by Jenny Hale
“I woke him up pacing around,” her mother said.
Noelle nodded supportively. “Did you have fun last night?” she asked Lucas. Now that they were living in the area again, her mom had made it a plan to have movie night once a week with Lucas. Since he was staying over, last night had been movie night. When Noelle had called to check on him, her mother had told her they’d popped popcorn, eaten Christmas cookies, and drunk hot chocolate until their bellies hurt.
“Yeah. We watched Toy Story and it was lots of fun.” He got up and took his cereal bowl to the sink.
“Lucas, if you’re done with breakfast, and you aren’t sleepy, your grandpa’s got the model trains set up in the spare room upstairs if you’d like to go take a look?” her mother said. “We never got to them last night with the movie and everything.”
He immediately ran out of the room, Muffy barking behind him. Noelle sat down beside her mom, Heidi on the other side.
“What’s happened?” she asked, as she shrugged off her coat and hung it on her chair.
“He just blew up over nothing this morning, when we both woke up because it was so cold. It was the upstairs heating unit, but you’d think it was the end of the world,” her mother sniffled, tears brimming in her eyes. “Luckily Lucas didn’t hear. Gus has been on edge so much lately that I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him, trying not to upset him. I’m so anxious because of it that I snapped and told him I couldn’t do it anymore. He has to figure out how to handle all this.”
Noelle shot a look over at Heidi, but she knew what her mother had meant by all this. Their father was having difficulty accepting the closure of the bakery—he didn’t like to see his mother’s hard work disappear any more than Noelle did and she was certain he worried about Pop-pop. Suddenly, the finality of the situation came crashing down. Noelle trusted her father, and she knew his instincts. Normally calm and collected in times of stress, if he was losing it, that meant that he thought there was no other way.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” she said. “We’ll figure it out.” Noelle put her arms around her mother and gave her a squeeze.
“Losing the bakery is tearing us apart,” her mother said, her voice breaking. “I just wish your father could be stronger, but he’s too emotionally connected. I think the guilt of losing it is too much for him. If only he could see that it isn’t his fault. We’re all in this together.”
“We’ll get through it,” Noelle said, but she wondered how. The reality of it all made her feel like she was drowning suddenly, like she’d been terrible for enjoying herself with Alex when, because of him, she was losing the most important thing her gram had ever built.
Noelle drove back to the mansion in complete silence. Lucas had fallen asleep on the backseat and she was glad for that. Her thoughts swung around in her head, making her stomach hurt. She didn’t want to have to face Alex when she returned because she couldn’t make small talk after seeing her mother like that, but she was too tired to jump into a long discussion. Her own tears welled up as she ached for Gram and the life they’d had before all this mess. Her fears over the bakery, her feelings for Alex, and her future were definitely getting the better of her.
Choking back her emotion, she parked the car and got out, helping Lucas across the icy driveway. She tipped her head back to see a hazy mist still dancing across the gray sky—and then a tiny break in the clouds. With a deep sigh, she went inside the Harrington mansion, Lucas running ahead as she hung back. She stood in that enormous expanse of an entryway and caught her breath. Then, with resolve, she stood up straight and headed out to find Alex. She’d decided. She’d just go into his office, let him know she had returned and was available for William, thank him for giving her time to see her mother, and quietly leave him alone. Then she’d deal with the conversation she’d been avoiding when she had a clear head. She was too emotional to say anything now. She needed to get her plan of how to save the bakery in order first.
Pulling her from her thoughts, she heard quiet talking in Alex’s office and recognized Lucas’s voice. She peered in. Alex was smiling, pointing out of that huge back window, and explaining about constellations and moon craters while Lucas was standing on a stack of books and looking through the large telescope.
Noelle hung back to watch them. There was a gentle, easy quality about the way the two of them were together. It was as if they just got each other.
“The moon is out this morning,” Alex said quietly to Lucas. “So we might be able to see the craters on it.” He caught sight of Noelle out of the corner of his eye and turned to face her across the great room. “Hi there,” he said, as if looking at the moon with a six-year-old was a normal occurrence for him.
She walked across the room to meet them.
“Lucas came in just as I’d finished what I was doing, so I told him that maybe we could try out the telescope. We might catch a clearing in the cloud cover.”
“That’s thoughtful of you,” she said, her head starting to throb.
“It’s no problem,” he said. “How about I walk you to your suite?”
“Yes, kiddo,” she said with a grin. “We need to let Alex get some work done. Or at the very least let him get some breakfast.”
Lucas walked over to her and she put her arm around him.
Her mind was racing as they walked down to the suite. Lucas was uncharacteristically chatty, asking Alex questions about the constellations. Alex had all the answers for him too, answers that Noelle couldn’t provide because she’d never had an interest in a topic like that before. She had the urge to start studying just so she could talk to Lucas about it.
She’d always imagined her son sitting at the counter of the bakery while she gave him cookies and milk and helped him with homework. But now she wondered if her dreams didn’t coincide with his destiny. Lucas would be better off somewhere that could challenge him, and she didn’t know how to do that. All her plans were unraveling right in front of her, unnerving her. The throbbing in her head that had started at her parents’ had exploded into a full-blown headache, stretching across her eyes and into her temples.
When they got to their suite, Noelle walked Lucas to his room and asked if he’d work on his puzzle for a little bit while she had a quick talk with Alex. He agreed, and as she was leaving, he said, “I have fun with Alex.”
She nodded, taking in the sight of his sleepy eyes and rosy cheeks. “I love you,” she said.
Then, with a deep breath, she went out to talk to Alex. She couldn’t wait until she had a plan. This needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later or she might explode.
Alex’s back was to her. He was sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed and his arm stretched out along the back, and that relaxed manner made her wonder if she could change his mind about Hope and Sugar Bakery. It was time she took action. She couldn’t just sit around anymore. They needed to face this, and she had to know once and for all if she had a chance to get her bakery back. She rounded the side of the sofa and sat down next to him.
“Are you all right?” he asked, noticing her change in demeanor immediately. “You look like something’s bothering you.”
Deep breath.
She didn’t want to do this now, with her head pounding like it was, but she didn’t know any better time to do it. “Something is wrong.”
He turned his head just slightly, and he looked so adorable that she almost couldn’t do it. But then she thought about Gram and how much work she’d put into the bakery and how Noelle’s own life would have a gaping emptiness without it.
“You’re closing my bakery.”
“Your bakery?” Just like the first time she’d met him, the question came out like a statement.
“It’s my family’s—Hope and Sugar Bakery. My grandfather owns it and my dad runs it. He told me you’ve hiked the rent up and he can’t compete with the new businesses in the area.”
A spark of hope flickered in her chest as she watched him listen to her. His face was kind,
understanding, and it was as though he was giving it a lot of thought. He pursed his lips and looked down at his hands as if deliberating about something. Maybe his affection toward her meant more to him than she thought it might, and he’d help. Certainly after the fun they’d had together, he’d at least entertain her ideas.
He looked into her eyes as if still deciding something and she could hardly keep her optimism from overtaking her. “It’s a good business move to close it,” he said instead, and Noelle’s heart fell to the floor. “The property could do with an update, and a new tenant would breathe life into that street again.”
Her chest felt like a cinderblock had been set on top of it. “It has life,” she said defensively. “My grandfather promised my gram that he’d look after the bakery, and he never breaks a promise. He’s doing the very best he can…”
“I don’t doubt that, but sometimes things have to move forward even when we think it isn’t the best move.”
“Think?” she said, feeling the tears surfacing. “Even if we think it isn’t the best move? I know it isn’t the best move. It’s the worst move. It’s so bad that it’s ruining our Christmas, but more than that, it’s tearing my family apart and it will ruin my life.” A tear escaped and she turned away from him. Everything came down to this for her. None of it mattered if he didn’t support her in this because the bakery was who she was and without it, she was lost. She turned back around and stared at him, waiting for him to save the moment with something great, but he was silent.
She felt his hand on her shoulder and jerked away, standing up and going into the bathroom to get a tissue, more tears rising up. She was disappointed that he wouldn’t at least try to help her figure something out. She realized then that she’d subconsciously avoided this very discussion because if he let her down, she couldn’t continue feeling for him the way that she had.
Lucas’s door was shut—he was probably reading, and she was glad for that because by the time she got there, she was crying. Alex could put on that Mr. Nice Guy act, but the truth of the matter was that he didn’t care enough, because if he really cared for her, he’d want this for her as much as she did, and he’d said nothing. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, tossing it into the bin. Then she grabbed two more and headed back out.
“I think you should go,” she said weakly.
“I’m sorry you’re upset.” He took a step toward her, but she backed away.
She swallowed, the lump in her throat aching. “I’d really appreciate it if we could keep our distance and remain professional from now on.”
“If that’s what you want.” He looked hurt, but she wouldn’t believe it. Why should he look upset? Perhaps he wasn’t used to being told no.
“Yes. It’s what I want.”
Chapter Seventeen
Noelle was so thankful for her family. In the end, that was what mattered the most. Lucas was growing up feeling that his grandparents’ home was as comfortable and familiar as his own, and he enjoyed spending time there. That was the kind of atmosphere she wanted for her son, and maybe they wouldn’t have a big family, maybe this was it for her—just the two of them—but it was good. As she’d tended to William today, her mind had wandered to the rift between him and Alex, and she was so grateful that she had her family to count on.
She was the first to arrive at the restaurant after work. With Lucas choosing to make a gingerbread house at her parents’ instead of coming with her, she sat alone, her knee bouncing under the table; she was full of nervous energy, despite the ridiculously early start at her parents’ this morning. She’d left Alex with a sinking feeling and she couldn’t bear all this alone—it had ramped her up all day. She needed to tell someone what had been going on—all of it. She’d spent the rest of the day thinking about Alex, how he made her feel, and how the universe seemed to be against their relationship.
She needed her support group. They’d been wonderful, coming out for her so much in the past few days, and she couldn’t have gone through this without them. Hopefully, they’d have some words of wisdom tonight. Heidi would have the family interest in mind, keeping her level-headed; Jo would be practical and tell her exactly what she thought; and Phoebe would speak from her heart, hopefully assuring her it would all be okay.
She’d arrived early, and she knew exactly what drinks to order her two best friends and her sister. Jo liked a glass of white, house wine acceptable; Phoebe was always a dry martini; and Heidi liked a white Russian when she was out on the town. Noelle, feeling low despite the evening out, tried to lighten her mood with a cranberry Christmas cocktail. The waitress set the drinks down and lit the candle in the center of the table.
The restaurant’s main lights were dimmed for the dinner hour, little lamps on the wall illuminating every table. The doorways and windows were dripping with fresh Christmas garlands and candles in glass jars flickered on the windowsills. Groups of people gathered at tables in their Christmas dresses and festivities, laughter and the buzz of conversation filling the air.
How had December turned out this way? Noelle didn’t want to feel sorry for herself, but she couldn’t believe that she was in this position. She had no idea what to do next.
Phoebe entered the dining room, waving madly, a big smile on her face and a brightly wrapped package under her arm. She plopped it on the table next to her martini. “Oh!” she said, lifting it to her lips before she’d even finished taking her coat off. “You are fabulous.” She sat down and wriggled into a comfortable position, scooting her chair under the table. Then, she slid the package toward Noelle. “You sounded really upset on the phone, so I brought you something. I was going to wait until closer to Christmas, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?”
With a grin, Noelle let the atmosphere and the good company soak into her bones. If she had to be going through something like this, at least she had her friends and family close by.
Jo and Heidi came in together and sat down. Jo dumped a handful of mints on the table. They were the little chocolate mints that could only be found in the shop next to Jo’s apartment—Noelle’s favorite.
“I thought you could use something sweet,” she said, sitting down. Noelle had told them she’d talked to Alex about the bakery, and all three of them could guess that something had gone wrong, but she needed to tell them in person.
“What did Alex say about the bakery?”
Where should she begin? “It isn’t just the bakery. It’s a whole lot of things.” Noelle started with Lucas. That was where her world began so she might as well open with that. She told them about the bond that Lucas had developed with Alex, the way they were together, that Lucas asked about Alex when he wasn’t there. Then as they ordered, had a few more drinks, and eventually dinner, she told them everything. She told them about William, about Elizabeth and his mystery lady, and about how the family only allowed a certain type of person to date a Harrington; how she felt about Alex, the way he’d been so wonderful to her, and then what he’d said about the bakery.
“What a disaster,” Phoebe said.
“You’re supposed to be making me feel better.”
“If you want to look on the bright side, you have experienced what most women only dream of—you’ve actually kissed Alexander Harrington,” she returned, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll bet it was a million-dollar kiss like everything else he has.”
“Yes,” Jo said. “Dish. How was the kissing?”
Noelle smiled at her friend. She knew they didn’t have answers for her, so the least they could do was make her laugh. “Pretty amazing.” Noelle sucked down the rest of her drink, trying to drown the multitude of feelings she was having, but it wasn’t helping. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Beg him to reconsider. He’s gorgeous and he likes you! That’s pretty amazing,” Phoebe said, her eyes like stars with the excitement of it all.
“I don’t know, Pheebs,” Jo said, shaking her head, concern on her face. “She can’t let him believe he can do what he wa
nts. He needs to think about someone other than himself.”
The table hummed with indecisive chatter before Heidi said, “Don’t try to develop a plan or anything right now. Just get through tomorrow and then the next day. We’ll help you as you go. We’ll think of something.”
Phoebe drank the last of her martini. “Right, now, open your gift! It’ll make you feel better.”
Not any closer to a resolution, Noelle decided Phoebe was right. She should just enjoy the night out with people who loved her, people who were like her, people who had her back no matter what. She took the gift off the table and unwrapped the end, pulling the tape free.
“You’re so slow!” Phoebe teased. “Just rip it open.”
Noelle laughed and tore the paper. With a nostalgic smile, tears welling up, she held it out so the others could view it. “It’s a tiny jukebox radio,” she said.
“It’s like the big one your gram always played at the bakery. This one plays Christmas music.”
She adored Gram’s old jukebox, and she’d been devastated thinking her father might sell it once the bakery closed. “I love it.” She kissed Phoebe on the cheek. “Thank you all for coming and being supportive. I know I’ve been pulling you away from your family time. Please thank them for me.”
“We’re always here,” her sister said. “And these are all just blips, remember? Just stops on the way to your destiny. That’s what you always say.”
“I’m not sure I believe that anymore. But I’ll take your word for it.”
“Can I say something?” Phoebe interrupted. “I don’t know if the others will agree with me, but I’m just going to say it. I think you should give Alex a chance.”
There was a collective gasp at the table and Jo caught the eye of the waitress, gesturing for another round.
“How can you tell her that, Phoebe?” Heidi said. “He has no regard for her wishes at all. What kind of guy is that? She doesn’t want to be with someone who’s only interested in his own gain.”