He realized he hadn’t answered Amory’s question, and Amory looked even more concerned.
“It’s fine. Everything is fine.” He tried to make his voice as reassuring as possible.
“Everything doesn’t look fine. Was that about me?”
Philip sank down into his chair, but he kept hold of Amory’s hand, and the other man settled against the edge of the desk near Philip. “Yes, I suppose. Or rather it’s about my openly taking a male lover. My uncle feels it could adversely affect my marital prospects.”
“Will it?” Amory’s large, dark eyes held something indefinable in addition to the concern that hadn’t faded. “I didn’t realize you were looking for a wife. But that’s silly. Of course, you would be. You need an heir.”
“It’s an obligation I’m reminded of often enough, but I’m not looking for a wife, Amory. I’m young, and I have plenty of family. The throne will be fine.”
“I don’t want my being here to hurt you.”
He couldn’t let Amory start thinking that and pulling away, maybe leaving. He had too good a feeling about what could be between them for it to end before it had a chance to begin.
“It won’t.” He tugged on Amory’s hand until he tumbled onto Philip’s lap with a startled exclamation. He wrapped his arms around Amory and nuzzled into his neck. “I like having you here already. I was happy this morning before my uncle irritated me.”
Amory’s tense muscles relaxed at his words, almost melting into Philip. “I like being here with you too.”
“Good.”
AMORY DID like being with Philip, and he already knew he didn’t want to leave, but he worried his presence would harm Philip in some way. Especially after walking into that scene with Philip’s uncle. He didn’t want to come between Philip and his family or his responsibilities. Philip seemed more angry at his uncle than anything. Amory wondered if the apparent animosity was all because of him, or if something else was involved as well.
He spent the morning in Philip’s study with him. He didn’t know anything about governing a country, but he was curious, and since Philip said Amory wasn’t bothering him, Amory stayed. Philip talked to him while he worked. Donatien was in and out of the study with paperwork and correspondence throughout the morning.
Cathal came in while Amory was using a small table and some borrowed stationary to write a letter to Adeline. He hadn’t had much time yesterday to write anything other than a plea for her to help pack his things. She would worry if she only received the short note, but he wasn’t sure what to say to her, and he worried about putting too much in a note someone else might see. It took him far longer than it should have to write.
He signed it and hesitated before pulling a blank piece of paper in front of himself. There was someone else who deserved a letter. Tristan. He needed to tell Tristan what happened, that everything had changed, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t love Tristan, not as anything more than a friend, but he wasn’t sure how Tristan felt about him, and Amory didn’t want to hurt him.
When he finally finished, it seemed Philip and Cathal were finishing their conversation too.
“You haven’t forgotten our game later, have you?” Cathal asked Philip.
“Of course not. The new ambassador from Kavalas is arriving this afternoon, but we’ll play after.”
“Good.” Cathal’s attention turned to Amory. “Do you play tino?”
Amory jumped a bit. It was the first time Cathal spoke to him since his brief greeting when Cathal arrived. “No, I’m afraid I don’t.”
“I think you would enjoy it,” Philip told him, grinning. “Come watch us play later, and then I can teach you.”
“Thank you. I’d like that.”
“That’s settled, then. I’ll be in my office if you need me,” Cathal said. “See you both this afternoon.”
After Cathal left, Philip turned back to Amory. “I think you and Cathal are going to get along well.”
“I hope so.” He really did, for Philip’s sake. Philip was obviously close to his cousin, and Amory wanted to like Cathal, and for Cathal to like him, for Philip. He wasn’t sure how Cathal felt about him despite Cathal’s politeness.
Philip stood and walked over to Amory, perching on the table in front of him. “You will.”
Philip leaned down and pressed his lips to Amory’s. Amory sighed and leaned up into the kiss, enjoying the rub of Philip’s soft lips against his. It had only been a day and he was already addicted to the kisses. Philip groaned and deepened the kiss, trapping Amory’s moan between them. Amory clutched at Philip when Philip ended the kiss and sat back. He was embarrassed to realize the sound he made was something like a whimper.
Philip cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb back and forth over Amory’s lips. Amory shivered. “I know. I’d like to keep kissing you too, but we have to go have lunch with my sister.”
That was enough to clear Amory’s head of the fog Philip’s kisses provoked. He wanted Princess Elodie to like him even more than he wanted Cathal to like him. He was so close to his own sister that he was already anticipating introducing Adeline to Philip, but he didn’t know how he would feel if Adeline hated Philip. He needed to make sure Philip’s sister liked him. All things considered, he’d rather keep kissing Philip.
Well, he’d probably rather keep kissing Philip no matter what the alternative was.
Philip had a knowing look in his eyes. “Continue this later?”
He nodded. “Definitely.”
“Let’s go see Elodie.” Philip stood and held out a hand to Amory, pulling him to his feet. Philip drew Amory’s hand through his arm, connecting them as they walked to Elodie’s suite. Amory tried not to feel self-conscious. He wasn’t used to walking around on someone’s arm, but he liked walking close to Philip, liked the feel of Philip’s strong arm under his fingers.
Lady Celeste, who Philip had mentioned was Cathal’s lover, greeted them and showed them into a sitting room to wait. Curious, Amory took a moment to study her surreptitiously. Celeste had golden-brown hair, large green eyes, and a curvy figure in her demure gown. He could see the appeal she would have to Cathal. She left them with a graceful curtsy.
“She’s just the type of woman Cathal likes, and he was so obvious about getting her here. I have no idea how he thought I didn’t know,” Philip said, his low voice vibrating with good-natured amusement.
Amory laughed quietly.
“By the way, Elodie is almost always late. So we may be waiting.” Philip wandered farther into the room, and Amory followed. It was a pretty little sitting room, cool and delicate and feminine, very different from Philip’s. The way Philip propped himself against the window frame spoke of long habit.
Amory joined him, and they stared out the window together, Philip pointing out things in the garden they could see from their vantage point, until Amory heard the door open behind them. He turned as a young woman rushed headlong into the room, followed by another young lady at a much more sedate pace.
Philip stepped up next to him as the first lady came to a halt not far from them. She was obviously Philip’s sister, but they had only dark hair and a pale golden cast to the skin in common. She was much tinier than her brother, her form and features delicate, almost fragile. She fit in the feminine jewel box of a room. The only thing at odds with the image was her energy. She seemed to vibrate with it, even standing still. Her dangling earrings were swinging from her rush into the room.
The woman beside her was more what Amory imagined of a young noblewoman. Calm and elegant, her posture perfect, her hands neatly folded. She was taller than the princess, her hair dressed in thick golden curls, her eyes so blue as to be nearly violet. Her gown seemed formal for a lunch, but perhaps more formality was appropriate for a meal at the palace.
“Elodie—”
“I know! I know I’m a bit late, but Lil was helping me dress and time got away from us.” Princess Elodie smiled at him and Philip. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s all right. Elodie, this is Amory. Amory, my sister Elodie.”
Amory bowed. “I’m honored to meet you, Your Highness.”
“And I you, Master Amory. I’m still vexed with my brother for not letting me meet you last night. Oh, this is my dearest friend, Lady Lilliale.”
Amory bowed to the blond woman at Princess Elodie’s side. Lady Lilliale dipped into a brief curtsy. The princess looped her arm through Lady Lilliale’s as she straightened.
“I didn’t know you would be joining us today, Lilliale,” Philip said. Amory was surprised at his use of her given name.
“I came back with Elodie last night, Philip. I was going to come and watch your match with Lord Cathal later anyway.”
Amory’s surprise ratcheted up further. Philip must have a close relationship with his sister’s friend.
“I’m surprised you would bother. It’s only a casual game between cousins. We do it often enough.”
“Of course I’ll be there, Philip. You know I enjoy watching your games. Elodie and I are both going to be there, and a few more of our friends. I’m sure there will be many people there.” Lady Lilliale smiled at Philip.
“Yes, and most of them will only be there to try to curry favor.” Philip rolled his eyes, and flashed a grin at Amory, but there was a trace of annoyance in Philip’s eyes. “Very few people would choose to watch a match that is only for my and Cathal’s enjoyment otherwise.”
He flushed, enjoying the feeling that they were sharing some sort of private joke. “Well, I’ll be there.”
“Yes, but you have reason to.” Philip’s gaze, suddenly more intense, caught Amory’s and held, making Amory think of their kisses.
Lady Lilliale’s voice interrupted before he could get lost in daydreams. “Elodie and I have reason to be there as well. It’s going to be great fun.”
“Yes, it will be a lovely afternoon,” the princess added. “Shall we go in to lunch?”
They ate at a round table covered in a lace cloth, set with porcelain and delicate glassware, in the small dining room in Princess Elodie’s suite. The dining room was another feminine room, the furniture almost dainty, making Amory fear he might break something. To his practiced eye, the glassware looked like something his family had made. Philip kept him by his side, seating Amory at his right. Lady Lilliale claimed the chair to Philip’s left, which left Princess Elodie between Amory and Lady Lilliale.
As they ate, Princess Elodie peppered him with questions about himself and his family. In the brief silences she allowed, Lady Lilliale asked Philip questions and interjected comments about her family and court gossip and news. It had the effect of creating two separate and rather disjointed conversations at the table, but Philip juggled both with ease. Amory wasn’t so proficient, but he did his best and was grateful for Philip’s explanatory comments to him, or he would have been unable to follow Lady Lilliale’s stories. All in all it went well enough.
They finished the meal with a custardy fruit tart. Princess Elodie and Lady Lilliale both reminded Philip they would see him later that afternoon, and Philip and he escaped into the corridor. Philip looked pensive as they walked for a few moments, but finally he sighed.
“So that was Elodie,” Philip said with a rueful look.
“Yes.” He wasn’t sure what to say about her. The reality of Princess Elodie was not what he expected. “Is she always so, um, exuberant?”
“That’s one way of putting it.” Philip laughed. “Yes, though she can pretend to calm.”
“I suppose she would have to.”
“She manages to play the proper princess when people other than family are present.” Philip took Amory’s hand and brought it up to his lips for a quick kiss before placing it back on his arm. “She didn’t do that today. I’m glad. It means she’s going to consider you family.”
“You think so?” Hope rose inside him.
“Yes, I do.” Philip sobered, his eyes becoming troubled. “I didn’t know Lilliale would be there. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.”
“No, it isn’t. Not really. I wanted you to meet Elodie and get to know her, but instead, Lilliale was there pulling away El’s attention and talking about people you haven’t met, some of whom I don’t even like and some who….” Philip shook his head. “I wanted it to be the three of us this first time.”
At lunch, Amory hadn’t been able to tell what Philip thought of the conversation. He was surprised to hear the strength of Philip’s dismay. “It’s fine. I did like your sister, and I’ll have time to get to know her.”
“Yes. Good.”
“Your sister and Lady Lilliale are close.”
“Yes, for all their lives. She and Elodie were born only a month apart. They grew up together since our families have always been close. Elodie considers her the sister she never had. She’s a little like another sister to me too.”
For some reason, something inside of him loosened at Philip’s words.
“You’ll see a lot of her, I’m sure. Sometimes I wonder that she doesn’t actually live in the palace with Elodie.”
He glanced at Philip. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not really.” But Philip still looked uncomfortable, and Amory became concerned.
“What is it?”
Philip looked at him. “Lilliale was talking about her family. Her oldest brother, quite a bit.”
“Yes, I remember.” He could feel the tension in Philip’s body from the hold he had on Philip’s arm, but he was puzzled as to why Philip was so tense, and why Philip was bringing up Lady Lilliale’s brother.
“Her brother, that brother, was the man I….”
It took Amory only an instant to realize what Philip was reluctant to say. Lady Lilliale’s oldest brother was Philip’s one former lover. “Oh. Does she know?”
“No one knew. We were extremely discreet.”
“You’re not being discreet now.”
“No, I’m not. I don’t want to be anymore.”
A warm feeling moved through Amory despite his worry at Philip’s stubborn insistence. There was just something in Philip’s eyes. “All right.”
“Are you? All right, I mean?”
“Yes, fine.” Then Amory’s stomach sank. “You aren’t—you don’t have feelings for him still, do you?”
“No, no.” Philip’s voice was firm, and his gaze never wavered from Amory’s. “I felt awkward with her talking about him, and you didn’t know. I felt you should know. Especially since you’ll meet him sooner or later. His family is prominent among the nobility.”
He hadn’t given much thought to the identity of Philip’s former lover before. He probably would have at some point, but everything had happened so quickly over the last day that he hadn’t gotten there. He could hardly believe it had only been a day. He wasn’t sure how he would feel seeing Philip’s former lover. He supposed he would find out then.
He looked into Philip’s eyes and saw worry. “Thank you for telling me. I’ll be fine. Promise.”
And he would keep that promise. He wouldn’t do anything to upset or embarrass Philip if he could help it.
“I had to tell you.” Some of the worry faded from Philip’s eyes.
“Will you tell me what happened? Why it ended?” he asked carefully.
Philip nodded. “But not here. Later, when we’re alone, all right?”
“Of course.” He had almost forgotten they were in public, walking through the palace corridors. The residential corridors were quiet and mostly empty, but they might still be overheard. Amory wouldn’t be the cause of Philip’s secrets being exposed.
But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Philip had been so uncomfortable talking about his former lover. Because of how Philip thought Amory might feel? Or because there were still feelings left on Philip’s part? Philip denied it, and he hated to think of Philip lying to him, but that didn’t mean Philip wouldn’t. If Philip did have feelings for his former lover, what did it mean for them?<
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It shouldn’t matter. He was going to be Philip’s friend and lover, his concubine if they still called it that, but nothing more. He could never be more. They hadn’t spoken of the possibility of feelings developing between them, and it was too soon to be feeling anything anyway. So why was Amory dejected at the thought of Philip loving someone else?
Chapter 5
THE NEW ambassador from Kavalas was being presented to Philip that afternoon, and that, in conjunction with the tino match he’d promised Cathal, meant Philip had to put off telling Amory about Vasco. He didn’t mind the delay. He’d never spoken about Vasco to anyone—it would have been difficult to do so and keep the affair a secret—and he wasn’t especially looking forward to it. But Amory deserved to know, especially since Amory would meet Vasco sooner or later. Probably sooner.
He asked Amory to accompany him to the ambassador’s presentation, eager to keep Amory at his side. He was amused to see astonishment wash over Amory’s face when Philip led him into the throne room, to the chair placed for him beside Philip’s throne. His Amory would have to cultivate a less expressive face to survive among the nobility. Selfishly, he didn’t want Amory to change. He liked how expressive Amory’s beautiful face was. He didn’t want to lose that to the jaded attitude so prevalent at court.
Despite his surprise, Amory smiled at him once they were seated, even if the smile looked a trifle forced. Philip leaned toward Amory and spoke so the words only reached Amory’s ears. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” Amory’s lips quirked. “I didn’t expect to be up here in front of everyone.”
A fair-sized crowd filled the throne room that afternoon. People wanted to get a look at the new ambassador. Many of them probably wanted to get a look at the prince’s new lover as well.
“I’m sorry. I should have warned you.”
“I know you said I would have some sort of status, but I never believed it would be all right for me to sit here with you in front of everyone.”
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