And now he felt bad for thinking that way. He shoved the trepidation aside. “Did you have someplace else in mind?” he asked.
“Hmm…” Her narrow eyebrows tried to reach each other, too plucked to succeed. She studied the ceiling for a moment. “Maybe I could follow you back to your place?”
Why was he hesitating? It was perfect. A random girl, a random night, and exactly the reason he’d gone out tonight. He gave her his best smile. “Sounds fantastic.”
****
Ethan clicked back the deadbolt, and pushed the front door open. Fingernails slid up the back of his neck, sending pleasant tremors through him. Sonja rested her hands on his waist, chest pressing against his back. If he could just focus on the physical sensations, remind himself this was only about getting laid, the rest of the night would be fantastic.
Her breath caressed his skin with a sour hint of wine. She traced a line along the edge of his ear with her lips, her tongue flicking out to tease. “Nice couch.” Her voice dropped an octave. “What kind of bounce does it have?”
He needed to concentrate on the other things she might be willing to do with her lips. He blocked out her voice all night. He could keep it up. Right?
Jaycie. Maybe she’d want to hang out with them. No, wait. That defeated the purpose. Especially considering the way her gaze locked on his, as she stood frozen in the kitchen doorway, wrinkles marring her forehead.
“Hey.” He grinned at his roommate.
She leaned against a nearby wall, over-size T-shirt hanging off her shoulders and almost hiding her denim cutoffs. Damn, she looked good. Why hadn’t he stayed home with her?
She drew her lips into a thin line. “Hey.”
“Oh.” Sonja dropped her hands, and stepped away from Ethan, allowing cool air to rush in around him. “You didn’t tell me there would be someone else here. I don’t think I’m up for a threesome tonight.”
He expected the suggestion to trigger a new wave of fantasy. Instead, the idea of sharing Jaycie with anyone sent a rush of jealousy through him. There were so many issues with that line of thought, starting with the fact he had no claim on her. “She’s my roommate.”
Jaycie rolled her eyes, and exhaled loudly. She pushed away from the wall with her foot, narrow-eyed gaze drifting to Sonja. “I’ll leave you two alone.”
Disappointment coiled in Ethan’s chest, and he swallowed the urge to stop Jaycie from walking out of the room. Was bringing home women going to be this rough all the time now? Did he even want to try it again after tonight?
New images flitted into Ethan’s head. Jaycie crawling toward him in that shirt, neckline dropping low not because she wanted it to be seductive but because she didn’t realize. She’d probably be a lot of fun—
He pushed the thoughts away. Mostly. He pulled his gaze from Jaycie. He wouldn’t follow the curve of her legs, as they disappeared into her cutoffs. Or think about what was or wasn’t hiding underneath.
Ethan watched Jaycie’s back until she was gone, smiling at the flash of denim-clad ass he saw with her every step. Nice touch.
“Now that she’s gone”—the honey was back in Sonja’s voice. Her tongue traced a line along his ear—“where were we?”
Ethan put some space between them. He couldn’t do this. The problem wasn’t that Sonja had spent the night ignoring him. He wasn’t interested in her company, and it wasn’t fair to anyone to pretend otherwise. “I’m sorry. Tonight is over.”
She wrinkled her forehead, powder caking into the creases. “Not because of her. Right?” She rested her hand on the doorknob, looking him over one more time. “Whatever. And honestly, the couch is a piece of junk.” She pulled the door shut behind her with a soft click.
Ethan rubbed his face, exhaling loudly. He liked his couch. At least Sonja had left without too much drama. Too bad Operation: Get-Jaycie-Out-Of-His-Head was a bust.
He shuffled toward his room, but paused in front of her closed door. He was tired of pretending the attraction wasn’t there. He knocked.
“It’s open?”
He toed the door ajar, and leaned against the frame. “Hey.”
She met his gaze, eyes wide. “What happened to your date?”
“I sent her home. It wasn’t going to work out.”
The corners of her mouth twitched up. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” How could doing something as simple as standing there, swapping inanities with her, relieve the disappointment of an entire painful evening? “Anyway. I’ll be in the living room, watching—I don’t know—something with a lot of explosions, if you’re interested.”
Her almost-smile grew, and she closed the lid on her laptop. “I’m in.”
Chapter Six
Music filtered through Jaycie’s wireless ear buds, as she typed up her most recent review. Last night, when Ethan had walked through the front door with a date, Jaycie’s chest had ached more than she thought possible. Certainly more than was justifiable, all things considered.
Even though she knew it wasn’t a reasonable reaction, she hadn’t been able to hide her relief when he’d sent the other woman home, or her glee when he’d stopped by her room after. She was still amazed something as simple as watching movies with him just felt right.
Besides the amazing view and the random banter, one of the biggest advantages to sharing an apartment with Ethan so far was he let her use his gaming setup in the living room for work. It didn’t change the fact the game she’d just played was weak in a lot of ways, but it sure had made the gorgeous graphics easier to appreciate.
A door slammed, and the entire apartment shook, making her jump. She laughed at her own reaction, but then frowned. That had been their door. She hoped Ethan was okay. She set her music and keyboard aside. Now was a good time for a break, anyway. She’d go find out, and maybe grab something to drink from the fridge.
She spun in her chair, and was startled for the second time in as many minutes when she found him already standing in her doorway. A scowl darkened his features, and he had a copy of next week’s Console Power in his hands.
Her gut sank, dread filling her bones. Was there anything she could say to make this better?
He tossed the magazine on her mattress. “Raiders: Extended hearkened back to the days of classic gaming. And by classic, I mean ET.” A growl cut through his words. “Its saving grace should have been the graphics, but the random holes and missing polygons even marred that. Really?”
She cringed at having her own words spat at her. A part of her wanted to gloss over his anger, not because she was afraid of the conversation, but because in her experience, people in a mood like this weren’t rational enough to talk. But that wasn’t going to fix anything. “You promised.”
His hands balled into fists, and he jammed them into his pockets. “You dragged that out of me without telling me you were about to publicly shred us.”
“Not you. Not even your colleagues. I wrote that before I met you, and you didn’t even work on the game. Besides, this has nothing to do with the guys who worked on it; it’s just a bad game.” A wince built inside ,when she remembered there was one thing about this she hadn’t told Ethan yet. She did know one of the developers from Raiders: Extended. Rich was one of Nick and Kent’s friends. She’d never made a similar agreement not to review his games, though, because he didn’t know what she did for a living.
Ethan clenched his teeth, and flared his nostrils. “But it’s not personal.” His sarcasm was distinctly void of amusement. “You all but called them untalented hacks.”
This wasn’t going anywhere. He was already convinced she’d done this maliciously. Still, she kept talking. “I didn’t even imply it. I said I adored the other games in the franchise. I only questioned the way this one was assembled.”
His entire spine was rigid. “You don’t even know these guys. They’re nice people.”
“I’m not the only one who didn’t like the game.” She’d been reading reviews over the past few days. The
entire industry was lashing out against it. “I don’t doubt they’re all charming and wonderful individuals. But it doesn’t make the game suck any less.”
His growl rolled off the walls. “You’re not helping.”
“You’re not listening. I didn’t want this rift between us. This isn’t about them.” Irritation melded with her desire to explain herself. She wasn’t in the wrong on this, and she didn’t like that he refused to hear what she said. “My job is to tell people what they’re buying. If I gave all the games five star reviews, I’d be lying, misleading people, and out of work.”
“Maybe I should have let you walk away when you tried to leave in the diner.”
The words stung more than any of his arguments. She tried not to make any of this personal, and he was doing the exact opposite. Anger surged inside, and she was on her feet and crossing the room in an instant. She didn’t stop until she was toe-to-toe with him.
Her fury seared away most of her reaction to his heat and normally intoxicating scent. “I tried to tell you this up front. You’re not listening. If this is how you react to critical reviews that aren’t even about your game, how the fuck do you survive in your line of work?”
He worked his jaw up and down, and his scowl wavered before he hardened his expression again. “Reviews like this hurt sales, they damage the entire company, and I have to work with the guys you’re insulting.”
“I’m not insulting anyone.” She raised her voice. “Releasing shitty games hurts your company. Lashing out at the people who were honest about it damages sales. Maybe your friends should stop nursing their wounded e-peens, and get their shit together for the next game.”
He flicked his gaze across her face, his upper lip pulled up in a sneer, and he spun away. “Tell yourself whatever you need, to make you feel better. That review was bullshit, and we both know it.”
She wanted to argue it was easy enough to prove how valid her review was, but he was halfway down the hall. She dug her nails into her palms, as she glared rage at his retreating back. His door slammed between them. She grabbed the magazine off her bed, and flung it toward his room. It fluttered to the ground halfway there, and landed splayed on the carpet.
Asshole. She stalked back to her computer, to finish her work. Seconds ticked away, as she tried to rediscover her center and get back to where she’d been before she was interrupted.
But the focus wasn’t there. With an angry grunt, she grabbed her purse and headed down to her car. She needed to clear her head.
Her phone buzzed, and she pulled up the new email before she started the engine Her mood soured more as she read the short message from her editor at Console Power.
You really pissed off the fanboys on this one.
He’d included clips to some of the retorts from social media.
What kind of idiot doesn’t appreciate a game like this? It rocks.
Get back in the kitchen, pussy bitch.
If J-Dub was a girl, I’d rape that cunt until she knew her place.
Acid surged in her throat, and she swallowed back the bitter taste. It didn’t matter how many similar comments she read or how much she tried to steel herself against them, she never managed to stay as detached as she wanted. The venom always burrowed its way into her soul.
Were any of the comments from one of Kent’s many screen names? She wouldn’t be surprised. She sent her editor back a quick, That means I did my job. Right? then shut off the device and tossed it on the passenger seat. Apparently Ethan wasn’t the only person who was going to take this out on her.
She expected the fans to love or hate her, based on whether or not she agreed with them, but some days their reactions were hard to deal with. None of it hurt as much as Ethan’s words, though. How was it his opinion mattered so much to her already? Maybe she needed to stash that away, along with her reactions to everyone else’s bile.
****
Ethan paused outside Jaycie’s room, frowning at the closed door. Was she still sleeping? It must be nice working from home, and having that luxury of sleeping whenever she wanted.
The moment the thought crossed his mind, he felt guilt. That line of thought wasn’t going to solve anything. He’d been an ass last night, and had tossed and turned for hours.
He’d heard her storm out last night after their fight, but had been too pissed off to seek her out when she came home. After a restless night’s sleep, it was difficult to cling to the same rage that had made him explode. His irritation was rapidly vanishing inside Jaycie’s logical words. That, and the wounded anger that had twisted her expression. He didn’t like that look, and his mind worked overtime to figure out how to get rid of it.
The only problem was, he didn’t like the solution. It meant admitting he was wrong. Was making things right really worth that?
Yes. The answer echoed in his skull. She was worth it. For the sake of peace in the apartment—nothing more.
He paused with his hand halfway to the door when the soft sound of typing drifted to his ears. She was working, but he wasn’t going to leave this as it was. He knocked.
“What?” The short bark greeted him.
“Talk to me.”
“It’s not locked.”
He paused in the doorway.
She spun to face him, eyes flat and lips drawn in a thin line. “Are you going to do this rationally now?”
The edge in her words dragged up some of his irritation, but the desire to make her smile again won out. “I suppose.”
“I wasn’t trying to troll anyone, or piss anyone off.”
He hated having to admit he might have overreacted, but even more, he hated watching her fidget, knowing he was the cause. He pushed pride aside. “It was articulate and well-written.”
Her mouth twisted in disbelief. “I guess I’ll take that. Especially since I’m not up for looking for another place to live right away.”
The words dug deep. “You would have left over this?”
She shrugged. “I thought about it.”
Shit, he couldn’t have that. Thoughts of his plans for the future pinged in the back of his head, but the ache in his chest just didn’t want her leaving. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter Seven
Part of Jaycie wanted to take the apology and just let the incident slide. She hadn’t actually thought about leaving, but once the threat slipped out, it got lodged in her head, and rattled around.
The idea hurt. It clenched in her joints and echoed across every inch of her, and made her grind her teeth. And that might be another reason it was a good idea. She couldn’t do this with him on a regular basis. Arguing over work. Over her opinion. She also couldn’t keep her distance, no matter how much logic she tossed at herself, but falling into anything with him meant she didn’t know how to be alone. She wasn’t strong enough to survive without someone else’s approval.
Ethan’s apology hung between them, drooping as the silence stretched.
She needed to tell him sorry wasn’t a magic cure-all. The words wouldn’t form.
He raked his fingers through his pillow-mussed hair. “Talk to me.”
She shook her head. Time. She just needed a little more time, to compose herself. After a night of irritation, frustration, and no sleep, she wasn’t thinking straight. “Don’t you have to get ready for work?”
He drummed his fingers against his thigh, gaze never leaving her. “I’ve got a little time.”
“You were supposed to be different.” Her brain stumbled. Where had that come from? It wasn’t what she was supposed to say; it hadn’t even been a thought the entire night. Not a fully formed one, anyway.
He stopped fidgeting and deepened his frown. “How so?”
That was a good question. “I spend a lot of time defending myself. As myself, because I like not-girly stuff. As J-Dub, because I speak my mind.” The words spilled out without stopping to be analyzed, pouring past her lips before she could decide if it was smart to say them or not. “I’m not trying to be all woe
-is-me—that’s not it—but sometimes it gets tiring, spending so much time fighting to be allowed to think. You didn’t add to that. I know you didn’t make me some sacred oath that you’d never question me. That’s not even what I want. But…”
She didn’t even know what she was trying to say. Whatever festered inside left her raw like an exposed nerve, and she didn’t know if she wanted to understand it or just make it go away. “I should have trusted my gut in Gwen’s diner. This was a bad idea.”
He furrowed his brow, and his lips drew into a thin line. “Don’t decide that yet.”
She clenched her fist until her nails dug into her palm. If he’d told her she was wrong or being irrational or not thinking clearly, it would have sealed the deal. She would have packed her things and walked out. Now indecision glued her to her seat. “Why not?”
“I made a mistake. Some of it was because all I heard yesterday at work was how wrong all the reviewers were. It’s shit-talking. We do it all the time. But I finally had a focus for that frustration. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, though. There’s no place or time where that’s okay.”
She ground her teeth and dug her nails deeper into her skin, to give her something to focus on besides her growing indecision. He wasn’t supposed to know the right things to say. That wasn’t fair. “No, it wasn’t.” The words came out raspy, and she cringed.
He took a few steps toward her, then stopped. “I know we’re just roommates. But I like having you here. A lot. I don’t want you to have to hold back because of my reactions.”
That wasn’t what she’d been saying was it? Except it was. “If you filter your thoughts to make me happy, that’s not any better than me keeping my opinion to myself.”
He raised his brows. “I’m not filtering anything. Don’t mistake that as a promise, or some sacred oath. I shouldn’t have ever sworn I wouldn’t get mad. That was my mistake.”
The #5Star Affair (Love Hashtagged Book 1) Page 4