by Emma Lea
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Acknowledgments
I started writing this book over twelve months ago. The story came to me, as it often does, with just a scene - Nate driving down the highway and hearing Stevie on the radio for the first time. I thought that it would be an easy book to write. I thought wrong.
This book has gone through so many different iterations that at one point I gave up on it. I just didn’t know how to make it work. Nate and Stevie were reluctant characters and I found it really hard to get to know them and tease their stories out. It wasn’t until I came back to it, nine months later, that I finally had a feel for them and what their story was. I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t shoe-horn an ending into the last few chapters.
I am not a fan of cliff-hangers and find I won’t read a book with a cliff-hanger unless I know that I won’t have to wait for the next book. When I got to the end of this book and Nate and Stevie still didn’t have their happy-ever-after, I knew there needed to be a second book but I agonised over doing it. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t make the ending satisfying enough without the addition of a second book and I promised myself that if I was going to write a cliff-hanger then I wouldn’t keep my fans waiting for the next book. So I made sure to write both books before releasing this one so that there would only be a short gap between releases.
I have to thank Kathryn for her unfailing belief that Nate could be a better man. She knew there was more to him than I was writing and so I persevered until he cracked under the pressure and spilled all his secrets.
Thank you to Brooke for correcting all my Australian spelling/slang and making it sound authentically American. Who knew that what we call a ‘bench’ in Australia is called a ‘counter’ in America? And what do you mean you don’t say ‘bloody hell’ over there?
As always I want to thank my husband for his ongoing and unfailing support of my dream. He is my number one supporter and I couldn’t do this without his constant encouragement. I love you.
Thank you to all my readers. It is a wonderful feeling knowing that there are people out there who read my books and find enjoyment in them.
Playlist
The one thing about writing about musicians is the amazing playlist I got to listen to while I wrote.
So. Many. Songs.
Here is just a sample of them:
Till We Ain’t Strangers Anymore - Bon Jovi
Hell on Heels - Pistol Annies
John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 - Keith Urban
Somebody Like You - Keith Urban
We Were Us - Keith Urban & Miranda Lambert
Just a Fool - Christina Aguilera & Blake Shelton
Every Time I Hear That Song - Blake Shelton
Rattlin’ Chains - Baylou
Carry You Home - Ward Thomas
Bittersweet - Kasey Chambers & Bernard Fanning
Dirty Laundry - Carrie Underwood
Church Bells - Carrie Underwood
House - The McClymonts
Different For Girls - Dierks Bentley feat. Elle King
Highway Don’t Care - Tim McGraw feat. Taylor Swift & Keith Urban
Fade Into You - Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio
If I Didn’t Know Better - Clare Bowen & Sam Palladio
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
Fly - Maddie & Tae
More like Her - miranda Lambert
Your Side of the Bed - Little Big Town
Girl Next Door - Brandy Clark
Girl Crush - Little Big Town
Remind Me - Brad Paisley feat. Carrie Underwood
Lighthouse - The Waifs
Wasn’t That Drunk - Josh Abbott Band
Feeding Line - Boy & Bear
There were more…many, many more.
About the Author
Emma Lea is a barista, artist, cook, mother and wife. She lives on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia with her wonderful husband. She has two beautiful, grown-up sons, a dog and a cat (both of which are female because, hey, we needed to balance all that testosterone!)
She is a ferocious reader with eclectic tastes and has always wanted to write, but never had the opportunity due to one reason or another (excuses, really) until finally taking the bullet between her teeth in 2014 and just making herself do it.
She loves to write stories with heart and a message and believes in strong female characters who do not necessarily have to be aggressive to show their strength.
If you enjoyed reading this book, please share the love by leaving a review and telling your friends!
To connect with Emma Lea
www.emmaleaauthor.com
Thanks
Thank you for reviewing this book and recommending it to your friends and family.
Honest reviews are important for authors and I appreciate the time you have taken to share your thoughts.
Would you like to receive an Advanced Review Copy (ARC) of my next book? If so, please contact me via my website (www.emmaleaauthor.com) or my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/emmaleaauthor)
A teaser from the next book…
About Songbird
Stevie Jacks was on her way to the top.
Her dreams of being a country music star were on the precipice of coming true, but there was something missing. Nate Nash. She thought she hated him for the way he left her all those years ago…turns out she was wrong. She loved him then and she still did. For a moment, she thought she could have it all - the guy and the career - but it turned that out Nate was the same selfish bastard he was back then and he once again left her broken-hearted and alone. But she still had her career and with doors opening up everywhere she looked, she was determined not to once again let him rob her of her chance of stardom.
Nate was slowly crawling back to the top of the record charts, but it was a whole lot different the second time ‘round. He missed Stevie like nobody’s business but he knew he was no good for her. He wanted her to have everything she always dreamed about - everything she’d wanted before he stole it from her with the single stupidest idea he’d ever had. Falling in love with her had never been part of the plan and once he had, he didn’t know what he was going to do about it. Would she ever take him back after all the pain he had brought her? Did he even deserve to have her in his life?
This is part two of a two-part story and concludes the story of Nate Nash & Stevie Jacks.
*This is a ‘Too hot to Handle’ Romance on the Emma Lea rating scale - These are definitely 18+ reads and contain graphic sex scenes and high level swearing – not for the faint of heart.
Keep reading for the first chapter.
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Chapter One of Songbird
18 months ago
“Nate Nash! Nate Nash! Nate Nash!”
The familiar chant sounded lackluster. Nate peaked out from the wings of the stage to see the arena. The first thing he saw was the black covers hiding the empty rows. Lots and lots of empty rows. The next thing he saw were the empty chairs not covered by the black material. There were a lot of those too.
The warm-up crew was doing their damnedest to whip the somewhat disappointing crowd into the usual frenzy, but it was hard work. The pre-show band had gotten a better response. Nate didn’t even know their name, hadn’t bothered to listen to them, and avoided the catering area when he knew they were in there. It was a dick rock star move, but he couldn’t help it. His world was falling down around his ears and the last thing he wanted was to see the fuckers that were going to replace him at the top of the food chain.
His gut cramped and he forced down the bile that had risen in his throat. He didn’t want to go out there and face that crowd. He didn’t want to feel his career slipping through his fingers. This whole tour ha
d felt like one big fucking disappointment. His album sales were shit and they couldn’t even fill the stadiums he was booked in to. The reviews for his shows were dismal and he felt like one big giant fraud. What the hell was he doing?
Nausea rose and he ran for his dressing room, barely making it before he voided his stomach into the toilet for the fifth time that day. He had nothing in his stomach except alcohol and a couple of pills Gina had slipped him to calm him down. He’d needed more and more pills with each show and she just kept handing them over to him like they were candy. He knew it was fucked up, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t perform without them.
There was a knock on his door. “Nate? It’s Gina. You need something?”
He didn’t answer. The woman was like a fucking vampire sucking him dry and leaving him addicted to her. What were those people called - the ones that were like blood bags for vampires? That’s what Nate felt like when it came to the woman who had discovered him. She knew just how to stroke his ego so that he would offer up his veins to her. He was surprised he had anything left to give. He felt like a dried out husk and yet she just kept demanding more.
The sad fact was that even though he knew this, even though he knew that she was his worst nightmare, without her he’d be nothing. He’d felt like a nothing for his whole life and Gina had been the only one to believe he could be someone, be something, and she had made it happen. Gone was the skinny kid that everyone patted on the head affectionately and said, ‘you can be whatever you like,’ while smirking in that knowing way that told him he would always be nothing. He was the youngest of four boys, three of whom had been over-achieving alpha-male super-humans, born into a family of over-achieving-alpha-super-humans. He had been the baby and had always been treated like the baby and had been the one that no one ever expected to be successful. The over-achieving-alpha-super-human genes had played themselves out before they got to Nate. He was decidedly average, disappointingly normal and no one had expected anything of him.
Gina had seen something in him, though. Gina had dragged him out of mediocrity and shined the bright lights on him. She had made him a rock star. Unfortunately even she hadn’t been able to hold back the ordinary that clung to him like a bad smell. It had only been a matter of time before the shine had tarnished on his superstar status. A gold-plated turd was still a turd and while she’d been able to fool the public for a while and convince them that he was some sort of rock god, it seemed that the truth had finally been let out of the bag.
The knocking on the door started again. “Nate? I have someone here I want you to meet. I was going to wait until after your show, but she’s really eager to meet you.”
Nate got to his feet slowly. He washed his mouth out and ran some cool water over the back of his neck. He knew what Gina was offering him and like the slut he was, he’d take it and lose himself in the haze of sex to get him over the stage fright that had been getting stronger and stronger with each show.
“Come in,” he said as he unzipped his jeans and sat down in the big chair in the dark corner of his dressing room.
The door opened and a blonde walked in with the biggest tits he’d ever seen. She smiled vampishly at him and dragged her eyes down his body, her eyes lighting up when she saw his open jeans and the tip of his cock poking out. She sashayed over to him, her tits barely moving. They seemed to hover of their own accord as she sashayed closer to him. They were mesmerizing. She wasn’t wearing a bra and he knew that because she was wearing a tight tank top with over-size armholes that left a good-sized portion of side boob bare. Her nipples were hard peaks and his eyes were drawn to them involuntarily.
“Nate—”
He shushed her. The last thing he needed was to hear her talk. He shifted in his chair and pulled his now erect dick out, stroking it a couple of times as he watched her approach. She smiled hungrily and dropped to her knees between his thighs. She took hold of him in two hands and he let go, leaning his head back against the chair and closing his eyes. She gripped him hard, just the way he liked it, and then her wet tongue swiped across the tip. He sighed and let the tension go from his muscles. She slid him into her warm, wet mouth and he groaned appreciatively. The girl had skills.
Her tongue teased him as she sucked. One hand reached into his jeans and fondled his sack while the other stroked him. She took him all the way in her mouth until he could feel the back of her throat and she hummed. The vibrations shot through him and he felt his release gathering in his spine as his balls pulled up tight. She slid his pulsing cock from her mouth and licked the vein on the underside before taking him all the way back in again. When he bumped the back of her throat, she swallowed, her throat constricting around him and causing his eyes to roll back in his head. She squeezed his testes and sucked hard as she dragged her lips back up the length of him. He grabbed handfuls of her long blonde hair and held her still as he lifted his hips and fucked her mouth. She hummed again or maybe it was a protest, he didn’t know, he didn’t care. He came hard, filling her mouth with his hot seed and she swallowed it down as he slumped back in the chair and let go of her hair. She licked him clean and then looked up at him with a self-satisfied look on her face. Her eyes were a little wet from nearly choking on his cock, but he liked the look on her.
“I’m gonna need another one of those,” he said, his voice raw. “But first I gotta go make some magic.”
“I’ll be here waiting for you,” she replied, standing gracefully and removing her top. Her tits winked at him and he knew he would be fucking them later that night.
He stood to his feet and zipped up. He gave her a wink and sauntered from the room. The high from his orgasm would get him through the initial songs until he fell into the euphoria of performing. Once the stage lights and the music surrounded him, he’d forget that the pedestal he was standing on was crumbling under his feet and he’d feel alive again, if only for a moment. His shitty life would be waiting for him at the end of it all, but at least he had something waiting in his dressing room to look forward to.
Present Day
Nate stepped out of the van and looked around the dustbowl before him. The festival was in various stages of being erected and in the heat of the day it looked like an abandoned theme park. A Ferris wheel stood to the side, not quite fully put together. The shell of the main stage was crawling with workman who cursed and shouted to one another. The smell of cooking meat filled the air as the food vans prepped for the thousands of hungry festival goers that were already lining up at the gates. It had been years since Nate had been to a music festival, but nothing had changed.
“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Wade said as he slapped Nate on the back.
Nate grunted and nodded noncommittally. He had fallen a long way since the days of touring sold-out stadiums. Seeing this was a reminder for him to not take anything for granted - not his success, not his fame, not his talent. He was slowly beginning to realize that he did have talent and that he didn’t have to pimp himself out to have success. All that stuff with Gina and Rocksteady hadn’t been real - this was real. That other shit had been manufactured and fake. No wonder he’d felt like a fraud. It hadn’t been him at all and at the ripe old age of twenty-seven he was finally discovering who the real Nate Nash was. It had taken a mighty fall from grace, but it had stripped him bare in the process and he felt reborn.
Now he just had to prove to everyone else that the real Nate Nash wasn’t washed up and that he did deserve the Grammy nominations he’d received for his second album. He had betrayed his fans with his third and fourth albums, and his fifth - a greatest hits compilation - wasn’t going to win him any new fans. He hoped that him being here and playing his new stuff, the stuff he had written himself without the interference of his former recording label, would go a long way to repairing the damage he’d done and rebuild some of the trust he’d broken with his fans. The rock star of the past was gone and here was the real Nate Nash, prepared to pay his dues and build his tattered career from the gr
ound up.
“Come on,” Wade said, “your trailer is over this way.”
He might not be the megastar he once was, but he still had money and that meant he had a trailer to hide away in when he wasn’t playing. The festival was three days and he had several sets. Most of them were on the smaller stages placed around the venue and he had one set, on the final night, on the main stage. He had two and a half days to win some fans so that that final performance wouldn’t be a complete cock-up. He had wondered time and again how many people were coming to see him just so they could see him make a fool of himself. They were the ones he wanted to prove wrong.
Nate grabbed his battered acoustic case and followed Wade across the dusty field. The little grass that was left had been ground into the dirt from the trucks and boots of the bump-in crew. He hoped it didn’t rain. The dust bowl would turn into a mud puddle without much coaxing and that wouldn’t be fun for anyone.
Nobody paid any attention to him as they walked across the grounds towards his trailer. It was an odd feeling for him; for so many years he had been dodging the media and was inundated with autograph hunters and women who wanted a piece of him. That had all started to fall away after the launch of his fourth album and the failure of his last tour. Now nobody knew his name, or if they did they weren’t impressed. For the first time he realized what Mabel and Wade had being trying to tell him. His fans were gone. They had moved on to other artists who could give them what they wanted. It made him feel empty and afraid. The old feelings of mediocrity and ordinariness that he had pushed against all his life threatened to suffocate him.