PS, I Love You: A Novel

by Cecelia Ahern

  “Wow, you’re such a good advertisement for it,” she laughed. “When is it on?” She took out her diary and made a note of it. “That’s perfect, I can come straight after work.”

  “Well, make sure you bring your bikini to work in that case.”

  “Make sure I bring my what?”

  “Your bikini,” he laughed. “It has a beach theme.”

  “But it’s winter, you nutter.”

  “Hey, it wasn’t my idea. The slogan is ‘Blue Rock, the hot new drink for winter.’”

  “Ugghh, how tacky,” she groaned.

  “And messy. We’re getting sand thrown all over the floor, which will be a nightmare to clean up. Anyway, listen, I better get back to work, we’re mad busy today.”

  “OK, thanks, Daniel. Have a think about what you want your ad to say and get back to me.”

  “Will do.”

  She hung up and sat quietly for a moment. Finally she stood up and went next door to Chris’s office, a thought occurring to her.

  “You finished dancing in there?” he chuckled.

  “Yeah, I just made up a routine. Came in to show you,” she joked.

  “What’s the problem?” he said, finishing off what he was writing and taking off his glasses.

  “No problem; just an idea.”

  “Take a seat.” He nodded to the chair in front of him. Just three weeks ago she had sat there for an interview, and now here she was putting ideas forward to her new boss. Funny how life changed so quickly, but then again she had learned that already …

  “What’s the idea?”

  “Well, you know Hogan’s around the corner?”

  Chris nodded.

  “Well, I was just on to the owner and he’s going to place an ad in the magazine.”

  “That’s great, but I hope you don’t tell me about every time you fill a space, we could be here all year.”

  Holly made a face. “That’s not it, Chris. Anyway, he was telling me that they’re having a launch party for a new drink called Blue Rock. A new Alco pop drink. It has a beach theme, all the staff will be in bikinis and that kind of thing.”

  “In the middle of winter?” he raised his eyebrows.

  “It’s apparently the hot new drink for winter.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Tacky.”

  Holly smiled. “That’s what I said. Anyway, I just thought it might be worth finding out about and covering. I know we’re supposed to raise ideas in the meetings, but this is happening pretty soon.”

  “I understand. That’s a great idea, Holly. I’ll get one of the lads onto it.”

  Holly smiled happily and stood up from her chair. “By the way, did you get that garden sorted yet?”

  Chris frowned. “I’ve had about ten different people come down to look at it. They tell me it’ll cost six grand to do.”

  “Wow, six grand! That’s a lot of money.”

  “Well, it’s a big garden, so they have a point. A lot of work needs to be done.”

  “What was the cheapest quote?”

  “Five and a half grand, why?”

  “Because my brother will do it for five,” she blurted out.

  “Five?” His eyes nearly popped out of his head. “That’s the lowest I’ve heard yet. Is he any good?”

  “Remember I told you my garden was a jungle?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, it’s a jungle no longer. He did a great job on it, but the only thing is that he works alone, so it takes him longer.”

  “For that price I don’t care how long it takes. Have you got his business card with you?”

  “Eh … yeah, hold on and I’ll get it.” She stole some impressive-looking card stock from Alice’s desk, typed up Richard’s name and mobile number in fancy writing, and printed it out. She cut it into a small rectangle shape, making it appear like a business card.

  “That’s great,” Chris said, reading it. “I think I’ll give him a call now.”

  “No no,” Holly said quickly. “You’ll get him easier tomorrow. He’s up to his eyeballs today.”

  “Right so; thanks, Holly.” She started to head toward the door and stopped when he called out to her, “Oh, by the way, how are you at writing?”

  “It was one of the subjects I learned at school.”

  Chris laughed. “Are you still on that level?”

  “Well, I’m sure I could purchase a thesaurus.”

  “Good, because I need you to cover that launch thing on Tuesday.”

  “Oh?”

  “I can’t get any of the others at such short notice and I can’t go to it myself, so I have to rely on you.” He shuffled some papers on his desk. “I’ll send one of the photographers down with you; get a few shots of the sand and the bikinis.”

  “Oh … OK.” Holly’s heart raced.

  “How does eight hundred words sound?”

  Impossible, she thought. As far as she knew, she had only fifty words in her vocabulary. “That’s no problem,” she said confidently and backed out the door. Shit shit shit shit, she thought to herself; how on earth was she going to pull this one off? She couldn’t even spell properly.

  She picked up the phone and pressed redial.

  “Hogan’s.”

  “Daniel Connelly, please.”

  “One moment.”

  “Don’t put me on …”

  “Greensleeves” started.

  “Hold,” she finished.

  “Hello?”

  “Daniel, it’s me,” she said quickly.

  “Would you ever leave me alone,” he teased.

  “No, I need help.”

  “I know you do, but I’m not qualified for that,” he laughed.

  “No seriously, I mentioned that launch to my editor and he wants to cover it.”

  “Oh brilliant. You can forget about that ad so!” he laughed.

  “No, not brilliant. He wants me to write it.”

  “That’s great news, Holly.”

  “No it’s not, I can’t write,” she panicked.

  “Oh really? That was one of the main subjects in my school.”

  “Oh Daniel, please be serious for a minute …”

  “OK, what do you want me to do?”

  “I need you to tell me absolutely everything you know about this drink and the launch so I can start writing it now and have a few days to work on it.”

  “Yes, just one minute, sir,” he yelled away from the phone. “Look Holly, I really have to get back to work now.”

  “Please,” she whimpered.

  “OK listen, what time do you finish work?”

  “Six.” She crossed her fingers and prayed for him to help her.

  “OK, why don’t you come around here at six, and I’ll take you somewhere to have a bite?”

  “Oh, thank you so much, Daniel.” She jumped around her office with relief. “You’re a star!”

  She hung up the phone happily and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe there was a chance she could get the article done after all and still manage to keep her job. Then she froze as she went back over the conversation in her head.

  Had she just agreed to go on a date with Daniel?

  Thirty-nine

  HOLLY COULDN’T CONCENTRATE DURING THE last hour of work; she kept on watching the clock, willing the time to go more slowly. For once it was the exact opposite. Why didn’t it go this fast when she was waiting to open her messages from Gerry? She opened her bag for the millionth time that day to double-check that Gerry’s eighth message was still tucked safely in the inside pocket. As it was the last day of the month she had decided to bring the October envelope with her to work. She wasn’t sure why, because she knew she had no intentions of working till midnight, she could easily wait until she got home to open it. But her excitement was just so strong that she couldn’t face leaving it sitting on the kitchen table as she headed out to work. She was even more intrigued by this one, as the envelope was slightly larger than the others. Plus, she felt Gerry was closer to her thi
s way. His words were in her handbag and that was the closest she would get to him. She was only hours away from being that much closer to him again, and while she willed the clock to move faster so she could read it, she was also dreading her dinner with Daniel.

  At six o’clock on the button she heard Alice switch off her computer and clatter down the wooden stairs to freedom. Holly smiled, remembering that was exactly how she had once felt. But then again, everything was different when you had a beautiful husband to go home to. If she still had Gerry with her she would be racing Alice out the door.

  She listened as a few of the others packed up their things and she prayed Chris would dump another load on her desk just so she would have to stay late and cancel dinner with Daniel. She and Daniel had been out together millions of times, so why was she worrying now? But something was niggling her at the back of her mind. There was something in his voice that worried her, and there was something that happened to her stomach when his voice came on the phone that made her feel uneasy about meeting up with him. She felt so guilty and ashamed for going out with him, and she tried to convince herself it was just a business dinner. In fact, the more she thought about it the more she realized that that was exactly what it was. She thought about how she had become one of those people who discussed business over dinner. Usually the only business she discussed over dinner was men and life in general with Sharon and Denise, which was girls’ business.

  She slowly shut down her computer and packed her briefcase with meticulous care. Everything she did was in slow motion, as though that would prevent her from having to have dinner with Daniel. She hit herself over the head … it was a business dinner.

  “Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Alice leaned in through Holly’s door.

  Holly jumped with fright. “Jesus, Alice, I didn’t see you there.”

  “Everything OK?”

  “Yeah,” she said unconvincingly. “I just have to do something that I really don’t want to do. But I kind of want to do it, which makes me not want to do it even more because it seems so wrong even though it’s right. You know?” She looked at Alice, who was staring at her with wide eyes.

  “I thought I overanalyzed things.”

  “Oh, don’t mind me.” Holly perked up, “I’m just going nuts.”

  “It happens to the best of us,” Alice smiled.

  “What are you doing back here?” Holly said suddenly, realizing she had heard her legging it out the door earlier. “Does freedom not beckon you?”

  “I know,” Alice rolled her eyes, “but I forgot we had a meeting at six.”

  “Oh,” Holly was disappointed. Nobody had told her about any meeting today, which wasn’t unusual because she wasn’t required to be at all of them. But it was unusual for Alice to attend one without Holly being asked.

  “Is it about anything interesting?” Holly poked around for information, trying to make herself sound uninterested while she busied herself at her desk.

  “It’s the astrology meeting.”

  “Astrology meeting?”

  “Yeah, we have it monthly.”

  “Oh, am I supposed to be there or am I not invited to it?” She tried not to sound bitter but failed miserably, much to her embarrassment.

  Alice laughed. “Of course you’re welcome to come, Holly, I was just about to ask you, which is why I’m standing outside your office.”

  Holly put her briefcase down feeling stupid and followed Alice into the boardroom, where everybody was sitting down and waiting.

  “Everyone, this is Holly’s first astrology meeting, so let’s make her feel welcome,” Alice announced.

  Holly took her seat while they all jokingly applauded their new member at the table. Chris spoke to Holly: “Holly, I just want you to know that I have absolutely nothing to do with this nonsense and I want to apologize in advance for you being dragged into it.”

  “Oh shut up, Chris.” Tracey waved a hand at her boss as she took her seat at the head of the table with a notepad and pen in her hand.

  “OK, who wants to go first this month?”

  “Let Holly go first,” Alice said generously.

  Holly looked around completely baffled. “But Holly doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.”

  “Well, what star sign are you?” Tracey asked.

  “Taurus.”

  Everyone oohed and aahed, and Chris held his head in his hands and tried to look like he wasn’t enjoying himself.

  “Ooh great,” Tracey said happily. “We’ve never had a Taurus before. OK, so are you married or seeing anyone or single or anything?”

  Holly blushed as Brian winked over at her and Chris smiled at her encouragingly; he was the only one at the table who knew about Gerry. Holly realized this was the first time she had had to answer this question since Gerry had died, and she was confused as to how to answer. “Em … no, I’m not really seeing anyone but …”

  “OK then,” Tracey said, starting to write, “this month Taurus shall look out for someone tall, dark and handsome and …” She shrugged and looked up, “Anybody?”

  “Because he will have a big impact on her future,” Alice helped out.

  Brian winked over at her again, obviously finding it very amusing that he was also tall and dark, and obviously blind if he thought he was handsome. Holly visibly shuddered and he looked away.

  “OK, the career stuff is easy,” Tracey continued. “Taurus will be occupied and satisfied by a new workload that comes their way. Lucky day will be a …” she thought for a while, “Tuesday, and lucky color is … blue,” she decided, looking at the color of Holly’s top. “Right, who’s next?”

  “Hold on a minute,” Holly interrupted. “Is this my horoscope for next month?” she asked, shocked.

  Everyone around the table laughed. “Have we shattered your dreams?” Gordon teased.

  “Completely,” she said, sounding crushed. “I love reading my horoscopes. Please tell me this isn’t what all magazines do?” she pleaded.

  Chris shook his head, “No, not all magazines do it like this, Holly, some of them just hire people who have the talent to make it up themselves without involving the rest of the office.” He glared at Tracey.

  “Ha-ha, Chris,” Tracey said dryly.

  “So Tracey, you’re not psychic?” Holly asked sadly.

  Tracey shook her head, “No, not psychic, but I’m good as an agony aunt and at making up crossword puzzles, thank you very much.” She glared at Chris and he mouthed the word “wow” at her.

  “Ah, you’ve all ruined it for me now,” Holly laughed, and sat back in her chair feeling deflated.

  “OK Chris, you’re next. This month Gemini will overwork themselves, never leave their office and eat junk food all the time. They need to find some sort of balance in their lives.”

  Chris rolled his eyes. “You write that every month, Tracey.”

  “Well, until you change your lifestyle I can’t change what Gemini will do, can I? Besides, I haven’t had any complaints so far.”

  “But I’m complaining!” Chris laughed.

  “But you don’t count because you don’t believe in star signs.”

  “And I wonder why,” he laughed.

  They went through everyone’s star sign and Tracey finally gave in to Brian’s demands that Leo be desired by the opposite sex all month and win the lottery. Hmm … wonder what star sign Brian was. Holly looked at her watch and realized she was late for her business meeting with Daniel.

  “Oh, sorry everybody, I have to rush off,” she said, excusing herself from the table.

  “Your tall, dark and handsome man awaits you,” Alice giggled. “Send him on to me if you don’t want him.”

  Holly headed outside and her heart beat wildly as she spotted Daniel walking down the road to meet her. The cool autumn months had arrived, so Daniel was back wearing his black leather jacket again, teamed with blue jeans. His black hair was messy and stubble lined his chin. He had that just-out-of-bed look. Holly’s sto
mach lurched again and she looked away.

  “Ooh, I told you!” Tracey said excitedly as she walked out the door behind Holly and hurried off down the road happily.

  “I’m so sorry, Daniel,” she apologized. “I got tied up in a meeting and I couldn’t call,” she lied.

  “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure it was important.” He smiled at her and she instantly felt guilty. This was Daniel, her friend, not someone she should be avoiding. What on earth was wrong with her?

  “So where would you like to go?” he asked.

  “How about in there?” Holly said, looking at the small café on the ground floor of her office building. She wanted to go to the least intimate and most casual place possible.

  Daniel scrunched up his nose. “I’m a bit hungrier than that if you don’t mind. I haven’t eaten all day.”

  They walked along together and Holly pointed out every single café along the way, and Daniel shook his head at each one. Eventually he settled on an Italian restaurant that Holly couldn’t say no to. Not because she wanted to go in but because there was nowhere else left to go after she had said no to every other dark, romantic restaurant and Daniel had refused to eat in any of the casual, brightly lit cafés.

  Inside it was quiet, with just a few tables occupied by couples staring lovingly into each other’s eyes over a candlelit dinner. When Daniel stood up to take his jacket off Holly quickly blew out the candle on their table when he wasn’t looking. He was dressed in a deep blue shirt that caused his eyes to seem luminous in the dim restaurant.

  “They make you sick, don’t they?” Daniel laughed, following Holly’s gaze to a couple on the far side of the room who were kissing across the table.

  “Actually no,” Holly thought aloud. “They make me sad.”

  Daniel hadn’t heard her, as he was busy reading through the menu. “What are you having?”

  “I’m going to have a Caesar salad.”

  “You women and your Caesar salads,” Daniel teased. “Aren’t you hungry?”

  “Not really.” She shook her head and blushed as her stomach grumbled loudly.

  “I think somebody disagrees with you down there,” he laughed. “I don’t think you ever eat, Holly Kennedy.”