“Fuck,” Pandaren breathed when she was done.
“Kind of complicates things, right?”
“That’s an understatement.”
“What do we do?” she asked him, hoping he had an answer.
“I don’t know. How much danger do you think we are in?” he asked.
“Well, we know for a fact that at least one person wanted me dead. And another Dreamer may have been killed.”
“The short guy probably wasn’t government, right?”
“I highly doubt it. I don’t think he had anyone else with him. And he was too...strange.”
Pandaren was quiet for a few moments. “I’m going to do some more research,” he said finally.
“That’s not a good idea!”
“Why?”
“What if whoever did this can track us online?”
Pandaren gave her an offended look. “You think I can’t make sure I’m not tracked? Come on! That’s just insulting. I just told you, I’m a computer programmer. I know how to safeguard my shit.”
“Well, good for you!” she snapped.
“Sorry.”
“I’ve been using a cell phone that’s registered with a fake name. Do you think that’s safe?”
“No,” he snorted.
“Why?”
“I’ve blogged about this. You’ve emailed me. If someone is watching us, they definitely know where you are. Even Google can find you through your email. They probably don’t know a lot about me, so hopefully they haven’t made connections yet. But regardless, I’m going home and dismantling my blog.”
“What should I do?”
Pandaren sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. “I’ll get you a phone and put some blockers on it.”
Sydney realized she was putting a lot of trust in this stranger, but she didn’t have many options. “OK. I’d appreciate that.”
“Meet me tomorrow.”
“Here?”
“No!”
“Where then?”
“Meet me at the Luxor Casino. There’s a Lexus grand prize at a bank of slots on the North side. Meet me there.”
“What time?”
“One o’clock again?”
“OK.”
“And don’t email me or anyone else until tomorrow. In fact, you should get rid of your phone altogether.”
“Alright.”
“Good,” Pandaren looked lost in thought and distracted.
“I should tell you something else.”
“What’s that?”
“I have a...friend that is helping me.”
“A friend? Here?”
“Yes.”
“I said to come alone.”
“I know. But, he’s trustworthy though.”
“You’d better hope so.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sydney left the coffee shop a few moments after Pandaren. She was pretty sure she could trust him, but she didn’t want to give him a chance to follow her and Xander, just in case. When she exited the shop, Xander was crossing the street looking worried. His dark brown hair was tousled in the sexiest way possible and his leather jacket and dark jeans and scruffy beard blended together for a look that every girl with daddy issues would love. She smiled and shook her head at herself.
“What?” he asked drawing close.
“Nothing.”
“What happened? What were you shaking your head about?”
“You.”
“What about me?” he narrowed his eyes at her.
“Never mind.”
“Well, that’s hardly fair,” he scowled at her.”
“Shut up. Let’s go back to the bar. I need a drink.” Xander glanced down the street in the direction Syd assumed Pandaren had departed. “I think he’s fine,” she assured him. “Come on, I’ll tell you what I found out.”
They reclaimed their booth and Sydney waved the waitress over. “Back for more?” she grinned at them.
“Yep,” Sydney nodded.
“Another Fat Tire?” she asked looking at Sydney then Xander with a cocked eyebrow.
“Nope. We need a bottle of tequila.” Both the server and Xander looked at her with wide eyes. Well, it is only one in the afternoon, she reasoned. “Alright, yeah, you’re right,” she nodded even though no one said anything. “I’ll just take another beer.”
“Same,” Xander grinned at the woman and she winked at him before turning to get their beers. “Did you learn something that bad?”
Syd shrugged. “I don’t know how much worse it could get, but his story did make things more complicated.”
“Damn.”
The woman sat their beers in front of them. “There you go darlins.” She turned and left them to their huddled conversation. They each drank their beers by the time Syd was done telling him what she had learned from Pandaren. When she was done she sat back and took a sip of a new beer.
“Fuck.” Xander sat back as well and kicked his legs out again. This time Sydney didn’t move her legs, she let his boots rest against her calf. “So what now?” he asked.
“We meet Pandaren tomorrow.”
“You sure you trust him?”
“Yeah. I think I do. Maybe. Kind of.”
“Alright...”
“In the mean time?”
“Let’s get a bottle of tequila to go,” Xander waved the waitress over for the check.
By the time they made it back to their rental with a few simple food supplies, a fifth of tequila and paid George another night’s rent, it was late afternoon. They sat at the table eating chips and sandwiches with beer.
“I feel weird being a little drunk during the afternoon,” Xander chuckled.
“Blame Vegas,” Syd grinned sloppily at him.
“Good point,” he raised his beer to her.
Sydney took their trash to the kitchen area and came back with the bottle of tequila and two small glasses that would serve as shot glasses. “Oh, boy,” Xander sighed.
“Oh, boy is right. Let’s do this.” She sat the glasses down in between them and cracked open the bottle. She could smell the pungent liquor right away and she wrinkled her nose.
“Ah, never smell it!” Xander laughed and took the bottle from her. He poured a mouthful of the liquid in each glass and looked at her with a wicked grin. “You ready?”
“Damn, why did I think this was a good idea?”
“Bottoms up,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her, picked up the glass and waited for her to do the same. Sydney took a deep breath, let it out slowly and raised her glass. Xander tapped his against hers making a small clink.
“What are we toasting to?” she asked.
He thought for a moment. “To moving forward.”
“I like that,” she grinned. When the liquid hit her mouth she tried to swallow quick enough to not taste the bitter drink. No such luck. As she lowered the glass she let out a breath of fire and shuddered. “Damn,” she croaked. She gulped her beer to chase away the aftertaste.
Xander tilted his head back and laughed. “Bit off more than you can chew?”
Sydney had no idea if he intended it or not, but she felt a double meaning to his words. The tequila was one thing, but Xander was a whole other issue. Numbness was already spreading through her fingers and brain. She grabbed the bottle and poured another shot.
“You sure about that?” he asked. Instead of answering she raised her glass. “OK, then. What are we toasting to this time?’
“Self-control.”
Xander laughed loudly. “Good luck with that.” He raised his glass and knocked the shot back. Sydney did the same.
Shot for shot they kept it up. Six more shots in less than an hour and they both called an unspoken truce. Sydney’s head was spinning and she was having a hard time keeping her vision straight. She fought to keep her eyes open.
“You OK?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” she slurred and laughed at herself. Deciding sitting up took too much energy she pushed back from the t
able and swayed to the other side of the room. She ignored Xander’s chuckling and tried with all her might to walk to the couch without stumbling. As she flopped down she realized he had followed her. The couch bounced with his weight as he almost fell on top of her.
Sydney could feel chills raise along her arms. He was sitting so close to her she could feel his body heat and that’s all she could think about. She stared at the table in front of her trying to decide what to do. Feeling like she had been quiet too long she looked up and was surprised to see Xander staring at her. “What?”
“I like looking at you,” his blue eyes burned into hers and she swallowed hard. Her entire body was tingling.
“Why?”
“You...just...make me forget about everything except you.”
Her heart slammed in her chest. “Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Sydney raised a brow. “Is that a good thing?”
“Yeah,” he narrowed his eyes in confusion. “The night we were at The Pit?”
Sydney had almost forgotten about the mystery night when she had blacked out while hanging out with Shay’s brother. Once she realized she hadn’t told him about her memory issues, or Don’s death, the night got lost in the midst of more pressing matters. “What happened?”
“We danced.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Why was that so important then?”
“I mean, I noticed you when Shay introduced us. But that night, I think that was the first time I felt...normal. Like maybe there was someone I actually wanted to...I don’t know...” he trailed off. “Dammit Sydney. I want to know you!”
His words caused her stomach to flip flop. All she wanted him to do was to reach out and touch her. He had an uncanny ability to make everything else seem insignificant. He could make her laugh at the worst times and feel safe and secure even when she shouldn’t. And hearing that she served a similar purpose for him felt too big. It took her breath away.
She wanted to look away but she couldn’t. When Xander reached out and wrapped his rough hand around the back of her neck, she was pretty sure she stopped breathing. Do it do it do it do it do, she chanted in her head. Finally, Xander leaned close and she took a deep breath as his lips pressed against hers. Fireworks didn’t explode. Bells didn’t go off signaling something magical. Instead, her insides turned to molten lava and she gasped against his mouth. His beard tickled and scraped her face and she brought her hands up to his hair and grabbed two handfuls.
Xander groaned and let go of her neck. Leaning back, he pulled her with him until she was sitting in his lap and she could feel the bulge in his jeans. She rotated her hips and smiled when he growled. Amnesia or not, her body seemed to remember what to do. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer and she could feel the heat of his body through his shirt. Letting go of his hair, she ran her fingernails down his chest and fumbled with his belt. Her body was reacting faster than her brain and she didn’t try to stop it. Her cloudy, drunken brain urged her on—the shots were doing an amazing job of blocking out all the reasons she shouldn’t do this. But, before she could unzip his pants he caught her hands.
“Stop,” he breathed against her neck.
“What?” she asked, only half registering the word came from him and not her voice of reason. She tried to keep working at his pants but he pulled her hands away and held them behind her back. He moved from the side of her neck to the front and kissed a trail from her collar to her mouth. “What?” she asked again.
Xander groaned and pulled away, taking a deep breath and looking at her like he wanted to do anything other than stop. “I want this. So bad I can’t see straight.”
“And?”
“You’re drunk.”
“So are you,” she scowled at him.
“I’m not going to do this until I know you really want to.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t believe this,” Sydney shook her head and let herself fall to the side. She landed on her back with her legs across Xander’s lap.
“Look,” he leaned over her and ran a hand through her hair. “You—I’m—I don’t know OK? I just don’t want this to be like it usually is.”
“I don’t even want to know what that means,” Sydney put a hand over her face.
Xander pulled her hand away and forced her to look at him. His hand on her chin was warm and calloused. “If you want me when you’re sober, then show me.”
“What?”
“You are awfully bold when you’re drunk. But would you do this sober?”
Sydney wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t. Her brain was cloudy and reason wasn’t really working right now. She had spent days, weeks, maybe even months pretending Xander was just a friend. There were good reasons why she had been trying so hard to deny her feelings. As reality sank back in, she let out an exasperated, and somewhat embarrassed, puff of air and pushed herself up off the couch. Xander didn’t follow her to the bed. It was barely eight o’clock but she fell heavily onto the mattress and pulled the blankets over her head without bothering to undress.
Xander
Xander felt like a royal jackass and his guts twisted in both guilt and regret. He watched the jerky, agitated movements of Sydney’s breathing through the blankets. His whole body twitched and ached to go touch her. He wanted to throw the blankets back and rip her clothes off. But, instead, he took a deep breath, adjusted his jeans so he was more comfortable and went to get another drink. If he got drunk enough to numb both his brain and his body, maybe he would stop feeling like such a shit.
He couldn’t recall a time he had ever turned a woman down. Not when she already had her hands on his dick and her tongue in his mouth. Damn, he could still taste her. And smell her too. Her coconut scent clung to his skin like it was trying to punish him. Saying no to Syd had been one of the hardest things he had ever done—especially since he had started it. But it had been the right thing to do, he hadn’t meant for it go for as far as it had. Going to bed with Sydney would burn them both, just in different ways.
If he hadn’t stopped and they had slept together, she would have frozen him out. He didn’t want that. And the fact that he cared freaked him out a little. He hadn’t ever really cared about long-term anything with women. Relationships were complicated and he liked things simple. But Sydney was different. She was her own brand of complicated and he, inexplicably, wanted to uncomplicate things for her.
He swallowed the last of his drink and opened his laptop. He opened a search page and typed in nosebleeds, exhaustion and headaches. Plenty of conditions were returned—some more frightening than others. Everything from sinus congestion to multiple sclerosis. He read through several of the diseases and conditions and while Sydney seemed to have some of each, she didn’t have enough for him to fit her into any one illness. Some part of him hoped that he would find a condition that would explain what was happening to her and that there would be a simple answer to everything.
He poured himself another drink and rested his chin in his hand and his elbow on his knee. He watched Sydney sleep some more and knew she had fallen asleep because the movements beneath the blankets were slow and steady now. He had one option, no matter how much he dreaded resorting to it. He let out a long slow sigh and picked his phone up from the coffee table and headed for the door. He doubted Syd would wake up considering how drunk she was when she fell asleep, but just in case, he didn’t want her to hear the call he was going to make.
The phone rang several times before a rough voice answered. “Yeah?”
Xander knew Rabbit’s irritation had nothing to do with the late hour. He was as nocturnal as a bat. He was just annoyed because he hated Xander. “Hello to you too, Bunny.” Rabbit growled but didn’t respond to the baiting. The man hadn’t gotten his nickname because he was cute or cuddly, it was for the number of times he had run from the cops.
“What do you want?
” he barked at Xander. “I’m busy.”
“I need to call in the favor you owe me.”
The big man on the other end of the phone sighed and it sounded like another growl. He didn’t like being reminded he owed Xander. “What the hell do you want?” he asked again.
“I need a doctor.”
“Then go to the hospital,” the man snapped.
“I can’t. And the doctor’s not for me.”
“Well, in that case, use a coat-hanger.”
Xander gritted his teeth. “I’m not in need of that kind of doctor. A friend of mine needs to see someone who can run some tests. And it needs to be...offline if you get my drift.”
“Look, asshole, stitches, bullet removals. That kind of thing we can help you out. But that kind of shit needs an actual hospital—”
“That’s what I said.”
“—and that’s not easy to come by.”
“I’m sure if you put your little mind to it you can figure out how to make it happen.”
Rabbit was quiet for a few minutes and as Xander was beginning to think he had hung up, he finally spoke. “Give me a few days. I might be able to make something work.” Without another word he hung up.
Xander hoped Sydney had a few days.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The next morning Sydney woke embarrassed and alone in bed. She crawled out from under the blankets when she heard movement in the kitchen area. Peeking through one eye, she saw Xander in the kitchen making coffee. Oh, god, she groaned internally as her behavior from last night came back to her in flashes more humiliating than the next. Her face burned as she recalled how hot and heavy things had gotten. All he had done was kiss her and lost control. And he said no. Holy shit. Xander is the one who stopped things before they went too far. On top of her humiliation she had a throbbing headache and a nauseous stomach.
“Since you stopped snoring I’m going to assume you are awake,” Xander’s amused voice called from across the room.
“I don’t snore,” she mumbled, the vibrations from her voice spiked more pain in her head.
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