by Tillie Cole
I gripped the blanket tighter in my hand, fighting the rage of why some people in this world just get a shit hand, when others swan by without a care. The rage was so intense that my hand began to shake. I focused on my hand, knowing I was close to losing it. Suddenly I felt a brush of cold—ice coldness—on my fingers and snapped my eyes up.
The girl… the girl’s small half-gloved hand was laying atop mine. I swallowed, then swallowed again at the sight, forcing myself to look at her face. Her blue eyes were watching me, and when I finally met her eyes, I paused as her head dipped down.
She was saying ‘thank you’.
My anger instantly evaporated. I didn’t move until the girl withdrew her hand. As she did, I removed the wet blanket from her legs. Large rips covered her jeans, only they weren’t for fashion. The anger almost returned when I saw that the top button of her jeans had been ripped off. An inch of her bare stomach was showing above it, and it was lightly bleeding from a recent scratch.
The guy. The guy I’d seen attacking her had done it. If I hadn’t arrived when I did…
Abruptly, the girl pushed her hoodie down to hide her scratch. Her cheeks were blazing red. I knew it was from embarrassment, which pissed me off even more. She had nothing to be embarrassed about.
Forcing myself to remain calm, I took the two blankets I’d bought and laid them over her. I watched with bated breath, when her eyes fluttered to a close and her hand slowly ran over the soft material. I thought my heart would punch through my chest when her lips lifted in a ghost of a smile.
A dry blanket. That was all it took. To this girl, a dry blanket was like a touch of heaven.
I stayed crouched down, just watching her moment of happiness, until a blast of cold wind whipped around us. The chill seeped into my bones. I was already soaked through and freezing. I couldn’t imagine how this girl felt after being out here for Christ knows how long.
I lifted my coffee off the ground and sat before her. When I looked up, the girl was cradling her coffee in her hands, the venti sized cup seeming to dwarf her small frame. As before, her attention was firmly fixed on me. Shuffling on the hard ground, I said, “I know someone who can help you.”
As I spoke I counted the cracks in the asphalt below my foot. “You can’t stay out here. It’s not safe, and you’re sick.”
Still, there was only silence.
I glanced up. The girl’s sad face was all I could see. My stomach fell. I could see by the look on her face that she wasn’t going anywhere. Sensing my stare, she gently shook her head. My jaw tightened as she did, and I begged, “Please. I can’t in good conscience leave you like this,” I gestured around the alley, “out here.”
But the girl simply dipped her head and took a sip of her coffee. Without thinking I touched her leg, causing her to jump. Her gaze slammed to mine. I tried one last time. “Please.”
Wide-eyed, the girl looked away. Loud voices suddenly filled the mouth of the alley. Leaning back, I saw a bunch of what looked like frat guys taking a piss. They were drunk off their asses and staggering around the litter spilling from the dumpster.
I shook my head. She shouldn’t be around this. It wasn’t safe.
Holding onto my coffee, I stood. The girl rapidly turned her head toward me. I looked down at her, and my heart squeezed seeing her big blue eyes regarding me with questions, with uncertainty.
Moving forward, I pointed to the place beside her against the wall. The girl looked down, and then glanced back up, a shocked expression on her face. But she didn’t tell me no. In fact, she seemed to breathe out a crackled sigh of relief.
Slowly and carefully, I lowered down beside her and wrapped my arms around myself to keep warm. It was freezing.
The girl’s arm brushed against mine. Shivers ran down my spine and I knew it had nothing to do with the chill. I had never been this close to a girl, ever. I laughed inside—the first time I sat beside a girl, she was homeless, and I was trying to keep her safe. Jake and Ashton would have laughed their asses off at this picture. I’m sure this wasn’t what Axel had planned for me to do tonight either.
Feeling eyes on me, I turned to see the girl watching me with her eyebrows pulled down in confusion. Her eyes fell to my lips and I said, “I’m staying here a while. It’s not safe.”
Her pretty face molded to one of misunderstanding. I didn’t elaborate, instead I simply said, “Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”
The girl’s blue eyes filled with tears. I watched, my heart squeezing tight as a tear fell down her cheek, only to splash onto the now-dampening blanket I’d just bought for her.
Unable to see her cry, I leaned forward and questioned, “You’re tired?” The girl hesitated to answer, until she reluctantly nodded her head. Licking my drying lips, I slowly edged forward and stated, “Sleep. No one will hurt you.”
As if gravitating toward the warmth of my body, the girl slumped against my arm, her head falling on my shoulder. She still clutched her coffee in her hand. Her body curled into me, and I glanced down at her blond dirty hair against my arm. She seemed so lost.
I didn’t know how much time passed with her sleeping against my arm, but when her breathing leveled out, I knew it was my chance to get to a phone.
As slow as possible, I lifted the girl from my arm and positioned her against the wall. Getting to my feet, I looked to her huddled down body. Her skin was pale, her thin body shivered, and my stomach dropped. I didn’t want to leave her. But I had to speak to Lexi. I wasn’t sure how much longer she could last out here in the state she was in.
Making sure the blankets hid where she lay, I ran out of the alley and began searching the street for a payphone. It took me four streets and too much time to make the call to Lexi, who answered on the third ring.
“Lex?” I said the minute she answered the phone. “I need your help.”
Lexi agreed to meet me at the Starbucks. As I ran back toward the alley, a rush of guilt swept through me. I’d told Lexi I’d been at the party all night. That I’d found the girl when the party moved on to the bars.
As I ran, I thought of my mamma. She would have done this for this girl. She would never have allowed anyone in trouble to go without her help.
And I needed this. I needed to see another underdog make it through.
I arrived at the alley and, in seconds, sprinted to the back. But when I got there, all that greeted me was an empty coffee cup, discarded food, and the old blanket that had been cast on the ground.
I whipped my head around the alley, searching every inch for the girl, but the truth was as clear as day: she’d left.
My body filled with disappointment. Bending down, I fisted my hand and slammed it against the empty coffee cup on the ground. I ran my hand down my face, when I saw a ripped piece of paper lying on the blanket, under the dry protection of the sloped roof. Frowning at what it could be, I picked it up. Two simple words were scrawled in blotted blue pen across the middle of the page. “Thank you.”
I stared at those two simple words, and they held me frozen to the spot. These were the only words the girl had communicated to me all night, thank you.
I felt a pit cave in my stomach at the thought of her being out on the streets, on her own. I thought of those huge blue eyes brimming with tears, when I told her I would stay and keep her safe. That she could sleep without fear.
Feeling nothing but defeat, I set off down the alley. I searched for her as much as I could. I looked down every alley, doorway and nearby street. But she’d gone, and I had no idea where. Running back to the payphone, I called Lexi and told her that the girl didn’t need our help after all.
Hailing a cab, I went home. To Austin and Lexi’s mansion. To the comforts that surrounded me, while the girl with the big blue eyes walked the streets, sick and alone.
When I slipped into the cab’s backseat, my head fell to rest on the window, the girl’s handwritten note firmly clutched in my hand.
Chapter Four
Levi
; “Happy birthday!” Lexi sang to Ally as we entered the restaurant. Axel and Ally were already at the table of the private back room, along with Molly and Rome. Ally sat beside Axel, her face all smiles as her head rested on his arm. Axel had his arm slung around her shoulder, and he drew her close to his side. My big brother was happier than I could have ever thought possible. The hard gangbanger that I’d always known had found a profound peace with Ally. I glanced to Austin, holding Lexi’s hand, and saw that he had it too.
I knew they both still missed Mamma. I knew they both mourned her every day. The difference between them and me? They had found peace through love. While I was completely lost.
Generally, I was a positive guy, or at least I tried to be, but I always felt that something was missing in my life. My mind drifted back to the homeless girl I’d sat with three days ago, and my stomach sank. She’d been lost too, but worse, she’d been alone. I’d searched that same alley every day since the night she fell asleep against my arm, but the pretty girl had disappeared. The fact I hadn’t helped her when she was obviously sick weighed heavily on my mind.
I should have done more.
Axel, seeing that we had entered, got to his feet. Ally did too. Molly and Rome were smiling wide. I had just wondered why they were so happy, when Ally suddenly thrust her left hand out for us to see. At first I wondered what she was doing, then I heard Lexi squeal and run forward.
It was then that I saw the diamond perched on Ally’s finger, and my eyes shot to my big brother. Axel was already watching me and Austin, waiting for our reaction. Instead of saying anything, he shrugged and ran his hand through his long hair. It was then I knew he was nervous.
Smirking at my brother, I walked forward and he pulled me in for a hug. “Congratulations, Axe.” Moving closer to his ear, I added, “You deserve it.”
Axel held me tighter, and I heard his low voice ask, “Yeah?”
Smiling at the thought that my brother constantly tried to make up for the past by seeking my approval, I pushed back and nodded my head. “Yeah, Axe. You do.”
Axel cupped my cheek and rasped, “Thanks, kid.”
I had just moved to Ally to congratulate her too, when the sound of smashing glass sounded from the kitchen. I stepped back to see what all the noise was about, when I heard a man shouting.
“What the fuck’s happening in there?” Austin asked from beside me. I shook my head wondering too, when the kitchen doors suddenly burst open. What I assumed was the restaurant manager, pushed through, and in his arms he held a girl. The girl weakly thrashed around, but made no other sound but for her heavy, crackled breathing. Unable to clearly see what was going on, I pushed past Rome and Molly until I caught sight of the manager walking to his office on the other side of our private room… and the blood drained from my face.
It was her.
The girl.
The homeless girl was in his arms.
My heart pounded in my chest as she weakly fought the manager’s grip. He abruptly turned and her face came into view. My stomach sank again. She was worse. She looked worse than she did a few nights ago, which to me seemed almost impossible.
Her thin legs dragged on the tiled floor, her body too weak to stand. The sight sent me lurching forward. I ran at the manager, taking hold of the girl’s outstretched arm, pulling her from his grasp. As I did, I glanced down, seeing the girl’s glazed eyes staring up at me. Her pupils were dilated, the whites near gray in color. I could see that although she was looking at me, she really wasn’t seeing me. Her skin was scalding to the touch and her forehead was glistening with sweat.
The manager reached out to take her back, but I growled, “Get the hell off her!”
The manager stepped back, wearing a mask of confusion. “She was stealing. I caught her stealing from the back office. I’m calling the cops. They can deal with it. I’m not hurting her.”
A wave of protectiveness swept through me, and I hissed, “Not hurting her? She’s sick. Can’t you see how sick she is?”
The manager glanced down at the girl in my arms, and shook his head. “This is the third time I’ve had money stolen this month.”
I balked. How could this ass not see that she was sick? That she was starving? He was ringing the cops instead of helping her, instead of actually giving a damn.
“Lev, what the fuck’s going on?” I turned to Austin who had just called my name. His arms were crossed over his broad chest and his dark eyebrows knitted together in concern. I saw him cast a glance at the girl in my arms. I registered the confusion in his expression.
“She needs help,” I said. I focused on the girl, whose breathing was too raspy and deep, too shallow. Her face was puffy and her skin was sallow, drenched in sweat. Her eyes couldn’t maintain focus. Just as I brought her face closer to me, her legs lost strength. I had to keep tight hold to stop her from falling to the floor.
Lexi was suddenly at my side. “Levi?” Lexi held her hand to the girl’s forehead. “God, she’s burning up.”
“I told her to leave when I found her in the office, but she kept going, stuffing her jacket full of cash like I wasn’t even there, her back to me, ignoring my words. I’ve had enough. It’s not just her that keeps doing this to us. We can’t afford it,” the manager complained.
“Lev?” Lexi pushed, and holding the girl closer to my chest, I confided quietly, “She’s the one who took my wallet, Lex.” I could see by the look on Lexi’s face that she still didn’t understand what was going on. Swallowing my pride, I confessed, “The other night, the homeless girl I called you about. It’s her.”
“The one you saw after the party is the same girl that took your wallet?”
I sighed. “I never went to the party…” I trailed off, and felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“What?” Lexi pushed.
“I got to the party and, well, it just wasn’t my thing, okay? So I walked to pass the time. To make y’all think I’d gone.” I looked at the girl’s face and said, “She’s the homeless girl I called you about, Lex. The one that ran away when I went to make the call. I saw a guy attacking her in an alley when I was walking to get a coffee. I helped her. When I realized it was her, the girl who stole my wallet, I tried to be pissed. But then I really saw her: frightened, dirty, thin. I noticed she was sick and, well, hell, I felt sorry for her. I couldn’t leave her. She was so young to be out there at night, all alone.”
“Fuck, Lev,” Austin said from beside me.
I looked to Austin. “I couldn’t leave her there so I bought her coffee and food, and some new blankets. I tried to convince her to come with me.” I tipped my head in Lexi’s direction. “I tried to bring her to you. I thought we could take her to the center, but she wouldn’t come. She didn’t speak to me, not one word, but she was obviously terrified and cold, and weak… she reminded me of…” I swallowed, stopping my sentence right there. But I saw by the sympathy in Lexi’s eyes that she understood who I was talking about. Who she’d reminded me of.
“I couldn’t be mad at her for taking my rosary, Lex. Just look at her. I had to do something.”
Lexi turned to Austin and nodded her head. Austin didn’t say anything in response to her silent communication. Instead, he motioned for the manager to lead him into his office.
The minute they’d disappeared, Lexi pulled out her phone. “Who are you calling?” I asked.
“The hospital we work with, Lev. I’m telling them we’re bringing her in.” The girl moved in my arms. When I looked down, those big blue eyes met mine and the thought of this girl in hospital didn’t sit right with me. I hated hospitals. I hated the idea of her in a hospital, once again alone.
Reaching out I took Lexi’s phone from her hand. “Levi—” she said in protest, when I pleaded, “Just send a doctor to our house. Let’s just take her home and have a doctor come out.”
Lexi stared at me for a few seconds, as I begged her with my eyes to understand. Sighing, she nodded her head. In minutes Lexi had called a d
octor she knew, and he was meeting us at the house.
The door behind us opened and Austin walked out of the office. “He’s not pressing charges,” he informed, talking about the manager. I knew he’d paid him off. I was so thankful right now that my brother had money.
A part of me relaxed and I found myself staring at the girl again. A gentle hand landed on my arm. “Levi, we need to get her home, now. I’m still not convinced she won’t end up in hospital, but she needs medical attention immediately.” I nodded at Lexi.
Knowing the girl wouldn’t be able to walk, I scooped her up in my arms. My heart plummeted when I felt how light she was, but I rushed to the door, home the only thing on my mind. I heard Lexi quickly explaining things to Axel, but I was already at Austin’s truck. Hearing Austin click the locks open, I darted inside and placed the girl on my lap. The girl moved in my arms. As I glanced down, I thought I saw a flicker of clarity in her eyes. Her mouth dropped as if she recognized me and she was relieved. It looked like she wanted to say something to me, but no words emerged from her mouth.
Taking advantage of her attention while I had it, I found myself stroking a piece of hair from her forehead, and I assured her, “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”
I wanted her to speak, to say something in reply. But she only exhaled deeply. As Austin and Lexi jumped in the front seats, the girl’s pretty blue eyes drifted shut.
She knew she was safe with me.
I held her tight all the way home.
* * * * *
My leg shook as I sat on the couch staring into nothing. I’d been staring at the clock on the wall of the living room, the minute hand seeming to drag as it made its tortuous way round the black roman numerals. The doctor had been with the girl in one of the spare rooms for about an hour.
Sighing at why it was taking too long, I sat forward, resting my elbows on my knees. Feeling eyes on me, I looked up and Austin was watching me from his place on the opposite couch.
“What?” I questioned. Austin sat forward mimicking my stance.