by Bonnie Leon
“He said something about the man dying and leaving a son without a father. He was angry that God would allow something like that to happen. When Mr. Clarkson was killed by my prop, he reacted the same way.”
“Have you talked to him about San Francisco and why he moved here?”
“I’ve tried, but he won’t discuss it.”
“I can only guess at what is hurting him, but I’m confident God will heal his heart . . . at the proper time.”
Kate nodded. “I wish there were something I could do to help. And . . . well, whatever it is, it affects our relationship. He’s afraid something terrible is going to happen to me.”
Helen steepled her fingers, then pressed her palms together. “Is that an unreasonable fear, considering your line of work and what’s happened recently?”
“No . . . I suppose not. But when he married me, he knew that what I do can be dangerous. I don’t think he does it on purpose, but he makes me feel guilty because I want to fly. Sometimes he acts as if I’m trying to make him miserable. I’d never do that, but I can’t stop flying.”
“He’s asked you to quit?”
“Not exactly. But when the trooper was killed a couple of months ago, I kind of fell apart and . . . I said I wasn’t sure I wanted to fly anymore. Paul was quick to let me know he thought it would be good if I quit. He wanted me to stay home and help him take care of the homestead—be a housewife.”
Tears blurred Kate’s vision. “I thought he knew me better than that.” She wiped at her tears. “He wants me to quit, but he’s not willing to just come out and say it. There’s been tension between us that wasn’t there before.”
Helen leaned over the table and gave Kate a hug. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
“What do you think I should do?”
“I’m not one to speak about being ‘just’ a housewife. Albert and I have worked together at the store for years. We’ve shared the chores there and here at home. But, I’m not doing anything that puts my life in jeopardy.” She took a sip of tea and then set the cup in its saucer. “But . . . if Albert asked me to stay home . . . I would. He wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to him. He always thinks about me first.” A look of recollection crossed Helen’s face. “Of course that’s not how it was in the beginning. We were crazy in love, but he was headstrong and sometimes he was even a bit of a troublemaker.”
“Albert?” Kate couldn’t imagine the quiet man as anything other than gentle and thoughtful.
“Oh yes. He was a rascal. But I loved him. And the more I loved him, the more he loved me. Over time he gentled down. Being an example to our husbands is the best way to help them.”
“If I keep flying, am I going against God’s will? I mean, doesn’t Scripture say women are supposed to obey their husbands?”
Helen thought for a moment. “It does say that, but Paul’s not asking you to give up flying. He’s just afraid, and understandably so. Maybe you two can come to some sort of compromise. What about taking safer runs, at least for a while? The other pilots will understand, won’t they?”
“Maybe, but I’m afraid I’d lose their respect.” Kate knew it was her pride speaking. “I guess we’ll have to talk about it.” She took another bite of fish. “And there might be another complication.”
“Oh?”
Kate looked up and met Helen’s gaze. “I think I might be pregnant.”
Helen’s blue eyes widened. “Oh! How wonderful!”
“I have an appointment with the doctor this afternoon.” Kate glanced at the clock. “I’m not even sure how I feel about flying if I am pregnant. But I know what Paul will think. He’s already lost a wife and a son. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t say anything to him. And I don’t want him to be my doctor. I know he’ll worry too much.”
Helen compressed her lips, then looked at Kate with determination. “This is a matter for prayer.” She reached for Kate’s hands and the two women bowed their heads. “Dear Father in heaven, we thank you for the gift of love you’ve given to Paul and Kate. But new love can be complicated. We ask you to give them wisdom and a love for one another that overrides their differences. We lift up Paul to you. You know what tears at his heart. Place a balm upon his wound and give him a life filled with love and contentment, peace and faith. And Lord, if Kate is carrying a child, we thank you for the gift of life. May you keep your hand of protection on her little one. Amen.”
Kate opened her eyes, feeling better and more at peace. “Thank you,” she said. With a glance at the wall clock, she said, “I’ve got to go or I’ll be late for my appointment.”
Kate left Helen at the store and headed toward the doctor’s office. It had been wise of her to come. Helen was a good friend. She always seemed to know just what to say. Kate felt more at ease about her and Paul. She was certain love was strong enough to overcome their differences. And she’d do whatever it was that God asked of her.
When she arrived at the doctor’s office, she stopped and stared at the door. It was possible her life was about to change, dramatically. Taking a quieting breath, she gripped the doorknob, opened the door, and stepped inside.
The secretary was friendly and handed her a form to fill out. When she’d finished, Kate was led to an examination room where the nurse told her to remove her clothing and put on a cotton gown. She left the room. While Kate disrobed, her stress mounted. She’d never had any sort of female exam before. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
She was sitting on the examination table when the doctor came in. Kate felt exposed.
Tall and slender, Dr. David Malone looked to be in his forties. He was friendly and his personality put Kate at ease. He went through the questions with her, then did an exam. It was humiliating but not as terrible as Kate had expected. When he finished, he asked her to get dressed and told her he’d return in a few minutes.
Her adrenaline pumping, Kate dressed, but had trouble hooking her buttons because her hands quaked. What if she wasn’t pregnant? What if something was wrong? Wouldn’t the doctor have told her if she was pregnant? She managed to fasten the buttons on her shirt and was putting on her shoes when a knock sounded at the door.
- 13 -
Kate followed the Susitna inland to Bear Creek. She’d radioed Paul before leaving Anchorage to let him know she was on her way. She flew over the cabin, hoping to see him, but there was no sign of him. Certain Paul would hear the plane and meet her at the sandbar, she headed for the landing strip.
Her stomach quaked. She wasn’t sure how to tell him. She’d never been in a situation like this before. How did you tell a man he was going to be a father?
She hadn’t exactly been surprised at the doctor’s announcement that she was pregnant, and yet awe and amazement had swept through her. She nearly skipped out of his office, her doubts and questions seeming to have vanished. She was going to be a mother!
After she’d finished her evening meal, she invited Helen and Muriel over for dessert. She wanted Paul to be the first to know, but she needed to tell someone. They’d both been ecstatic, accepting the announcement as if there were no concerns, just the joy of motherhood. If only it were that simple. Maybe it was supposed to be.
They’d stayed late, chatting and making plans. Muriel thought it would be fun to have a party to celebrate and she thought it would be especially fun if the attendees brought gifts for the baby. Kate definitely didn’t want to do anything like that. So Muriel said she’d sew some special garments for a newborn. Helen was already planning the colors for the yarn she’d use to knit a blanket. They were both full of tips on parenting. Their time together had made it real.
Now it was time to tell Paul. He’d said he wanted children, but Kate wasn’t sure how he’d respond to the news. His baby boy had died, and this might remind him of what he’d lost.
When she approached the gravel sandbar, she spotted him. He was heading out in the dory. She’d been preoccupied and brought the plane down late. The wheels touched, bouncing on th
e gravel, and the end of the tiny island rushed toward her. With only yards remaining, the plane rolled to a stop. With a whispered prayer of thanks, Kate took off her leather helmet and shut down the engine. Angel was already at the door, her tail wagging. She was glad to be home.
When Kate opened the door, Angel leaped out and ran for Paul, who was beaching the boat. Kate tied down the plane.
Paul knelt and opened his arms to Angel, pulling her into a hug. “How you doing, girl?” He gave her a quick rubdown, then turned his attention on Kate. “Nice to have you back.” A smile touched his lips. “But you cut the landing a bit close, don’t you think?
Kate glanced at the plane. “Yeah. Guess my mind was on something else.” How to tell him—that’s where her mind had been and still was. She wanted it to be perfect. “I’m sorry I left angry. I’m glad to be home,” she said, walking up to him. Their lips grazed and they gave each other half a hug. He’s still angry, Kate thought.
Paul shoved his hands in his pockets and walked toward the boat. “So, how was your trip into town?”
“Good.”
“Did you see Albert and Helen?”
“Uh-huh.”
“How they doing?”
“They’re good. And so are Muriel and Terrence. I guess Terrence has been doing a lot of fishing. Muriel wishes he’d stay home more.” Kate offered Paul a small smile to see how it would be received.
“He’s got to get the fish while they’re running,” he said and gave Kate a hand into the boat.
She sat on the middle bench while Paul pushed the dory off the rocks and leaped in. He dropped onto the seat in the back and started the motor, then turned the dory toward the creek.
“The mosquitoes aren’t bad,” Kate said, swiping at one. “They’re usually thick by now.”
“They’ll show up. They always do.” Paul kept his eyes on the shore. “Guess who did show up already.”
“Who?”
“Jasper. The day you left, when I got up to the house he was sitting on his perch just like always.”
“He waited until I was gone, huh.”
Paul didn’t reply at first, then with a grin, he said, “Guess he knew how lonely I’d be without you.”
Kate breathed in a lungful of relief. Things were all right. “I’m sorry I left the way I did.”
He steered toward the dock. “You had good reason. I was bad-tempered and antagonistic. I wouldn’t have wanted to be with me either.” He shut down the engine, glided alongside the dock, and when he came to a stop, he tied off the boat. “I don’t know why I act like that.”
“Everyone gets in a mood sometimes. I’m not exactly the most even-tempered woman in the territory.”
Paul went to give her a hand out of the boat, but he hung on and pulled her to him. “I love you, Kate. I’m sorry.”
She threw her arms around him. The boat wobbled and she fell backward, but Paul held her securely. She laughed and he laughed.
“We ought to get out of this boat,” Kate said, stepping onto the dock. She was dying to tell him.
“I think we’re meant just for each other.” Paul climbed out of the dory and moved to Kate, pulling her close to him. “I’ve missed you.” He kissed her, the way a man in love kisses a woman.
Kate melted into his arms. “I’m so glad to be here, together. The house in town was empty without you.”
They separated and Paul slung an arm around her shoulders and they headed up the trail. “So, why did you go to town, besides my lousy mood?”
“I was upset and needed time to think. I wanted to talk to Helen. She’s like a mother to me. I’m new at being a wife and I thought she might have some good advice for me.”
“Did you have a nice visit?”
“Yes.”
“And . . . what kind of advice did she give you?”
“The just-between-women kind.” Kate smiled up at him and then leaned against him. “And . . . while I was in town I went to see the doctor.”
Paul stopped. “Why? You’re married to one.” His brows creased with concern. “Are you all right? You’ve seemed a little under the weather lately.”
“If you noticed, why didn’t you say something?”
“I thought it might be nerves from all the trouble you’ve been drawn into lately.” He narrowed his eyes. “So, why didn’t you come to me?”
“I didn’t want you getting your hopes up and with your past and all . . .” Kate knew it was time to stop delaying. “I went in to see the doctor because . . . we’re going to have a baby.”
“You’re pregnant?”
Kate nodded.
A broad smile emerged on Paul’s face and he let out a whoop and pulled her into his arms. “I wish you’d told me sooner. When?”
“January.” Paul’s excitement only heightened her own. Kate laughed. “I’m still stunned. You’re happy about it?”
Paul’s eyes warmed, becoming more tender than usual. “I’ve never been happier.” He held her against him, then tipped her face up and gently kissed her forehead. “I do wish you’d told me instead of going to another doctor, though.”
“I know. But I think this will be better. You just have to be the father, not the doctor.”
His lips lifted slightly. “I think I like that.”
“I’ve been thinking . . . until the baby’s born,” Kate looked at her stomach and rested a hand on it, “I’ll take safer runs and I won’t work so hard. But it’s just for a while. After the baby gets here, I’ll have to figure out how to be a mother and work.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Paul circled his arm around Kate’s waist, and the two continued up the path. “Let’s tell Patrick and Sassa. They’ll want to know.”
“I can’t wait to see Sassa’s face when she hears the news.”
“And I wish I could see your mother’s face when she hears. We’ll have to call them on our next trip into town.”
Their hands clasped, they walked the trail that connected the two homesteads.
In the summer twilight, Paul and Kate snuggled down into bed and pulled the blankets up around them.
“That was fun. I knew Sassa would want to celebrate.” Paul chuckled.
“She and Patrick are good people. I’m glad they’re our neighbors.” Kate rested her head on Paul’s chest.
He caressed her back, his mind unwillingly going to Susan and his son. A twinge of sorrow pierced his heart. She’d be happy for him, he was sure of it.
“Lily might have found a match in Clint. They seem to like each other . . . a lot,” Kate said.
“What do you think of him?”
“I like him. He treats her and the baby like they’re special. He’s a hard worker. Klaus would be happy with what he’s done with the place.” Kate blew out a soft breath. “It would be so wonderful for Lily if they got married. Clint would make a good husband and father to Teddy. Sassa would be over the moon about it. She’d have her daughter and grandson right here on the creek.” Her voice sounding sad, Kate said, “I wish my parents lived close.”
“Maybe one day,” Paul said. “Once they hear about the baby, your father might be willing to give up the farm and move.”
“I don’t know about that. He loves his apple trees.”
“As much as a grandson?”
Kate sat up. “A grandson? What if we have a girl?”
“All the more reason.” His heart full, Paul pulled her back down beside him. “Boy or girl, it will be perfect.” He kissed her. “We better get some sleep. With the long days, it seems the work never ends. And we might have a call for a flight. Plus you need your sleep.”
“Yes, sir. I’m going to sleep right away, sir.”
With Kate in his arms, Paul lay awake long after she’d fallen asleep. He couldn’t settle down. His mind whirled with what the future might look like. He was going to be a father again and he couldn’t keep from imagining what that would be like. He’d wanted it for so long, but never thought it would happen for him
. At least not until Kate came into his life.
“Thank you, Lord,” he whispered, feeling guilty over how angry he’d been with God just a few days before—and so many times. He’d blamed God for everything that went wrong, but he’d never really thanked him for all the good things he’d been given.
When he woke the following morning, his first thought was, I’m going to be a father. Instead of joy, anxiety grabbed hold of him. He didn’t know how to be a father. What if he did it all wrong? And then he remembered his own father who had been kind and devoted to his children. He’d been a good example, which made Paul feel better.
He rolled over and looked at Kate, who was still asleep, with her cheek resting on her arm and her short hair all tousled. She was beautiful. He longed to reach out and touch her, but fought the impulse so she could sleep. He wondered if they’d have a boy or a girl.
Carefully and as quietly as possible, he climbed out of bed, pushed his feet into slippers, and headed for the kitchen. He switched on the two-way radio, just in case a call came in, then put coffee on to brew.
He considered making breakfast but decided to wait until Kate woke up so she could choose what she wanted. He glanced out the porch window to see if Jasper was on his perch. He wasn’t there. Disappointment pricked him. The radio crackled to life and Jack’s voice came over the speaker. “Anchorage airport to Paul Anderson. Come in. Over.”
“Anchorage, this is Paul. How are you this fine morning? Over.”
“All’s good here. But I need a doctor up at a homestead outside the valley. There’s a woman too sick to travel.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Her son called in and said she’s got a bad cough and high fever.”
“Kate will need the coordinates.”
“Get her on the radio and I’ll give them to her.” Jack sounded surly.
Kate wandered into the front room, stretching her arms over her head. “What’s going on?”
“Sounds like Jack got up on the wrong side of the bed. We’ve got a medical call, but he needs to tell you how to get there.” He dropped a kiss on Kate’s cheek as she passed him.