Turning, I forced a smile. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk now or not.”
His brows pulled in, as if he was thinking about something so heavy rather than being upset.
“Now is probably the best time since that’s why I came.”
“Right. Of course,” I replied, walking farther into the room and sitting on a chair in front of the fire. Nash sat opposite of me.
We stared at each other for the longest time before he finally broke the silence. “Why did you run?”
I cleared my throat, wiped a piece of imaginary lint from my jeans, and focused back on him.
“I was in shock, I guess. A million things ran through my mind about why you would be doing a background check on me. All of my life people have used me for one thing or another . . . in that moment, with you and after what we’d shared, I felt used.”
“Used?”
Nodding, I went on. “I saw Blake give you that envelope. You looked angry when you took it. I know I shouldn’t have snooped in your things, but when I saw my name on the envelope and then read it, a crazy thought entered my mind. I thought you were angry because Blake told you the truth about me and that you only slept with me as a payback of some sort.”
Nash’s eyes grew wide as he dropped back in the chair. The way he looked at me, like I had just stabbed a knife into his heart, made me feel sick to my stomach.
“Did it feel like I was putting on a show for you the night we spent together?” he quietly asked.
I shook my head. “No. And I realized after I got home that it was me who asked you to make love to me that night. It was me who wanted to leave the reception and go to the room. It was everything swirling around in my head at that moment, Nash. I know I betrayed you by not telling you everything about me, and I knew deep down all of this was my fault. Maybe I was trying to place the blame on you, rather than accept the fact that it was me who was the cause of all of this.”
“This wasn’t your fault, Kaelynn.”
My chin trembled and I forced myself not to cry. “I was going to tell you after the wedding. Before the wedding. The night you came over for dinner. So many times I wanted to tell you.” My voice cracked, and I paused to regain my composure. “I was so afraid. I know now how stupid it was, and I know I should have trusted you. Everything was happening so fast between us. I mean, after that trip to Houston, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You consumed my thoughts both day and night.”
He smiled. “It was the same for me.”
“Looking back, I see what a stupid mistake I made, and I would do anything to go back and do it right. That whole ‘hindsight is twenty-twenty’ phrase comes to mind.”
Nash leaned forward and set the mug on the table, then rested his arms on his knees. “Let me ask you something. If you hadn’t known about Lily and the history there, would you have told me sooner?”
I chewed on my lip. “I might have. That day we spent in the car and you asked about my family. Yes, I probably would have mentioned it. Maybe not gone into full detail, because like I said, it was always so hard trying to figure out who liked me for me and who liked me for my family’s money.”
“Kaelynn, I get that. I saw it happen with Charlie all the time. And Terri. I wish you would have given me the chance.”
Wiping away a tear that slipped out, I replied, “So do I.”
We sat for a few moments in silence when I thought of something. “That day we were at Charlie and Tucker’s. That was the day you decided to do the background check, wasn’t it?”
He looked toward the fire. “Yes. It was actually Blake who came up with the idea that you might be hiding you came from money. I mean, let’s be honest, I didn’t keep it a secret how Lily left me because I didn’t have the type of money she did.”
“Or how you would never date another woman with money like that.”
Nash scoffed. “Yeah.”
“I’m still the same Kaelynn, though, regardless of what my bank account says.”
“I know that.”
“Trust works both ways, Nash.”
Staring at the fire, he looked lost in thought before he faced me and softly replied, “But I didn’t withhold something from you.”
“You ran a background check on me, so perspective and all,” I said, my voice giving way to my emotions.
“I wasn’t being deceitful from the very beginning, Kaelynn.”
My lips pressed together to keep in the sob that threatened to break free. It was in that moment I knew Nash would never be able to trust me. It was something he valued, and I had taken it away from him, just like Lily had. Maybe not in the same way, but I had still not given it to him.
I stood and stared down at him. He was now staring into the fire. I said the only thing I knew to say. The only thing I could say that might absolve me of the weight of my emotions.
“I’m sorry.”
Turning, I walked out of the library. My hand went to my mouth the moment I was around the corner in an attempt to not burst into tears. I ran as fast as I could to get as far away as I could. Janet gave me a concerned look as I approached her. Slowing, I wiped the tears away and forced a wobbly smile.
“I’ll be in my room, Janet. I don’t wish to be disturbed.”
“Yes, I understand. Your tea?” she asked as I shook my head, then dashed toward the stairs. I couldn’t talk; I was crying too hard as I left her question unanswered.
The white-covered mountains looked beautiful as I sat gazing out from the window seat, a book open at my side. The snow had begun to fall heavily late last night and hadn’t let up since.
Sliding my knees up, I rested my chin on them and took in the beauty. I hadn’t been able to sleep at all last night. Thoughts of Nash and how sad he looked yesterday evening replayed in my mind. I was angry at myself, but equally as angry that he hadn’t trusted me either.
Sighing, I picked up my phone and sent a text to Millie and Jack.
Me: Not much in the mood for a game night tonight. Sorry.
Something from outside caught my eye, causing me to sit up and lean closer to the window to look out.
“Nash,” I whispered. He was walking out in the snow, taking it all in. I couldn’t help but smile. I had remembered him making the comment he had never seen a lot of snow.
“Well, you’re getting your fair share now,” I spoke to the window. Silence was the only response.
My phone beeped in my hand.
Millie: Have you not been watching the weather? Even if you wanted to still do it, Jack and I can’t get up to you. The snow is coming down like crazy. I hope Janet stocked up on enough food you guys are stuck up there for a few days.
Jack: Sorry, sis, looks like you and the boyfriend or whatever he is to you are stuck there alone. There is plenty of frozen pizza in the freezer.
I stared at my phone in disbelief. They were just going to leave me stranded up here? Leave Nash stranded?
Millie: All flights out of the airport are cancelled. Nash won’t be making that flight tomorrow after all.
With a sigh, I replied to them both.
Me: Let’s hope the pizza is still there.
Millie sent me a text separate from Jack’s.
Millie: How did it go last night?
Me: Not good. I think we’re over. He can’t forgive me for not telling him the truth.
Millie: What about him going behind your back and running that report?
Me: He said he wasn’t being deceitful and hiding the truth about himself all along. He’s right.
Millie: I’m so sorry, Kaelynn. I know how much you liked him.
Nash picked up a handful of snow, balled it up into a snowball, and gave it a toss. Janet must have given him one of Jack’s old coats with gloves and a hat. He looked adorable outside among the snow.
A tear made a track down my face as I looked from Nash back to my phone.
Me: Yeah . . . I really did.
The light knock on my bedroom door made me jump. “Com
e in,” I called out.
“Good morning, Kaelynn. I have breakfast if you’d like to come down and eat. Mr. Barrett is out . . . well . . . exploring in the snow.”
I chuckled. “You mean playing in it.”
“It was rather cute to see how excited he got at all the snow coming down. He’s on his way back in. Shall I set two plates out?”
“Janet, you don’t have to cook or wait on us. Please. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off, the rest of the week, and just relax and enjoy the snowstorm.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “The week off? I don’t think I could do that.”
Laughing, I swung my legs around and stood. “Do you have enough food at your place?”
She nodded.
Janet lived in a small guest house just north of the main house.
“And there is plenty of food here?” I asked.
“Yes, I ran to the store after Mr. Barrett arrived. I knew the weather was turning, so I wanted to make sure we had enough in the main house for at least a week.”
“A week? How long is this storm supposed to last?”
“Well, at least two to three days of steady snow. The pass will for sure be closed for at least a day or two, depending on how much snow there is.”
I wrung my hands as I thought about being here with Nash for a week. Lifting my worried gaze, I asked Janet, “Did Nash happen to mention when his flight back to Texas was?”
Janet’s brows drew down. “He did mention yesterday he would be leaving early tomorrow morning. He didn’t tell you?”
My stomach dropped. “No, no, he didn’t mention it.”
She nodded and smiled. “Well, he won’t be making it. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and help cook for you two?”
“No, it’s honestly fine. I promise not to mess up the house.”
Taking a few steps into the room, Janet stopped a few feet from me. “Forgive me if I’m about to speak on something I shouldn’t, but I’ve known you since you were a little girl, Kaelynn. I’ve also seen that look on your face many years ago on a younger version of me. Don’t give up on each other. Whatever it is that happened, don’t give up. That young man down there is clearly in love with you.”
I scoffed. “He’s angry with me, not in love, and he has a right to be, and from the sound of it, he’s now stuck with me for days. At least the house is big enough that we can avoid each other if we have to.”
“He flew all the way to Utah just to tell you he was angry with you?” she asked, one brow quirked up in question. “No, he flew here because he loves you. If it’s meant to be, it will be. It’s Christmastime after all!”
“Thank you, Janet,” I said, walking up to her and giving her a hug. “And thank you for thinking ahead on the food. I was afraid we would be living off of Jack’s frozen pizzas.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, there is plenty of that as well if you get to feeling like you want heartburn. I made a lasagna, and it’s in the refrigerator. There is also some potato soup in small containers in the freezer.”
The mention of lasagna made me think of our second date. The night Nash made me come by rubbing up against him. Jesus, that seemed like so long ago.
“Thank you,” I said, barely above a whisper.
Janet squeezed my hands, then turned and walked out of my bedroom. Glancing back out the window, I saw that Nash was gone. With a deep breath in, I squared my shoulders and headed down to the kitchen for breakfast.
Nash sat at the island, a large plate of pancakes sitting in front of him while Janet poured him orange juice.
“Where is Kaelynn?” he asked.
I slipped back around the corner and froze.
“She should be joining you. I let her know I made breakfast.”
“Is she okay?”
The concern in his voice made me place my hand over my chest. It felt like my heart was fluttering at the same time it was breaking.
“You will have to ask her.”
“Right, of course,” Nash stated.
“I’ll be taking the next few days off,” she said. “I hope that is okay?”
“Tell me you’re not going to try and leave with this snow coming down?” Nash asked.
“Oh no. I live in the small guest house next to the main house. I’ve worked for the Whitaker family for over twenty-five years. When they built this house, Mr. Whitaker wanted me to have a place for privacy. Kaelynn told me to take a few days off. She is such a sweet young lady.”
“Kaelynn is amazing. I’ve never met anyone like her.”
Janet chuckled. “One of a kind. People like that you don’t let slip away.”
I closed my eyes. Good Lord. Even Janet was butting in now. I took in a deep gulp of air and readied myself. Stepping into the kitchen, I tried to seem chipper.
“Good morning. It smells delicious, Janet.”
She beamed with pride. “I made your favorite. Pumpkin-walnut pancakes and peppered bacon.”
My stomach decided to growl at that moment, causing all of us to laugh. Peeking over to Nash, I tried not to let my eyes roam over him. He looked so handsome with the snow-kissed cheeks tinged with the redness of warmth returning to his skin.
“Hey,” I said, slipping onto the stool at the end of the bar.
Nash’s eyes brightened, and I couldn’t help the way my body tingled when I was near him.
“Good morning.”
“So, I guess you’ve heard the airport is closed. I’m sorry.”
His head tilted and he smirked. “Ready to get rid of me?”
“What? No? I figured you were ready to leave.”
“Not yet.”
The way he looked at me made my insides warm.
“Maybe today we can try and talk again?” Nash asked before putting a huge portion of pancakes in his mouth.
“Yes. Sure. Of course.” I swallowed hard and focused on the food Janet put in front of me. “Thank you, Janet. Please, go enjoy a few days off. I’ll be fine. Nash is here, so it’s not like I’m alone.”
Janet tried not to grin like a fool, but she clapped her hands. “My sister is in town and has been crafting over there without me. It will be fun for us both to be able to make a few things for family.”
“What?” I asked, my mouth dropping open. “Why didn’t you say you had family in town? I mean, I know you weren’t planning on me being here. I’m so sorry, Janet!”
Waving me off, she replied, “It’s okay. She’s here through Christmas.”
“Go! Go enjoy your time together.” This time it was me waving her off. I stood and hugged her as she kissed me on the cheek.
“You two enjoy yourselves,” Janet said, hurrying out of the kitchen.
Nash laughed. “She seems like a really nice person.”
“Janet is amazing. She’s been working for my parents for as long as I can remember. She’s more family than anything. My mother would be lost without Janet.”
Our gaze locked for a brief moment before I broke it and went back to eating.
“So, I went outside just a bit ago. Got to do what every person wants to do when it is snowing.”
“What’s that?”
He chuckled. “I leaned my head back and held out my tongue to catch the snow.”
“Oh.”
I tried hard not to laugh, but I lost the battle. Nash laughed along with me until we fell into another silence.
After finishing breakfast, we both cleaned up and put the dishes in the dishwasher, neither of us speaking. Then he took my hand and started to lead me out of the kitchen.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To my favorite room so far in your house. The library.”
“That’s my favorite room as well.”
“I know; a little birdy told me that.” I smiled at him, remembering our conversation from my place.
We walked into the room, and I was surprised to see a fire going. Nash walked over and added a few logs to it.
“I started it before
I went outside and then threw a couple logs on when I came in.”
“We usually have a tree in here by now. I guess with my parents being out of town, they didn’t get a chance to put one up before they left.”
Nash walked up and stood next to me. “A real one?”
I glanced up at him. “Nope. We have artificial trees.”
“Trees? As in plural?”
“Yep!” I said, popping the p. “Look at this house! You can’t just have one tree!”
Nash chuckled. “I guess that’s true.”
“The tree that goes in here though is special because it’s the family tree. We always spent Christmas morning in here.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “I think it was because it felt smaller, cozier. We felt close to each other. In the main living area, with the picture window, my mother puts up a beautiful ten-foot tree that is decorated with all silver. It’s stunning against the mountains. But it feels so. . . .”
“Cold?” Nash asked, sitting down on the sofa.
“Yes. Exactly,” I stated, sitting next to him and turning to face him. “The other trees are themed trees. The one on my father’s trophy room is woodland themed.”
“I really need to see that room.”
Smiling, I replied, “Okay. I’ll give you the grand tour today.”
He lifted a brow. “Can we bowl?”
“Sure. If you want.”
Nash leaned forward, a serious look on his face. “I have a very important question to ask.”
I swallowed hard. “O-okay.”
“Did I hear Millie right? Is there a billiards room? I can also kick your ass at pool.”
It took a moment for his words to register what he said.
“That so?” I asked. “Is that a challenge?”
He nodded. His smile faded some and he moved his gaze to the fireplace. Just like he had last night. This time, he didn’t leave it there, he focused back in on me.
“I’m sorry about last night, Kaelynn.”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”
“Yes, I do. You got upset and I let you leave. That was a dick move.”
I shook my head and went to speak, but he locked his gaze on mine, causing me to go still as he continued to speak.
Entice Me Page 20