by Howard, Bill
The court was quiet. Unnervingly so, but the eerie glow of summer dusk could have had something to do with that as well. Thom pointed out a house on the opposite side of the court, a tall, three-story century home with a large detached garage. I was the only one who recognized it besides Thom, as we had spent many nights in the professional studio inside his garage, laughing together until the break of dawn. Max started to growl lowly, and Ellie pulled his leash to keep him quiet. We started out across the street until we reached the threshold of Thom’s doorstep. Thom dug a key out of his jeans and unlocked the door, letting us all in first before following after, then locking the door behind him.
Nothing seemed disturbed in the house. We spread out and did a quick sweep of the entire place. We rejoined in the living room just as Thom was turning on the air conditioning. Initially, I thought it was strange that he had power, but then I remembered Thom had a generator backup in case of power outages for nights he was working in the studio. The cool air coursed through the vents and filled the room, causing everyone to instantly collapse into the leather furniture in relief. Thom went into the kitchen for a few moments and returned with cold beers for all of us, and a bowl of water for Max. I was never much of a beer drinker, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t love beer that night. Thom left us for some time so he could be alone upstairs, presumably to gather some things and reflect on the fact that he had made it home. I glanced at the framed photo of Thom, Nicole, and Sam on the living room wall. They looked so happy together and my empathy for Thom kicked in hard. All I could think about was how I would feel if I lost Diane and Jordan. My heart broke.
The rest of us sat around for a few hours talking like regular human beings, which felt good--normal. At around eleven that night, I realized Thom hadn’t reappeared yet, and I thought that maybe this was my chance to go talk to him in private. I excused myself and headed up the stairs to Thom’s room. I hadn’t been to Thom’s house in quite a while--he usually opted for hanging out at my house--it was less awkward for him, I suppose, to be somewhere else. The house hadn’t changed since Nicole and Sam died. Everything was exactly as it had been the day of the accident, even Sam’s bedroom. Thom’s door was closed and for a second I thought of turning back. But then I thought I had come this far, I might as well try. I knocked lightly on the door. Thom’s voice came back, quietly.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and Thom was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. I stepped in, closed the door behind me and sat on the floor beside him. He didn’t hit me so I figured it was okay. We sat for a few moments in silence, both of us staring into nothingness. I glanced over to his hands, which were in his lap. Gently cradled in them was gold ring and a red barrette, which I assumed was Sam’s. The ring I recognized, as it looked the same as Thom’s, it was one he had designed himself for their vows. I realized now why he was so desperate to get back to an empty house. It held the only things that still connected him physically to Nicole and Sam. I raised my hand and set it on his shoulder.
“Thom. I’m so sorry. About everything. About Isabel. You know I never intended for anything like that to happen, I just couldn’t leave them all there.”
Thom took a deep breath. It was released in a sob, against Thom’s will. He turned his head and for the first time in a long while, he looked right into my eyes.
“You know, Nicole really loved you. Sam too. Do you remember when Nicole had the miscarriage? You and Diane took Sam for almost a week. You cared for her as if she was your own. No hesitation, no questions. You just did it. That was a really hard time for us, and it would have been even more unbearable if it weren’t for you two. We’ve been through a lot together, but I realized sitting in the basement of that church that it was more than that. I have friends, we all have friends. You’re my brother. Your family is my family. Ever since the accident, I have felt so alone. I know you’ve tried to console me; you and Diane have been there for me and would do anything for me. But it was me; I had to get to this point. I felt like I had lost everything good in my life, and it was just compounded by what happened to Isabel. What I didn’t see was you standing in front of me. That you are trying to get home to your family, and that is the only family that I have left. I can never fill the hole that was left after the accident. I miss them so much I feel like my heart is being drained every morning that I wake up. But I do know now that I have you, and I will do my best to make sure you get home. I won’t let you down.”
I reached over and we wrapped our arms around each other, and Thom cried into my shoulder.
I stood up and offered my hand to Thom, who took it and stood beside me.
“Let’s get out of here before someone sees us acting like little girls,” he muttered dryly.
I laughed. Thom almost laughed. That was good to see. We went downstairs where everyone in the living room was fast asleep. Max’s head rose as we walked in the room, but quickly dropped back to the floor. I offered to stay up and keep watch, but Thom said he had gotten some sleep at the church, and that he would stay up. He offered me his room, for which I was grateful. A bed was more than welcome to me. I thanked him and headed upstairs. My eyes were closed and the dreams had begun before my head even hit the pillow.
I am standing in a field. A steady wind caused a soft wave through the tall grass. I recognize it to be the field behind my house. But there’s a large red barn. Old, battered. My house doesn’t have a barn. I walk through the grass until I reach the back of the towering crimson monolith. The smell of hay and animals permeates my nostrils. I walk around the side, running my hand along the bumpy stone foundation. I stop at the old wooden door, barely hanging by old, rusted hinges. I put my hand through the hole cut into the planks and pull the door open. Inside, shafts of sunlight cut through the darkness in a thousand places, giving the air a dazzling crystalline effect. The barn is empty; there are no animals, no equipment, and no tools. Just scattered hay. As I proceed further into the barn, I notice something at one end, but I can’t make it out. I walk closer, the hay crackling beneath my feet. The thing is small, maybe two feet high, if that, but still enveloped in darkness. I think I see movement. I step closer still. The end of the barn comes into view and I see a baby, sitting on the floor in the hay. It is very small, almost newborn. It’s just sitting there upright, as if in an invisible chair. Its tiny fingers are moving ever so slightly, its head slightly lowered; I can’t see its eyes. I take another step. The baby’s head starts to rise and its eyes meet mine. The barn around me begins vibrating, but so fast, it doesn’t seem to be moving at all. I can just feel it. The baby just continues to stare at me, and I see now that its eyes have a faint tinge of yellow to them. The baby seems to be vibrating now too, even faster than the barn. I can feel an intensity in the baby, as if the vibrating is going to lead to something. Something bad. The baby now seems to be on the brink of losing control, and yet is not even moving. Its eyes are all I can see now, and I’m frightened. I’m terrified to my very soul, more scared than I have ever been. I scream without opening my mouth, but I cannot hear it. I can feel the scream inside me, but I’m unable to move or make a sound. The baby. I can’t stop looking at it. I can’t close my eyes but I don’t want to look at it anymore.
My eyes snapped open to gaze upon the stucco ceiling in Thom’s room. The sheets beneath me were damp from the cold sweat that encompassed me. I wondered why I woke just then. I didn’t even want to think about the dream I had, I still felt uneasy from it and I didn’t want any of its images in my head. I got up and went into the bathroom, drank some water, and stared into the mirror at my own face. I barely recognized myself. My eye sockets were sunken; my skin looked grey and old. Is this what a few days can do to a man? I heard a noise from the hallway, went through the bedroom to the door, and opened it, coming face to face with Thom just as he was reaching for the door.
“There’s something outside. I don’t know what, and I don’t want to panic everyone for nothing, but I thought you might be
able to check it out with me?”
I agreed and picked up my gun. We went downstairs. Thom said the noise came from the front of the house, but he couldn’t see anything through the window. I told him to check the windows and doors to make sure everything was still closed and locked, and I would check out front. He took off into the back as I unlatched the front door. I opened the door slowly, peering through as I did. There didn’t seem to be anything there. I opened it further and stepped onto the porch, checking either side of the door then standing on the porch. It was quiet. There were no sounds of distant traffic, no crickets chirping, no dogs barking. Nothing at all. I took one last look around, then went back inside, locking the door tight behind me. I poked my head into the living room; everyone was still sleeping. Max raised his head once again and stared at me. I walked over to him and lifted the end of the large coffee table, pulling the leash handle out from under it.
“You gotta go pee buddy?" I asked quietly.
I walked Max through the dining room and into the kitchen, looking for Thom. I didn’t see him anywhere, so I took Max into the mudroom so I could take him out back to do his business. As I entered the small mudroom, I noticed the door to the backyard was wide open. I put my hand on the door and looked outside; hoping Thom was standing out there. He was, about ten feet from the door, on the lawn. Max started to growl.
“Its okay buddy, its just Thom.”
I stepped out towards Thom and thought I heard him crying again.
“Thom? Are you okay?”
I approached him and stepped to the side, coming up on his right. He had his gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other, pointed to the ground.
“Thom. What’s wrong?”
He turned his head to me and tears soaked his face.
“She's back Denny.” he sobbed.
His hand holding the flashlight raised and shone into the backyard. The beam of light settled on a person standing about twenty feet from Thom. As the light went across the grass and up the legs of the person, it settled on the face, and Thom let out a quick whimper. It was Isabel. She just stood there, filthy, dried, caked blood all over her face and covering her arms right up to the elbows. Max barked loudly and lunged, yanking the leash out of my hand. In two seconds, Max reached Isabel, and jumped towards her. Isabel raised one arm and smacked Max right out of the air, sending him rolling through the grass. In the same moment, she ran right towards us, arms outstretched. I raised my gun and fired a shot, but it flew right over her shoulder and into the bushes--she was moving too fast for me to react. Within moments she was on top of us, striking me in the chest and sending me backwards into the wall of the house. She grabbed Thom by the jaw and looked him in the eyes for a split second. Thom dropped the gun and flashlight and they both disappeared from my view, all I could see was a cylinder of light rolling through the grass. I could hear some struggling, and then a bright light blinded me and I turned my head away. A loud shot thundered right beside my head and I fell to the ground, covering my ears. Dazed and startled, I sat back up and looked over my shoulder. The back door light was on now, and Stephen stood in the doorway with a rifle leveled to his eye. Behind him stood the others, and Ellie called back a limping and whimpering Max. Everyone shone their flashlights in Thom's direction, lighting him up like a marquee. Thom was standing in the yard, holding Isabel in a sort of headlock. Thom looked calm, but Isabel was snapping and waving her arms around.
“Thom. Jesus Christ, Thom. Are you okay?”
Thom just stood there with Isabel to his chest.
"I need some rope, some duct tape, and a stick or broom handle or something."
We all just stood there staring at him.
"NOW."
Stephen jumped when Thom said this, and ran back into the house. Ellie remained in the doorway holding Max's collar. Max didn’t seem to want to bark at anyone anymore, he had enough for today. Stephen returned a few moments later with the materials Thom had asked for, running out to the lawn and throwing them on the ground in front of him. Thom pushed Isabel to the ground and got on top of her, his knee on the back of her neck keeping her face in the dewy grass. We all stood in puzzlement as Thom started going MacGyver on us, roping this, taping that. When he was done, he had fashioned what looked like one of those poles that animal control uses for out of control dogs. He looped the thick rope around Isabel's neck and stepped back. Isabel instantly jumped up and turned, lunging for Thom, but the pole held and jerked her whole body as she realized she couldn’t go anywhere. Thom had full control of Isabel through the pole and stood there with it in both hands, looking into Isabel's face. I moved the flashlight beam over the rest of Thom and could see now that she was away from him that he was covered in blood. I shone the light to the side of his neck, where the oozing blood from a massive bite wound glistened as it pumped out and down, soaking his shirt.
"Thom. Your neck. We have to take care of that. What are you going to do with her?" I asked, genuinely curious what the point of the contraption was.
Thom turned his head slowly and looked at me, still holding Isabel at a safe five-foot distance from him.
"She's coming with us."
CHAPTER 31: WHERE THE HEART IS
We reached Altona Forest in about an hour and a half. Thom assured us that his house was only about thirty minutes from our current position. We were all ragged at this point, and it showed in our pace. But at least we were alive and relatively well. During our walk through the forest at the end of this summer day, the coolness from the shade of the trees felt good and it brought back memories of home. I longed to be there with Diane and Jordan, longed to hold them. It pulled at my soul, tugging me along like a rope tied to my ribcage, slowly dragging me back. It was all that was holding me upright at this point. I thought about what I was going to do once I got home. Would we just hole up until this blew over? Would we go for help, find the military? I didn’t know.
We reached the other side of Altona Forest in good time, all things considered. The forest rejoined civilization on the other side of a ravine, a steep hill rolling up and onto a quiet court. Thom went up first to check the area. We all waited breathlessly at the bottom of the hill. Thom motioned back to us to come up and we all rose from the tall grass and joined him on the hilltop.
The court was quiet. Unnervingly so, but the eerie glow of summer dusk could have had something to do with that as well. Thom pointed out a house on the opposite side of the court, a tall, three-story century home with a large detached garage. I was the only one who recognized it besides Thom, as we had spent many nights in the professional studio inside his garage, laughing together until the break of dawn. Max started to growl lowly, and Ellie pulled his leash to keep him quiet. We started out across the street until we reached the threshold of Thom’s doorstep. Thom dug a key out of his jeans and unlocked the door, letting us all in first before following after, then locking the door behind him.
Nothing seemed disturbed in the house. We spread out and did a quick sweep of the entire place. We rejoined in the living room just as Thom was turning on the air conditioning. Initially, I thought it was strange that he had power, but then I remembered Thom had a generator backup in case of power outages for nights he was working in the studio. The cool air coursed through the vents and filled the room, causing everyone to instantly collapse into the leather furniture in relief. Thom went into the kitchen for a few moments and returned with cold beers for all of us, and a bowl of water for Max. I was never much of a beer drinker, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t love beer that night. Thom left us for some time so he could be alone upstairs, presumably to gather some things and reflect on the fact that he had made it home. I glanced at the framed photo of Thom, Nicole, and Sam on the living room wall. They looked so happy together and my empathy for Thom kicked in hard. All I could think about was how I would feel if I lost Diane and Jordan. My heart broke.
The rest of us sat around for a few hours talking like regular human beings, which felt good--no
rmal. At around eleven that night, I realized Thom hadn’t reappeared yet, and I thought that maybe this was my chance to go talk to him in private. I excused myself and headed up the stairs to Thom’s room. I hadn’t been to Thom’s house in quite a while--he usually opted for hanging out at my house--it was less awkward for him, I suppose, to be somewhere else. The house hadn’t changed since Nicole and Sam died. Everything was exactly as it had been the day of the accident, even Sam’s bedroom. Thom’s door was closed and for a second I thought of turning back. But then I thought I had come this far, I might as well try. I knocked lightly on the door. Thom’s voice came back, quietly.
“Come in.”
I opened the door and Thom was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. I stepped in, closed the door behind me and sat on the floor beside him. He didn’t hit me so I figured it was okay. We sat for a few moments in silence, both of us staring into nothingness. I glanced over to his hands, which were in his lap. Gently cradled in them was gold ring and a red barrette, which I assumed was Sam’s. The ring I recognized, as it looked the same as Thom’s, it was one he had designed himself for their vows. I realized now why he was so desperate to get back to an empty house. It held the only things that still connected him physically to Nicole and Sam. I raised my hand and set it on his shoulder.
“Thom. I’m so sorry. About everything. About Isabel. You know I never intended for anything like that to happen, I just couldn’t leave them all there.”
Thom took a deep breath. It was released in a sob, against Thom’s will. He turned his head and for the first time in a long while, he looked right into my eyes.
“You know, Nicole really loved you. Sam too. Do you remember when Nicole had the miscarriage? You and Diane took Sam for almost a week. You cared for her as if she was your own. No hesitation, no questions. You just did it. That was a really hard time for us, and it would have been even more unbearable if it weren’t for you two. We’ve been through a lot together, but I realized sitting in the basement of that church that it was more than that. I have friends, we all have friends. You’re my brother. Your family is my family. Ever since the accident, I have felt so alone. I know you’ve tried to console me; you and Diane have been there for me and would do anything for me. But it was me; I had to get to this point. I felt like I had lost everything good in my life, and it was just compounded by what happened to Isabel. What I didn’t see was you standing in front of me. That you are trying to get home to your family, and that is the only family that I have left. I can never fill the hole that was left after the accident. I miss them so much I feel like my heart is being drained every morning that I wake up. But I do know now that I have you, and I will do my best to make sure you get home. I won’t let you down.”