by Maya Banks
Caelen battled the smile that threatened. He bit at his bottom lip and valiantly tried to keep his amusement at bay, for if he laughed now, she might well spit him on her dagger.
’Twas the truth he should be angry at her blatant show of disrespect. He should even now be reprimanding her. But ’twas the first sign of life he’d seen in the week since her attack, and God’s truth, she was glorious in her rage.
“Think you this is funny?” she demanded.
She shoved at him with all her might, surprising him with her sudden move. He went down in the snow, landing with a thud. He glared up at her as he dusted the snow from the tops of his legs.
She stood over him now, holding him captive with her fiery gaze. Then her expression became pained, and the shadows returned to her eyes.
“Let me be who I am, Caelen. I would not ask you to change who you are. I can help you if you’d let me. Don’t relegate me to the shadows, pulling me out only when ’tis convenient for you. Maybe ’tis the way of things in the world, but it doesn’t have to be that way for us.”
Caelen sighed as her impassioned plea made a direct hit to a region of his heart he’d long thought dead. “ ’Tis so important to you to dress as a man and wield a sword?”
She frowned and shook her head. “ ’Tis not the manner of dress that ’tis important. If you can show me how to successfully wield a sword in a woman’s gown, I’ll not gainsay you if you tell me not to wear this manner of dress again.”
“You can’t go about swinging a sword in a gown,” Caelen muttered. “You’d trip over the hem.”
For the first time she smiled, her eyes lighting up with more life than he’d seen in quite some time. “Then I have your permission to wear these garments?”
He sighed in disgust. “When have you ever sought my permission for anything, lass?”
“I can be accommodating,” she defended.
He rolled his eyes. “When it suits your purposes, aye.” Then he narrowed his gaze to stare intently at her. “There are conditions, Rionna. Henceforth, my commander will accompany you everywhere. And I mean everywhere. You’ll go nowhere unescorted. I’ll not have happen again what happened in my absence. If I have need of Gannon to accompany me, then Hugh will take over as your escort.”
She nodded her acceptance.
“Second, you’ll train with me and only with me. You are to spar with no other man. If you want to learn, you’ll be trained by the best, and I won’t be easy on you because you’re my wife.”
She grinned cheekily. “I would expect no less, husband.”
“You’ll not take to binding your breasts.”
At that she raised an eyebrow and looked suspiciously at him.
He grinned lazily up at her. “ ’Tis not just for my pleasure. ’Tis nonsense. I may let you dress as a man, but you’ll not try to look like one.”
“Anything else, husband?” she asked as she tapped her foot in the snow.
“Aye, help me up.”
With a roll of her eyes, she reached down to give him her hand. The lass would never learn. He grasped her wrist and with a quick yank, tossed her into the snow beside him.
She rose up, snow covering her face, blinking at him as if she had no idea why he’d done such. He merely smiled back. “Revenge, lass. Revenge.”
With a disgusted look she launched herself at him, rolling them both into the snow. He gave a laugh and then came astride her. With a free hand, he balled some of the snow and held it menacingly over his shoulder.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she said.
He let fly and laughed again as she blinked away the snow from her face. It slid over her cheeks, revealing her look of shock. Then her eyes flashed with the light of battle.
Worried that her mistress and the laird had been out in the cold for so long, Sarah hurried to the doorway. When she opened the door, she was shocked to see the laird atop Rionna in the snow.
How could he have so little care when she was so fragile from her attack? The man had gone mad. It was on the tip of her tongue to issue a sharp reprimand to her laird when she heard Rionna’s laughter ring out through the cold air.
Rionna rolled atop the laird and began stuffing snow in his face. The laird fought back and snow flew fast and furious.
A wide smile formed on Sarah’s face and she quietly retreated back indoors, closing the door behind her to give them privacy.
CHAPTER 18
For the first time since the attack, Rionna came down to the hall for the evening meal. She could feel the stares of the men and women alike and it was all she could do not to cover the bruises and hie herself back up to her chamber.
But she’d spent enough time hiding. She wouldn’t do so any longer.
Caelen looked up in surprise and then stood as she neared the table. The other warriors did the same and then Caelen motioned for Simon to vacate the seat so that Rionna could sit next to Caelen.
“I would have made sure you had your meal in our chamber,” Caelen said in a low voice when he retook his seat.
She smiled. “ ’Tis sweet of you to attend me so, but ’tis time I came out of hiding. The bruises make me look hideous, but ’tis nothing wrong with the rest of me.”
He tipped her chin upward and turned her face this way and that in the light, a pensive expression on his face. He didn’t offer false compliments or tell her she really didn’t look hideous. Strangely she found that comforting.
“The bruising is fading. In a few days’ time, ’twill be completely gone.”
His fingers rubbed over the faint fingerprints at her neck, and his nostrils flared before he pulled his hand away and resumed eating his meal.
At the meal’s end, Rionna stood to excuse herself. The meal had been quiet, as if the men feared upsetting her in some way. It would take time to convince them she wasn’t going to fall apart at the least provocation. ’Twas her fault they’d gained that impression with the way she’d acted, but how could she explain in words how helpless and angry she’d felt at the hands of her attackers?
’Twas not something the men would understand. She much preferred to move ahead and not dwell on past events. In time they’d forget as well.
Caelen stayed her with his hand and then nodded toward Gannon. “I’ll go up with you,” he said to Rionna, surprising her.
Caelen made a point of relaxing with the men after the evening meal. ’Twas his way of building camaraderie after a long day’s training. He listened to their ideas, indulged in ribald jests, most of which made Rionna’s eyes roll, and talked about the day’s events. He and Gannon both made attempts to reach out to the McDonald warriors, a fact Rionna appreciated even if the men still hadn’t fully accepted or embraced Caelen as laird.
But tonight he excused himself, his fingers still wrapped gently around Rionna’s wrist. Then he guided her toward the stairs and they went up to their chamber.
“ ’Twasn’t necessary for you to come up with me,” Rionna said when he shut the door behind him.
“Aye, I know it. ’Twas my choice. Perhaps I preferred to converse with my wife instead of the men tonight.”
She turned and rested her gaze on his face, searching his eyes for some sign of his intent. “Have you something specific in mind?”
“Perhaps. Make ready for bed, wife. You look tired. I’ll add more wood to the fire, and we’ll retire early this night.”
Puzzled by his odd mood, she did as he bade and began to undress. She reached for her nightdress when he made a sound of disapproval. She looked up to see him bending over the hearth, wood in hand and shaking his head at her.
“Nay?”
“I would feel your skin next to mine.”
’Twas not an unreasonable request, but tonight it made her feel shy and a little uncertain, and it angered her that she would feel this way.
As if sensing her uncertainty, Caelen rose from the hearth and crossed the room. Gently he took the nightdress from her grasp and laid it over the chair by the fire.
She put her hand on his chest and stared up at him, her heart going soft at the tenderness in his voice. “You do not frighten me, Caelen. ’Tis the truth I feel safest when I’m near to you.”
He laid his hand over hers and then pulled it to his mouth. He kissed the inside of her palm and left it against his lips for a moment before lowering it once more.
“Come to bed. ’Tis cold tonight and the wind howls through the furs at the window.”
Rionna climbed underneath the furs and watched as Caelen disrobed in the glow of the fire. When he turned to the bed, she pulled back the furs, an invitation.
As soon as he got into bed, she snuggled close, sighing as his warmth enveloped her.
Caelen chuckled against her hair. “You sound near to purring, wife.”
“Mmm. You feel good, husband.”
He laid the flat of his palm over her back and stroked up and down, his even breathing sounding close to her ear.
“I’ve been thinking on things,” he said.
She frowned against his neck. A conversation never ended well that started with such words. She pulled away and his hand stilled on the small of her back.
“What matters have you been thinking on?”
“Tell me why you dress as you do and why you’ve put so much practice in with a sword.”
Her eyes widened. Of all the subjects she thought he might broach, this wasn’t one of them.
“ ’Tis plain to see you’ve devoted a lot of time to the practice of warfare. You have to admit ’tis an odd undertaking for a lass. Your father wasn’t approving. I saw his reaction when you bested the McCabe warrior when you were visiting McCabe keep.”
When she remained quiet, he stroked over her back again, his touch light and soothing.
“And now, when you were attacked and sorely beaten, a traumatic event for anyone, much less a lass as slight as you are, I thought it had made you afraid, but you were angry because you’d been stripped of the ability to defend yourself.”
“Aye,” she whispered. “It made me feel helpless. I hated it.”
“What has made you so fierce in your determination to protect yourself, Rionna? ’Tis not something a lass usually thinks upon. ’Tis up to her kin, her father, brother, or husband to watch over her and protect her from harm, and yet you ask no one to do these things for you.”
She closed her eyes as shame crowded in. Caelen knew of her father’s disgraceful actions, but saying her fears aloud only made it worse.
“Rionna?”
He pulled away and tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. The candles he’d left burning provided just enough light that she could see his grim expression and the determination in his eyes to uncover her secrets.
She sighed and looked away. “You know what kind of man my father was. And that when my father tried to force himself on Keeley, my mother made her an outcast. She was my cousin. And Keeley wasn’t the only young lass my father targeted. I knew of his evil from a very young age and I always feared …”
She sucked in a deep breath and looked back at Caelen. “All I could think was what if he turned his attention to me? If he could do such a thing to his niece, what would it matter if I was his daughter?
“I grew breasts at a young age. I had a pleasing shape that I knew men liked to look at. So I began to hide my attributes and make myself look more like a lad than a woman. And I learned to wield a sword because I swore if my father ever tried to force himself on me, I would be able to protect myself.”
Anger and disgust simmered in Caelen’s eyes. He touched her cheek, stroking his finger from her jawline to her temple and back down again.
“You were right to do so,” he admitted. “His obsession with Keeley never ended. Even years later. He would have raped her just weeks past if I hadn’t intervened when he dragged her into a chamber at McCabe keep.”
“His desires are unnatural, and he cares not who he hurts. He thinks only of himself and his pleasure. I would kill him for what he did to Keeley alone.”
“If he ever touches you again, whether in anger or with lust, I’ll feed his carcass to the vultures.”
“ ’Tis when you’re not near that I worry,” she said quietly.
“Aye, I know it, lass, and as much as it pains me to admit, you have a solid argument for why I should allow you to continue with your training. ’Tis the truth I gifted Mairin with a dagger so she would have means to protect herself. It only stands to reason I’d afford my wife the same opportunity and the skills to do so.”
“Thank you,” she said softly. “It means much that you support me in this.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” he warned. “I’ll not be easy on you just because you’re a lass. If you are to protect yourself, then you’ll have to learn to best a man twice your size and with twice your strength.”
She nodded but he continued on.
“I’m a brutal taskmaster and I’ll work you long and hard until you’re ready to cry mercy. I’ll expect the same from you that I expect from my men.”
“Aye, I understand,” she said. “Now hush and let me thank you properly, husband.”
His eyebrow went up. “Define properly.”
She smiled and wrapped her arms around his strong body. “I don’t think you’ll issue any complaints.”
CHAPTER 19
“Get up and try it again, Rionna.”
Rionna staggered to her feet and rubbed her poor abused bottom. Her arm felt near to falling off. She’d long since lost feeling in her hand. She was so weary that her eyes crossed, and still, her husband pressed on.
There was no impatience in his command. He had to be the most patient man she’d ever come across. Even Hugh, when he’d instructed her, had often thrown up his hands and stomped away, grumbling about the impossibility of teaching a lass to fight.
But she’d shown him. Just like she’d shown all her father’s men who’d mocked her early efforts. And she’d show her husband, who seemed determined to see how many times he could knock her on her butt.
The tip of her sword nearly dragged on the ground as she stepped forward to face Caelen again. But she was careful to prevent the blade from doing so. Caelen had already taught her a lesson about abusing her weapon.
“God’s teeth, lass, you’re making me daft,” Gannon grumbled. “Pivot this time. You weigh naught. Should be easy for a lass your size to be quicker than a man of the laird’s size. Use that quickness to your advantage.”
Sucking in painful breaths, Rionna circled warily around her husband, looking for any movement.
“Stop. Just stop a moment, Caelen.”
Caelen sighed and lowered his sword as Gannon strode forward.
“A word, my lady?”
Not trusting that this wasn’t a trick devised by Caelen to distract her, she backed slowly away, holding her sword toward Caelen the whole time. Her husband grinned.
“She’s learning, Gannon. Don’t be overharsh.”
“I just want this done with so we can go eat,” Gannon muttered.
He drew Rionna to the side. “You’re acting as though this is an exercise with set rules and parameters. Battle is anything but, lass. You circle Caelen waiting for him to make the first move and then you react. As a result you’re always on the defensive and he always has the advantage. This time, you initiate the action. Go after him and use your quickness. You’ve not his strength. ’Tis foolhardy to try and stand your ground against a man who is three times your size. Think of other ways to compensate and be quick about it. I’m starving.”
Rionna grinned. “I’ll try my best not to further inconvenience you, Gannon.”
“He’ll stay here all night. Don’t think he won’t, lass. He’ll either get the result he wants or he’ll completely wear yo
u down. Whichever comes first. My suggestion is to give him the result he wants so we can all go indoors where it’s warmer.”
“You’re turning into an old woman.”
“You best hope he never allows me to spar with you. I’ll show you old woman. And I won’t be as merciful as he’s being.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Who says he’s being merciful? My arse would disagree that he’s shown any mercy.”
“You’re not bleeding. That’s merciful.”
Rionna shrugged and turned back to face Caelen who stood waiting, no sign of fatigue or annoyance in his eyes. He looked as though he were on a casual outing. Nothing ruffled him. She wondered if he’d ever been caught off guard in his life.
Remembering Gannon’s advice, she began to circle, just as she’d done every time before. There was truth in Gannon’s words. She was predictable by the sheer fact that she performed the same ritual every time and waited for Caelen to strike.
Digging deep to find the last of her flagging strength, she raised her sword, let out a yell to rival any warrior, and charged.
Caelen grinned then let out a whoop of his own as their swords met. The clash could be heard all over the courtyard. Invigorated, Rionna thrust, parried, and kept driving him back, using her quickness and the fact that she swung a much lighter sword keep him from launching a counterattack.
Aye, he was on the defensive now. Just where she wanted him until he provided an opening.
Despite the frigid air, sweat poured from her brow. Her jaw ached from her clenched teeth and her eyes were narrowed in intense concentration.
Caelen swung his sword but she turned and thrust out her blade to block. The force drove her to one knee and before she could recover, with a flick of his wrist, he knocked the sword from her hand.