by Bijou Hunter
“Just take off your clothes and let me ravage you. No feelings necessary to get me wet.”
“You can’t know how hard I got when you said ravage.”
Raven studied my face. “I would caress you with my foot, but I worry I might crush your balls instead.”
“Man, if you keep sweet-talking me like this, I won’t be able to wait until we get you home. I’ll just do you in the bushes.”
Raven gave me a big smile. “Every time I worry you’ll get all weak and clingy, you say something so unromantic and I immediately like you more. You’re the best fuck buddy ever.”
“Shit,” I muttered, reaching for my wallet. “I need to get you naked soon before my dick instigates a revolt in my pants.”
“Hallmark called,” she said, giving me her bitchy girl face, “and they want their romantic drivel back.”
Standing up, I pulled her out of her chair and sucked on her neck until she lost the superior expression on her sexy face. Relaxing into my embrace, she moaned my name quietly and I finally relented. I stared down into her faded blue eyes and smiled.
“I may never own your heart, plum, but I’ve paid for your pussy in full.”
Raven burst into laughter then pulled out her phone. I watched her text something then hit send.
“I know Lark’s been in the dumps lately and that’s totally going to give her a good laugh.”
“Sounded better in my head.”
Raven patted my cheek. “Dumbass. Fortunately, I like my friends stupid. It helps me fit in.”
“Thanks, pancake.”
“Keep trying, nutless. I’m going to pee while you pay.”
“I thought this wasn’t a date.”
“It’s not,” she said, walking away. “I mooch off my friends too.”
I paid the check and left a nice tip for the waitress who had to endure all of our cock talk through the meal. While I considered waiting for Raven, that seemed like a boyfriend move. Instead, I walked outside and stared at the late morning sky.
A Harley woke me from my horny thoughts and I noticed Reaper Scott Clark arriving with a small girl on the back of his bike. I was no Mister Law and Order by any means, but even I knew the kid could fall off in traffic and die. Guys around Ellsberg thought they were tough shit having their princesses riding on their Harleys. They figured as long as she was wearing a helmet that a three year old should be fine.
Rolling my eyes as the thought process of the guys in my motorcycle club, I felt Raven exiting the restaurant. She pushed past me and walked towards my Harley. I assumed she was pissed because I hadn’t hung back like her bitch.
“What?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“I want to go.”
“Hey, Vaughn,” Scott said, walking with his kid. “Raven.”
Turning away from the guy, Raven stared at me. “I want to go home now.”
“Sure,” I said, giving a head nod to Scott who disappeared into the restaurant.
Raven climbed on behind me and held on tight.
“Did you have a run-in with that fuck?” I asked, glancing back at her. “Shit, don’t tell me he’s an old boyfriend.”
Raven frowned at me. “That’s my dad, you jackass.”
Oddly relieved by this news, I hated to have been jealous. Man, were my balls already in her purse? Had I not noticed when she removed them? What was wrong with me?
Raven said nothing as we rode to the Johansson property outside of Ellsberg. She didn’t speak after we parked by Cooper’s old apartment or during the walk up the stairs. She ignored the Rottweilers running around in the yard and the sounds of Sawyer squealing in the pool.
I tugged her to a stop once we were inside. “What’s the deal? Did the fucker hurt you as a kid?”
“He didn’t do shit when I was a kid,” Raven said, kicking off her sandals. “He has a bunch of little girls around Kentucky from the many women he’s nailed. I suspect the fucker will keep trying until he makes a boy.”
I walked to the fridge in the small kitchen for a drink. Finding beer and fruit punch, my choice wasn’t difficult. I brought a beer for Raven too and joined her on the couch where I kicked off my boots.
“I didn’t know your dad was a Reaper.”
“Doesn’t matter. He’s never been a dad. I didn’t even know he supplied the sperm to make me until we moved back here and Mom hooked up with her current turd. Larry said he didn’t want biker trash as a stepdaughter so I needed to disown Scott. I was like, ‘Who the fuck is Scott?’ Suddenly, the asshole showed up and announced I was an adult and he wasn’t making a claim on me. It was stupid as shit and I was like good riddance.”
Raven struggled to sound angry, but I heard pain in her voice too.
“Then, a few months later, Scott saw me with my boyfriend Dex and started telling us how to behave. Like we were goofing around and Dex was stoned and Scott said we were embarrassing him. I should have kicked his ass, but I worried he’d hurt Dex who could barely stand because he was giggling so much.”
Raven stopped speaking. She likely heard how stupid it all sounded and was embarrassed. I knew how she felt when it came to a shitty family and non-existent dad. Guys like Kirk who married his baby mama and stayed faithful were rare. Most were like Scott with kids with several chicks and a wife at home who was lucky to have him in her bed once a week.
“I never knew my dad either,” I said, drinking half my beer. “Could have been a couple guys. My mom was club pussy then got run off after she wouldn’t have an abortion. She raised me half of the time. The other half, I was with my granddad in West Virginia.”
“Do you ever wonder about him?”
“No, I don’t need to know his name and life story to know he was a piece of shit. My mom was a dumb fuck, but she was young and looking to belong somewhere. She’s always wanted to belong. She does now, but she knows her place. Anyway, having a dad sounds great except when that dad is a fucker. Better to have nothing than a bastard giving you shit all the time.”
Looking a little lost, Raven nodded. “I’ve never let a man talk to me like I let Scott do that day. He called me a whore in front of a bunch of people and I didn’t do anything. I should have, but I felt so weird to have him act like I mattered enough for him to be disappointed in me. I felt like I was a little kid wanting his approval except who the fuck is he? Just some guy who fucked my mom. They weren’t together. They weren’t anything and he was nothing to me. I don’t even have his last name. Mom gave Phoenix his shitty dad’s last name and the guy had tried to kill her. Anyway, Scott made me feel like a loser, but I let him.”
“I’ll kick his ass next time I see him,” I said, giving her a smile even though I had every intention of making Scott bleed.
Raven shook her head. “Whatever. I just don’t like seeing him. I’m embarrassed about that day. How I let him make me feel. When I see him, even from afar, I feel like I’m back there. It’s stupid and I left Ellsberg thinking people like him were the problem. It’s me though. I’m the one who lets them mess with my head. I just need to stop being stupid about it.”
“Easier said than done.”
“True, but I can’t control assholes. I can only control me. If I make good decisions, I can have a better life. I don’t have to be like my mom, begging for scraps of attention from a jerk. I can be free of that life.”
“I’ll never make you beg for anything more than orgasms.”
Raven glanced at me and smiled. “You’re very compassionate that way.”
“I really am. It’s my curse.”
Raven set her beer down. “I’m in a shitty mood and I want to smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink until I barf. I’m not doing those things, but I will fuck you until I can’t feel my legs. As my fuck buddy, it’s your duty to help me.”
“I take my fuck buddy responsibilities very seriously. Now, let’s get you naked, so I can start the healing.”
Laughing, Raven jumped to her feet and ran for the bedroom. Any awkwardness I might ha
ve felt about fucking in Cooper’s old room, let alone on his bed, ended when I saw the blonde goddess jumping around naked on the mattress. The healing process had officially commenced.
Three hours later, we dozed off exhausted. Four hours later, I woke in a fit of panic. Cuddled up with Raven, I was on my way to losing my damn mind.
What was my plan anyway? Wait until she woke up then we’d go to dinner. Maybe a movie or bowling. Then, we’d spend the night together. By the end of the week, we’d be talking marriage and baby carriages. I’d walk around with a stupid smile on my face, not at all concerned about my missing balls. Or the death sentence hovering over me.
No, I wasn’t whipped yet. It wasn’t too late to stop the downward spiral into stupid. For Raven’s sake as much as mine, I needed to pull away and remember why they called me Outlaw. I belonged nowhere and to no one. Despite everything Raven offered, nothing had changed. I was a murderer with blood on my hands and a bounty on my head.
Raven was asleep when I slipped out of her place and drove away. I left a text about hooking up with her as soon as my cock healed. Even trying to keep it light, I knew she would be pissed. At least, that’s what I hoped.
Chapter Five - Raven
My sickness hadn’t ended with a bout of abstinence. I was still drawn to bad men who used then tossed me aside. The upside was this time I hadn’t lost my heart or mind. I’d simply lost my panties.
I couldn’t find them anywhere.
After a shower, I retrieved a new pair like I could never find a new heart. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Whatever we called it was a definite step in the right direction romance-wise. Too bad the idiot had to be a jackass too.
Vaughn sent a short text about hitting me up soon. I wanted to hit him up right then. A punch followed by more sex, but he was gone. At least, he hadn’t turned clingy because this arrangement worked for me.
As annoying as it was to have Vaughn ditch me while I slept, I felt great. Didn’t even have an urge for my Nicorette. I was hungry though and the fridge was rather empty except for beer and juice.
The Johanssons had opened their home to me in a completely unexpected way. During the years I spent in Ellsberg, I heard plenty of things about this family. I knew they had the power to make troublemakers disappear. When I was about to start second grade and my mom left me and Lark in the car, I watched Kirk drag a man behind a building.
Minutes later, he came out, but the man never did. I imagined all sorts of things about what happened to the man, but I never told Lark. She was reading a book and enjoying the fantasy world it provided. The real world was ugly and the Johanssons were like beautiful monsters.
These days, they were a family who adopted me for no reason besides my sister married their son’s friend. Walking into the house, I found Bailey sitting on the couch with Sawyer on the floor in front of her. They were watching a wilderness men show while Bailey braided her sister’s wavy hair. Outside, Jodi was napping under an umbrella while Kirk read off a Kindle next to her.
“Abstinence didn’t work for you, huh? Bailey muttered, glaring at me.
“How did you know? Do I smell? I asked, thinking I’d scrubbed in the shower.
Sawyer grinned. “You got kissed by a vacuum cleaner.”
Confused until Sawyer pointed at my neck, I remember the hickeys. “Giving up the cigs is hard. I needed another release.”
“Mom will stop smoking when she turns sixty,” Sawyer said, braiding her doll’s hair like Bailey did hers. “She doesn’t want to rush into the decision.”
Joining them on the couch, I asked even though I already knew the answer. “Are you mad?”
Bailey exhaled hard. “Tell me it wasn’t a big dumb blond loser with long hair like a girl.”
Sawyer giggled. “We should braid Vaughn’s hair.”
Smiling, I wanted to reassure Bailey. “It’s not serious.”
“Whore,” she said, clearly not reassured. “Stupid whore.”
“Uh-oh!” Sawyer cried. “She’s going to kick your ass.”
“No, I’m not. I’m too nice for that. I’m just going to hate Raven quietly and occasionally call her a whore.”
“And stupid,” I said, giving her a small smile.
“Well, you are stupid.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not as strong as you.”
Like someone flicked a switch, Bailey’s face lit up. “I am very strong. Determined.”
“No punching, I guess,” Sawyer said, looking at the TV.
Bailey wrapped a band at the end of Sawyer’s braid. “All done.”
Standing up, Sawyer felt the braid. “Thank you. I love you, Bailey.”
After the sisters hugged, Sawyer ran off to wherever she went when she wasn’t around.
“Farah trained Sawyer to be less evil,” Bailey said, setting her feet on the coffee table. “I should send my sister-in-law a fruit basket or something.”
“Are you mad?”
“No. Do you want to go swimming?”
“Sure. I’m restless.”
“Too much sex will do that.”
Once in our bikinis, we grabbed leftover chicken and headed to the pool. Stomachs full, we jumped in immediately because the Johanssons didn’t believe in the thirty minute rule.
“What was it like fucking Vaughn? He seems like he’d be selfish in bed.”
“Vaughn is the best fuck I’ve ever had. Not that I’ve had a lot of really great lovers or anything. Vaughn isn’t sensitive in bed. He fucks hard and fast. I like that though. He can also go and go. I like that too. Oh, he is sensitive enough to go down on a chick. At least, he did with me. More than once. I really like that.”
Bailey grinned, but her eyes looked irritated. “The guys I fuck are lame. Half of the time I don’t come. When I do, it’s usually because I did all the work. I haven’t been fucked well ever. I hate you a little right now.”
“That’s okay. I hate you all the time. Look at this house and your parents. I also like how nicely you tan. I usually get blotchy.”
Bailey smiled again and this one brightened her eyes. “I like that you’re jealous of me. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but I do.”
“Don’t worry about pretending to be nice around me. I like having a bitchy friend. Lark has been my best friend since birth and her niceness makes me feel like an asshole.”
“I think she’s nice because she’s tiny. If she were taller, she could be a bitch more. That’s my theory anyway.”
“Probably. What she lacks in size and strength, she makes up for in speed. I could never catch the little bitch when we’d play tag. I guess everyone has their skills.”
Bailey dipped her head into the water then came back up refreshed. “Don’t get too attached to Vaughn.”
“Not a problem. He’s a fuck buddy. Well, he was. I don’t know after he ditched me. The guy is weird.”
“Very weird, but he’s allowed to be that way because of how he’ll be dead soon.”
Goosebumps rose over my skin and I shivered. Vaughn wasn’t a nice guy and he pissed me off. Despite his asshole personality, he was full of life and I couldn’t imagine all of his energy snuffed out.
“Why dead?” I asked quietly. “I knew he was an outlaw or something from his old motorcycle club. What happened?”
Bailey shrugged and glanced around. “No one really tells me anything. I just know he showed up years ago with some girl and Pop said he killed an important asshole in the Devils. He’s been on borrowed time since then. I don’t know why, but lately the Devils are pushing hard to have Vaughn killed.”
“What girl?”
“Harlow. I saw her when they arrived and she was around my age. Beat up and skittish. She reminded of the old cat I had. We found Rainbow by the pond and she was kind of feral. We cleaned her up and fed her and took care of her, but every little noise made her run and hide. She was scared of the dogs. Sawyer would get loud and the cat would hide for hours. Eventually, she just ran off. That’s how Harl
ow seemed. Everything made her jump and she was always hiding behind Vaughn. If he moved, she moved with him.”
“Where is she now?”
“The cat or Harlow?”
“Both.”
“I don’t know about Rainbow. Dogs probably ate her. Harlow lives with the Todds. They take in runaways or other fucked up kids from clubs. Like a charity or something. Tad Todds is the local minister for the Reapers. He’s all religious, but not in a boring lame way. Anyway, they had moved to Tennessee for the ministry, but came back when the Devils said they wanted Harlow dead too.”
“Sounds like bullshit. Vaughn’s one guy. Who could he have killed that was such a big deal?”
“Who cares? Vaughn was their enforcer. He cleaned up the Devils’ messes then went and made a mess. They want him cleaned now.”
“Your dad won’t let that happen, will he?”
Even knowing I sounded like a whiny kid, Vaughn was too beautiful and funny to die. I imagined him saving that girl and being a hero. While I wasn’t an idealistic person, I liked the thought of him killing an evil fuck and plucking the abused child from hell.
Vaughn was just special. I wasn’t sure why he was special besides the sex and how he made me laugh. No matter what made him remarkable, I wanted him to live a long happy life.
“Pop’s not really running stuff anymore. It’s on Coop and cutting Vaughn loose might be easier than dealing with the Devils’ shit.”
“It’d make him look weak,” I said, immediately regretting the words.
“Cooper isn’t weak,” Bailey hissed and I thought she might hit me. I knew I’d hit her back and things would get messy. “He has to think about the whole club and the family business. That’s not easy. You don’t know the pressure, bitch.”
“No, but I know men and their images. If Cooper hands over Vaughn, it’ll send the signal that he’s weaker than your dad. That won’t be good for the club or the business.”
“Eat it, Raven. I know you like fucking Vaughn, but shut up about my family’s problems.”
Rolling my eyes, I swam to the other end of the pool and ignored her. Bailey did what she always did when insecure. She looked for someone to fix the hole inside her.