by B. J Daniels
“What are you saying?”
“The agents are afraid he got wind of their investigation and is planning to skip the country.”
“He hasn’t already?” Hawk sounded surprised. “Drey hasn’t seen him since the wedding.”
Flint shook his head. “The FBI is convinced he’s in that house. They’re just waiting for him to show his face.”
“According to Drey, he’s in Mexico City.” Hawk took a few bites of his lunch. “Took off on their wedding night without Drey even realizing he’d left, according to my little sister. Drey’s a mess. When I saw her last night, she was kind of out of it. I’m even more worried about her.”
“What do you mean, out of it?” Flint asked, becoming more concerned. The chili warmed him to his toes. It was just what he needed, he thought, as he took a sip of his cola to cool off his mouth.
“I got the feeling that she was either drunk or had taken something. All I can tell you is that the woman I saw last night wasn’t the Drey I’ve known my whole life. To make matters worse, she’s alone in that house with Ethan’s younger brother, Jet.”
“Jet Baxter?”
“He’s under investigation, as well?”
“He works for Baxter Inc. The feds were surprised to hear that he’s in town.”
“So Lillie had told you.” Hawk let out a laugh as he broke a few tortilla chips into his bowl. “She is a worrywart, that one. But in this case, it appears there is reason for concern. I’m worried as hell about Drey. She literally has no idea what she’s gotten herself into. What are you going to do?”
“This is a federal case. If they decide to raid the house, I might be asked to help, but otherwise...”
“Raid the house? Drey is in that house with the brother. Maybe Ethan has fled to Mexico City. Drey needs to know what’s going on.”
“Are you sure she doesn’t already know?” He could see that Hawk hadn’t considered that. “Wouldn’t she know if he was hiding out in the house with her?”
“It’s a maze inside. I climbed the balconies to get to Drey last night, but I suspect there are other ways in—and out. I don’t think the architecture of that building was only about impressing. I think it was about smoke and mirrors. But if he was in there, why wasn’t he the one coming to her rescue?”
Flint sighed. “You had no business climbing balconies at that house. Not only is Drey married, the feds are looking into her, as well.”
“No, that’s crazy. She couldn’t know about this or she wouldn’t have married him.”
Flint raised a brow. “If Drey is involved—”
“She’s not.” He finished his chili and pushed his bowl away. “I have to warn her.”
“You’ll be putting yourself right in the middle of an FBI investigation. The only reason I told you is because you need to stay clear of all of this.”
“But what if Drey isn’t safe? I’ve got a bad feeling that she’s in trouble.”
Flint couldn’t help but take his brother’s concerns with a grain of salt. Hawk could swear that he no longer loved Drey, but it was clear that he hadn’t let go of the woman—at least emotionally.
“I’m afraid you’re the one who doesn’t know what he’s getting into,” the sheriff warned him. “If her husband isn’t in that house, then he is nearby and probably keeping an eye on his wife.”
His brother scoffed. “I’m betting he left Drey holding the bag. I’m more worried about the brother, Jet. I think something is wrong there.”
“Hawk, you can’t be involved in this for so many reasons.”
“I’m already involved. If the feds are watching the house, then they saw me scale the balconies up to her bedroom.” He grinned. “Let them think I’m making time with Drey while her husband is out of the picture. I don’t care. But I’m not hanging her out to dry like apparently Ethan Baxter has.”
Flint swore. Were there any men more stubborn than Cahill men? “You’re making a mistake.”
“It won’t be my first. I’m telling you, she isn’t safe there.”
“If she isn’t safe in that house with the feds watching, then I don’t know where she would be safe.”
“I have to get back to work. Thanks for lunch.”
Flint watched him go and swore. His brother thought Drey didn’t have a clue what she was getting involved in? Hawk was walking into more trouble than Flint feared even his brother could handle. If not from the feds, then from a jealous husband once Ethan Baxter returned. But he did wonder where the brother, Jet Baxter, fitted into the picture.
* * *
“YOUR SON IS ADORABLE,” Drey said as she admired the newest photos on Lillie’s phone. They’d both consumed iced tea and summer salads under one of the shaded umbrellas on the patio, while Drey avoided the real reason they were there. Lillie had been telling her about TC and how much she and her husband, Trask, were enjoying their baby.
But Lillie had also mentioned how nice it was to get to sneak away for a while without hauling a diaper bag and a baby everywhere. Drey knew that her friend was trying hard not to ask about Ethan and the marriage.
“There’s something I have to tell you,” Drey finally said.
Lillie let out a breath. “Finally. I knew it. You’ve made a mistake. But it’s not too late,” her friend said quickly as if she’d been anxiously awaiting Drey’s confession. “When you invited me to lunch, I knew this was what you wanted to talk about. You can have the marriage annulled and—”
“Lillie, that isn’t what I need to tell you. It’s about Hawk.”
Her friend looked worried. “What has my brother done now?”
“Last night, I realized why Hawk and I have had such a hard time moving on.”
“Because you love each other.”
Drey ignored that and continued, “One of the things holding Hawk and me back is this secret between us that we’ve kept all these years. Neither of us has ever told anyone.”
Her friend nodded, huge eyed. “I know something bad had to have happened and that it has to be big. Otherwise, the two of you would be together. You love each other. You belong together.”
She held up a hand to stop Lillie. “No one knows about this but Hawk and me. That’s why we can’t have this secret between us anymore.”
Her friend nodded. Drey could tell it was a battle for Lillie not to say a word as she impatiently waited.
“Remember that summer before I went back to college alone?”
Lillie nodded again. “The one when you and Hawk broke up.”
“All that summer, Hawk had been pushing me to get married. He thought we could go back to college together as a married couple. More than that, he kept talking about wanting us to start a family right away. I loved him more than life itself, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted to get my degree. I was young. I had a chance to study a semester abroad—”
“In Spain. I remember. You’d always wanted to see Spain. You went.”
“Yes, I went. But the reason Hawk and I broke up wasn’t because I went to Spain. Before I left, I realized I was pregnant.”
Lillie’s eyes widened.
“I was furious with Hawk. I thought he’d done it on purpose. You know I’ve never been able to take birth control pills without getting ill. Hawk was handling that part of things.”
“You can’t think he would do that, knowing how much you wanted to study abroad and how much you wanted to wait,” she protested.
“I did think it back then. He’d been so insistent and so upset with me for not wanting to settle down with him. He had it all planned, right down to where we would live and what we would do.”
“That’s Hawk,” Lillie said. “Or at least that was the old Hawk.” She sounded sad. “He changed after the two of you broke up. It was like he’d given up ever being happy or having the family he’d always wanted.” Her voice broke. �
�But I still can’t believe he’d do something like that.”
“He swore he didn’t, but I didn’t believe him,” Drey continued after taking a sip of her recently refilled iced tea. “I wasn’t ready for a baby, a marriage, especially to a man who I felt had tried to trick me...worse, trap me. Especially with life-changing, awful results.”
“But it wouldn’t have been that awful, would it have?” Lillie cried. “The two of you would have had a sweet baby to raise.”
She shook her head as she met her friend’s gaze. “For me, at that moment, it was awful. What I thought Hawk had done. Worse, how I felt not just about him. I felt trapped and angry. I wasn’t going to let him tie me down like that.”
Lillie shook her head. “You didn’t...”
“I didn’t. The woman I am now wouldn’t have even considered terminating the pregnancy. But I was young and angry. I made the appointment. Hawk found out. I never went through with it. A few weeks later, I lost the baby. There were...problems.”
“But if you hadn’t lost the baby?” her friend asked.
“I could never have terminated Hawk’s and my baby. I know that in my heart. But Hawk—” Her voice broke.
“He doesn’t believe you?” Lillie said, tears in her eyes.
“No, he knows I didn’t keep the appointment. But that I even thought about it... He’s never been able to forgive me.”
Lillie dabbed at her eyes with her napkin. “Why are you telling me this now?” she asked in a whisper.
“Because Hawk and I are still angry with each other after all these years. I realized that this secret isn’t letting either of us truly move on. I haven’t even told Ethan.”
Lillie let out a breath as she leaned back in her chair. “You’ve been carrying this around all these years. You and Hawk both.” She looked close to tears again.
Drey reached across the table to take her friend’s hand. “I didn’t want to burden anyone else with it, but I can’t carry it any longer. I’m married now to someone else. It might not be the kind of marriage I once dreamed of, but I’m going to make it work. I’m sorry I called you the other night crying. I had been drinking...” Was I drugged? “I wasn’t myself.”
Lillie squeezed her hand. “You know that I just want you to be happy. But can you be happy without Hawk?”
The question cut deep. “I’m going to try because Hawk and I...” She shrugged, feeling her eyes burn with tears. “Dessert! That’s what we need.” She picked up the dessert menu. “What do you say to hot fudge?”
After they’d finished lunch, Drey noticed that Hawk had left her a message. She ignored it, turned off her phone again and pulled out her credit card, only to have it declined.
Lillie insisted on paying, assuring her it was probably just a glitch with the credit card company.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HAWK CALLED DREY’S cell again but it went straight to voice mail. He hesitated, then left a message. “I need to tell you something.” He realized how his message sounded and added, “Please. It’s important.” It was the second message he’d left.
But an hour later, when she still hadn’t called him back, he tried his sister only to learn from her husband that she and Drey had gone to lunch.
“At the Stagecoach Saloon?” he asked as he headed for his pickup.
“I doubt it. Lillie says she feels like she should be working when she eats there,” Trask told him.
Hawk slipped behind the wheel of his pickup, considering where else the two might choose to eat and headed to downtown Gilt Edge. The small Western town had only a handful of places to eat lunch so he figured she wouldn’t be hard to find.
He spotted his sister’s SUV parked just down the street from the local bistro and drove around the block, looking for a place to park. He didn’t like the idea of interrupting their lunch, but he really didn’t feel this could wait. After parking, he walked back toward the café only to see his sister drive away. He spotted Drey about to climb into a nondescript white SUV and called to her.
She turned in surprise to see him and waited next to her vehicle as he approached. The sun was in her eyes. She shaded them with her hand, her expression somber. He realized what he had to tell her wasn’t going to come as good news. He thought about what his brother had said. He was the last person she wanted to hear this from. He let out a curse, telling himself that she couldn’t hate him any more than she already did.
“I don’t know if you got my message or not but—”
She cut him off. “I told Lillie.”
Hawk stopped inches from her and frowned. “Told Lillie what?”
She sighed and looked down at her boots for a moment. Somehow he’d expected her to dress differently now that she was married to Ethan Baxter. It was good to see her in jeans and a Western shirt. It was good to know that she hadn’t changed too much.
“Did you hear me?”
The edge to her voice brought him back. “I guess not.”
“I told her why we broke up.”
“You what?” He stared at her in disbelief. “After all these years, you just decided to tell Lillie.” He swore under his breath as he dragged off his Stetson to rake his hand through his hair. “Why would you do that?”
“I realized something after last night. There is still so much between us.” As if she had to tell him that. Didn’t she know that he felt it every time he was around her? It was one reason he tried like hell to avoid her. “We’re both still angry at each other,” she said.
“So what?” That was what she thought was between them? Anger was the reason they both couldn’t move on? He said as much.
“It bonds us but what really has us shackled together is the secret we’ve kept from everyone,” she said. “It isn’t even something you and I have acknowledged. Every time I’ve brought up the subject—”
“There was nothing to say,” Hawk snapped as he shoved his hat back on his head and looked down the street. He couldn’t believe they were having this discussion after all these years on the sidewalk in downtown Gilt Edge. “Why the hell would you take it upon yourself to—”
“It’s my secret, too. I didn’t want anyone to know that I had a weak moment when I was very young and very angry at you.”
“I told you I didn’t—”
“I know that now. But back then I wanted to blame you for putting me in such an untenable situation.”
He ground his teeth. “Marriage to me and my baby was an untenable situation?”
“Our baby. And yes, at that age it was. I was heading to Spain. I was continuing my education. I had things I needed to do before I had a child and settled down.”
He swore under his breath and looked away. They’d had this conversation too many times already. Why would she air their dirty laundry to his sister? The hot summer sun beat down on him. He felt a little sick to his stomach remembering the day he found out that she’d made the appointment to get rid of their baby. He didn’t want to talk about this any more now than he had all those years ago.
“Well, the problem took care of itself, I guess,” he said, looking down at his boots.
“I told you, I never went to that appointment. I miscarried, but what I didn’t tell you was when I did...” Her voice broke and she looked away for a moment. “I cried my heart out.”
At the sound of her pain, he looked up. The distress he saw in her beautiful face tore at his heart. He felt his throat tighten.
“I wanted your baby—just not then, Hawk. But when I miscarried...I couldn’t bear the thought that I might never have another of your children. I had lost so much. You and our baby. I will regret losing that baby until the day I die,” she said as tears began to course down her cheeks.
He reached out and wiped away one with his thumb. She caught his hand and held it against her cheek for a moment as she tried to stem the flow of tears. He
tried to swallow the lump in his throat as she pressed a kiss into the palm of his hand and let go.
“Me, too,” he said his voice rough with emotion. “I wanted that child, your child, our child so badly.” He looked away. “I had all these dreams for our son or daughter, for us. And when it was gone, and you were gone, too...” He looked away, fighting tears.
“I know.”
He pulled himself together and drew out his bandanna and handed it to her.
* * *
DREY TOOK THE BANDANNA, wiped her tears and blew her nose.
“You can keep that,” Hawk said when she looked around as if she didn’t know what to do with it. There was humor in his tone, something she hadn’t heard in his voice since before their breakup all those years ago.
“Thanks.” She stuffed the bandanna into the side of her shoulder bag and looked out at the mountains that rimmed the town. Hawk’s first love was this community, this state, this land. His only true love was her, though, he used to say. “I wish I could go back and change everything.”
He cleared his throat. “Me, too.”
She met his gaze. What she saw in his gray eyes...
“I’m sorry, Drey. So sorry.”
She nodded.
“But you’re wrong about one thing. Anger wasn’t the only thing between us.” He held her gaze. “We both still love each other.”
She wanted to argue but couldn’t. “I should go.”
“There’s something I need to tell you.” He looked so serious that she felt her heart drop.
“If it’s about last night...”
“I’d just as soon forget about last night,” he drawled. “Unless that is something else you feel the need everyone should know about.”
She shook her head, seeing that he was trying to lighten the mood. “My window’s fixed. All’s forgiven. Thank you for rescuing me.”
“I wish that’s what I’d done,” he said. “A long time ago.”
She saw the change in him. He seemed to brace himself as if about to give her bad news. She felt the blow even before he said the words. “There’s something I need to tell you about your husband. Drey, he’s being investigated by the FBI.” He looked as if he hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that.