Infinite

by Amy Richie

  I shook my head slowly. That wasn’t really true though. Killing that wolf hadn’t been easy. Washing the blood off my hands had been even worse. I wasn’t ok, I was just better at hiding it.

  “It is,” I nodded quickly as I admitted it out loud and realized even more that it was true. “It is affecting me.”

  “You’re just made of tougher stuff,” Miranda spoke suddenly.

  I jerked my head up to look at her. She was staring at me, smiling a little. “You ok?” I asked quickly.

  “Not really. You?”

  “Nope.” I sank down beside her, close enough that our knees touched.

  “That makes me feel better, you know.”

  She looked better. Her cheeks had a bit more color in them and her mouth wasn’t so severely tight. “Hmm.”

  “Will the others come after us now?”

  “Probably,” Paris answered shortly.

  “But we’ll be long gone by then.” I don’t know what made me say it. Maybe it was the way her bottom lip trembled or the terror that flitted through her eyes before she could mask it. I already knew we wouldn’t be together for much longer though. I should have kept my mouth shut. I didn’t look at Liza, because I already knew what she would be thinking. I rolled my eyes and bit down on the inside of my cheek.

  “We won’t be able to outrun them though,” her voice started to rise.

  “Ha!” Paris snorted. “Wolves are incredibly slow.”

  “We’ve never ran into one that could outrun Liza,” I seconded.

  “You’ve… You’ve seen wolves before?” What little color had come back to her face, drained again.

  “A few,” I shrugged. “So.” I needed to go soon but first I wanted to be sure that Miranda would be taken care of. “Where are Own and Addison?”

  “Yeah.” Miranda sat up straighter, as if she had just now thought of her brother/sister duo. “Why weren’t they with you?” She looked around eagerly, perhaps expecting them to jump out from behind the nearest tree.

  They didn’t.

  Paris cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. My breath hitched up a notch. Something was wrong. It must have been bad since he had waited so long to tell us. I kept my eyes trained on him, willing him to look up and meet my stare. Within seconds he complied but I didn’t like what I saw there.

  “Just say it,” I forced the words from my throat. “Where are they?”

  Miranda seemed to finally catch on that something was wrong; she leaned closer into my side. “Where is Addy?” she asked in a near whisper.

  He was shaking his head before the words even got past his lips. “There was nothing I could do, nothing any of us could do.”

  “About what? What happened?”

  “Are they hurt?” Miranda asked frantically.

  “The wolf was fast, faster than I’ve ever seen. And strong.” Unable to look at Miranda anymore, he turned to me. “I don’t know how you managed when two full grown vampires couldn’t get past him.”

  “They are dead then?” I asked bluntly. It was better to just know, wasn’t it?

  “Yeah.”

  He spoke in a low voice, but Miranda jerked back as if he had screamed at her. “I don’t believe you,” she screeched. It didn’t come out very loud though.

  “I’m sorry, Miranda.” He tried to take her hand but she pulled back from him hard, sending her elbow into my stomach. “I promised her that I would take care of you though, and I stand by that promise.” His intense eyes never left her face.

  “They are not dead, they can’t be.” She looked to me for help, but I couldn’t get my voice to work. I hadn’t known the duo well enough to mourn their death but my heart broke for Miranda. “They can’t die, they’re vampires.”

  “We can die.” Paris bowed his head but he didn’t move from his spot beside her.

  “They… They promised to stay with me… Forever. They promised.” Her fingers began to twirl her hair in mad little motions of grief and panic.

  “You’ll be ok, I won’t let any of the wolves….”

  “Shh,” she snapped her fingers over his mouth before he could finish his vow. “Don’t you make me any promises,” she spit. “They shouldn’t have gone with you. They should have stayed.”

  He looked to me for help but I didn’t know what to say. How would I feel if it had been one of the sisters that died, or all of them? They would have fought for each other so it was likely that all of them would have died. I don’t know that I would want anything said to me. So I sank further into the ground and waited for her to start crying. That’s what a normal person would have done. Especially after the day we had been having. Things really couldn’t get much worse.

  Miranda laid her head in my lap, but she didn’t cry. She just laid there while I ran my hand through the short hairs on the side of her face. I remembered when I was a kid, my mom used to rub my hair the same way when I was upset. I couldn’t imagine any of the sisters doing it now, but I also couldn’t imagine myself getting so upset over something.

  Paris watched me with a strange expression on his face, one that I couldn’t decipher. Was it weird for me to be comforting Miranda? Maybe I should tell her to buck up and follow Paris. He would keep her safe; I had no doubts about that. I didn’t know if she would go with him, though. She might not trust him now. It wasn’t his fault that Owen and Addison had been killed, but grief didn’t always let you see things clearly.

  “Where will you go now?” I asked over her head.

  He shrugged. “I guess I’ll take Miranda to Blakesly House. Maybe Kiera will know what to do with her. She has a soft spot for humans.”

  “Hey,” Gloria was abruptly next to us. “Let’s go.”

  I stared up at her, my emotions swirling so fast that it made me dizzy. “Go where?” I asked stupidly.

  “We’re leaving,” she growled.

  Why was she saying it in front of Paris? “Um…”

  “I’ll find you again, you know,” he threatened softly.

  “Maybe,” Gloria shrugged, unconcerned.

  “After I get Miranda to safety, I’ll come for you.” This time, his voice was a little harsher.

  Miranda gripped tight to my pant leg. He was right, he would be able to find us again. We couldn’t hide form the Letrells. Maybe it was better not to hide. Besides, how would I leave Miranda?

  “Say your goodbyes,” Gloria ordered. She turned sharply to stomp back over to Liza and Melody. They weren’t far from us now.

  Goodbye? I had never had to say goodbye to anyone before. I never knew anyone well enough before. We left, moved from town to town all the time, but I never told anyone goodbye. What were the right words to say? I swallowed thickly.

  “I have to go with them,” I whispered apologetically to Miranda.

  “Don’t go,” she moaned.

  “Paris will take care of you.”

  “Please.”

  It was so much better when she wasn’t saying anything. I heard the tears warping her voice, breaking my resolve to go with the sisters like I knew I should. “I can’t stay, they’ll leave me.” I heard the truth in my own words. They wouldn’t hesitate to leave me if I refused to go with them.

  And yet….

  “I’m staying,” I said suddenly, almost surprising myself.

  “What?” I heard a trio of disbelief.

  “I’m not leaving Miranda. I’ll just go with Paris to take her to Blakesly House.” I made the plan up as I went along but it made sense. If I went to Kiera now, willingly, and told her that I wanted to stay with the sisters, maybe she would let me go with them. Paris could help me find them and everything would be perfect.

  Things didn’t usually go perfectly, but I was desperate enough to stay with Miranda that I let myself be talked into it.

  “You’re coming with us.” Gloria was back in my face in a flash of movement.

  “I’m taking Miranda to Blakesly House,” I repeated stubbornly. “Then I can talk to Kiera.”


  “This isn’t up for discussion,” Gloria hissed.

  I looked to Paris for help but he was watching Miranda. “I’ll be fine.” I tried to smile but it wasn’t easy with Gloria glaring at me just inches from my face.

  “You will do what you’re told,” she said in her calm dead voice.

  I had never even tried to argue with that voice before, but I didn’t back down this time. “I’m staying with Miranda.” I left my hands dangling at my sides until they brushed the grass. The tips of my fingers had gone strangely numb, but no one was moving. I was still breathing ok. I had never seen Gloria angrier though.

  Chapter 31

  Gloria didn’t move for several long seconds. Miserable seconds. When she spoke again, her voice was strained and too high. “I’m sure that Paris would agree that he can take care of one stupid human without your help.”

  I set my lips stubbornly though. I was staying with Miranda now, no matter what. I would see her through to Blakesly House and make sure Kiera took care of her, then I would find the sisters. I couldn’t stop now and think about how hard that would be. Impossible even. Paris would help me.

  Liza scoffed loudly, as if she knew what I had been thinking and disagreed with it. My eyes swung over to glare at her. “Don’t be stupid, Lex,” she sneered.

  I pulled my head back, surprise clearly written on my face. Liza always talked about getting rid of me. Now was her chance. Didn’t she want me to go?

  “I have to go talk to Kiera sooner or later anyways.” The ground at my feet was suddenly extremely interesting.

  “And you’re just going to walk up to her and say… What are you going to say,” she scoffed. “It’s like a rabbit walking up to a werewolf and saying ‘well, it was going to come to this sooner or later.’” She raised her voice a few octaves to mock my words.

  Maybe I did sound a little naïve, but I couldn’t back down now. “What do you suggest? Running? Gee, that got us pretty far!”

  “Lexi!” Gloria bent down abruptly and grabbed a hold of my arm, pulling me roughly away from the other two. Was she going to force me to go with her? Was Paris just going to sit and let her?

  “What are you doing?” I twisted out of her grip and rubbed the tender spot that her fingers had left.

  “What am I doing?” The veins in her neck throbbed out at me. “What do you think you’re doing, Lexi?”

  “I’m staying with Miranda,” I repeated. The more often I said it, the firmer my resolve became.

  “You have always been a good girl.” Her index finger was too close to my chest but I held my ground. “You’ve always done what you were told.”

  “I know,” my lips barely opened but she still heard me.

  “Then what is going on here? Just keep your mouth shut and get on Liza’s back.”

  My breath sounded too heavy in my ears. Gloria was right; I always did what I was told. It’s what had kept me alive for so long. It’s what helped me kill that wolf. How could one little human girl change all my years of hard learned lessons?

  “I just feel guilty leaving her here. She doesn’t even have her vamps anymore.”

  “Paris will look after her. She isn’t our problem.”

  I didn’t think of Miranda as a problem though, she was my friend. “She’s afraid of him,” I muttered.

  “For good reasons, too,” she fired. “But he won’t hurt her. He promised Owen, and he doesn’t take his promises lightly.”

  Neither do I, I didn’t say out loud.

  I turned away from Gloria to look back at Miranda and Paris. She had her eyes trained on me, tense and waiting to see if I would stay. I had already made up my mind though. I would see it through to the end now—no matter what.

  I was surprised that Paris didn’t come to my aid at all. He had been so sure that he would take me to Blakesly House before. Now, I was practically throwing myself at him and he sat by and watched while the sisters tried to talk me out of it. His lips were held in a tight angry line, angry or determined—I couldn’t tell.

  Miranda made a move to get up, but Paris tugged her gently back to the ground. I saw him shake his head and saw his lips moving but I couldn’t hear what he was telling her. It was strange for me—looking at Miranda, realizing that I actually did care about someone else. I had just never been given the chance before.

  The sisters always kept me moving from place to place too quickly for me to form any attachments. Maybe, deep down, I was a caring person. A gory vision with white fur flashed in my mind. Maybe not. But I did care about Miranda. I wasn’t ready to just leave her to her fate—even if she was in the capable hands of Paris Letrell.

  Gloria, who sometimes had the uncanny ability to know what I was thinking, gripped my arm hard to bring my attention back to her. “This isn’t your choice,” she hissed, way too close to my face.

  I knew better though. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t still be standing around. She hesitated because Paris was here. “I’ll find you guys again after I know Miranda is safe,” I said in a low voice.

  She smiled then, a tight smile that wasn’t humorous. “Maybe,” she replied with a curt nod.

  Was that it? Was she going to let me stay? My thoughts made me pause. Things had changed so much in just a few hours. When I first met Paris, my only thought was how to get him away without taking me with him. Then, when the sisters left to chase the white wolf, my greatest fear was that they would leave me to save themselves. Now, here I was wanting them to leave me.

  What was wrong with me? Had I always been so fickle? The answer came almost immediately. Not until I met Paris Letrell. I did want Miranda safe, but more than that I didn’t want to leave Paris yet. No way was I admitting that out loud though. Not with him so close by. He could every word we were saying, no matter how hard he tried to appear like he wasn’t listening. And certainly not out loud to the sisters.

  “Wait a minute,” Melody’s voice cut through my disturbing thoughts. She held her hand up and came closer. “You actually want to stay with him?” Her eyes were wide and bright.

  “Just until we get Miranda somewhere safe,” I insisted. I crossed my arms over my chest but dropped them again quickly.

  “You just met her.”

  “I know.” I shrugged awkwardly. Melody was right; I had just been thinking the same thing.

  “So why the attachment?”

  “Her vamps are dead,” I said as if that explained everything.

  “I was there,” she shook her head. “They were foolish and paid a heavy price. They thought they were invincible, that the wolf couldn’t hurt them if they fought together. They were wrong.” Her eyes half closed for a moment, then popped back to me. “Don’t be foolish, too, Lexi,” she pleaded.

  “I’m…not.” Was I?

  “Forming an attachment to a human you barely know is foolish,” she snapped, then smoothed her expression almost immediately.

  Melody was wrong though. I was human, too. It was in our nature to form attachments to each other. It was true that I didn’t know Miranda very well, but we had been through a lot in that short time. Wasn’t it only natural to want to keep her safe? They were vampires, they couldn’t understand.

  I shrugged. It didn’t matter what any of us said, I wasn’t going with the sisters today. Maybe they would stay with us. “I’m not leaving you,” I corrected my thoughts out loud. “I’ll be back with you three soon.”

  “You won’t be able to find us.”

  “I will.”

  “Kiera won’t let you leave,” she tried again.

  I took a shaky breath and opened my mouth to argue further, but Liza suddenly jumped into the argument with her own sneering opinion. “You don’t give a crap about Miranda.”

  “Yes I do!”

  “You want to stay for Paris.”

  My face flamed red and I looked at the ground. “That isn’t true,” I muttered, but even I wasn’t convinced.

  “He…is a Letrell.” Her face contorted as she struggled not to scream
.

  The sisters didn’t trust the Letrells and I understood why, but they didn’t even know Paris. Maybe he wasn’t like Damien. I shook my head quickly to dispel the weird thoughts. I was staying for Miranda, not Paris. “I know who he is,” I hissed back.

  She stared at me for a few more tense seconds, and then shook her head so that her pixie strands bounced on her forehead. “I hope your foolishness gets you killed, too,” she snarled nastily.

  It wasn’t anything new to me though; Liza often wished I was dead. Melody gasped though and covered her mouth with her hand. “Maybe you’ll get lucky,” I shrugged.

  “Probably not, though,” a deep voice purred from behind me. I whirled around and came face to face with Paris. My eyes darted automatically to Miranda, still sitting by herself. He shouldn’t have left her, I thought distractedly. “You seemed outnumbered,” he explained in the same lazy voice.

  What was he talking about? “I’m just…talking to the sisters. Telling them that I’ll be going with you and Miranda.”

  “Excellent choice,” he beamed, showing off two rows of gleaming teeth.

  “She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Melody said quickly. “The whole ordeal with the wolf has her confused. We’re taking her away from here, then she’ll be better.”

  His eyes narrowed and swung over to me. “What do you say, Lexi, do you want to go with them or stay with me?”

  Four pairs of acute eyes rested on me. My throat constricted painfully, not allowing any response to come out. I had already said what I wanted to do. Why were they making me say it again? “I’m…going to stay with Miranda.” I barely glanced at Melody or Gloria. I didn’t trust myself not to cave in.

  “We’re not coming with you,” Gloria warned.

  “I never expected you to.” I had only hoped they would. I was careful not to let any disappointment show on my face, though. Of course they wouldn’t stay with us. They thought I betrayed them; that I was choosing Paris over them. Liza might not care, but Gloria and Melody cared enough about me to be hurt.