by Lynda Aicher
Her focus landed on Noah, who was leaning over Tyler’s bed to flick the bell on the end of Allie’s elf hat, his teasing laugh reaching out to her like a beacon sent to torment her. There was an unexpected lightness to his actions, something she’d never have imagined him doing even a month ago.
The bigger things like the gardening and the jeans he wore with a sport coat today instead of a suit stood out the most. There were also little things though. Like the easier smiles and relaxed posture or the longer haircut that left that curl on his temple all the time.
She took a deep breath and grabbed her purse off the floor, mouthed bathroom to her sister when V caught her eye then hurried down the hall before anyone could join her. The grin hurt her cheeks as she passed the nurses’ station and headed for the elevators.
The ride to the ground floor seemed to take forever when it was only seconds before the doors were sliding open. A glance toward the exit showed snowflakes dancing in the lights outside, providing the perfect end to a Christmas day.
She spun away and strode down the hall in the opposite direction with no destination in mind. Her boots thumped softly on the tile and she folded her arms around her to keep the sudden chill at bay. People passed her—doctors, nurses, others like her—but she only noticed them in her peripheral thoughts as she walked.
After so many weeks of her being there, the layout of the large hospital was pretty much imprinted in her mind. Which was why when she finally looked up, she was startled to realize she was in the hallway just outside of the ER.
Her gaze went to the chairs where she and Noah had waited for that first bit of news on their friends. The memory triggered the emotions of loss, fear and worry that flushed her skin and sent her stomach knotting into a cramped hold before she blew out a long breath and let it go.
The irony had her tipping her head back with a sigh. Had the destination been intentional? A part of her subconscious taking her back to where her fall for Noah had started?
The ache appeared in her throat at the simple thought of him. He was getting better, moving on from his past. She could see that, even if he hadn’t specifically said it. That was good. She was honestly happy for him, but it didn’t seem like it was bringing him back to her.
She shook her head at her foolishness. Casual conversations, a few kisses and a pair of jeans didn’t mean he was ready for a relationship. She knew that, had been telling herself that exact same thing for weeks. It still didn’t make it any easier to accept.
“The nurse said she called the taxi, Mom.”
What? Her head snapped around at the familiar voice to see Jimmy standing with his hand resting on the worn gray coat of his mother, who was sitting. The faded pattern of hockey sticks and pucks were splashed across the legs of his pajama bottoms and looked at odds with his winter boots and coat.
Liv was moving before she thought about it. “Jimmy?”
He spun around, mouth wide in shock. His mother straightened, her expression flat as she tucked her arm closer to her chest. The sling was easy to spot beneath the hastily clasped coat front.
“Is everything okay?” she asked as she approached. She slowed then stopped more than a few feet from them. The tension from the two was almost a physical force that kept her back. “Did something happen, Mrs. Johnson?”
“We’re fine,” Jimmy answered for her, his grin wide but pinched. “It was just an accident.”
Her heart sank at the common excuse. “That’s horrible,” she managed to say, her voice withholding her disbelief. “Is there anything I can do? Give you a ride home, maybe?”
“We’re good.” Jimmy clenched his mother’s shoulder, and she nodded.
“Mrs. Johnson?” Liv met the woman’s eyes and saw the fear lined with resignation that was too familiar.
The woman didn’t even bother to try and smile. “I’m fine. Thank you.” Her years of endurance were worn into the deep lines around her mouth and eyes. Her short hair stuck up on the side like she hadn’t brushed it that morning and drew Liv’s attention to the bruise that was starting to darken along her lower cheek and jaw.
Jimmy edged in front of his mother, chin raised. “Our taxi will be here soon.” Behind his bravado, she saw the plea that could’ve been for help, but wasn’t. This wasn’t a new scenario or one she was likely to change tonight, no matter how much she wanted to do so.
The options wavered in Liv’s mind before she gave the brave boy a slow nod. His shoulders sagged on a visible exhale and he stepped back to lay a protective arm around his mother’s shoulders.
Liv dug into her purse and pulled out one of the women’s shelter cards she always kept with her. She held it out, snapping it away when Jimmy reached for it until Mrs. Johnson took it. “My number’s on the back. You can call me anytime.”
The woman nodded and cupped the card in her hand without looking at it. The chances of the card making it back to their apartment were slim. Most likely it’d be left in the cab or a trash bin so her husband wouldn’t find it.
“Do you have cab money?”
Jimmy dipped into his pocket and held out a twenty dollar bill. “Will this be enough? The doctor gave it to us.” Concern kinked his brow. He bit his lip and slipped the money back into his pocket. “Mom forgot her purse.”
More likely their escape was too rushed to grab it, or his father had hidden it from them. She found another twenty in her wallet and handed it over. “Just to be safe,” she said as he snatched it from her and quickly stuffed it away.
A horn beeped, and they turned to see the yellow cab waiting outside the sliding glass doors.
“That must be for us.” Jimmy helped his mother stand. “Thanks for the money, Ms. Liv. I’ll get it back to you as soon as I can.”
“No,” she quickly said. “Consider it a gift.” His face fell at the reminder of the day. She closed her eyes and mentally kicked herself for the slip before shooting him a soft smile. “Will you be safe until the center reopens on Monday?”
Mrs. Johnson swayed on her feet, and Jimmy tucked his arm around her waist to support her. He was only a few inches shorter than his petite mother, and Liv had to fight the urge to hunt down the bastard who thought it was okay to beat up on her.
“We’re going to my sister’s in the morning,” Mrs. Johnson said.
Liv wasn’t sure if she believed the woman, but she hoped it was true. “Good. I hope you feel better soon.” The way the woman hobbled to the taxi said there were more injuries than a sprained arm.
She fisted a hand over her mouth and blinked back the frustrated tears that surfaced. The laws of compulsory reporting didn’t extend to adults and so far, she’d never found any evidence of physical abuse on Jimmy. God only knew how much verbal abuse the kid took.
Unfortunately, she’d learned early on that reporting every incident of abuse wasn’t a blank ticket to doing the right thing. All too often, it only resulted in worsening the situation instead of helping it.
She waited for the cab to pull away before she made her way back to the other wing. Each step was a leaden weight that sapped the last of her strength before she was halfway back to the elevator she needed. Going up to the room full of happy couples had her dreading the effort it’d take to fake her emotions. She simply didn’t have the energy to paste on a smile for everyone.
The cold air hit her the second she stepped outside. She shivered while embracing the shock that helped to wipe away enough of her melancholy to get her to her car. Her teeth were chattering before she slammed the door closed and got the heat going. Everything except her purse was still upstairs in the hospital room. Either someone would grab it, or it’d be there when she went back. For now, all she could think about was getting away from there.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Noah stepped into the hallway to check for Liv one more time. She’d been gone for over half an hour, and his trip to the lobby earlier had come up empty. Maybe it was crazy to worry, but it wasn’t like her to disappear like this.
V frowned and glanced at the clock. “I thought the bathroom, but that was a while ago.”
She pulled out her phone and typed in a quick text he assumed was to Liv. He’d done that fifteen minutes ago and was still waiting for a reply. Apprehension wavered on his nape with the little dancing hairs that never failed to warn him of trouble.
“Her purse is gone, but her other stuff is still here.” Noah opened the closet door, knowing the answer before he found the proof. “Even her coat.”
“This isn’t like her,” V mumbled, confirming Noah’s assessment. She moved into the hall and held the phone to her ear. “Liv, this is V. Where’d you go? I’m worried. Call me.”
He checked his own phone in case he’d missed her text and found it blank. Damn it. He wiped a hand over his mouth and tried to calm the knee-jerk thoughts that something bad had happened to her. There were a hundred other explanations that could explain her absence, except he couldn’t think of any right then.
A deep groove marked the alarm on V’s brow. She stepped into the room and called over the noise. “Does anyone know where Liv went to?”
A chorus of “Nos” sent his unease into full-on distress. He found Liv’s number and pressed Call, not caring how it appeared. He cursed when the call rolled over to voice mail. “Liv. Hey,” he said, trying to keep his frustration out of his voice. “Give me a call when you get this. You disappeared, and we’re worried. I’m worried,” he clarified.
V’s phone rang, and Noah’s rise of hope was dashed when she checked the screen and shook her head before she answered. “Mom?” She scowled. “No. I have no idea.” She closed her eyes when Holden wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, everything about her softening. “Yes, I’ll call if I hear anything.” She ended the call without a goodbye. She blew out a breath, and her relaxed posture had his hopes rising again. “Liv called our mom, asking if anyone was using the cabin this weekend.”
“Where’s the cabin?” Plans for getting there already circled in Noah’s head.
“She said she needed to get away for a bit,” V responded, her evasion obvious.
Noah bit his cheek and fought for control. Visions of Beth dangling from a noose flashed with ones of Liv in the same pose. It wasn’t rational. Liv hadn’t given any signs of being suicidal, but then, he’d missed all of Beth’s, too.
“Noah.”
The sharp bite of his name yanked him from the spiral his thoughts had taken. “What?” he snapped.
V stepped away from Holden to march right into his space. She glared up at him, her brown eyes filled with conviction. “Liv is not Beth.”
“Fuck you.” The curse was out before he could haul it back and think about what he should say.
“Hey,” Holden barked. A raised hand from V stopped his advance, but it didn’t wipe away the anger that curled over his face.
“Liv has been running herself into the ground,” V went on, voice firm. “She’s exhausted. Even I could see that. That doesn’t mean she’s going to kill herself.”
His arguments faltered on his tongue and he edged away until his back hit the wall. His breath came in short gasps that had him bracing his hands on his knees until they slowed. His panic subsided as fast as it’d risen. There was no logic in his thoughts, and he clung to that reality.
“Maybe I can catch her at her apartment,” he said as he straightened.
V stood in front of him, arms crossed. “Would you listen to me if I said to give her the night?” Her voice had lost its earlier sternness to be replaced by a compassionate note.
“Would you if it were Holden?”
The man in question stood behind her, head shaking, smirk on his lips. She reached back and smacked his hip, which had his smile growing. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I think she’s confused and hurting, but she rarely talks to me about her feelings.”
Noah spotted the glaring truth of that. He couldn’t remember a single discussion when they’d talked about what she was feeling. She was a master at deflecting attention from herself to focus on everyone else. God, he really was a shit. He’d been so absorbed in his own woes that he’d completely glossed over how she was dealing with everything. Even when he’d seen how tired she was.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” V said. “She comes across as open and friendly so no one realizes how closed up she is. That’s her defense mechanism.” She laughed softly. “One that’s probably more effective than the ice shields either of us tried to deploy.”
“Because people rarely stop to see the hurt behind the smile.” His absent statement was met with a sad nod. “What hurt her?” Or was it who? He had no idea, and that struck him right in the chest.
He wanted to know those things. Wanted to be there for her like she’d been for him. For everyone.
V typed out something on her phone, and a second later his buzzed. A glance at the screen showed an address for a lakeside town north of the city. “Thank you.”
“Bring firewood and food,” she said. “Mom always forgets to cover the wood when she closes up the place for the winter.”
“Does it have electricity?” Noah had visions of a backwoods cabin with no modern amenities.
“Yes.” V smiled and winked. “But a fire is more romantic.”
“Right.” Of course it was. “I have wood at home.”
Rock poked his head into the hall. “Any word from Liv?” The worry was there in the wrinkles over his brows.
V moved toward the door, her hand in Holden’s. “She wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to get anyone sick. Especially Tyler or Blake.”
“Does she need anything?” Carter asked as they entered the room again.
“I’ve got it,” Noah said. He didn’t care if his tone was firmer than it needed to be. Hell, he didn’t care what any of them thought.
The man did a poor job of suppressing his smile. “Okay.” He met Rock’s gaze and gave up on the pretense. “Told you so.”
“What the fuck?” Rock growled. “I told you.”
“Can I get on this?” Cali piped in. “Because I think I said it first.”
“No way,” Marcus objected. “I was definitely the one.”
“You’re all wrong,” Seth said. “I called it long ago.”
Deklan shoved Seth’s shoulder. “Because I told you.”
“Not before me,” Holden countered. “I predicted it before all of you.”
“Are we talking about Noah and Liv?” Tyler asked. “Because that shit’s so glaringly obvious I think Santa Claus saw it.”
“What?” Jake asked. “What the hell does everyone know that I missed?” Laughter burst from everyone except Jake, who crossed his arms and glared at them. “Fuck you all.”
Noah ducked his head and pretended the warmth in his cheeks was from temperature of the room. He collected his gifts from the floor and opened the closet to find their coats. Liv would need hers at the cabin.
“Take care of her,” Allie said when it grew quiet. “She’s done such a good job of doing that for us.”
Why in the hell were his eyes stinging? He swallowed. “I will.”
“I can make some soup tomorrow if she’s not feeling better,” Cali offered.
“I’ll let you know. Thanks for the offer.”
“Here.” Carter grabbed a container from the food table, snapped the lid on and handed it to Noah. “Rock’s chocolate chip cookies cure everything.” Murmurs of agreement went around the room, and Noah juggled the stuff in his hands to try and grab the cookie container.
Holden took the container from Carter then picked up the bag that was neatly packed with Liv’s gifts. “I’ll walk down with you.”
“And tell Liv I took home her dishes,” Kendra said. “I’ll wash them up and get them back to her.” She shook off Deklan’s stern look. “What? I can wash dishes. It’s good therapy.” She held up her hand, which was curled inward a litt
le.
Noah made his exit before anyone else could drill him on his intentions, because he was almost certain those questions were coming from Holden.
The other man held his words until they were in the elevator. “Don’t—”
“I won’t.”
“But—”
“I won’t,” Noah insisted and shot the man a stern glare that had zero effect.
“You’re not my Dom, so all that posturing won’t work on me.”
God. Noah looked to the tile ceiling and sighed. “I won’t hurt her. I won’t harm her and I won’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.” The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open a second later. He stepped out before Holden could respond.
It was good that Liv had so many people who cared about her. Did she realize it?
He slammed the trunk closed after they’d deposited all their stuff in it, and turned to wait for Holden to finish what he wanted to say.
“Were you the one who sent V back to me?” Holden shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and held Noah’s gaze.
Braced for an attack, Noah had to shuffle through his confusion to follow the man’s question. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“After the police station that day.”
He thought back to August, when V’s cousin had hit her at the carnival and Holden had defended her. “No. I might’ve pointed out what she didn’t want to see, but that was it.”
Holden scratched his nose then flicked the collecting snowflakes from his bangs. “Thank you for that.” He turned and walked away.
“That’s it?” Noah asked. He’d been braced for something more dramatic.
Holden glanced over his shoulder. “That’s it. Unless you want me to tell you that you’re in love with Liv and that scares the shit out of you for some reason.”
Noah’s bark of laughter was muffled by the falling snow. “Smartass.”
Holden gave a salute and angled a cocky grin at him. “Only when it’s needed.” He ambled away, his stride a smooth glide that consumed the distance without appearing rushed. The man was over ten years Noah’s junior but had nailed his issue in a single sentence.