Spider drank in the sight of Rob Zepple. He could never get enough and would never tire of looking at the man. Zep pushed every one of his buttons that could make him hard as a rock and want to fuck like he’d OD’d on Viagra. Even now, as inappropriate as it was, he felt his cock wanting to take interest. If only he could get Zep not to be scared shitless of him or hate him on sight, he could give his body and mind free reign to seduce the hell out of the man.
“You going to let me in?”
Spider’s voice was soft and quiet. It was totally at odds with the scowl on his face and his angry body language. Zep didn’t give himself any time to analyze the tone he heard that conflicted with what his eyes were seeing.
“Yeah, come in.”
Spider squeezed by Zep and couldn’t help but brush against the smaller agent. It wasn’t on purpose because if he wanted to get inside, he had no choice but to touch the man. Zep hadn’t opened the door wide enough for him to pass through without actually touching. Not that he was complaining, but his traitorous body reacted to the innocent contact and his dick became instantly hard.
Great. Just fucking great. Spider pinched his prick through his leathers to try and get the fucker to go down before he had to turn and face the guy who had filled his fantasies for years. Having Zep see him hard wasn’t going to at all help how scared and angry the guy was toward him.
Zep shut and relocked the door before he leaned back against it. Spider had stopped a few feet into the room, but had yet to turn and face him. He found Spider’s behavior odd. It was almost like the guy didn’t want to turn around yet.
His fear of Spider spiked when he suddenly realized that this was the first time he had ever been alone with the man. Every encounter he had ever had with Spider had been either in front of other people or in a public location. He’d never been totally alone with the larger man and that realization made his heart beat like a racehorse trying to win the Kentucky Derby.
He fought to calm himself by analyzing Spider for weaknesses in case the man attempted to get violent with him like he used to do in high school. Spider had several inches on him and at least fifty pounds of pure muscle. Still, Zep knew size didn’t matter. The bigger they were and all that shit. It was true, too. Zep knew from experience.
Zep’s eyes started his inspection at Spider’s broad, biker vest covered shoulders before he took in the man’s well-defined biceps that were on full display because the sleeves of his T-shirt had been cut off. He tore his gaze away from the arms that he knew from experience had enough power to manhandle him and he forced himself to look at the KoV patch that was centered on Spider’s back. His focus didn’t stay on the MC patch for long before it drifted south.
Spider wore skin fucking tight leather pants that molded his muscular ass to the point that the man could just as well be walking around naked. He gulped and the noise sounded loud to his ears. He couldn’t have prevented his reaction to clearly being able to see the dimples on Spider’s ass cheeks if he had tried.
Spider finally felt like he had his dick under control and could turn to look at Zep without showing the man the outline of every vein in his cock through his leather pants. He turned and was about to speak, but his words froze in his throat when he caught Zep quickly raising his gaze. Spider had no doubt that Zep had been checking out his ass.
The look on Zep’s face was a cross between fear, arousal, confusion, and embarrassment. Spider could easily work with three of those emotions. However, it was the fear that not only had he glimpsed in Zep’s eyes, but also knew the man had, and rightfully so, at his presence that stopped Spider from acting on the other emotions.
Regardless of how much he wanted to, until Zep stopped being afraid of him and realized, no, fuck that, understood that he would never actually harm him, Spider was resigned to being in attraction limbo. All he could do was try to make Zep understand and accept that Spider would never hurt him physically or otherwise regardless of the rough shoving around he’d done to the man while they were in high school.
Spider turned toward him and Zep prayed the man thought he was looking at the floor instead of his ass before Zep snapped his eyes up to meet Spider’s gaze. There was a heat in Spider’s dark brown-eyed look that made Zep’s breath unconsciously hitch. He had expected anger or aggression at the very least. Neither was what he saw.
There was no question about what he was seeing, either. Zep was no stranger to recognizing sexual hunger and lust in a man’s gaze when it was directed toward him. What shocked him and what he never expected to even fucking see was that look directed at him from Spider. Spider, the one man who scared him right down to the bone. Spider who for some severely fucked up reason since their encounter in Winn-Dixie, was starting to stroke his almost dead libido back to life.
Silence stretched between them almost as if neither wanted to be the one to break it. It was as if they each knew that once it was broken they would be forced back to reality. A reality that didn’t include the building sexual tension between them.
What the fuck? Zep finally gave himself a mental shake because he knew, he fucking knew, that whatever the hell Spider was trying to pull, it didn’t change the fact that the man made his life miserable while he was growing up. Made him scared as hell just to show up at school every day.
The reminder of that terror opened the door to how much the larger man still scared the ever living hell out of him. He felt his panic rising and couldn’t stop his suddenly racing heart or the quickening of his breath. He was barely able to ask the question that suddenly occurred to him.
“Why isn’t Slade here?”
Spider saw the moment Zep’s mind let the fear of him take control. He had to force himself not to growl out his frustration. It would only scare Zep more if he let his anger over his past behavior where Zep was concerned make an appearance.
“He sent me,” Spider forced himself to say softly.
“Why?”
Zep pressed himself closer to the motel door he leaned against and Spider resisted the urge to move closer to the man in order to offer comfort.
“He has his reasons.” Spider sighed when Slade’s words about ‘fixing shit’ between him and Zep echoed through his mind.
Zep knew his confusion was clear in his tone. Slade knew how he felt about Spider. Knew how fucking afraid he was of Spider. So, he couldn’t understand why Slade would have sent Spider to meet with him instead of coming himself.
“What?” Zep couldn’t stop the word from escaping his lips because he was truly confused.
Spider had no words to explain so he just turned away. He took two steps and sat on the end of one of the double beds. Silence started to stretch between them again before he allowed his body to just flop back onto the bed.
Zep had no idea what the hell was going on when Spider sat on the bed and laid back. The man who starred in every childhood nightmare Zep had, sighed and threw an arm over his eyes. Hesitantly, Zep pushed off the door and took a step closer. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he was an INET agent and determined to find out.
##~~##
Fifteen
Spider felt Zep moving closer, but didn’t move his arm from where it was draped over his face to cover his eyes. His mind tried to provide him images of Zep’s approach being for a different reason and his cock wanted to jump on the delusion train. It took every bit of resistance he had to keep his dick somewhat under control and not move his arm so he could look into Zep’s hazel eyes.
Zep had no idea what to make of Spider’s behavior. It was so polar opposite from what he had experienced in the past that he was caught off guard. Spider being mean and aggressive, Zep was familiar with, but Spider pliant and relaxed almost to the point of being severely depressed was a whole other side of the man he never in his wildest nightmares expected to see.
Spider was so nonaggressive that Zep couldn’t help but wonder if this was some sort of trap. A sick ploy to make him drop his guard, so the man could terrorize hi
m just like he used to do in high school. Every time Zep had thought things had died down and the bullies had moved on to someone else and he started to relax, Spider made an appearance and shattered his illusion. He was always mean and aggressive. The man was so far from either of those behaviors at the moment that a spike of concern flared through Zep’s wariness.
How fucked up is it that I’m concerned because he isn’t scaring the shit out of me and being a bully?
Why Zep stopped directly in front of Spider’s leather clad, spread knees, Zep would never know or at least not consciously admit. Still, that’s where he found himself standing and looking down at Spider.
Surprisingly, there wasn’t an ounce of fear flooding into his system when he looked at the man lying on the bed. He practically stood between Spider’s legs. In fact, less than a full step would put his knees against the end of the bed and his body between the leather covered muscular thighs that were draped over the end of the bed. Zep had no control over his eyes when they started at Spider’s knees and traveled up to take in the clear outline of Spider’s cock wrapped in tight black cow skin.
Spider heard Zep make a noise. He wouldn’t classify it as a moan or a groan, but it definitely sounded like a noise of desperation. He slowly lifted his arm from where it covered the top of his face and was startled to see Zep standing between his legs and practically eye fucking him.
His mind may have been startled at the sight, but his cock was so far beyond pleased that it was painful. There was no hiding his body’s reaction to seeing Zep standing almost between his legs. Almost close enough to his ass where Spider fantasized for years about the man being. All he could do was school his expression, but that didn’t stop the pathetic sound that was muted by his throat before it escaped into the quiet of the room.
Zep’s gaze shot from Spider’s instant hard-on to the man’s stare when he heard the noise that Spider tried to repress. Spider’s gaze once more shown with lustful hunger, but Zep would swear he saw desperation as well in the man’s chocolate brown eyes.
Spider’s behavior was still perplexing, but Zep wasn’t stupid. He knew when a man found him attractive. However, the realization that Spider did, threw him for a loop and there was no doubt the asshole from his youth was turned on as fuck just by him standing so close to the man’s spread knees. Still, Zep wasn’t sure what to do. If Spider was anyone else who looked at him with the hunger the man was leveling on him, he would drop to his knees and take care of the pretty prick that was straining against leather. However, Spider wasn’t anyone else. He was the monster from Zep’s past and Zep tried to remind his traitorously hard cock of that fact.
“Fuck, Rob,” Spider practically sighed on a whisper. “You just keep getting sexier with age.”
Spider’s voice was so low that Zep wasn’t sure he heard the words correctly. There’s no way he thinks I’m sexy. He hated me in school. Zep’s mind protested even as his eyes glanced at the blatant evidence of Spider’s attraction and he tried to ignore his own cock that leaked from Spider’s words.
“You hate me,” Zep whispered before he could stop himself.
“I’ve never hated you,” Spider said sincerely before amending his reply. “No, you’re right. I did hate you for a few years before you started high school.”
“Yeah, you did and you were nothing but an asshole who terrorized me so often that I thought about dropping out of school almost every day!” Zep’s voice rose in volume. “Fuck! If it wasn’t for my God damn mother, I would have dropped out halfway through ninth grade!” Zep saw Spider wince, but couldn’t spare any sympathy for the guy who made his high school years a living Hell.
“I even thought about killing myself for fuck’s sake!” Zep spat and ignored the shocked look of horror that took up residence on Spider’s face. “If it wasn’t for knowing I’d have been leaving my mom alone, I would have!”
Zep glared down at Spider. Any hint of irrational arousal he may have had for the man totally disappeared. All he saw before him was the monster who made his life a living hell when he was a teenager.
Every word that came out of Zep’s mouth sliced another piece of Spider’s heart to ribbons. He knew he had scared the guy in high school, but he never thought he had made Zep’s life so miserable that the guy thought suicide was the only answer.
Spider was horrified at the revelation, especially since everything he did in high school that ended up terrorizing Zep was for the guy’s own protection. He was sure Zep would never believe that was why he slammed him into lockers and frequently pushed him to the ground in front of the other assholes who were bigger bullies than he was towards Zep.
Still, whether Zep would understand or not, Spider needed to try and explain and defend his actions. The man wouldn’t believe a word he said, he was sure, but he still had to try. Zep was panting harshly when Spider finally attempted to explain.
“When we were in grade school… For some reason you just rubbed me wrong and I was bigger so I pushed you around because I didn’t know why you got to me so bad.”
“Pushed me around?” Zep said incredulously and glared angrily at his tormentor who still lay back on the shitty patterned comforter of the room’s double bed.
“Rob, please,” Spider whispered his request for the man to hear him out.
Even through Zep’s anger, he heard the desperation in Spider’s plea for him to listen. There was nothing Spider could say to ease the fear fueled anger that Zep felt coursing through his veins. Still, he didn’t say anything and didn’t step away while he glowered down at Spider.
“By the time you came to Freedom, I knew why I was such an ass to you for all those years in grade school. My sophomore year was when I finally admitted to myself that I was gay, but just because I knew I was gay didn’t mean I could say anything to anyone.”
“So what? You decided…”
Spider held up a hand and spoke over Zep, “will you let me fucking finish for fuck’s sake. I’ve been carrying this guilt around long e-fucking-nough!” Spider sat up and was impressed that Zep didn’t step back.
Spider’s outburst and sudden movement made Zep’s heart rate spike and fear flooded his system like the adrenaline rush he got before a bust. But, he forced himself to hold his ground. He wasn’t some pubescent teenager in high school anymore who would be cowed by a bully.
“You were targeted almost from day one in high school,” Spider tried to continue, but was interrupted.
“By you!”
“No.” Spider let the anger he felt back then leech into his tone. “Not by me. The jocks just decided you were a nerd who had to be a fag, so they set their sights on you.”
“Just like you fucking did!” Zep wasn’t even sure why he was listening to Spider try to justify the bullying he was on the ass end of ninety-nine percent of the time.
Spider stood so quickly and grabbed Zep’s arms that the man didn’t have any time to react. He knew his moment of surprise wouldn’t last long, so he spoke quickly.
“I never, never wanted to hurt you in high school, Rob. By the time you started at Freedom, I knew I was gay. I realized I bullied you because I was attracted to you in grade school.” Spider gave Zep a shake as if that could make his words sink in.
“I would’ve been fine watching you from a distance and just beating off to you at night in my bed, but then the jocks put you in their sights. I had to be one of them to keep you from getting your ass beaten a few times a week. I tried to keep you fucking safe from those assholes!” Spider shook Zep one more time before he released him and stormed toward the sink counter.
Safe? Zep’s mind spun. He had never felt safe in high school and that was because of the man who now leaned against the counter that held the room’s sink. Every fearful memory he had of high school involved Spider in some way or another.
Leslie Q. Webb, fucking ‘Spider’ since fifth grade when the asshole refused to be called Les tried to keep him safe by being a bully toward him?
There
was no way in fucking hell that Spider had anything to do with making his high school experience less painful. Just the thought that the fucker was trying to use that as an excuse for the shit the fuckwad did to him, made Zep see red.
“You lying motherfucker!”
Spider heard Zep move only moments before he felt the guy’s fist slam into his right kidney. Spider winced at the flair of pain, spun, and shoved Zep away before the man could land another hit. He could easily defend himself from anything Zep threw at him. That was exactly what he planned to do, too, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to fight back. He never laid a hand on Zep to bruise him or make him bleed in high school and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.
“You fucking terrorized me in high school,” Zep spat out. “I couldn’t even walk down the God damn hall without thinking you and your asshole jock friends were going to corner me and fuck me up!” Zep screamed and attacked again.
Spider easily blocked Zep’s fists, but it took effort. He was sure if Rob hadn’t been so emotionally pissed off that the hits he tried to land would have found their mark. Spider knew that INET only recruited the best, but he was still impressively surprised at Zep’s hand-to-hand skills. Spider let Zep take several more shots at him before he roughly caught the man’s wrists in his hands and pulled Zep close.
“Did you ever get your ass beat when I was there? Did I ever beat your ass? Did I ever do anything more than shove you into a locker or onto a desk or floor? Have I ever shed one drop of your fucking blood?” Spider growled down into Zep’s face, but didn’t give the man a chance to answer.
“I know the others did. I couldn’t be everywhere all the fucking time, but it killed me every time those assholes bragged about fucking someone up. Even more of me died when they bragged about getting you and I couldn’t do a motherfucking thing about it.”
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