He laughed before he realized what Philip said. “Your permission?”
Philip nodded. “It’s old-fashioned, but it has to with your being my lover, and therefore your sister being here under my care and sponsorship. I wouldn’t have refused, not when I know how much they care for each other, of course, and Pierrick is a good man. I told him I would see your father with him.”
“Thank you.” Amory kissed Philip. “I appreciate all you’re doing. Father will be better behaved if you’re with him.”
“I thought so. But it probably won’t be enjoyable for me.”
He kissed Philip again. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Philip pulled him closer and lingered over another kiss.
He forced himself to pull back when Philip would have continued the kisses. “What is it, then? If it’s not Adeline. Did something happen when you were talking with Vasco that you didn’t tell me about?”
He hated how jealous and insecure the question sounded, because, although the sight of Philip with the handsome, almost regal man the other night had caused a moment of doubt, he didn’t think Philip wanted Vasco. He just wasn’t sure what seeing Vasco would do to Philip.
“No, not really. He did say something to me, but it only echoed what Uncle Umber has been saying more and more.” Philip looked weary just thinking about whatever his uncle and Vasco told him.
“What is it? Can I help?”
Philip shook his head and slumped back into the soft cushions. “They’re pressuring me about finding a wife and producing heirs.”
Amory had no idea what to say. It was what he feared. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to get married.”
“Oh.” A strange, yawning emptiness opened up inside him as he waited for Philip to tell him his fate.
Philip straightened in his seat and turned Amory to face him. He twined his fingers with Amory’s. “Marry me.”
He was so lost in his own sickening worries that it took him a moment to realize what Philip said, and then he couldn’t believe he’d heard Philip correctly. “What?”
“Marry me, Amory,” Philip repeated. He squeezed Amory’s hands tighter. “Marry me. I want you to be my husband. I want to be yours.”
Philip’s words, so genuine, so filled with heartfelt emotion, melted Amory, and for a moment, he reveled in warmth and joy. But still. “I can’t. We can’t.”
“Why not?” Philip’s voice turned teasing. “Everyone wants me to get married. So we’ll all be happy.”
Amory was suddenly angry, angrier than he had ever been. He pulled his hands free and jumped to his feet. “Stop it. Don’t joke, not about this.”
Philip rose, his movements slow. “I’m not joking. Well, a little about that last part, but not about marrying you. Never about that.”
“Everyone wants you to marry because you need a wife, a mother for your heirs. No one would be happy if you married me.”
“I would.” Philip stepped closer. “Because what I need is the man I love beside me, loving me, supporting me, as I do him, for the rest of our lives.”
“You….” The shock hit him so hard the word came out breathless. “You love me?”
Philip cupped his cheek. “Yes, I love you. Do you love me?”
“Yes, of course I love you, but that doesn’t mean we can marry.” Amory’s heart broke as he said it. He hadn’t realized how painful it would be, but one of them needed to be sensible. “I’ll be here, loving you, for as long as you want me. We don’t need to marry for that to be true.”
“I know. I know that. You’ll stay with me no matter what, because that’s the kind of man you are, but I want more for us.” Philip’s expression firmed, and Amory saw more than a little of the princely demeanor Philip adopted when sitting on his throne in it. “I want more than for you to be the lover outside of my marriage, whether it’s acceptable or not. I even want more than what we have now for us. You are, in every way except one, already my husband, and I want that way too. I want everyone to recognize you as my husband, my consort.”
“I don’t need it.” But his protest sounded weak to his own ears. Maybe he didn’t need it, but he wanted the recognition, the assurance of his place at Philip’s side.
“I do. I need it for us.”
He could see that, could see Philip’s need in the intensity of his eyes. “Philip, you’re the prince. You need an heir.”
The throne, along with noble titles in general, was required to pass to a bloodline heir. A titled nobleman who married another man effectively took himself out of the succession. The law was different for commoners. Laws allowed nonbloodline heirs for property not attached to a title, so two male commoners could marry and adopt a child to be their heir. Some of the wealthier commoners, like Amory’s father, emulated the nobility in insisting on bloodline heirs, but that was mostly for show. For the first time, Amory wished fervently that Philip wasn’t the prince. Because it was even more important for the prince to produce an heir himself, to show the strength of the throne and of Tournai.
“I’m also a man, and I need you. There wouldn’t be a guarantee of an heir if I did marry a woman. And if I don’t have a child of my own… well, Elodie is my heir now, and soon enough she’ll marry and have children, and they can inherit. We’ll have to make sure she marries a very steady man. And if by some strange event, she doesn’t have children, I have cousins who could inherit the throne and pass it on to their children. There’s Cathal, Vrai, Etan.” Philip smiled. “Well, maybe not Etan. He’d have the same problem as I do, but he’s not the oldest anyway.”
He laughed despite himself. “Pip.”
“I’m serious, I promise you. And if you insist I have a child of my own, well… maybe we can find a woman who wouldn’t mind, and then I could acknowledge the child, make him my heir.” Philip’s forehead creased and he glanced away. “If I could manage it. I hate the idea.”
“And if you did, I would love your child. But I would do that whether or not we were married.”
“It would be our child,” Philip interrupted. “If we do that, it would be our child, not my child or my heir. Our child to love and raise together.”
“Our child.” The phrase resonated through Amory. He had never thought about having a child of his own, and even in this discussion, he could easily forget the heir they spoke of was a child. He’d like to see Philip as a father. Philip would be a good father. Amory thought he might like to try himself, terrifying as the idea was. Their child.
“Yes. Our child, if we want. And our marriage. Please, Amory.”
The vision of them married with a child tempted him so much, making him ache to reach out for it, to make it true, but he couldn’t let Philip do that. “You’re making everything far more difficult for yourself than it needs to be. No one would support this marriage—your uncle is going to hate the very idea of it. Please don’t do this to yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know you’re not. I don’t want you to, but that isn’t why.”
No, Philip had said it was because he wanted more for them. Because he loved Amory.
“I can’t live my life for my uncle,” Philip continued. “I already live it for this country, and now I’m living it for you too. I want to live my life with you.”
“Philip.” He stopped talking, because he wanted to say yes. He wanted to marry Philip, but they couldn’t, could they?
“Amory.” Philip took his hands and squeezed them. “Please don’t let other people ruin this. Yes, there will be people who will be upset, but they will get over it. I will continue to rule this country the best way I know how, the way my father raised me to. And better, because you and I will be together, and having you with me makes me better.”
“Being with you makes me better too. Stronger.” He spoke quietly, but he knew Philip heard him because Philip’s eyes shone at his words. “I do love you. Which is why I worry marrying me will hurt you too much. I don’t want to be the cause o
f trouble for you.”
“If there’s trouble, we’ll weather it together.” Philip drew him closer and began feathering little kisses along his neck. “Marry me, Amory.”
He shivered at the feel of the words breathed against his neck. “Not fair. I can’t think when you do that.”
“Good. I don’t want you to think.” Philip continued his pleasurable onslaught. “Marry me.”
Amory moaned when Philip began nibbling at his earlobe. He closed his eyes and tried to hold on to his wits, tried to hold on to all the reasons Philip marrying him was a bad idea for Tournai. Doing so was difficult, when Philip’s words of love and need ran through his mind over and over, and the idea of marriage to the man he loved took root inside him. He had been resigned to a position quite different from that of husband, or he’d been trying to resign himself to it. He wanted to be with Philip, the horrible feeling he got when he imagined what his life would be like without Philip told him so. But, he never thought to marry Philip.
But Philip thought of marriage. Philip, who Amory was still amazed actually wanted him at all. Philip, whom he loved more than anyone.
If he loved Philip, he needed to trust him.
“Yes,” he blurted out. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Philip pulled back. His expression so shocked it was almost comical. “You will?”
“Yes, I will.” Even though he still worried for what consequences might follow the decision. But he would stand by Philip no matter what came.
Joy flooded Philip’s face, making him so beautiful it took Amory’s breath away. That joy was all because of Amory, because Amory agreed to marry him, and it knocked him breathless to see it. Incredible to be able to make Philip so happy. Philip grabbed him and pulled him close. He wrapped his arms around Philip’s waist and held on. Despite his lingering worries, joy began to bubble up inside him too, bright and clear, as he realized he and Philip were getting married. He would get to spend his life with this man, and no one could come between them.
He starting laughing, and Philip drew back enough to look at him. Philip’s eyes were shining, and he was grinning like the lunatic he must be to think they could marry and it would all be all right. But Amory must be a lunatic too, because he’d agreed to it.
Then Philip kissed him, and Amory thought maybe he could actually taste Philip’s happiness, his exhilaration, bright and sweet, on Philip’s lips. He almost laughed at the fanciful thought, but he couldn’t say it wasn’t true. He sank into Philip, kissing him back for all he was worth and hoping Philip could feel his joy and love from his kiss too. He thought maybe Philip could from the way Philip pulled him closer, the way Philip’s hands moved over his arms and back. So passionate but cherishing, almost reverent, too.
He yelped when Philip broke the kiss and swung Amory up in his arms all in one fluid motion. He grasped at Philip’s shoulders, disconcerted at the feeling of being carried. “What are you doing? Put me down. I’m too heavy.”
Philip grinned. Amory refused to acknowledge that he had screeched. “I’m carrying you to bed. And you are not too heavy for me to carry. Just stop squirming.”
Amory froze. He did not want to be dropped. “Even if I’m not too heavy, I’m not a girl.”
“I am quite aware that you’re not a girl. But I don’t see what that has to do with my carrying you.”
“Pip—” He broke off when Philip tossed him onto the bed. He landed on the soft mattress amid the luxurious pillows and blankets with a bounce and was startled into laughter. Philip’s grin turned into a full-blown laugh as he followed Amory down to the bed, stretching out on top of Amory and resuming his kisses. They kissed and loved that night with constant smiles and laughter.
PHILIP KNEW Amory was right. There were going to be any number of people who would not support his marriage to Amory for its perceived effect on the strength of the throne and Tournai. He had known that before he asked Amory to marry him, and he had pondered it, considered how it might affect him and Tournai. Because though he wanted to marry the man he loved, he couldn’t allow himself to hurt the country he had been born and raised to rule. He would never forgive himself for that.
But he couldn’t let go of the idea of marrying Amory either. He kept turning it over in his mind, as Uncle Umber pressured him to marry and produce an heir. He’d considered an arranged marriage, he really had, but he loved Amory. He couldn’t bring himself to ask Amory to stay if he married someone else, nor did he want to marry anyone other than Amory. He hadn’t expected it would take so much convincing to get Amory to agree, but he should have. Amory cared more about Philip than about anything Amory might want himself. Of course he would try to protect Philip. Philip loved him all the more for that.
But Amory agreed in the end, which was all that mattered.
Then they had to tell everyone else. Uncle Umber was predictably irate. Philip let him yell and rage for a while, hoping he might wear himself down and become more rational. But his uncle kept yelling, and Amory, sitting beside Philip, became more and more tense. Philip finally stopped his uncle’s tirade when Amory’s face went stark white. He would not let Uncle Umber hurt Amory or make Amory doubt his decision. Uncle Umber sputtered to a halt, drew himself up to his full height, and thundered that he would not set foot in the palace until Philip came to his senses.
They hadn’t seen him since. It had only been a week, but as his uncle was normally at the palace every day, a week was a noticeable absence. Philip didn’t like the rift with his uncle, hated that his uncle, his father’s brother, had broken with him, but he refused to give up Amory to please Uncle Umber. Philip wondered what his father would think of his choice. He hoped his father would be happy for him, or at least understand.
The rest of his family’s reactions were mixed. Shock with perhaps a bit of bewilderment was predominant, which Philip could understand, but he hoped that once the shock wore off they would be happy for him and Amory. Etan, though surprised, was entirely supportive and genuinely happy when Philip and Amory told him of their plans to marry. Philip might have even seen some small spark of hope in Etan’s eyes at that moment.
Etan’s wholehearted support went a ways to balance out Cathal’s vociferous objections. He didn’t yell the way Uncle Umber had, but Cathal made his opinion firmly and clearly known. Cathal believed the consequences of their marriage would be detrimental for Tournai, and while he didn’t storm out of the palace, he did pull back from Philip. He had always been closest to Cathal out of all of his cousins, and to see him walk away… hurt. It hurt terribly, and he could see his pain reflected in Amory’s eyes, even though he hadn’t said anything to Amory about how he felt. He supposed he didn’t have to. Amory always knew without being told.
Like everyone else, Amory’s father was shocked. But he said nothing against them. Not surprising in the least, that reaction. If Amory married Philip, he would have a higher status than as Philip’s lover, and Arnau could only see that as a good thing for himself and his family. Philip would have to keep watching that man. He would not be taken advantage of, and he would not see Amory hurt in his father’s quest to improve their family’s position.
However, Philip wasn’t thinking about his own marriage at the moment, but someone else’s. He spent a good portion of the morning with Arnau, Pierrick, and the Earl of Calixto negotiating Pierrick’s marriage to Adeline. The negotiations were complicated somewhat by Arnau’s bluster and the earl’s reaction to it, but eventually they reached a consensus on dowries and settlements advantageous to both families. Pierrick himself didn’t look much like he cared about those things.
As soon as they finished, Philip sent Arnau, Pierrick, and Pierrick’s father out to the terrace where lunch would be served, and went to fetch Amory and Adeline. He could have sent a servant, but he needed a break from both fathers’ posturing, and the errand was as good an excuse as any. If the other men looked at him oddly, he didn’t really care.
He entered the suite through his study. There
was work there waiting for him, but it would be there after lunch. Amory and Adeline’s voices floated in through the open door to the sitting room, and he had no idea why, but he stopped at the door.
“How is everything really?” Adeline spoke, and he could hear concern in her voice.
“Good,” Amory answered. “Well, Philip’s family isn’t happy with us, some of them anyway. It hurts him. I can tell even though he doesn’t say much about it. They’re his family and his closest friends. Cathal especially. And they’ve turned their backs on him.”
“I can’t imagine.”
“I don’t know if I can either, not completely, but I hurt for him. I keep hoping they’ll change their minds.” There was a pause, and then Amory spoke again, quietly, “I keep waiting for him to blame me.”
“Why would he ever do that?” Adeline exclaimed.
“I don’t know.” Amory groaned. “It’s just… it’s my fault. If it weren’t for me, none of this would be happening to him. He wouldn’t have lost his family.”
“And a lot of other good things wouldn’t be happening to either one of you. Would they?” Another pause. “The prince chose to be with you. He chose to marry you. You didn’t force him to do those things. He had to know what might happen.”
“I know, I know. I do. Don’t listen to me.” Amory sighed. “I’m worried about him.”
Philip closed his eyes. He should not be listening. It was wrong to eavesdrop on a private conversation. And yet he didn’t move.
He heard a rustle of material he thought might be Adeline’s skirts. “I know you are, Amory. I can see it. You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
Even though Philip had heard it before, had heard Amory say it to him, hearing Amory tell his sister sent a thrill of warmth and happiness through him.
Meanwhile, Adeline was speaking again. “The prince loves you too?”
“Yes, he does.” He could hear the smile in Amory’s voice and could picture the pink that likely tinted his cheeks.
“Good. And he makes you happy?”
The Prince's Consort (Chronicles of Tournai Book 1) Page 16