Four Seconds to Lose ttb-3

by K. A. Tucker

  It looked an awful lot like the same car I climbed into earlier tonight. Seven minutes and three turns later, I can’t deny that it is the same car.

  I pass by the entrance to my apartment building—quivering at how easily I could have brought Jimmy there, handing him yet another bit of information that could lead him to Cain—and I continue all the way to a twenty-four-hour diner on the other side of Miami.

  Far away from everyone I’ve come to love.

  chapter thirty-nine

  * * *

  CAIN

  “Cain?”

  The minimal hair that Tanner has left is standing on end as he answers his door, half asleep, the day’s sports highlights blaring through his apartment in the background.

  “I need a key to Charlie’s apartment.”

  He frowns. “Well . . . er . . . the laws say—”

  “Fuck the law, Tanner,” I snap. “Either give me the key or I’ll bust down the door, and then you’ll be dealing with contractors to fix it.”

  Grumbling something unintelligible, Tanner reaches up and grabs the giant ring of keys that hangs on the wall beside the door. He reminds me of a jailer in that regard, but I don’t say anything. Thrusting it forward with a scowl, I feel his eyes on my back as I march toward 1-D. Tanner’s a fantastic superintendent.

  “Charlie?” I call out as I step into the dark apartment. I’m almost positive she’s not here because her car’s not out front. Still, I know she has a gun and I’d rather not get shot tonight.

  Silence responds.

  She could be back any minute, so I don’t waste time, heading straight for her bedroom. I don’t expect to find much, seeing as my closet and dresser are overflowing with her clothes and her feminine stuff has invaded my bathroom cabinet. In fact, based on my cursory inspection of her bedroom, the room is empty, except for the sheets on her bed.

  And the bottom dresser drawer.

  I start rifling through the assortment of workout clothes packed within—shorts, T-shirts, yoga pants—until I come to one . . . two . . . three . . . I pull out five wigs buried beneath. Blond, brunette, short-haired, long-haired. The strands are silky between my fingertips. I’m pretty sure it’s real hair, and if it’s real, that means these wigs are expensive.

  Suitable for high-end disguises.

  And high-end crimes.

  The curly brown one makes a thumping sound as I whip it at the wall in anger. How did I not have a clue? I’ve been sleeping with, working with, falling for this woman!

  It has to be drugs. No wonder she’s been so secretive. Fuck! Given who Dan is, my past . . . it’s all adding up. I remember how she froze when she realized I had spoken to this Sam guy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that whoever he is, he’s controlling her—and she’s terrified of him. Maybe he is her real father. That would mean she has assumed someone else’s identity, because the one she gave me is real.

  Someone went to a lot of trouble to hide who she really is.

  Quickly searching the rest of the place, I find nothing of interest. And no gun. She must have it on her.

  There’s really not much left to do except sit on her couch—inhaling the faint scent of her floral perfume that it still holds. I slide my phone out of my pocket and dial her number. And wait. But . . . what the fuck am I going to say? Accuse her of dealing drugs over the phone? Shit. I should have given this some more thought.

  With a heavy sigh, my thumb shifts to the “end” button when Charlie’s sweet voice comes on to ask me to leave a message. But I find I can’t hit it. I can’t break this connection to her. What if it’s the only one I have left? What if this is my only chance to get everything off my chest?

  “Hi, Charlie.” My voice cracks with her name. It might not be her real name, but it’s the only one I know. To me, she’s Charlie. She’s the woman who stole my heart right out from me before I even realized she had her hands on it. I chuckle into the phone, the irony not lost to me. I did hire a thief, after all.

  Like a floodgate, the words begin pouring out freely and quickly as I try to beat the time limit on the messaging system. I explain what happened with China and how I’m firing her. I explain how I just rifled through her things and I know what she’s into—or suspect what she’s into—and how I don’t care, as long as she’ll let me help her get away from it. I’ll do anything to help her get out of it.

  I explain how I wish I had never said those words to her tonight, how I could never just let her go. How we can figure this out.

  How I’ve fallen for her.

  It isn’t until the answering service cuts me off that I realize my entire body is shaking.

  I lean back. I take a deep, calming breath.

  And I wait for her to come home.

  She’s not leaving my sight again until she trusts me completely. Until I drag every last confession out of her beautiful mouth.

  Until I get her out of this fucking mess.

  chapter forty

  * * *

  CHARLIE

  I won the showdown.

  Four cups of coffee and two pieces of apple pie later, I watched the black sedan pull out of the parking lot and head left. He likely figured out that I was on to him. There’s a good chance he’s waiting in a nearby parking lot for my truck to pull out, so I watch the window for another two hours, until my eyes are heavy and I’m seriously debating curling up on the bench.

  But I can’t, because I still have too much to do, including the first unselfish thing I’ve done since the day I walked into Penny’s. As soon as the plump middle-aged waitress comes back from her smoke break, I politely ask her for a pen and some paper.

  * * *

  I hug my knapsack to my body. There’s fifty thousand dollars packed into it, so, naturally, I feel like a sitting duck with a sign over my head that reads “rob me of all that I have.” It is all that I have, along with some basic supplies and a few articles of clothing that I picked up at the twenty-four-hour Wal-Mart while waiting for the bank to open.

  It took ten minutes to clear out my safety deposit box and my bank account. When I went to sell my car to the dealership, they told me it would take a few days to cut me a check. I flirted, I yelled, I groveled. I pulled out all my best acting skills. Finally I asked them what it would cost to get them to take it immediately.

  I walked out of there with ten grand in cash, knowing I had been cheated.

  Not caring.

  Now, as I sit on a bench, waiting for my bus out of Miami, there’s only one thing left to do. Well, two things.

  I’m not sure which is harder.

  My burner phone rings. “Hello, little mouse. Feeling normal again today?”

  Normal. What is normal? My quiet acceptance of all that Sam has trained me to be? Of his tainted love, with all the ugliness that comes with it?

  I had an entire speech planned, about how he had taken advantage of me, how you don’t put those you love in danger. How I don’t think I can ever forgive him. But I’m tired and it just feels unnecessary. There are only two words I need to say.

  They may come out wobbly, but they are unyielding. “Goodbye, Sam.”

  Shutting the burner phone off, I toss it in the trash as a wave of relief washes over me.

  I am done with Sam.

  That was the easy part.

  Not wasting any time, I pick up my real phone. I take a deep, calming breath. And hit “send” on the text that I’ve struggled to type out for an entire hour. I know he called me last night—I see the notification of a message—and yet I can’t bear to listen to whatever he said. Just hearing his voice might crack my resolve, which would be catastrophic. I’ve already set too many wheels in motion this morning. I need a clean break.

  Cain gave me that last night.

  The only reason I’m texting him now is because of that voice in the back of my conscience that says I don’t want him to worry about me. Because, despite what he may think of me right now, he might grow concerned when I don’t come to pi
ck up my things, when no one hears from me again.

  I wait for the indication that the message has been delivered, and then I quickly shut the power off, strip it of its memory chip, and toss it into the trash.

  I wrap my arms around my knapsack and bury my face so no one sees the tears that begin pouring.

  Waiting for the second wave of relief.

  The one that never comes.

  chapter forty-one

  * * *

  CAIN

  The chime of my phone startles me awake.

  The words staring out at me from the screen turn my blood cold:

  I hope you can forgive me one day. Please give my apartment to Ben and anything of mine at your place to Ginger.

  It takes me another few moments to fully process what’s going on.

  Charlie is saying goodbye.

  No.

  Did she even listen to my message? She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t be leaving me if she had.

  I rush to dial her number—number one on my favorites. It goes straight to voice mail.

  Fuck. No.

  With quick fingers, I punch out a message:

  Call me. Now.

  I get an error message back, saying the text was never delivered.

  I try again.

  I try ten more times.

  Each time, the message bounces back. It’s as if Charlie has disconnected her phone.

  As if I’m never going to hear from her again.

  The thought of that brings a sting to my eyes. No . . . this can’t be happening. Checking the clock to see that it reads ten a.m.—I must have drifted off on Charlie’s couch around six—I hit number two on speed dial. I don’t even wait for John’s greeting. The second I hear someone pick up, I throw out my demand. “Get your ass to Miami. Today.”

  * * *

  “Still a fucking looker, I see,” John booms, stalking into my office to slap his meaty hand against mine.

  “And you’re still not, I see,” I retort with a wry grin, softly punching his substantial gut. “What is this?”

  “The women love it!” With a boom of laughter, John turns to appraise Nate’s size with a whistle. The last time they saw each other, Nate was still a scrawny teenager. “What have you been feeding this runt?”

  Nate’s face splits wide open in a grin as he takes John’s hand within his own.

  Nodding slowly, John murmurs, “Good to see you two again. I can’t believe it’s been so long since . . .”

  “Nine years,” I confirm. After that night, John seemed to make a point of swinging by my apartment weekly, offering any little bits of info on my family’s murder. Bits that didn’t add up to anything, but I appreciated it all the same because it meant the cops hadn’t already dismissed it. He came around enough, saw enough of my black eyes and bruised knuckles, that he had to know I was fighting. He never questioned me, though.

  The night that John showed up at my house three months after the murder with two mug shots was the night he earned my trust. Tossing them onto the table, he told me to memorize those faces and to run in the other direction should I ever see them. They belonged to the men who the police suspected were involved and sometimes, especially in drug-related crimes that involved money, family members and friends become targets. If he knew anything about the money I stole, he never let on.

  He warned me that the lead was circumstantial at best and wouldn’t hold up in court but maybe, just maybe, they’d find concrete evidence. But he added that the police force was overextended, that they had some high-profile cases on their desk already, that sometimes, despite knowing who the guilty persons are, those nails in their coffins could remain elusive.

  Basically, John was telling me not to get my hopes up.

  That was the last night we ever talked about my family’s murder.

  Tossing his duffel bag onto the floor—he obviously came straight from the airport—John takes a seat on the couch as I pour him a fresh glass of cognac. And he dives right into business. “So, her phone hasn’t been used since an outgoing text to you at ten-oh-four this morning, eastern standard time. Looks like it’s no longer operational. She must have pulled the sim card out. Banks accounts are drained. I’ve got her credit card being monitored and I’ll get notified if it’s used. I’ve got people searching the airlines out of here. But, if she took a bus and paid cash, we’re S.O.L.”

  Nate and I exchange a serious look as John takes a sip of his drink. When I filled Nate in on everything earlier, I thought he was going to throttle me. He started to ask why the hell I ever let her leave with that guy, but he stopped short, knowing I was already beating myself senseless over it.

  I’ll never forgive myself for that.

  “Oh, and that uncle you were asking me about?” John sets his drink down on a side table with a frown as he drags his bag closer. Pulling out a manila envelope that’s tucked into a side pocket, he confirms, “His name is Phillip. Fifty years old. Mechanic. Here.” He hands me a picture of a thin, brown-haired man, confirming one hundred percent that the man I met last night is not Charlie’s uncle. Or that everything I know about her past isn’t true.

  Fuck, which is it?

  “Cain, why the hell did you drag me all the way here to give you this information? I assume it’s for something good. I mean, I don’t mind seeing you.” His hand gestures in the direction of the club with a knowing smirk. “I certainly don’t mind visiting you here. But I could have given you all this information over the phone.”

  I pause to inhale the rest of my drink. “I’ve got another lead for finding her.”

  “Well then . . .” He moves with surprising agility for such a large, unfit man. “Let’s get on with it.”

  Despite my sour mood, I smile. “Thanks for dropping everything to come out, John.”

  “All-expense-paid trip to Miami?” he snorts. “Why would I say no to that!” He takes the few steps around my desk to settle a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Besides, you know I’m a sucker for love.”

  chapter forty-two

  * * *

  CHARLIE

  I wonder if someone actually went out of his way to cover this small, musty motel room in blue peacock wallpaper.

  Maybe it was a special price that he couldn’t pass up. Along with a discount on the cheap furniture, the puce shag carpet, and the mint-green floral bedspread.

  Or maybe this is how all shady motels in Mobile, Alabama are decorated.

  It took one transfer and nineteen hours but I made it to my destination, care of the coin toss when I purchased my bus ticket. After spending hours looking for a motel that didn’t require a credit card or an ID to rent a room, I finally found this one. All the scraggly-haired guy at the front desk seemed to require was an extra-tight T-shirt and cash.

  Luckily, I had both.

  I haven’t slept in days.

  I keep reaching into my purse for my phone, only to realize that I don’t have one anymore. Nor do I have a driver’s license or a credit card, or a social security number, or a passport. It’s all gone, cut up into small pieces and burned.

  I am no one.

  I strip all the covers off the bed and pull on a T-shirt of Cain’s that I had in my car, inhaling the fresh, woodsy smell until my lungs feel like they’re about to explode.

  Aside from my memories, this is all I have left of him. Even if I don’t wash it, I wonder how long it will be before his scent is gone.

  I burst out in a fresh round of ragged sobs at the thought, my arms clinging to my body as if the act will keep me together.

  As if it will keep my heart from falling apart.

  chapter forty-three

  * * *

  CAIN

  “I’ve been on that guy for almost two weeks, Cain. I’m telling you, he’s barely left his place. Aside from the hooker he picked up two nights ago and a trip to the grocery store for two steaks, one bag of jerky, two pound of bacon, three dozen eggs, one pack of burgers . . .” John ticks off Ronald Sullivan’s grocer
y list on his fingers to prove how good of a detective he really is, adding, “Oh, and a jug of OJ to round out his dietary needs. Aside from that, he hasn’t left his apartment. I’ve got a GPS on his car for the times when I have to do things like use the can or grab some food. Or, dare I say, sleep.”

  I’ve been riding John pretty hard these past two weeks. He’s staying at my condo, but he’s rarely there. “Don’t you think that’s weird?” I say.

  “Of course it is! But unless he leads me somewhere, he’s useless.”

  “Cell phone?”

  “One that he uses to phone his mother, upstate. If he’s into what you say he is, then he won’t use his own phone. Not unless he’s an idiot.” John shrugs. “You know, if Charlie is involved and she disappeared, they could be laying low for a bit, until they know their doors aren’t about to be busted down by a raid.”

  He has a point.

  “Yeah . . .” I sigh, just as a knock sounds on my office door. Ginger’s head pokes in. She flashes John a wide, playful smile as she strolls in, her curvy frame in a pink dress holding his eye. “We’ve gotta go, Cain. The ceremony is in half an hour.” Her voice has taken on an unusually soft timber around me since Charlie left. I don’t know if it has more to do with feeling bad for me or feeling bad in general. The two of them had grown close as well. I haven’t told her anything about my suspicions about Charlie and, surprisingly, she hasn’t asked.

  The last thing I want to be doing right now is going to a wedding. Right now, I’d rather climb into my car and drive over to Ronald Sullivan’s house to knock the answer out of him. But this is Storm and Dan. I’d never miss this day.

  “Come on, date.” Ginger reaches out to help me out of my seat, pulling on my arm as I reluctantly follow. I was supposed to take Charlie with me to this and we both know it. I think that’s why Ginger insisted on meeting me here and driving with me. I closed Penny’s for the night. She probably figured I’d be at the bottom of my bottle by mid-afternoon.