by L. B. Dunbar
“Actually, I’ll talk. You listen.” The hand beside my head played with my hair, twirling it around his finger. He was concentrating on the motion as he spoke. I noticed my bracelet tightly wrapped around his wrist.
“There’s been a bit of a misunderstanding between us,” he started, “so I want to clear the air on my part. I have not been dating Guinevere behind your back. I’m repeating again, that I am not and will not be with Guinie.” He narrowed his blue eyes in focus of my hair around his fingers.
“I know you’re big on a picture telling a story, so I’m sure you’ve made up some about the images of me, Tristan and those girls, but those are his girls, not mine,” his voice softened.
“I haven’t been with anyone since you, Lila. I don’t want to be with anyone, but you. You…you wrecked me. I didn’t see you coming, but you took me over.” He loosened his hold on my hair, and slid his hand to the base of my neck. He sighed heavily as he looked at me, soothingly rubbing his thumb on my nape.
“I can’t get you out of my head. Or my heart. I don’t want to. I’m being selfish because I miss you, Lila. I need you. I know you need me, well need someone, and I want it to be me. Let me take care of you and Fleur. Let us take care of each other.” He was leaning into me, in my space like he often did. My breasts brushed his chest as I took a deep breath and I know he felt me. He closed his eyes.
“I don’t need a hero, Lansing. I don’t need someone to save me,” I said quietly, choking as I almost repeated my words from my conversation with Will.
“I’m no hero, Lila. I didn’t save Fleur or you. You saved me.” Both his hands met my neck and slid upward into my hair, holding the back of my skull.
“You. Saved. Me,” he emphasized again.
“I…” I didn’t get the chance to finish, as his mouth was on mine again. He kissed me hard.
When he pulled back, I attempted to speak again, but his mouth covered mine. I tried one more time and laughed against his lips, as he wouldn’t let me talk.
“Lansing,” I muttered against him, attempting to no avail to push him gently away from me. He reluctantly released me mouth, but continued to hold my neck.
“What are you doing?” I laughed.
“Kissing you senseless. I don’t want to talk anymore.” He leaned in to kiss me again, but I averted him by turning my head sideways. Something in my face must have warned him to stop the approach, because he did.
“What more can I tell you? What do you want to know?”
“The song.”
Lansing’s hands slid off my neck to caress down each shoulder. The dress was spaghetti strapped and he hooked a finger under each strap then held his hands steady.
“Lila, you aren’t a distraction. You aren’t here to make me forget. You make me feel what I’ve never felt before.”
He paused and sighed deeply, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine.
“I might have been a bit closed off about the band, Guinie, and Arturo, because I didn’t want to bring them into the relationship. You’re new and fresh to me. I didn’t want to cloud it with all that turmoil, but it kept getting in the way, anyway. You close me out, too, though when I mentioned Guinie. I knew she was almost a non-topic for you.”
“The bracelet,” I said sharply.
“Guinie has one that looks the same, I know, but I didn’t give it to her. Arturo did. He said it represents the night…The Nights. Moon and stars. Plus it’s part of our logo. I liked the idea of it and of you wearing one from me. I’m your Night; you are my shining star.”
I had other things I wanted to know that weren’t related to us directly. It occurred to me that it was an awfully long elevator ride for a flight.
“The band,” I said softly.
“Tristan is the only one that knows what happened. I think it’s best to keep it that way. For now, we have the album started and the band has decided to stay together to work on the final three songs. I wrote “Beautiful Distraction” for you. It’s going on the album with my voice.” He smiled sheepishly before he continued, “I don’t want to be the lead singer, but it will be nice to showcase for once.”
“It was beautiful,” I spoke quietly.
“Really? Did you really like it?” his voice rose with excitement and a need for reassurance. His palms flattened under the straps on my shoulders and he gently wrapped them over me.
“I loved it,” I said in reply.
“I love you, Lila.”
I gasped. He couldn’t be serious, but his lips were on me again, tasting and teasing. He thirsted for my mouth and drank me up with his lip’s sweet caress over, and over, and over. I pulled back for much needed air and a splash of reason.
“You can’t love me,” I said.
“Why not?”
“I have Fleur.” It seemed obvious to me that having Fleur was a deal breaker.
“I love Fleur, too,” he said leaning toward me.
“I’m serious,” I said placing a hand on his chest inside his jacket.
“I’m serious, too,” he replied, his voice a bit demanding. “I love you, and Fleur. I want you both to live with me.”
“I can’t live with you,” I laughed.
“Why not? You already did,” He smirked. He was almost daring me to respond.
“Because you’re Lansing Lotte.” My lips slowly rose in a smile I couldn’t contain, as his face slowly recognized our first conversation.
“Yes, I am,” he said, “and I want you and Fleur to live with me. Stay with me, Lila. I miss you. I miss Fleur. I need you around me.”
“What about what I need?” I said almost as a whisper.
“Lila, whatever you want. Whatever you need. I promise to give it to you,” he sighed, resting his head against mine again.
My shoulders sagged. I wasn’t sure I could go back to the apartment I knew he slept in with Guinevere, and I knew my place was smaller than his, which didn’t work in his favor. Finally, the elevator stopped its slow ascent.
When I looked over Lansing’s shoulder, I realized we had long passed the third floor and the fifteenth. We seemed to be at the top of the building.
Lansing pulled back and looped his fingers through mine, as the doors opened and we entered a small hall. We faced a set of doors. Lansing opened them without a key. I suddenly stood inside the second penthouse suite of the building. It was vacant. There was no furniture anywhere.
“What’s going on here?”
“Lila, you’re a show-me kind of girl. So, I want to show you how much I want you and need you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“This is our new apartment.” He paused as he stared at me. I blinked knowing there was no way I understood him.
“We can live here,” he said slowly, still holding my brown eyes captive with his. I walked past him to the extra-large windows and looked out over the Park below. It was a breath taking view.
“Here,” Lansing said, holding out his hand and he gave me a tour of the place. We’d already been standing in a living room, dining room combination with a large open kitchen behind us. He showed me a room for Fleur, a room for music, and a photo studio for me. The last room he showed me had a large rug on the floor and tons of pillows all over it. A few candles lit the space. I looked at Lansing, inquisitively. My mouth twisted up in that smile I couldn’t fight.
“I need to show you,” his voice pleaded. I knew my body would give in.
She was hesitant, and believe it or not, I was nervous. I hadn’t really planned a seduction before. A romantic one, anyway. I was doing it again, coming on strong, but somehow I needed to do it that way, or I would lose Lila. She’d get stuck in her head again and like I said to her, I selfishly couldn’t let her go. She watched me as I let my suit jacket fall to the floor. I unbuttoned the cuffs of my shirt then tugged the dress shirt out of my pants. I had already loosened the tie as we walked on our tour. I reached for the back collar of my shirt, pulling the whole set over my head.
I heard her intake
of breath and then her eyes fell to my arm.
“What did you do?” she whispered, as her shaky fingers delicately traced over my bicep.
I had gotten a tattoo. My first. It was a combination of flowers secured with a sword wrapped in a band around my left bicep. The flowers were lilies – fleur de lis – almost, and small flames were also woven with the bright design. It might have seemed feminine, but the flames diminished that. Finally, a star was at the tip of the sword and a crescent moon was on the hilt.
“It’s the moon. Me. Star. You. Flowers. For Fleur. We’re banded together with the strength of the sword, Lila.”
I stepped toward her. Her body shivered as I reached for the thin straps of her long dress and slipped a finger under each shoulder ribbon. Hooking my fingers, I slowly dragged the thin straps downward to rest loosely on her arm and my breath hitched.
“You are so gorgeous, Lila.” I leaned forward and kissed her softly. As I pulled back, she followed me. I took the invitation to continue to kiss her. She was sweet, but sexy, and I enjoyed kissing her. She responded to every nip, every lick and every suck of those delicious lips. Flames of desire burned straight to my lower area, which stood erect and ready for her.
“We can’t just have sex in this bedroom,” she tried to reason.
“Oh, we aren’t,” I said and kissed her nose. “I’m going to make love to you, and feast on you, until you tell me you love me.”
“This is crazy. I’m not sleeping with you in a random bedroom.” I laughed without a hint of thinking it was funny.
“Thank goodness this isn’t a random bedroom. This is our bedroom. This is my new apartment, like I told you.”
“This is crazy,” she said under her breath and I watched her swallow hard. My lips were like oxygen to a flame and they leapt to her neck to ignite her.
“Yep,” was my only response.
She wasn’t fighting me, so I let my hands wander up her body over those hipbones I adored, around her waist to rest on her lower back, pushing her into me. She gripped my biceps and tilted her neck back for me to savor her.
My hands dragged up her back and then slowly unzipped her dress. As it fell loose, I pushed it downward exposing her pushed up breasts to me.
“I’ve missed you, Lila,” I whispered against her chest, as I set tender kisses over her cool skin until my mouth found one breast and pulled it in. Her nipples were already taut and ready for me. I was gluttonous as I licked and teased then sucked her into my mouth again. Her lower body jerked forward and she hit me with her belly against my rock solidness. I couldn’t spring any further to life, I was so turned on. I pulled back from her to look at her glistening skin.
“Lovely Lila, stay with me.”
She didn’t respond, but she didn’t deny me, either.
I pushed the remainder of her dress to the floor to find she had nothing on underneath. I sucked in air as I took in her beautiful delicate body.
“How could you be naked under that dress?”
“I didn’t want lines.” She shrugged. I was sensing it was more than that. Lila liked the feel of the silk against her skin. She was sensitive that way, I had noticed with her Christmas present. I picked up her dress and dragged the crumpled material up her inner thighs. She spread her legs as she balanced by holding onto my shoulders. When I reached her center, I slid the silk over her.
“You like that, don’t you?” I sighed. She closed her eyes briefly as I slipped the material back and forth between her.
“I’m okay with you wearing nothing under that dress. But there is something I would like you to wear.” I dropped the silk to the floor and worked to remove the bracelet on my wrist. It had been a tight fit, but I wanted to have something of Lila’s with me, at all times.
“It’s time to return this to you.” I clasped it over her wrist and pulled her hand upward. I took each of her fingers into my mouth, one at a time. I sucked them then kissed the tip before moving on. Each finger received my full attention and then I traced my tongue to her palm. I kissed it before continuing to trail my lips to her wrist and kiss around and around the bracelet.
“I don’t want you to take it off unless you don’t like it.”
Then I pulled her wrist up further, so she could see that the moon matched the moon of my tattoo and the star matched the hilt. Her voice was quiet as she spoke.
“I love it.”
“I want you to love me,” I said softly, raising her chin, forcing her to look at me.
“I’m flawed, and unstable in some ways, but I promise to be true to you, and only you. I promise to protect you from everything,” I hoped she understood I meant Josh Tucker, the press around the band, even the band itself, as I knew Tristan wasn’t happy about Lila’s initial response to my song.
I unbuckled my belt and undid my pants, letting them slip to the floor. I walked Lila to the cushions scattered around the rug and helped her lay down. She was quiet and it was making me nervous, but I wanted it to be special. I wanted to show her that I had done all this for her. It wasn’t an unplanned, spontaneous distraction. I had thought it out as premeditated attraction.
She rested her head on a pillow and let my hands travel her body. She sighed and squirmed as I played her like an instrument. I covered her breasts and I slipped fingers into her core. She responded in kind; pressing into my touch wherever it roamed. She was more than ready for me as I slid fingers in and out of her. My own body stood at attention waiting to enter her.
As I settled between her legs, I looked down at her as she watched me. I felt a connection like I’d never felt before. I felt connected to Lila on every occasion we’d been together, but somehow I knew it would be different. The night was to bond us together. We would be that happy family Will teased me about.
“Lila, I love you,” I said as the tip of me kissed her folds.
“I love you,” I said as I pushed forward into her warmth. My body felt full as she surrounded me, taking me in.
“I love you,” I groaned as I pulled back to her entrance and she whimpered like I enjoyed. She didn’t want to let me go and I knew it. I felt it in the way she clenched around me, trying to hold onto me.
“I love you,” I sighed, as I slammed forward and she raised her legs to wrap around my hips. That opened her up further and I slid back again.
I paused. I didn’t have the strength to hold back. I wanted to complete my task, but I needed her to say something. For all her need for action, I needed words. I felt it, but I wanted to hear it.
“Say it,” I whispered and her eyes widened. I slid forward then pulled back rapidly.
“Trust me,” I shuddered as I gripped her hip to hold her still. “Say it.”
I saw her swallow. I didn’t think it would pain her, but I sensed her struggle to let them out. I wanted her to mean it.
I didn’t want to be scared. I didn’t want to seem unsure. I was certain I loved him. My body loved him. I was getting that languished sensation again. It was going to be slow, drawn out, and feel amazing when it happened, but it was going to take everything out of me. It was going to take my fears, my doubts, and my distrust to make me give into him.
He did that thing where he pulled to my entrance and paused, and I was tortured. I clenched him hard, knowing if he removed himself from me, we’d lose the connection I craved and I might falter. It wasn’t going to be an easy path for us. The band was on rocky ground. Guinevere was still fragile and raw. Lansing had more difficulties to come with the birth of a baby and an unwed mother who loved him. I didn’t want to be shrapnel in his wake of destruction, as things continued to hang loosely around him. But I knew in that moment, with him inside of me, there was no greater feeling of completeness.
I had missed him, more than I had admitted to myself, until I saw him. Then I heard his song.
That song he wrote for me, about me, about his feelings. I was everything he wanted and didn’t know he would need. I felt he had taken those words from my head. I’d said them b
efore about him. I did want him and I did need him. Not that I thought he was stable, but he was solid. He was real. He would tell me like it is. He knew it was going to be tough for him, but I would be his strength. I wasn’t outside his realm; I was the center of it, holding him steady.
“Lila, please,” he said softly, as his hardness slammed into me. It was so deliciously tempting and my head rolled as I felt pleasure in every pore of my body. My skin was hyper aware of the pillow under my head and back, the rough rug under my ass, and the feel of his damp skin under my calves that wrapped over him. I was practically dripping with excitement as he slid back and forth. I wanted him to go faster, but I relished in the slow takeover. He was vanquishing me, and I let it happen. I let Lansing Lotte have his way with me.
“I love you,” my mouth moved, but the words made no sound. He stopped cold. He pushed into me to the hilt and my eyes opened as I felt the weight of his looking down at me.
He was waiting. If I wanted the release my body craved, I was going to have to speak.
“I love you,” I whispered, my voice a squeak. He leaned forward connecting his lips to mine.
“Say it again,” he said against my mouth. It was a strange sensation I felt both on my lips and deep inside me as he murmured.
“I love you,” I said slightly louder. He felt those words. They were said directly against his lips. He slipped back quickly, then rammed forward, and I groaned. He repeated it quicker. I noticed that his face had softened and his mouth quirked up, so that damn dimple looked down at me. He’d won and he knew it.
“I love you,” I said louder, more confidently, as he continued to play me harder and harder. It was building inside me and those butterflies were fighting one another to be released. I knew it was going to be a slow flame of relief and as I said, “I love you,” with a deep moan, he hit a spot inside me that set me free. I fell back as the sensations rose from my toes and I saw fairy dust sparkles before my eyes. I closed them briefly as my body shuttered with the flickering relief that dragged on and on.
Lansing made three final jerks then held still, pushed deep inside me, and I felt him pulse and spill. I squeezed him tight with my thighs, attempting to hold him for as long as I could. When he relaxed over me like a blanket of protection, my body was so calm I felt stripped of everything.