“Your…lawyer?” Erin lifted a shaking hand to her mouth and stared at him.
“I want what’s best for Lily. And for all of us.” He lifted a shoulder. “I just don’t know what that is.”
She rallied at that. “A stable home, with her brothers and me.”
He ignored the sharpness of Erin’s tone, knowing that she was scared and worried about the daughter she’d come to love as her own. “What about her closest blood relative? A father who’s missed every big landmark in her life—first words, first steps—and wants a chance to see her grow up?”
Erin closed her eyes tightly for a moment. “What do you want, really? You must have some idea.”
“I want to be a part of my daughter’s life.”
Her eyes widened with fear. “In—in what way?”
“I’m not sure. Lily has faced a lot of big changes in a short time. Coming to live with you and your husband. Your divorce. The move up here, and change of schools.”
“I’ve given her a loving home and family,” Erin snapped. “Things are settling down for her…and you want to disrupt her life again?”
“No, I want to talk about all of this. Tell me what you think would be best for her, and I’ll listen.”
Erin pushed away from her desk and strode to the window, then turned and propped a hip against the sill, her arms folded across her chest. The anger in her eyes faded to weary acceptance. “I think it would be in her best interest to get to know you gradually, so she’ll be comfortable with you. If you want it done through legal channels, our lawyers can arrange visitation rights.”
“Does it have to be so formal right now? Maybe we can just see how things go.”
“That would be fine, but understand that this isn’t like a no-strings test drive. If you don’t find parenthood that much fun, are you going to just disappear from her life altogether?”
“Whoa—I didn’t say that at all.” Connor reined in his impatience. “Maybe I could come by as a family friend now and then. We could do things together, with the boys, too. Eventually, we could work out shared custody—especially if and when one of us moves away from here.”
Erin paled.
“Look, I could take this to court and I would probably win, but I don’t want to fight you, Erin. For Lily’s sake, I want us to get along. Anything else would be unfair and frightening to her, don’t you think?”
“Will you tell her that you’re her father?”
“In time, when it’s right—but you’d be part of that decision, as well.”
“Then perhaps we can give this a shot.” Erin moved away from the window and paced the room, then turned back to face him. “I was so angry when Stephanie said you’d refused to acknowledge your own baby. I guess I finally, truly believe that she lied to me…and to her family. And to you.”
“I never would have denied my child, Erin.”
“Just promise me that you won’t overwhelm Lily with attention, or spoil her with too many gifts. I want her to value love and affection, not what people give her. And you have to be fair to the boys. It would be hard for them to see that she was the only child who mattered to you…especially if they came to like you a lot. Fair?”
“Fair enough.” He stood and offered his hand. “Deal?”
She shook his hand briefly. “Deal. But I warn you, Lily’s welfare is my only concern. If this doesn’t go well, you’ll need to face me in court before you have any further access to her.”
“Agreed, because she’s my daughter, too—my blood. I’ll fight for her if I have to.” He gave her a grim smile. “Believe me, I’ll plan on it.”
Veiled threats, promises of battle. Not the best beginning. But it would have to do.
FUMING, ERIN LUGGED the stacks of old files to the cabinet in the corner of her office and locked it securely, then jerked open the lower drawer of her desk and hauled out her purse and keys. I’ll plan on it, he’d said.
A threat that if Erin didn’t cooperate, he’d gladly take her to court, fight her for custody and quite probably win.
If Stephanie were still alive, Erin would have had a few choice words to say to her.
Except that given her late cousin’s mental illness, much of what she’d done had probably been out of her control—the addiction to alcohol, the lies, the furtive manipulations of other people’s lives. It was left to everyone else to pick up the pieces.
Erin grabbed a set of files from her desk and jammed them into her briefcase. Looked around for anything she’d forgotten, then pitched her PDA and cell phone into her purse. She gripped it tightly and bowed her head as she took a few deep breaths.
In all fairness, Connor was being incredibly civil about this. Many men might have been furious. Demanding. Some might have walked away from all responsibility. But the future now stretched out before Erin like a bottomless chasm. So many things could go wrong. He could change his mind. Lily could be confused, and upset.
She could even decide she only wanted to be with her father. The anxiety over that possibility had been gnawing at Erin’s stomach for days.
“Taking down the place, are we?” Jill sauntered in, her voice filled with laughter. “I could hear you clear down the hall. I thought there might be some carpenters in here ripping out the walls.”
“Just…in a hurry.” Erin met Jill’s amused gaze and collapsed in helpless giggles. “Or maybe venting, just a little.”
“I saw Connor Reynolds leave the building a few minutes ago, but I won’t ask. Never pry. Um…not my business.” She gave Erin a broad wink as she fluffed her long dark hair. “But that is one handsome guy.”
“Which goes to show that looks aren’t everything, right?” Erin snapped off her desk lamp and took one last look around her office. “I should add that that was a personal comment, and in no way related to his professional presence at this hospital.”
Jill laughed. “I gathered that. So, are you off to feed the kiddies?”
“Not nearly soon enough. My sitter must be chewing her nails by now. I try to get home at six, but that doesn’t always happen. How about you?”
“Definitely no kiddies. No husband tonight, either.” There was still humor in her eyes, but there was a note of loneliness in her voice. “He’s gone a lot at night. Clients…neighboring towns. Between his hours and mine, we have to check our planners to meet for dinner.”
“Want to join us for supper? Give me a half hour head start, and I can get something exciting started…if you like macaroni and cheese, omelets, or the all-time favorite, hamburgers.”
Jill pursed her lips as she looked up at the clock. “That’s the nicest invitation I’ve had all week. Let me follow you there so I don’t get lost, and you can put me to work.”
“IF THIS IS MORE COMPLEX than boiling water, I’m going to need some help here.” Jill ran a finger down a stained recipe card she’d laid on the counter in Erin’s kitchen. “Who makes biscuits from scratch these days, anyway? I thought they just came in a refrigerator tube.”
Laughing, Erin finished adding raw onions and a can of mushrooms to the butter in a cast-iron skillet on the stove, and nodded to Lily. “Dr. Jill is going to be your doctor here. Can you help her? You’re our best biscuit maker, bar none.”
Lily tucked her pale blond hair behind her ears and nodded. “What kind?”
“Garlic and cheese—with the butter melted on top,” Drew said as he headed out the back door with Scout on a leash. “Not something girlie.”
Jill met Erin’s eyes across the room. “Girlie?”
“We did lemon-cream muffins last time, with a sugary crust and a little twist of lemon rind on top.” Erin turned up the heat under the skillet, remembering Lily’s determination to make each one perfect. “They were a little dry, though, and his crumbled into his lap.”
“He said they were dumb and belonged at a stupid tea party.” Lily rolled her eyes. “But I think he was embarrassed ’cause he made a mess.”
Reaching for the flour canister, Jill
gave her a playful nudge. “Men can be pretty darn particular, can’t they?”
“Yeah.” Lily’s smile faded as she shot a quick, furtive glance at Erin. “I suppose.”
It wasn’t hard to guess that she was referring to Sam, who had certainly been distant and withdrawn during those last few months of marriage. Erin whisked a dozen eggs, then added cheddar cheese, milk and the sautéed vegetables, and poured the mixture over croutons spread out in a cake pan.
In minutes the casserole was baking in the oven, along with Lily and Jill’s biscuits. “Not a very fancy meal, I’m afraid. When I work late, I need to figure out something easy.”
“At my house, ‘easy’ is take-out pizza or leftovers.” Jill rinsed her hands in the sink. “This is a five-star restaurant by comparison.” After Lily disappeared into the back of the house, she lowered her voice. “And just having people around to talk to is such a treat. Have you ever noticed how the silence seems to echo in an empty house? You can sense that no one else is there. And in mine…”
“You live in that lovely Victorian up on Chapel Hill, right?”
Jill shivered. “Along with a few of the long-deceased inhabitants, I think. The floors creak. Little drafts swirl through and make the curtains rustle. Sometimes the place seems to settle in at night—probably just the cooler temperatures—and there’ll be a loud crack that wakes me right up.”
Erin paused on her way to the table with a stack of plates. “You think it’s haunted?”
“No…but when I’m alone there, it sometimes makes my mind wander. I think I just need to get a dog. Or maybe turn into a crazy lady with thirty cats.”
“Somehow,” Erin retorted, taking in Jill’s sleek air of sophistication, “I can’t quite picture you with a bunch of cats. An elegant Persian, maybe, and a graceful Afghan hound draped artistically across the sofa.”
“I’ll keep that in mind—though a nice old dog and cat from the animal shelter would probably be more my thing.” She reached for a carrot from a plate of relishes on the counter. “You’re lucky, you know? You’ve got all the divorce stuff behind you. You’re here, you’re settled, you’ve got the kids and one particularly amusing puppy. You’re all set to move ahead in your new life.”
Erin hesitated as she reached into the refrigerator for a gallon of milk. Grant had seemed like such a pleasant, levelheaded man, and the two of them seemed so well matched. “Are you…”
“Headed for divorce? It would certainly startle my mother, who always thought Grant was the perfect guy. I swear, if we separate, she’ll keep in touch with him and forget all about me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I don’t discuss my personal life around the hospital. Not with anyone, really.” Jill shrugged. “Funny, isn’t it? You find the right guy. Have the career you always wanted, the house of your dreams—even if it is a little spooky. And then out of the blue, you find that your world isn’t quite as perfect as you thought. He comes home late. Later. The conversations start to fade away. You become business partners who own a house together…and soon it’s barely that.”
“Or it’s a lot more sudden—and hits you like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky.” Erin moved to the table and started pouring milk. At a flash of movement in the living room doorway, she looked up to see Lily disappearing around the corner. “And for the kids, it’s even worse.”
“I can believe it.”
Erin put the jug back in the refrigerator. “Come out on the porch with me for a minute.”
They both stepped outside and stood at the railing to watch Drew and Tyler, who were in the clearing throwing a ball for Scout. The pup was a flurry of motion as he repeatedly raced across the field, his tongue lolling and tail wagging.
Drew whirled around and tackled Tyler and they went down in a laughing heap with Scout bouncing back and forth over them in an obvious bid for more attention.
“They look so happy, don’t they? Like normal kids. But Drew still hides a great deal of anger. Tyler is painfully shy, and still wets his bed. And Lily…ever since my divorce, she’s been even quieter than she was before. Unsure. I hope that someday they’ll call me Mom, but I wonder if that’s ever going to happen.”
“How long have you had them?”
“The boys about a year, and Lily half that.”
“Still not a lot of time if you consider what they may have been through before.”
Erin braced her hands on the railing and sighed. “I’m looking forward to the day when the kids can feel truly secure. We’d made such progress—and then my husband split and that hurt everyone.”
“It will come, in time. They’ve got you, they’ve got this great place to live, and they have a very exuberant puppy. They’re bound to make friends at school. What more could they ask?”
“I suppose you’re right….”
At the far end of the meadow, a golden lab sauntered out of the woods followed by a tall, broad-shouldered man. Even before he stepped from the shadows, Erin knew it was Connor, and her heart sank at the reminder of just how complicated her life had become.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ERIN WOULD HAVE PREFERRED to ignore him, but Jill peered at the figure at the far side of the meadow and gave a low, appreciative whistle.
“Interesting neighbors you’ve got up here. From what I can see—” she squinted, then a slow grin tipped up the corners of her mouth “—very interesting.”
“Believe me—it’s not what you think.”
Scout romped up to the white-muzzled old lab, crouched low and pounced, his tail wagging furiously. The boys stopped wrestling, looked over at the visitor, then scrambled to their feet and headed toward him.
Jill lifted a brow. “Looks pretty friendly to me. Does Reynolds stop in often?”
All too often, and I think it’s going to get worse. Erin managed a casual shrug as she watched Connor bend down to rub Scout behind the ears. “He’s our only neighbor, and he’s also our landlord.”
Jill pursed her lips. “Maybe I should just skedaddle. You and Doc could have a nice romantic evening—”
“No. I mean, he must be stopping by for…well, maybe to borrow something.” Erin felt her cheeks warm at the knowing expression in Jill’s eyes. “The last thing I’m looking for is any sort of relationship right now. It would be a big mistake. Very big.”
One of the boys must have said something to him, because Connor tipped back his head and laughed.
“How big could it be? The guy seems to like kids. He’s got a nice sense of humor. He has a job. Sounds like a winner to me.”
“Only if a person is looking.”
They stood on the porch and watched him step back and send the ball into a high, clean arc.
Scout and Maisie flew after it. Scout stumbled over a rough patch of ground and tumbled head over heels. By the time he scrambled to his feet, Maisie had nosed the ball out of a tall patch of goldenrod and started trotting back to Connor, clearly pleased with herself.
The kitchen stove timer buzzed. Jill glanced at Erin, her eyes full of the devil as she held open the cabin door for them both to go back inside. “That big casserole isn’t going to heat up well for leftovers.”
“Then we can all eat doubles. Triples.”
“And,” Jill continued blithely, “you know he’d probably welcome the invitation.”
On the verge of explaining the entire situation, Erin hesitated, then changed her mind.
If Connor didn’t follow through well on his daddy role and later chose to leave the area, would people question her about him in the future, and make her feel even more abandoned? The uncertain, complex situation made Erin’s temples start to throb.
“You’re right,” she said finally, after she checked the casserole and biscuits in the oven and reset the timer for another five minutes. “I’ll go ask him to stay. But please—don’t read anything more into this than there is. He’s not here to flirt, believe me.”
“Not a word. I swear.”
Jill tapped her lips with a forefinger. “The last thing you want is a buzz of gossip floating around the hospital. And in a town this size, that can happen mighty fast.”
Giving her a nod of thanks, Erin went out on the porch to call the boys for supper—and found Connor and them just beyond the porch, where Drew was hooking Scout up to his chain.
“Supper’s ready.” She managed a smile for Connor. “You’re welcome to join us if you’d like to. Jill Edwards is here, too.”
“I’m sorry. Maisie and I were out walking, so we stopped by.” He gave her a wry smile. “I don’t want to interrupt your plans.”
“No…it’s fine. Really.” She swallowed hard. “What better time to start than now?”
Drew’s suspicious gaze ricocheted between them both. “Start what?”
“Being friends.”
Though being friends was not going to be an easy thing—not when the mere sound of Connor’s voice had the power to make her insides warm, and when just meeting his gaze made her feel giddy.
Jill and Connor chatted easily about hospital policy as Erin set the casserole on a trivet in the center of the table and put the hot, buttery biscuits in a basket lined with a red linen napkin.
“All set, everyone?” she called out.
Drew and Tyler thundered to the table and took their places with a screech of chairs against the oak flooring. Lily joined them, her eyes downcast—feeling shy, probably, given the additional two adults at the table.
Erin stood behind Lily to rest her hands on the child’s shoulders as they said grace, then gave her an extra little squeeze before taking her own place.
The phone rang the moment she sat down. “I’ll just let the answering machine get it,” she said with a wave of her hand.
But from across the table, she saw Drew glance anxiously toward the phone before dropping his gaze to his lap, and warning bells started tolling in her mind to the exact rhythm of the telephone’s rings. Not again.
“On second thought, maybe I’d better check this call, in case it’s someone from the hospital.” She made it to the phone at the far end of the kitchen just after the answering machine kicked in. Instead of picking up the receiver, she turned the volume down low and listened to the caller’s message.
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