by Diana Palmer
“David is just downstairs,” she reminded him, grabbing at her towel. “And spies have bugged the whole house. They’re probably watching us right now!”
“They wouldn’t bug the bathroom,” he murmured dryly.
“Oh, wouldn’t they?”
He moved toward her, pulling her into his arms. “No,” he whispered, bending. “Is this better? I’ll hide you, Meg, from any eyes except my own.”
She felt his mouth nibble softly at her lips, teasing them into parting.
“You taste of mint,” he whispered.
“Spearmint toothpaste,” she managed to say.
“Open your mouth,” he whispered back. “I like to touch it, inside.”
She shivered a little, but she obeyed him. His hands smoothed over her firm breasts, savoring their silky warmth as he toyed with her mouth until she felt her body go taut with desire.
“I want you,” he breathed into her mouth. His hands lifted her hips and pressed them to his. “We could lie down on the carpet in here and make love.”
She felt his lips move down her throat until his mouth hungrily kissed her breasts.
“David—” she choked “—is downstairs.”
“And we’re engaged,” he whispered. “It’s all right if we make love. Even some of the Puritans did when they were engaged.”
“Steve,” she moaned.
He kissed her slowly, hungrily, moving his mouth over hers until she was mindless with pleasure.
“On second thought,” he said unsteadily, lifting her gently into his arms, “the carpet really won’t do this time, Meg. I want you on cool, clean sheets.”
She looked up into his eyes, her arms linked around his neck. Her blond hair was pinned up. Wisps of it teased her flushed cheeks. His gaze went all over her, lingering on her breasts.
“You want me, don’t you?” he asked, his voice deep and soft in the stillness of the room.
“I never stopped,” she replied unsteadily. “But, Daphne…!”
“I don’t sleep with Daphne,” he said as his mouth eased down on hers.
Maybe that was why he wanted Meg, she thought miserably. But none of it made sense, much less his hunger for her. He lost control when he touched her, and she was powerless to stop him.
“Steve, I can’t,” she groaned as he leaned over her with dark intent.
“Why not?”
“David’s just downstairs!” she exclaimed.
He was trying to remember that. But looking at Meg’s beautiful nude body made it really difficult. She shamed the most prized sculptures in the world.
“Why did you never tell me that you were with your sister when she died?” he asked softly.
She stiffened. Her face drew up and the memories were there, in her wide, hurt eyes.
He smiled wryly and pulled the cover over her. He sat down beside her, fighting to control his passion. She’d had enough excitement for one night and she was right. This wasn’t the time.
“Didn’t you think I’d understand?” he persisted.
“You wanted me very much,” she began slowly. “But you were so distant from me emotionally, Steve. The one time we came close to being intimate, you acted as if precautions didn’t matter at all. And I was young, and shy of you, and very embarrassed about things like sex. I couldn’t find the right way to tell you, so I froze up instead. And you blew up and told me to get out of your life.”
“I’d waited a month to touch you like that,” he reminded her. “I went overboard, I know. But you obsessed me.” He smiled with self-contempt. “You still do, haven’t you noticed? I touch you and I lose control. That hasn’t changed.”
“You don’t like losing control.”
He shook his head. “Not even with you, little one.”
She reached up and touched his chin, his mouth. “I lose control when you touch me,” she reminded him.
“You can afford to now. Your dancing won’t come between us anymore.”
“Don’t sound like that. Don’t be so cynical, Steve,” she pleaded, her wide eyes searching his. “You’re coming up with all sorts of reasons why I want to marry you, but none of them has anything to do with the real one.”
“And what is the real one? My money? My body?” he added with a cold smile.
“You can’t believe that I might really care about you, can you?” she asked sadly. “It’s too much emotion.”
“The only emotion that interests me is the emotion I feel when I’ve got you under me.”
She colored. “That’s sex.”
“That’s what we’ve got,” he agreed. “That’s all we’ve got, when you remove all the frills and excuses. And it will probably be enough, Meg. You can find a way to fill your time here in Wichita and spend my money, and I’ll come home every night panting to get into bed with you. What else do we need?”
He sounded so bitter. She didn’t know how to reach him. He was avoiding the issue because he couldn’t find a way to face it.
“You said you wanted a child,” she reminded him.
“I meant it.” He frowned slightly, remembering what David had told him. “Did you mean it, Meg?”
“Oh, yes,” she said gently. She smiled. “I like children.”
“I’ve never had much to do with them,” he confessed. “But I suppose people learn to be parents.” He slowly pulled the cover away from her body and looked down at her with curious, quiet eyes. “I didn’t think about anything that first time. Certainly not about making you pregnant.” He touched her stomach hesitantly, tracing a pattern on it while she lay breathlessly looking up at him. “Meg, how would it be if we made love,” he said slowly, meeting her eyes, “and we both thought about making a baby together while we did it?”
She felt her heartbeat racing. She stared at him with vulnerable eyes, her feelings so apparent that she could see his heartbeat increase.
“That would be…very exciting,” she whispered huskily. “Wouldn’t it?”
He drew her hand slowly to his body and let her feel the sudden, violent effect of the words. His breath stilled in his throat.
“Damn your brother,” he said unsteadily. “I want to strip off my clothes and pull you under me, right here, right now!”
She reached up, tugging his face down. He kissed her with slow anguish, a rough moan echoing into her mouth. His hand explored her, touched and tested her body until he made it tremble. She whimpered and he clenched his teeth while he tried to fight it.
“We can’t.” She wept.
“I know. Oh, God, I know!” He brought her up to him and held her roughly, crushing her against him so that the silky fabric of his suit made a faint abrasion against her softness. “Meg, I need you so!”
“I need you, too,” she murmured, shaken by the violence of her hunger for him. “So much!”
“Do you want to risk it?” he whispered at her ear. “It would have to be quick, Meg. No long loving, no tenderness.” Then he groaned and cursed under his breath as he realized what he was offering her. “No!” he said violently. “Oh, God, no, not like that. Not ever again!”
He forced himself to let go of her. His grip on her arms was bruising as he lifted away from her and then suddenly let her go and turned away. He was shaking, Meg saw, astonished.
“I’m going to get out of here and let you dress,” he said with his back to her. “I’m sorry, Meg.” He turned around, slowly, and looked down at her. “I want lovemaking,” he said quietly, “not raw sex. And we need to think about this. If you’re not already pregnant, we need to think very carefully about making you that way.”
She smiled gently. He sounded different. He even looked different. “I don’t need to think about it,” she said softly. “But if you do, you can have all the time in the world.”
Color ran along his cheekbones. He looked at her with eyes that made a meal of her. Finally he closed them, shivering, and turned away from her.
“I’ll see you downstairs,” he said in a faintly choked tone. He w
ent out without looking back and closed the door firmly.
Meg saw something in his face before he left the room. It was enough to erase every terror the night had held and give her the first real hope she’d had of a happy future with him.
10
But if Meg had expected that look in Steve’s eyes to change anything, she was mistaken. He’d had time to get himself together again, and he was distant while he drank coffee with Meg and David downstairs. She walked him to the door when he insisted scant minutes later that he had to leave. David discreetly took the coffee things into the kitchen, to give them a little privacy.
“When this is over,” he told Meg, “you’re going to marry me, as quickly as I can arrange a ceremony.”
“All right, Steven,” she replied.
He toyed with a strand of her blond hair, not meeting her eyes. “Daphne isn’t who you think,” he said. “I can’t say more than that. But a lot of people aren’t what you think they are.” He lifted his eyes to hers. “I’ll tell you all of it, as soon as I can.”
It was an erasing of doubts and fears. A masquerade, and almost time to whip off the masks. She searched his silver eyes quietly. “I care for you very much,” she said simply. “I’m tired of fighting it, Steven. I’ll be happy with what you can give me.”
His jaw clenched. “I don’t deserve that.”
She smiled impishly. “Probably not, but it’s true, just the same.” She moved closer and reached up to kiss him very tenderly. “I’m sorry David wouldn’t go away so that we could make love,” she whispered. “Because I want to, very, very much.”
“So do I, little one,” he said tautly. “It gets harder and harder to stay away from you.”
“But not hard enough to make you give up Daphne?” she probed delicately, and watched him close up.
“Give it time.”
She shrugged. “What else can I do?” she asked miserably. She sighed and leaned closer, so that his mouth was against her forehead. “I love you,” she said.
He held her with mixed emotions. She didn’t quite trust him, but he hoped she was telling the truth about her feelings. He was in too deep to back out now. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Lang had better be on his way to the moon,” he added irritably.
“Don’t hurt him,” she said softly. “He really did save me.”
“I know what he did,” he muttered, and it was in his eyes when he lifted his head. “Maybe they’ll give him to Ahmed as a going-away gift.”
“Ahmed isn’t going away, is he? I thought he was based in Washington, D.C.”
Steve started to speak, but decided against telling her what he’d been about to say. “You’ll understand everything in a day or two. Just a few loose ends to wrap up, now that Lang’s precipitated things. Don’t worry. You’re all right now.”
“Whenever I’m with you, I’m all right.”
“Are you?” he asked dryly. “I wonder.”
She drew back and smiled up at him. “Good night, Steven.”
He stuck his hands into his pockets with a long sigh. “Under different circumstances, it would have been a hell of a night,” he remarked. He studied her long and hard. “You’re lovely, Meg, and much more than just physically pretty. I don’t know why I ever let you go.”
“You didn’t feel safe with me. You still don’t, do you?”
“You were a career ballerina,” he reminded her.
“I was an idiot,” she replied. “I didn’t know you at all, Steven. I was young and silly and I never looked below the surface to see what things and people really were. You were afraid of involvement. Maybe I was, too. I ran for safety.”
“You weren’t the only one.” His eyes narrowed. “But I get homicidal when you’re threatened,” he said quietly. “And you get hysterical when I am,” he added. “Don’t you think it’s a little late for either of us to worry about getting involved now?”
She smiled ruefully. “We’re involved already.”
“To the back teeth,” he agreed. He drew in a long breath. “In more ways than one,” he added with a quick glance at her belly.
She laughed. “I was so afraid of it four years ago,” she said softly. “And now, I go to bed and dream about it.”
His hands clenched in his pockets. He searched her eyes closely. “It would really mean the loss of any hope of a career, even if your ankle heals finally,” he said. “How could you take a child with you to New York while you rehearse and dance? How could you hope to raise it by long distance?”
“I thought I might teach ballet, here in Wichita,” she began slowly. “It’s something I know very well, and there are two other retired ballerinas in town who worked with me when I was younger. I could get a loan from the bank and find a vacant studio.”
Lights blazed in his eyes. “Meg!” he groaned softly. He bent and kissed her, his mouth slow and tender.
She was stunned. Why, he didn’t mind! When he drew back, the radiance in his face stopped her heart.
“I could help you look for a studio,” he said, his voice deep and hesitant. “As for the financing, I could stake you at a lower interest than you could get from the bank. The rest of it would be your project.”
“Oh, Steven!”
He began to smile. He lifted her by the waist and held her close. “Wouldn’t you pine for the Broadway stage?”
“Not if I can work at something I love and still live with you,” she said simply. “I never dreamed you’d accept it.”
His eyes blazed into hers. “Didn’t you?”
Her arms looped around his neck and she put her mouth softly over his, kissing him with growing hunger.
He tried to draw back and her arms contracted.
“Kiss me,” she whispered huskily, and opened her mouth.
He made a sound that echoed in the quiet hall and she felt his tongue probing quickly, deeply, into the darkest reaches of her mouth while her body throbbed with sudden passion.
There was a ringing sound somewhere in the background that Steve and Meg were much too involved to hear.
A minute later there was a discreet cough behind them. Steve drew back and looked blindly over Meg’s shoulder, his mouth swollen, his tall body faintly tremulous.
“That was Lang,” David said with barely contained amusement. “He said to tell you that there’s a surveillance camera in the hall and the other agents are discussing film rights.”
Steve dropped Meg to her feet. He glared around at the ceiling. “Damn you, Lang!”
Meg leaned against Steve, laughing. “He’s incorrigible. One day we’ll hear that someone has suspended him over a pond of piranhas at the end of a burning rope.”
“Please, give them some more ideas,” Steve pleaded, glancing up again.
“Do you really think there are any they haven’t already entertained? They’re highly trained after all, right, Lang?” Meg called with a wicked grin.
Steve muttered something, dropped a quick kiss on Meg’s lips and left the house.
The office was buzzing with excitement the next morning, all about the wild chase and the capture of enemy agents. Daphne had told half the people in the building, apparently, because Steve got wry grins everywhere he went.
Ahmed came in late in the morning, surrounded by his bodyguards. He looked a little pale and drawn, but he was smiling, at least.
Daphne started to say something to him, abruptly thought better of it and left him in Steve’s office. The door closed softly behind her.
“Meg is all right?” Ahmed asked quietly.
“She’s fine. And none the wiser for it,” Steve replied heavily. He leaned back in his desk chair and propped his immaculate black boots up on the desk. “But I’m going to have a lot to say to Lang’s superiors about the way he protected her. With any luck, they’ll send him to Alaska to bug polar bears.”
Ahmed smiled slowly. “I understand there was something of a stir among the surveillance people last evening. Something about man-eating fish and burning hemp…
”
“Never mind,” Steve said quickly. “What’s the latest about the coup in your country?”
Ahmed sat down in the leather chair across from the desk and crossed one elegant leg over the other. His bearing was regal, like the tilt of his proud head and the arrogant sparkle in his black eyes.
“Ah, my friend, that is a story indeed,” he said pleasantly. “To shorten it somewhat, the assassins captured last night by your government’s agents were the weak link in a chain. We will learn much from them.” Ahmed looked very hard when his eyes met Steve’s.
Steve felt chills go down his spine. Ahmed had been his friend for a long time, but there were depths to the man that made him uneasy. He might not be a Moslem, but Ahmed was every inch an Arab. His thirst for vengeance knew no bounds when it was aroused.
“When do you leave for home?”
Ahmed spread his hands. “Today, if it can be arranged. The sooner the better, you understand.” His black eyes narrowed. “I would not willingly have put you and Meg and David at risk. I hope you know this, and understand that it was not my doing.”
“Of course I do.”
“Meg…you have not told her?” he added carefully.
“I thought it best not to,” Steve said. “The less she knows the safer she is. For now, at least.”
Ahmed smiled. “I agree. She is unique, our Meg. If she did not belong to you, my friend, I could lose my heart very easily to that one.”
“You’re invited to the wedding,” Steve replied.
“You honor me, and I would enjoy the occasion. But the risk of returning to your country so soon after this unfortunate attempt at an overthrow is too great.”
“I understand.”
“I wish you well, Steve. Thank you for all that you have done for my people—and for myself. I look forward to future projects such as this one. With your help, my country will move into the twentieth century and lessen the chance of invasion from outside forces.”
“Watch your back, will you?” Steve asked. “Even with the culprits in custody, you can’t be too careful.”
“I realize this.” Ahmed got to his feet, resplendent in his gray business suit. He smiled at Steve as they shook hands. “Take care of yourself, as well, and give my best to your brother and the so beautiful Meg.”