Little Petty Notions

by Rae Shawn

  She’d wore some of the shortest yoga shorts I'd seen on her. I had to remind myself to behave. She couldn’t help but smile when I pulled the car seat into view.

  “I had some free time, so I went to find this for you. D told me how the other one got destroyed in the crash,” I said after putting it in her room. We took a seat on the couch in the upstairs living room. “I asked a friend, and she said this is state-of-the-art and top-of-the-line.”

  “Thank you, Mellow. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.” She said turning her body toward me.

  “I wanted to.”

  We talked for a bit before I had to go back to work for one last client and a rundown for the week.

  At the end of the day I went to get in my car. As I put the key in the ignition, Demontré called. He had his plans for my revamped waiting room ready. I told him I'd come over. When I got to the house, he was standing in the garage staring at something.

  "What's up, D?" I called as I approached. He turned toward me with a look of confusion. I saw what he had been focused on. It was an easel with what used to be a canvas sitting on it.

  "What the hell happened to that?" I asked. He shrugged as he shook his head.

  "Dawg, I rolled up and saw it as I entered the garage. It smelled weird as hell in here and that," He motioned toward the easel. "Whatever that used to be ain't what it is now."

  "Is Jada here?"

  "I haven't been inside yet, but I think so."

  We walked through the garage door to meet a deafening silence.

  "Maybe she isn't here." Demontré said.

  "Or she's sleep." I suggested.

  "Maybe. Go check upstairs will ya,” He said moving toward the front door. "She might've took Jaiden for a walk. I’ll call her."

  When I got to the top of the stairs, the intense smell of her favorite bath soap hit me like a brick wall. I didn't see either of them in the living room and only Jaiden was on the bed in the room when I peaked my head inside. She had to be in the tub.

  I looked to the ceiling and took a breath. The last thing I could deal with was the knowledge that she's naked on the other side of that door. My dick twitched at the thought. Fuck. I shook my head and knocked softly on the door, trying not to wake Jaiden.

  She didn't answer, so I tapped the door again. After a beat, I pushed the door open, her name on my lips. All the oxygen I could pull into my lungs through my nose wouldn't be enough. I could see the shadow of her body underneath the bubbles.

  I went to rush forward as her head broke the surface. I let out a sigh of relief. When she turned toward me, her eyes became slits. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

  I bit my lip and looked away from the rapidly popping bubbles. She had to know how damn sexy she looked right now. Focus.

  “Umm, Demontré and I were looking for you. He called you and I heard your phone vibrate, so I knew you were here. He went outside to check if you were walking up the street. I smelled the rose and lavender when I came up, so I figured you were in here,” I said. “I didn’t see you in the room with Jaiden. When you didn’t answer I pushed the door open a little to see if you had fallen asleep or had headphones in.”

  “I didn’t,” She snapped. “You found me, now you can leave.”

  “Hey, is Jada in here? Woah,” Demontré said and turned around after spotting her in the tub. “My bad, baby girl. I’ma just-I’ma umm, I’ll be downstairs.”

  She looked like she wanted to laugh, but instead she turned her eyes from his fleeing figure to me as I leaned against the counter and pushed the door up to a crack.

  “You can join him downstairs Mikal.” She reached for the towel on the small table near the tub.

  “I actually have a moment to talk to you where you can’t run away,” I smirked and I could see she was considering my murder in her head. “I think I’ll stay for a bit longer.”

  “Haven’t we had the talk we needed to have? Aren’t we cool or whatever again?” She asked tossing the towel back to the table.

  “Yeah, we had a pretty good conversation regarding everything back then, but I have two more questions.” I said.

  She shifted in the tub and I couldn't help tracing the edge of the water and the few remaining bubbles before returning my eyes to hers.

  “Would you go on and ask your little questions?”

  She had warmed up to me, but now the air between us could’ve froze me to death. Not sure what I did wrong, but I needed to say this while I had the nerve.

  “You were the first real relationship I had in college,” Her face contorted. “I know that’s hard to imagine, but I wasn’t interested in anybody until I saw you in class that first day. Then I got lucky enough to keep running into you and grab your attention.”

  “I know there’s a point you’re working toward, wanna get to it a little faster? The water is getting cold.”

  She really wanted to make this harder than it already was. I shook my head slightly. Maybe it wasn't me at all, but something was bothering her. I’d ask her about it, but after I finished what I needed to say.

  “Fine,” I said. “First I want to tell you that my leg still bothers me. I have to do a therapy regimen every day. When I first ran into you, I screwed up for about a week after and I've been dealing with shooting pains and stiffness ever since. Now that I'm back on track, the pain is decreasing, but you distract me.”

  She stared at me, her mouth slightly open and her eyebrows drawn down.

  “Everything about you distracts me and I don't mind it one bit. If the pain in my leg is anything like what I caused you when I left, then I'd happily deal with it the rest of my life because it's what I deserve."

  I readjusted on the edge of the seat.

  "What I wanted to ask is a hypothetical question," She nodded. "If I stayed – had I not left right before Christmas – would we have ... stayed together?”

  “I suppose we probably would have. We were still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. We were friends for a year before we officially started dating,” she said, leaning against the side of the tub. “We messed around and you spent most of your free time with me, which wasn’t much since you had practice and training in the off-season, then football in the fall.”

  “You came to my games and to practices sometimes, too, don’t front.”

  “Don’t interrupt,” I smiled. She rolled her eyes. “As I was saying ... we would’ve been able to learn more about each other, and we would have either gotten closer or grew apart. I don’t really know for sure, but we could have been something for sometime. Hypothetically, of course.”

  “Okay, alright,” I rubbed my hands together. She looked at me suspiciously. “So, if we stayed together, hypothetically of course, we could’ve still been together today, right? So, do you think Jaiden would’ve been our daughter, and we would’ve gotten married?”

  She launched into a standing position. “What?”

  I tried very hard not to follow the water as it rolled down her body. Tried, but I failed. Miserably. She sank back into the tub, but the remaining bubbles were all but gone. I moved to the edge of the tub and took the hand that was resting there. She stared at me, wide-eyed.

  “You know we worked, JJ. You know we would have lasted, but I screwed it up. I hurt you. I left,” I felt her tense. “I fell for you back then and I haven't gotten you off my mind for the damn near decade. Probably explains why no relationship I tried since you worked. They weren’t you. Even when your sister tried coming on to me a couple of times a while back, I wasn’t interested. She ain’t you.”

  Her mouth tightened and her eyes darkened.

  “She’s cool people, but again I say, she’s not you. I didn’t know y’all were sisters until she said something when we were all in her house, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want you and only you. Always have.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “Can we get serious for a minute?”

  "Everything you just said wasn't
serious enough?"

  I tilted my head and she mirrored my action. It's now or never. “I want to give us another try. Nothing rushed, just get to know each other and see if we work well together like I think we do. I adore you, always have. I’ll treat you like the queen you are and you’ll never be unhappy because of me again.”

  Her eyes looked to the door then returned to mine. She was trying to figure out how to escape.

  “I also believe your daughter is one of the most beautiful creatures in existence and I’ll treat her like the developing little girl that she is. She will grow and know how a man should treat her. She will have two loving people in her life that care about her more than anything else. I am not trying to replace her father, but I believe she needs someone who cares about her enough to show her how a woman should be treated and that woman I want to treat is you.”

  Her lip trembled, and she remained silent for a long time. “I-I can’t.”

  “I know what you’re thinking,” I said. “I would never do anything to cause Jaiden any harm. I know she basically lost her dad, and doesn’t fully understand what’s going on there. I know you well enough to know you love deep and hard. You want to protect her from heartbreak and inconsistency. If you accept me, I will be the rock you deserve and the support she needs. I will love you both, wholly and deeply.”

  She looked at me as if she could see my soul. “I want to believe you, but you left me once before, Tra’Mel. I can’t let Jaiden get attached to you then you decide it's too much and leave. I could barely deal with it. She’s a kid, a baby. I won’t put her through her first heartbreak.”

  “I understand, I do. Take the time you need to think about it,” I said. “Even if you don’t want me like that. I’d be content being your friend. It’ll hurt like hell and be hard to see you eventually end up with another man, but I want you to be happy. I’ll be glad to stay in your life at all. I’m not going anywhere. Not this time. I guarantee you that.”

  A tear escaped her eye, so I reached up to wipe it away. She leaned into the palm of my hand before pulling away.

  “I need some time,” She looked down. “Can I have some time?”

  I used my index finger to lift her chin, bringing her eyes back to mine. I knew everything I just dropped on her was heavy, so I needed to lighten the mood.

  “All the time you need. Don’t take too long, though. I’m quite the catch.” I winked.

  She slapped my arm. I chuckled and went to kiss her cheek, but she turned toward me and our lips met. What should have been sweet and short, quickly deepened. She began to stand, so I rose at the same pace, finding her hip as she pressed her body against mine.

  I wrapped an arm around her waist and grabbed the back of one thigh as I lifted her out of the tub. I knew I should have pulled away, but I couldn't stop myself and apparently neither could she. When my back hit the wall, she seductively walked the two steps to reach me.

  I captured her lips again as she undid my belt and the button of my pants popped loose. As her hand slid into my waistband, and she gripped me. I considered stopping her so I could get to the goal I had been thinking about since I walked in this room.

  When she massaged me and moved her lips down my neck, I let her do what she wanted. My head resting against the wall, eyes screwed shut. I sucked a breath in as she pushed my pants and boxer briefs down my hips.

  "This isn't exactly what I thought you meant when you said you needed to think about it."

  "Shut up before I change my mind."

  I looked down at her as she sank to her knees in front of me. I never let her suck me off because I didn't want her to think I required it if I ate her out. Right now, her like this was the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Her hand pumped me once, twice, three times. I grunted and placed my hands to her shoulders.

  When her tongue swirled around the tip as she continued to slide her hand against me, I nearly came from how fucking erotic she looked.

  “Mommy?” I heard Jaiden’s soft voice.

  We both froze. Her eyes went wild and she snatched the towel from the table behind her. I worked to pull my pants up as she moved to the slow opening door.

  She dropped to her haunches and kept Jaiden from entering the room. I continued fastening my pants as quickly as I could, given they were damp from her being pressed against me.

  “Mommy?” Jaiden said in question again.

  I couldn't help chuckling. It wasn't like I could run if Jaiden came in, but I could at least be decent. Jada shot me a look and reached a hand toward Jaiden on the other side of the door.

  “Bath time mommy?”

  “Yes, mamas. Mommy had bath time, but I’m all done now. You want to watch a movie or something? Uncle Demontré’s here.” I guessed that Jaiden nodded. “Okay, baby girl. Go downstairs, carefully like I showed you, and knock on his door. I’m going to put on some clothes, then I’ll come help you convince him to watch something with us, okay?”

  She stood and turned around to look at me, noticing my clothes were wet and frumpy.

  “That’s going to be fun to explain.” She shook her head.

  13

  Jada

  I closed the door to the bedroom and made Tra’Mel go downstairs otherwise I would have rectified this longing between my thighs. I tossed on a pair of shorts I had cut from old sweats, and an off-the-shoulder college sweater I’d cut into a crop top.

  Because the top was relatively short, I put on a sports bra, but didn’t bother with underwear – too much work. I pulled my hair into a bun after combing through it – putting some curl protectant on it and brushing it – and hoped it could last until later where I could give it proper treatment. When I got downstairs, Demontré was eyeing Tra’Mel’s damp clothes with a half-smile before he turned serious.

  “Jada, did you leave the garage open a little?”

  “Yeah, didn’t want the paint smell to engulf the space, so I left it to air out,” I said. “The paint dries evenly with proper air flow.”

  “Well, umm. I think someone or something got inside because your painting looks messed up.”

  I turned on my heel and jogged to the garage. The light was on inside and I hadn’t left it like that. Maybe Demontré did when he got here. I walked over to the easel and it looked like the person was falling apart. Pieces of canvas laid in heaps on the concrete. I noted the chemical stain on the ground, my seat and around the easel.

  After Mel left earlier today, I painted for a little while, then took Jada to the park and the playground. I left everything shut and locked while we were gone. When we got back, I cracked the garage, then went to take my bath.

  This painting looked nothing like I left it. I’d just started defining the facial structure, matching the painting to the realness of an actual woman. I couldn’t believe the only thing remaining was a brown and gold blob. Jaiden started toward me, but I put a hand up.

  “Chemicals, mamas. Stay with Uncle D.” I said, and stared at the mess a beat longer.

  I didn’t know how, but someone got in and did this, it wasn’t an animal. We’d see it dead nearby. My fists balled, but I couldn’t do anything about it now. I’d worry about it after I had time to think. To calm.

  I turned toward the door, telling them to step back inside. I hit the switch on the wall, turning the light off and closing the garage, and maneuvered around them to go upstairs. I needed a drink. I could still manage Jaiden with a glass of wine.

  "Come on mamas." I stopped at the bottom step. Tra’Mel picked her up before walking toward me. I looked at them, Jaiden was cozy and comfortable in his grasp. I shook my head slightly before taking the steps two at a time.

  As I poured a glass of wine, I looked to Demontré. He shook his head and went to grab a beer. I looked to Tra'Mel, who I would rather fuck to get rid of this stress. Since I wouldn't do that with Jaiden awake and in need of attention, I'd focus on this wine in front of me.

  Tra'Mel nodded his head, so I grabbed another glass and poured him some. Befo
re I could grab apple juice for Jaiden, Demontré poured her a cup.

  "Thanks, Monteé."

  He cut his eyes at me, but a small smile crossed his lips as he nodded. With a sigh I walked to grab the remote. I knew I should email my client regarding the painting because I probably wasn't going to finish it by the promised date, but I needed the rest of the day to think.

  “So, umm. What movie are we watching?” Demontré asked, eyeing Tra’Mel like they were gauging my mindset. “Knock-Knock, I’m wet?”

  A joke, he tried a joke.

  I glared at him, but both men broke into a wild laugh. Tra’Mel sat Jaiden down, and she went over to the play mat near the corner of the sectional. Demontré handed her the cup of juice, and she took a sip before carefully sitting it in front of her.

  “No, butthole,” I did my best not to use swear words in front of her. “Jaiden likes to watch Never Rush Sugar. That baking show.”

  Demontré and Tra’Mel looked at each other and shook their heads.

  “How about Princesse et la Grenouille?” Tra’Mel asked.

  I looked at him as my lips pulled to the side. First he started back in on Kouri-Vini, now he’s speaking French too. Every single time he said something in another language, I mentally humped his ass. He knew where my mind went, so he was messing with me. I licked my lips, and he masked a smile by taking a sip from his glass.

  Right now, his drawl and that language would have me dragging his ass in my room while Jaiden watched this movie with Demontré because I more than wanted to finish what was started. Instead, I bit the inside of my lip and turned to Jaiden, focusing on her.

  “Want to watch Princess and the Frog, mamas?” She nodded and I turned it on, plopping down on the couch next to her. I needed to keep a physical reminder of who I should be focused on as close to me as I could.

  Demontré went to start dinner and Tra’Mel found himself a cozy spot on the recliner opposite of me. He kept his distance which both annoyed and impressed me. I could use this time to think, and he knew him being near did not allow me that luxury.