by Amy Miller
‘Hi,’ said William when Heidi walked into the garden, her legs jelly. Briefly, they embraced. ‘Happy birthday.’
‘Happy birthday to you,’ she said, smiling as she took a seat. They both gave a little laugh. William sat down opposite her while Max crashed around in the kitchen making coffee. Just the sight of William made Heidi feel emotional. Tears threatened to fall.
‘I’m sorry for what I said about wishing Johnny hadn’t found you,’ Heidi began. ‘It wasn’t true. Not at all true. I was angry. I guess I’ve felt pretty angry since Johnny died. Probably since he had his first heart attack actually.’
William’s knee jogged up and down nervously. He gave her a small smile and nodded in understanding.
‘I was angry too,’ he said quietly. ‘I have been angry for so long. I was angry when I found out I was adopted. Angry that I didn’t get on with my stepdad. Angry that my mum took her own life. Angry that my marriage failed. Angry that I couldn’t stop gambling. Angry that my photography career fell flat. Angry that Johnny died. Angry that I couldn’t give my son the things he wanted. Angry that I couldn’t accept your kindness. Angry with myself most of the time. Just so bloody angry!’
He half laughed and pushed his hand through his hair. Heidi reached over to him and gently touched his hand.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘You’ve had a lot to be angry about.’
‘It was easier to be furious with the world,’ he replied. ‘When I met you, I wanted to find a reason to be angry because I knew I’d lose you anyway, in the end. It was better to push you away, keep you at a distance. And then, when you said you wished Johnny hadn’t found me, I felt validated. I knew I’d lost you. I’d been proven right, so I could go on feeling furious with the world.’
‘You haven’t lost me,’ said Heidi, through tears. ‘I’ve been desperate to talk to you, desperate to see you, but I gathered you needed some space and thought I should respect that.’
William nodded. ‘I wanted the next time we saw each other to be different,’ he said. ‘I wanted to be stronger and know that I’m not going to let you down again. Will you give me a second chance?’
‘You haven’t let me down,’ said Heidi. ‘And yes, of course I will. Will you give me a second chance?’
‘Yes, of course,’ he said, with a smile. ‘Not that you need to ask for one. Heidi, I want you to know that I understand why I was adopted and that I loved my mum more than anything. She was a wonderful person and loved me very much. I think her death floored me and I guess I felt rejected, in a way. I thought if she couldn’t stay alive for me, there must be something seriously wrong with me.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with you,’ said Heidi. ‘Your poor mother. I’d love to hear more about her. I’ve always wondered about her. I don’t intend to try to replace her, William. I would just like to know you. To love you.’
William smiled and wiped his eyes. After a few moments, he jumped up from his chair.
‘I’ve got something for your birthday,’ he said. ‘It’s to show you that I too would like us to get to know each other properly. And to apologise for how I’ve been.’
He disappeared inside Max’s house and came out carrying something big, hidden under a decorating sheet. He gestured that she could take the sheet off – and when she did, she saw a spoon-back chair with a seat embroidered with roses, recently restored and reupholstered. It was almost the same as the one at Joanna’s house – the beautiful chair where she’d nursed William. She gasped.
‘It’s fantastic,’ she said. ‘I’ve been looking for one like this forever!’
‘Max helped me bring it back to life,’ he said. ‘It might not be perfect, but I found it on eBay. It’s pretty similar, isn’t it? What do you think?’
Heidi traced one of the embroidered roses with a finger.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘Thank you so much. I’m really touched by this. And I’ve had a great idea. I can put this in Zoe’s room, so she can sit with baby Johnny there, in the sunshine.’
She swallowed, knowing that she couldn’t keep the tears in for much longer.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ she said, handing William the musical trinket box. ‘I know, when you were angry, you said it didn’t mean anything, but this box has always meant so much to me. It marked the day you were born and Johnny sent it to me at Joanna’s house where I had you. I’ve kept it all these years, tucked away. I’ve repaired it, because I want you to have it.’
William’s eyes misted over. He swallowed and gently opened the box, pulling out the drawer and looking at the Polaroid inside.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Really, thank you for this.’
Heidi moved towards William and they embraced, holding on to each other for a long few moments, half crying, half laughing.
‘You’ll start me off in a minute,’ Max said from the kitchen doorway, holding a couple of cups of coffee. ‘Anyone fancy a swim instead of coffee? It’s a perfect day for it.’
The beach was almost empty. There was no breeze, and the sea was flat and silvery, warmth coming from the sunshine that broke through the clouds. Seagulls hovered in the sky above, keeping a beady eye on the nanny goats munching the shrubs on the cliffs.
Max and William changed and went straight into the water, while Heidi sat on a towel and thought about Johnny and the birthday present he would have revealed had he still been alive. She admired him, for taking such a huge step to find William on his own – and she missed him, beyond words.
‘Thank you for my gift,’ she whispered. ‘Thank you for our son.’
Standing, she pulled off her dress to reveal her swimming costume. Leaving her clothes in a small pile on her towel, she grabbed her goggles and ran towards the sea and into the cold water, letting out a yelp when she submerged her shoulders. Then she put her face into the water and opened her eyes, looking at the wavy patterns in the sand on the seabed.
Lifting her head back up, she spotted Max and William, a little further out from the shore. They waved at her, and she waved back, smiling with abandon, before swimming to join them, full of hope and light.
Epilogue
‘Is everyone ready for this?’ Heidi said, standing at the water’s edge, holding the green frog pot of Johnny’s ashes out in front of her. ‘I think he’s ready to leap in.’
The family had come to the beach before sunrise. Rosalind was wrapped in a thick cardigan and had her arm linked through Tuesday’s; Scarlet and Frankie held hands; Leo stood tall, a new father with his hand on Zoe’s shoulder as she cradled baby Johnny in her arms; William clutched several stems of roses and Max busied himself setting up a chair for Rosalind to sit on. Now, at just after 5 a.m., the sky was staggering. The rising sun painted brushstrokes of orange and gold and pink across the sky. Gentle waves lapped rhythmically on the sand while Heidi pulled off her sandals, wading a little way into the water. The sea was cool and clear, inviting. Tiny fish darted about her ankles. Heidi opened the pot and cleared her throat.
‘We all miss you, Johnny,’ she said, her voice cracking slightly. ‘And we all love you, have loved you, will keep on loving you, but I can’t keep you trapped in this pot any longer on the workshop shelf. It’s time for you to be free; out here on your favourite beach, in the sea, in the wind, part of nature. Goodbye, Johnny – and thank you.’
When she said ‘thank you’, she glanced at William and he gave her a smile, before she lifted the pot into the air and released the ashes. Max started the applause and then they all joined in – Scarlet and Frankie cheering through tears.
As the ashes scattered across the water, a seagull called out, and a small wave swept them further out to sea, like a hand reaching out to gather him up, accepting him. Heidi stood there for a moment, looking out to sea, feeling calm and peaceful, before wading back towards the beach.
‘Would you like me to take a photograph?’ asked William. ‘I’ve got the camera.’
‘Yes,’ said Heidi. ‘Yes please. But can you
do it on a timer, so you can be in it too?’
They arranged themselves into a group, with Zoe at the heart, baby Johnny on her lap.
‘Huddle in,’ Heidi said, bringing the family in closer, tighter.
They all stood still, waiting for the shutter to go off, and Heidi was struck by a memory of the Polaroid of herself and William – how alone she’d seemed in that photograph. It wouldn’t be like that for Zoe – she’d make sure of that.
She reached for William’s hand and squeezed. Baby Johnny would never be alone. His family were all around him – a big safety net of love, ready to catch him should he ever fall. And wasn’t that what everybody needed? Anyone, whatever their story, whatever mistakes they’d made or decisions they lived to regret. Someone to be there offering a second chance. A hand to hold, no matter what.
*
The Bournemouth Gazette
Birth Notice
HANSON, Johnny William, born on 10 June, to Zoe (née Eagle) and Leo, weighing 7lbs 3oz. A treasured grandson to Heidi, great-grandson to Rosalind, nephew to Scarlet and William, and great-nephew to Tuesday. A new chapter begins.
If you enjoyed The Day My Husband Left, you’ll love They Call Me the Cat Lady – a heart-warming tale of love, loss and second chances.
Get it here!
They Call Me the Cat Lady
You’ve seen me on the street. You’ve walked past my house, and pointed, and wondered. The cat lady. All on my own, with only my five cats to keep me company. Did no-one ever tell you that you can’t judge a book by its cover?
Everyone in town knows Nancy Jones. She loves her cats. She loves her tumbledown house by the sea. She loves her job in the local school where she tries to help the children who need help the most. Nancy tries hard not to think about her past loves and where those led her…
Nancy never shares her secrets – because some doors are better kept locked. But one day she accepts a cat-sitting request from a local woman, and at the woman’s house, Nancy sees a photograph, in a bright-red frame. A photograph that opens the door to her painful past…
Soon Nancy doesn’t know what frightens her the most: letting her story out, or letting the rest of the world in. It’s impossible to find companionship without the risk of losing it. But can Nancy take that risk again?
A heart-wrenching and heart-warming story of love lost and found, and of second chances, They Call Me the Cat Lady is perfect for fans of A Man Called Ove and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.
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Hear More from Amy
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Books by Amy Miller
The Day My Husband Left
They Call Me the Cat Lady
Wartime Bakery Series
Heartaches and Christmas Cakes
Wartime Brides and Wedding Cakes
Telegrams and Teacakes
As Amy Bratley
The Girls’ Guide to Homemaking
The Saturday Supper Club
The Antenatal Group
Available in Audio
They Call Me the Cat Lady (Available in the UK and US)
A Letter from Amy
Dear Reader,
I want to say a huge thank you for choosing to read The Day My Husband Left. If you did enjoy it and want to keep up to date with all my latest releases, just sign up at the following link. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.
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I am a firm believer in second chances. I think if we were all more understanding and honest with one another, people would suffer less. If there’s one thing I’d like this book to be about it’s the importance of giving people a second chance. Many families have secrets or issues they never speak of because it’s too painful, or they’re worried about what people will think – and adoption can in some circumstances be one of those difficult issues. Adoption is something that has historically affected close members of my own family, and its conversations around this subject that helped inspire this book. I hope to show that, even when things don’t turn out how you hoped, with understanding and patience, problems can be overcome. Also, I think when people suffer from serious illness such as heart disease, as Johnny does in the book, life is brought into sharp focus – the past, the present and the future. It’s at these times when people think ‘now or never’ and take brave steps they’ve perhaps previously avoided.
A note on upholstery: I am not an upholsterer and though I’ve spoken to experts in the field, I hope you can forgive any inaccuracies in terminology or practice! I chose to make Heidi an upholsterer because she gives pieces of furniture a second chance and doesn’t give up on them. This is her approach to William when she is reunited with him and vice versa – everyone deserves a second chance.
Finally, I’ve set the story in Southbourne-on-Sea, Bournemouth, which is close to where I live and where I, like Heidi, enjoy swimming in the sea to clear my head. Though various locations do exist, I’ve changed names and street names.
Amy Miller
Heartaches and Christmas Cakes
December, 1940: All that Audrey Barton wants is her family together for Christmas. But the war changes everything…
The Barton family bakery in Bournemouth has been at the heart of the town for generations: Audrey and Charlie Barton have never been rich, but their bread and cakes – and their love and advice – have enriched the lives of others in the town for many years.
When war breaks out, it doesn’t take long for trouble to arrive on the bakery doorstep. Audrey’s brother William has joined up to fight, and William’s fiancé Elsie fears she may lose him before their life together has even begun. Audrey’s stepsister Lily comes to stay, but Lily is clearly hiding a dark secret.
And a silent and strange little girl is evacuated to the town – will Audrey get to the heart of what is ailing her?
Audrey battles to keep hope and love alive in tumultuous times. But when disaster strikes at Christmas, will her efforts be in vain?
This is the first book in a heartwarming and romantic new saga series, perfect for fans of The Gingerbread Girl, Nadine Dorries and Ellie Dean.
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Wartime Brides and Wedding Cakes
January 1941: As Charlie Barton tiptoes silently out of the house one cold winter morning to go off and fight for his country, his wife Audrey is left to run the family bakery on her own.
Times are tougher than ever, but at the Barton Bakery in Bournemouth, Audrey is determined as always to serve the town with love, loaves and cakes, even as the town is reeling from the struggles of the Blitz.
Audrey’s brother William has returned from battle with serious wounds. His fiancé Elsie is waiting for wedding bells, but William is a changed man, and will her hopes be in vain?
Bakery helper Maggie has her heart set on dashing officer George. But will George still want to marry her when he discovers the truth about her family?
And Lily, Audrey’s stepsister, is struggling to raise her illegitimate baby and facing judgement from many in the town. The man who broke her heart returns with an offer, and Lily faces a hard decision about where her future lies.
When disaster strikes the bakery, Audrey fears that everything she has worked for may be ruined. With her shop threatened and her family in turmoil, can she fight to save everything she holds dear?
Wartime Brides and Wedding Cakes is a romantic and heart-warming tale of cakes and confetti, perfect for fans of Sheila Newberry, Nadine Dorries and Ellie Dean.
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Telegrams and Teacakes
Telegrams and Teacakes is a romantic wartime saga full of heartbreak and hope, perfect for fans of Diney Costeloe, Nadine Dorries and Sheila Newberry.
‘There was no denying it, being cheerful was a challenge. You just had to be grateful for small
mercies: a sunny day, a night without an air raid, an extra rasher of bacon from the butcher.’
England, 1942: 23-year-old Betty runs away from Bristol to make a new life for herself. Betrayed by her husband, Betty flees to the seaside town of Bournemouth, where she has fond memories of childhood holidays. There, she finds a small family bakery, in desperate need of a new shop girl…