. Talk to me. I don't like seeing you like this.”
“How can you not see it, Ruby?”
“I don't know, Coop, but I want to. Please, tell me why you're hurting so much.”
His brow furrowed heavily as he looked down at the floor, head hanging slightly as though defeated. I stepped up to him trying to hijack his line of sight, tipping my head slightly to the side and reaching it forward, just beneath his. When his gaze met mine, I smiled tentatively at him. I took his face in my hand gently and lifted his head up to the horizon again.
“Please?” I whispered softly, still holding his face in my hand.
“This isn't' easy,” he said, pulling my hand away. “I didn't think this would happen.”
“What, Cooper? What happened?”
He looked down at me with soft, saddened eyes.
“You. You happened.”
I looked at him dumbfounded. His statement was vague and enigmatic, and I needed some serious clarification before I started to make more of what he'd said than I should.
“Meaning?” I asked, hoping to lead him to tell me more.
“Meaning you're a force of nature, Ruby. Anything in your path gets caught up in your energy and taken for a ride,” he explained weakly. “Sometimes it's not an easy storm to weather.”
“Yep. Still lost over here,” I said with a dash of sarcasm and a healthy helping of truth. “You're going to have to just lay it out there, Cooper. I'm well aware that anywhere I go there are casualties of war. I don't need a reminder of t
hat. I'm up to my eyeballs in it on a regular basis. More than you can know.”
“But that's the thing, Ruby. I want to know...I need to know,” he said, pleading with me. “The more you're in danger, the less I sleep. The less you tell me, the more frustrated and obsessed I become. It's different now, ever since Greg—”
He stopped himself with the mere mention of his name. I could see in his eyes that the trauma he'd suffered the night I was nearly eviscerated was still fresh. He looked away quickly, but I grabbed his face and turned it to me. I wanted to see his pain.
I needed to.
I needed to recognize it so it wouldn't go unnoticed again. The pain I felt coming off of him, accompanying his expression was piercing—right through my heart. Right where he was feeling it.
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pressed my cheek to his chest. “I'm fine, Cooper. He's gone. He can't hurt me anymore.”
“No,” he snapped, pushing me away and holding me at arm’s length to look me in the eyes. “He can't, but so many others can, Ruby. And the thought of it makes me crazy.”
“I'm not helpless, Coop,” I whispered, trying to alleviate his anxiety.
“I know that,” he said, softening his grip. “Scarlet is your saving grace, but she's unpredictable, and you know as well as I do that she's been caught with her pants down before. Your vulnerability and lack of survival instincts could be your undoing, Rubes, regardless of Scarlet's presence. Until you two are fully integrated, I will always be afraid for you.”
“You can't always be there to keep me safe, Cooper.”
“I know,” he replied with distaste, “I'm all too aware of that.”
“You're starting to sound like Sean,” I said with a whisper of a laugh.
“Ha,” he scoffed, “maybe that would earn me some favor then.”
“Favor?” I queried. “Is that what this is really about? Is your nose out of joint because you think you're playing second fiddle?”
“No, Ruby. I don't think I'm playing second fiddle—I know it,” he growled, eyes flashing contempt. “I was just thinking that reminding you of him may help lessen the gap.”
“But why is that so important to you?” I asked, fearing where the conversation was headed.
“Because you love him, Ruby.”
“And I love you too!” I cried in response, before the reality of what he meant settled in on me. My face gave me away yet again.
“Aha, so now you see the dilemma,” he said, with a hint of anger in his voice.
“Cooper,” I whispered, reaching my hand out for him. I didn't know what to say.
“Don't give me your pity face, Ruby. I can't stand it. Not about this.”
“I love you,” I repeated, my voice catching in my throat, “I just never...I didn't see this...”
“I know, Ruby. That's why I didn't say anything,” he replied as the tears spilled over onto my cheeks. “It's not your fault. I've changed. You just haven't changed with me.”
“What changed?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face.
His expression was tight and pained, but thoughtful at the same time. It was clear that he'd been thinking a lot about this and hadn't had the opportunity to share his feelings with me because of how crazy life had become, yet again. Maybe I was as selfish as he'd said I was. A friend should have noticed.
“I haven't felt like I had a real home for a long time, Ruby. I've had one ever since I met you and started living here,” he explained, taking my hand in his. “But that's not what changed things. What started off as friendship and flirting has evolved for me. When you saw me through that dark time and forgave me for all I said and did to you, I saw you in a different light. When I found you that day in your shop, a breath away from death, something in me snapped.”
“Is that why you've seemed so serious and protective of me since?” I asked, thinking of the odd things he'd said and done since the attack.
“I guess. When I told Gregory that he'd never hurt what was mine again, I meant it. That's how I see you,” he said solemnly, “and not in some Neanderthalish way, so don't freak out. We're bonded, Ruby, plain and simple. It may not be a mate bond, but it's a bond nonetheless.”
“Are you sure it isn't just the culmination of all the drama we've experienced together? That can forge a strong bond...I've seen things about it on TV.”
“No, Ruby. That isn't it.”
“Maybe it's just, you know...what happened last night?” I suggested sheepishly.
“No,” he said, lifting my chin to look him in the face, “that has nothing to do with it. That was going to happen eventually with someone, and I'm glad it was me, but that has nothing to do with how I felt about you. This does.”
He bent his head towards me, placing his lips gently on mine. He kissed me softly at first, taking my face in his hands to brush his thumbs along my cheeks. It soon thereafter turned into me kissing him back. I wasn't doing it because he'd startled me or to satisfy the needs of my wolf, but because I wanted to. It felt warm and safe. It felt like home should feel.
I indulged myself, succumbing to the safety that kiss provided. Cooper was right—I was selfish.
When I sobered to the potential consequences of what I was doing, I stopped immediately, gently pulling myself down away from his face. I turned away as I took a deep breath, cleansing the hormone rush that was raging. Suddenly needing some space from him, I started to walk out of the room.
“You can't run away from this, Ruby,” Cooper called after me, unmoving. “I felt you. I know this isn't one sided.”
“Cooper, stop. Please,” I sniffled, clutching my head as I escaped to my room, crying. “I can't deal with this right now.”
“So don't. But you will have to eventually.”
“No, I won't,” I whispered.
“Yes, Ruby, you will. This isn't going to just go away.”
I felt like I was going to burst. My facade of normalcy was deteriorating rapidly, and my resolve to hold it together was fading. As much as I wanted to keep Cooper in the dark about my impending doom, I couldn't. Not if it meant more lies and omissions between us.
“But it is!” I cried, turning back to the bathroom. “I'm going to die, Cooper, and I can't stand to leave things this way. Don't abandon me to make this choice. I need you. I've always needed you, Cooper, even before I met you. You're my rock. Don't crumble out from beneath me now.”
He weathered my outburst like an old pro, probably because he'd become one by that point.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, coming out to meet me.
“The Elders. They're coming to take out Sean, and you and I both know what will happen if they succeed.”
Judging by the look on his face he knew all too well what that meant.
“Who told you that?” he asked, skin paling.
“Sophie.”
“Well, why you would listen to that b—”
“Sean has somewhat confirmed it,” I said, protesting his objection. “They are coming, of that there is no doubt, though the why seems a little fuzzy still. The way I understand it, they're going to take me out any way you slice it.”
“Try,” he said dryly.
“What?”
“They will try to take you out,” he said, with a tone and energy to his voice that rattled me for a moment. “We will see how successful their efforts are.”
“No, Cooper, I want you to stay out of this one.”
“Never going to happen, Ruby. I won't stand by and watch.”
“Cooper, please,” I pleaded, “it's a losing battle. I want as little carnage on my conscience as possible.”
“And I won't have your death on mine,” he snarled, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly.
“You're a stubborn ass!” I snapped.
“Takes one to know one!” he shouted in return.
We stared at each other in silence for a moment, realizing we were at an impasse. He would march right into the fiery pits of hell with me,
whether I liked it or not. I didn't deserve that display of loyalty, but it appeared I was getting it no matter what.
“Would it help if I told you I was leaving you the car?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. “The apartment too?”
“Maybe,” he replied, smiling his boyish grin. “Are they paid off?”
“In full, at time of purchase.”
“Hm,” he sighed, scratching his chin for effect. “That does change things.”
“I thought so,” I joked, before my face went serious again. “Cooper, I need you to take care of Peyta. She needs someone to look out for her. She can't lose both of us. I don't think she'd recover well from that, if at all.”
“You're right,” he agreed, his mouth pressed tightly into a straight line. “I didn't think of that.”
“Well, that's why I'm in charge around here and not you,” I said, hitting him in the arm before hugging him tightly.
“I'm not going to let you just blow over this one, Ruby. Not like you usually do,” he informed me. “You know what I said is true. There are feelings there, and, when all of this is over and you're still very much alive, we will have to deal with them.”
“I see that,” I said, thinking that death would be such a tidy way to get out of that conversation.
“Can I still have the car?” he asked, his grin returning.
“Not a snowball's chance in hell, Cooper. Not while I'm alive...I've seen you drive.”
“It was worth a shot.”
“I'd have done the same thing,” I added. “You can't get something if you never ask for it.”
“No,” he said soberly, “you sure can't.”
I gave him a quick squeeze and got out of the room as quickly as possible. Despite my follicular colorings, even I caught the double meaning in his statement. Cooper was at his most dangerous for me when he cast those intense eyes my way. Getting out of the line of fire was always the best coping method. A locked bedroom door between the two of us never hurt either.
Framed Page 17