by D. L. Gallie
“Watch your tone, Gage,” Dad warns. “Marlee called me earlier,” Dad explains.
My head snaps to hers. “How in the hell did you get his number?”
A guilty look washes over her face. “I got his number out of your phone.”
“You what?” I snap.
“Gage, don’t speak to her like that. Your Ma raised you better than that.”
My eyes snap to his, and I seethe, shaking my head, “You don’t get to speak to me about Ma. You lost that right the day she died. The day she died is the day I lost you too. I know you wish it was me who died, and not her. You made that known every day you ignored me. Everyday that you chose to drink rather than be my father. I lost both parents that day, and I don’t need you now.”
“I know you don’t owe me anything, Gage. And I see that you have grown into a great man, someone your mother would be proud of. I regret many things in my life, but my biggest regret was not being there when you needed me. Your mother would be ashamed of me.”
“No shit,” I scoff.
“I’d love nothing more than your forgiveness but…” He doesn’t finish his sentence because there’s nothing else to say. Looking over to him, I stare at the man before me. In his eyes, I see regret and grief.
“Dad, it’s too late. I…I just can’t.”
Walking to the door, I open it and walk out. Leaving Marlee and Dad alone. Before the door closes, I hear Dad cry. It does pull at my heartstrings to hear him like that, but at this very moment, everything he put me through is vividly playing in my mind. Pressing the button for the elevator, I wait.
A door opens behind me and I turn to see who it is, Marlee stand’s in the doorway. “Gage—”
“No.” I raise my hand to stop her. “Just no, I…I need to be alone right now. I don’t want to say something in the heat of the moment that I’ll regret. But I will say this, this is a giant betrayal right now.” Her face pales, her eyes well with tears, and she gasps at my words.
The elevator dings and the doors open, without saying anything else, I climb in. As the doors close, Marlee blubbers, “I’m sorry, Gage, I thought I was helping.”
The elevator doors shut and I let out the breath I was holding. I storm across the road and up to my apartment. As soon as I get inside, I grab a bottle of Jack, open it, and swig. It burns on the way down and it's exactly what I need.
Flopping onto my couch, I run my fingers through my hair and lean back into the cushions. My eyes land on the only photo I have of Ma and me. Hopping up, I grab the frame and sit back down. I stare at the photo and my eyes well with tears. “Why, Ma, why did you have to leave us?”
Grabbing the bottle by the neck, I drink again. Slamming the bottle on the coffee table, I rest my elbows on my knees and lower my head to my hands. When I lift it up, my gaze lands on the tree, specifically the angel on top and a conversation I had with Ma comes flooding back to me.
…December 5th, 1998
“Why does Dad hate us?” I ask Ma.
“Your father doesn’t hate us, Gage. He’s just misunderstood.”
“He’s so mean. Why do you stay?”
“Gage, when you are older and meet ‘the one’ this will make much more sense. When you love someone unconditionally, you look past their flaws and see into their soul. Your father has a kind soul under his rough exterior. He swept me off my feet when I was nineteen, and I thank my lucky stars everyday. Not just because he gave me you, but because of the little things that you don’t see, or appreciate, because you are only a child. One day you will know what I mean. Yes, they will do things that will make you want to smother them with a pillow, but at the same time, they would lay their life down for you.”
“I don’t see any of that in him,” I whine.
“That’s because, young man, you are ten and not in love with him. You see him as a father and a father only.”
“But—”
“There are no buts when it comes to love, Gage. Even when they do things to hurt you, it comes from a place of love. If you could see your father though my eyes, you’d see him how I do. A gentle soul who has a unique way of showing his love. Underneath his hardness is a man who loves unconditionally.”
With a smile on my face, I walk over to the window and stare across to Marlee’s building. Looking down to the street, I see her and Dad on the sidewalk. A cab is waiting, they chat for a few moments and then he climbs in. She stands on the street and watches it pull away.
She looks up and I know she can’t see me, but I can feel her stare on me. Digging into my pocket, I pull my phone out and quickly dial her number. My eyes are locked on hers, I watch as she pulls her phone out. She hesitates before she answers. “Hello,” she meekly says.
“Marlee, babe—”
“I’m coming up, Gage Grainger, and you will let me in, and you will let me say what I want to say.”
“Ooookay.”
“Good, see you in a few.”
Hanging up, I watch as she marches across the road and over to my building. This should be interesting, I think to myself as I walk over to the buzzer to let her in.
18
As soon as I open the door, Marlee storms into my apartment. Closing the door, I follow her into the living room, where she spins on her heel. “Gage, I’m sorry I went behind your back, but you need closure. I thought if you and your dad could clear the air, then it would all be good. I didn’t realize that you were an immature jackass who holds grudges.”
“You done?” I snarkily ask.
“Are you done being an immature jackass douchehole?” she spits back at me.
“Are you?”
“Clearly you are still immature, Gage.”
“Says the immature one.”
“Oh My God, really?”
“Really, really,” I playfully reply, in the donkey from Shrek tone.
“You are so frustrating.”
“Sexily frustrating,” I reply with a wink. “But seriously, you are right. I do need to speak to him.”
Her mouth drops open in shock. “Wow, I thought I would have had to fight harder on this. What’s changed in the past thirty minutes?”
“I remembered a conversation with Ma, it was just before she died. She told me why she loved him, he’s just misunderstood, and underneath his rough exterior is a gentle soul.”
“I think I would have loved your ma.”
“And she would have loved you too.”
“And I think she’s right. I’ve only spent a little time with him, and I don’t see the bad person you do. Sure, he’s handled things in a shitty way, but deep down, Gage, he loves you.”
Staring at her, I think about what she just said. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
“There’s one way to find out for sure.” I stare blankly at her, “You need to call him. Sit down and chat man-to-man. Father to son.”
“I’m scared, Marlee. What if he…”
“What if what?”
“What if I haven’t made him proud?”
“Gage,” she tenderly says, cupping my cheek to placate me. “He will be. I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you weren’t an amazing human being. He will be proud.”
“But—”
She places her finger on my lips. “No buts, now make that call.”
Taking a deep breath, I dig my phone out of my pocket. Unlocking the screen, I bring up my contacts and scroll down to his. My finger hovers over his name, closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and dial.
“Hello?”
“Dad…”
“Gage, I’m so happy you called. I’m sorry for everything. Please don’t be angry at Marlee, she was just trying to help. She reminds me so much of your mother, those two would get along like a house on fire,” he says all of this in one breath.
“Dad,” I yell. “It's okay. I’m not mad at her. And yes,” I stare at her a smile, “she is very much like Ma. I was, umm, ahh, wondering if we can meet up tomorrow?”
“I’d love nothing
more.”
“Do you want to come here for dinner tomorrow night?”
“I’d really like that. Gage, I really am sorry.”
“I know, Dad. I’m sorry too. We are both at fault here. Ma would be disappointed in both of us and our behavior.”
He laughs, “She sure would. I can only imagine the lecture I will get when I’m reunited with her again.”
When he says that, I remember he’s sick and dying. “How are you doing?”
“I’m dying, there’s not much else to say.”
“Dad—”
“No, Gage, it’s fine. I’ve made my peace with it. The last thing I wanted to do before I go is make amends with you. I guess I’m getting my final wish after all.”
We both go quiet. This is too heavy for me right now. “I have to go, Dad, but I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“You can count on it.” He pauses. “I love you, Gage.”
His words shock me. “Bye, Dad.”
Hanging up, I place my phone on the counter. Marlee walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist. “You did a good thing, Gage.”
“I hope so. It was hard speaking to him, but he does sound different. He sounds like the Dad from the few happy memories I have.”
“And tomorrow, you will have new memories to add.”
I think about what she said, and I wonder if our conversation just now was a fluke, and if I’ll be adding happy or sad memories tomorrow.
It’s an hour after Dad was meant to be here and he’s MIA. Shaking my head, I pour myself a drink and walk over to the windows. Looking down to the street, hoping to see him outside—scared and waiting to come up—but the street is empty, except for the mountains of snow. Last night there was a huge snowstorm. My phone rings, I’m tempted not to answer as I don’t want to hear his excuses. I’m really not surprised that he didn’t turn up. It’s typical Dad. When I look at my phone it's an unknown number, so I answer. “Hello, this is Gage.”
“Mr. Grainger. This is Dr. Ashton from The University of Chicago Medicine ER. We have your father, Sullivan Grainger, here. He was—”
“Is he okay?” I interrupt, my heart beating erratically at the news.
“He collapsed earlier today and hit his head. He’s currently stable but he’s asking for you.”
“I’ll be right there.”
The doctor explains to me where to go when I arrive. Racing to my car, I jump in and head to the hospital. When I’m stopped at a red light, I call Marlee.
“Hey, sexy,” she purrs.
“Hey, babe. That was just the welcome I needed.” My voice is rushed and my tone sombre.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Dad. He’s in the hospital.”
”Ohh, Gage, do you need me to come with you?”
“I’m already on my way. I’m at a light and I just needed to hear your voice.”
“Is he going to be okay?”
“The doctor didn’t say much over the phone. I’ll call you when I have more information. I love you, Marlee.”
“Love you too, Gage. Please keep me posted, no matter what time it is.”
I nod my head, I then remember I’m on the phone. “Will do. Bye, babe.” Disconnecting the call, the light changes and I put my foot on the accelerator and drive to the hospital.
Arriving at the hospital, I park my car and race through the corridors to the ward the doctor said Dad was being moved too. Stopping at the nurses’ desk, I’m huffing and puffing.
“Can I help you?” the nurse asks.
“Yes, Sullivan Grainger, has been admitted.”
“You must be Sully’s son?”
My eyes pop open in surprise. “You know who I am?”
“Yes. He talks about you often.” She purses her lips, before adding, “He’s been wanting to reach out for a while but was scared too. After the news earlier this month, I’m guessing he did.”
“What news?” I ask.
Now it's her turn for her eyes to pop open. “I, umm, thought you knew.”
“Knew what?” I ask, my heart beating rapidly in my chest again.
“He’s dying,” she sadly informs.
“Well, I know that. That’s why he reached out to me. Make amends on his deathbed and all that shit.” My reply is harsher than I intended, but who does this woman think she is? She doesn’t know me or our story. “Can you tell me where he is, please?”
She eyes me, sighs, and says, “Room seven-oh-two, to your left.”
“Thank you,” I say, turning on my heel I make my way toward Dad’s room. When I get to the door, I take a deep breath and stare at the wood. Lifting my hand, I push the handle down and open the door. I’m not prepared for what I see. It’s only been twenty-four hours since I saw him, but the man lying in the bed before me is not the man I saw last night, or remember. This man is frail looking. He looks like he’s already dead. He must sense my presence and opens his eyes. When he see’s me, they light up a fraction. “Gage,” he softly whispers.
“Dad,” I murmur, as my eyes well with tears. Walking over to the bed, I pull the chair closer and sit down. “Are you okay?”
“Fit as a fiddle,” he says, with a slight smile.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I was on my way to the bus to get to your place when I collapsed and hit my head. I pleaded with them to call you, but they were focused on stopping my head from bleeding. I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t coming.” He pauses. “I’m sorry, I missed dinner.”
“We can do dinner at my place another time.”
We both stare at each other, silent. We each know that there will be no other dinner, Dad will not be leaving this hospital. My eyes well with tears again, “Dad, I…I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to lose you either, Gage, but my time is up.” He swallows, “I’m sorry I was such a shitty father; before and after her death.”
Reaching out, I hold his hand in mine, then I rest my head next to him on the bed, and for the first time in years, I cry. With his other hand, he rubs my head, just like Ma did when I was little. This moment will be one I will treasure and remember forever.
Leaving the hospital just after midnight, I make my way home, but instead of going to my place, I go over to Marlee’s. Calling her on the way, she’s waiting in the foyer for me when I walk over to her building. She opens the door when she sees me and when I step inside, she envelops me in a hug. For the second time tonight, I breakdown in tears. She doesn’t say anything, she just consoles me and it’s exactly what I need.
When I’ve composed myself, we head up to her apartment. She leads me into her bedroom and strips off my clothes until I’m in just my boxer briefs. We climb into bed and snuggle, I drift off to sleep wrapped in Marlee’s arms. Content and safe.
19
The next morning, I wake before Marlee. Rolling to my side, I watch her sleep, in a non-creepy way. She smiles and whispers, “Are you watching me sleep?”
“Maybe,” I say. Lifting my hand, I brush a lock of hair off her forehead and lean toward her. Placing my lips on hers, I kiss her gently. Rolling her so she is now on top of me, I grip her cheeks, close my eyes and deepen the kiss. We kiss for a while then I feel her hand grip my cock.
My eyes open and I see her baby blues hungrily gazing down at me. “Make love to me, Gage,” she whispers.
Reaching down, I grip the hem of her shirt and lift it over to head. We are now both in our underwear. Our lips find one another again and we hungrily kiss. My cock is rock-hard. She rolls off me and we both quickly remove our underwear. She climbs back on top of me and lowers herself down on my dick.
Her pussy is warm and hugs my cock tightly. She begins to ride me, running her hands into her hair, thrusting her chest forward. Reaching up I cup and massage her breasts. Pulling her forward, I wrap my mouth around her nipple and suck. Marlee moans and the sound is pure bliss to my ears. Licking across her chest, I take her other nipple into my mouth and gently nip and
suck. “Fuuuuck,” she moans.
Sitting up, she wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. I wrap mine around her lower back. We stare at one another as she continues to ride me. Both our bodies tense at the same time and we simultaneously come. Each of us grunting out our release.
We stare at one another for a few moments before she whispers, “I love you.”
“Love you too.” I whisper back, as I gently place my lips against hers.
Marlee climbs off me and walks naked toward the ensuite. Moving to the edge of the bed, I stare at the carpet and hear the shower turn on. Sensing her, I look up and see her leaning against the doorframe. She stretches out her hand to me. Standing up, I link my fingers with hers, while she pulls me into the shower. She pushes me under the water, the temperature is perfect. Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back, and let the water wash over me.
Marlee’s hands are suddenly on me and when I open my eyes, I see that she is washing me. We stare at one another and she continues to wash me. Once I’m clean, I grab her bodywash and do the same to her. We are both silent, but with our gestures and gaze, we have a silent conversation, it’s exactly what I need and perfect.
We step out of the shower, grab our towels, and dry off. Pulling on my clothes from yesterday, I head to the kitchen and put on the coffee while Marlee gets dressed. Looking up, I smile. She’s dressed casually in a pair of black skinny jeans and a white off the shoulder sweater thingy. “You look beautiful,” I compliment.
“Thanks. You look pretty good too.” She steps in front of me and rests her hands on my chest. "How you doing?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, let’s have a coffee and then head to your place. You can get a change of clothes and we can head to the hospital.”
“I have to work, and so do you.”
“No,” she shakes her head, “we have to go to the hospital and be with your dad. I’ve spoken to Kasey and she’ll tell management. I’ve also just cleared it with my boss.”