by Rae Shawn
"Tra'Mel, why are you playing like you don't want me?"
“I told you already,” I said. “There’s nothing between us.”
“Kiss me, then.” D'Nae said.
She got her hands free, grabbed my face and pulled me down to her. I pushed her back enough that she wasn’t touching me anymore. She pouted and I had to find my calm.
“What the fuck, Nae? I love your sister. I always have, even before I met you. We were friends, you and I, nothing more. You need to go. I'm call a ride for you,” I took another step back. “You need to start looking for another job. This ain’t alright. I’m not dealing with it anymore.”
"What? Are you serious? She has nothing on me. What the hell is wrong with you?"
She reached for me again and I stopped her.
“Stop. You need to leave Nae.” I said.
“Why?” she asked.
“You know this is wrong and Jada is here.” I said.
“Correction,” Jada's voice boomed from behind us. “Jada is leaving.”
D’Nae snatched her hands from mine. Jada shook her head at us before grabbing her shoes and walking out the door.
“Jada, wait.” I tried to stop her, but I didn't want to grab her or Jaiden who was half-sleep in her arms.
“Nah, I’m good. I should’ve known better, but I didn’t listen to my head,” She paused for a second, then continued. “D’Nae, I’m done with yo ass, too. Y’all have a nice night.”
A car pulled up to the curb. I stopped inches from her as she sat Jaiden in the car after verifying it was her ride.
“Mô lamou,” I pleaded, but she got in before closing the door, throwing one last look at me before the car pulled off.
I watched the vehicle retreat until it turned the corner. D'Nae walking up behind me.
"I'm still here, baby."
I removed her hands from me and started back toward the house.
"You have one week to find another job, after that, you're on your own."
18
Jada
My phone rang in my purse as the Lyft drove down the road. When I looked at it, I saw Raiden's name. He couldn't have worse timing. I looked at Jaiden, who had fallen asleep back against my side, and answered the phone.
“What?”
“Is that how you answer your phone now?”
“It’s the middle of the night, Raiden. How in the fucking world do you expect me to answer? What do you want?”
“I’ve been calling for hours, why weren’t you answering me?”
“Last time I checked, we aren’t together. I don’t have to give you details of my whereabouts or anything.”
“I want to talk to my daughter.”
“Our daughter is asleep. She’s been that way for quite some time.”
“I called you early enough to speak to her.”
I took a calming breath before looking at my call log and doing the mental math of the time difference. I glanced at my driver, and he respectfully acted as if he couldn't hear my conversation.
“Looks like you called after getting some pussy for the night. It was 7:49 p.m. here. We were having dinner.”
“You need to answer when I call.”
“Raiden, get off my phone. I have better things to do than to argue with you in the middle of the night over some bullshit. I don’t need to do anything, but what I want.”
“Where’s my daughter?” He raised his voice. “While you out hoeing around, who has my child?”
I sucked in a breath, working very hard to remain calm. “Our daughter is with me and if I were hoeing around, it wouldn’t be too far off base, since you did it for the majority of our fucking relationship. Goodbye.”
“Do not-” I hung up before he could finish his statement. Two fuck nuts tonight was more than enough. I put all of them on do not disturb, then apologized to my driver.
"Tonight can be rough for some people. I'm sorry you happen to be one of them.” He said.
"Thanks, I'll be quiet now,” I groaned. “You've had enough drama in our short time to keep you entertained."
"No need. If you want to talk, about anything, I'm here for you." He said.
I brought up the first thing I could think of. We started talking about music and how he ended up in San Francisco. Turned out his boyfriend moved here, and he came with him. They both worked random jobs doing random hours, so they had a nice dinner last night, then both went out to make some money after that.
When I made it to Demontré’s, I was numb. The situation with Tra'Mel gutted me worse than when he left me in my dorm room. My sister being involved didn’t help my mindset. I told her I liked him, that we used to be a thing and that feelings were there again. She knew we had a date and had been spending time together, yet and still that messy shit happened.
I heard bits and pieces of their conversation. He said nothing was between us, then he kissed her. Like how he gon' tell me all that stuff over the past month, then turn around and do that?
I should have just did what I said I would, stay focused on myself and my daughter, but I let him get under my skin, quite literally. Then I had Raiden and his nonsense. He called 26 times in the past seven hours.
I had no time to fuck with any of them anymore. I’d take Jaiden to see her father because that was the agreement made in litigation, but I didn’t need to talk to him outside of that, especially after his hoe comment.
I damn sure didn’t need to talk to my trifling ass sister nor my ex-boyfriend who claimed to care so much about me. I was back on my grind. It would be me and my baby girl until the end of time. I changed Jaiden into pajamas once we made it upstairs, then I hopped in the shower.
It was a little after five o’clock when Demontré opened the garage door because the light was on. I didn’t even realize his car was parked next to me. I’d been so zoned out.
“Didn’t expect to see you here.” he said. He had on pajama bottoms, so he probably was here when I arrived.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Nah. I got home like 15 minutes ago, I think you were in the shower. Your body wash is strong right after you get out and the scent is all over the hall. It wafted into my room, so I knew you were down here somewhere. I came to check on you.”
I nodded. “Strike out tonight?”
He walked into the garage and leaned against the wall near the door.
“I never stay at her place and that didn’t seem to change tonight. I think she’s married. I’ma have to cut her loose if so,” He kicked off the wall. “Something eating ya?”
“You have no idea,” I sighed and sat my paintbrush down. “I can’t focus on this.”
“Coffee?”
“Yeah, that would be great.”
I followed him upstairs and grabbed my laptop from the dining room table before walking back to the living room downstairs. I started looking up new vehicles. Even though I was mad at Tra'Mel, his sister had given him that list for me. I needed to commit to a decision on something, and do it soon. The first one I looked at was the one I had considered after initially looking over the list.
“You came in late," Demontré said. "You guys out all night or-”
“He’s messing with my sister.”
Demontré sat my mug on the coffee table before turning the look at me.
“I’m sorry, think I heard you wrong.”
“Nah, you heard right. He’s. Messing. With. My. Sister,” I sat the computer on the couch next to me as Demontré took his seat. “They both knew Raiden cheated. Knew I was still recovering from that shit. She knew I was feeling him, and yeah I could tell she had something for him, but he swore nothing was happening. She said there was nothing to worry about, then I catch them chopping it up and bout to get it on in his living room.”
“Baby girl, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but your sister is the friendly neighborhood train stop,” I snorted. She definitely something stank. “I don’t think Tra’Mel is messing with her. I think she’s be
ing her normal hoe self.”
I didn’t want to hear excuses for Tra’Mel.
“No offense, but you’re like his friend or something. Bro code says stick up for yo boy. He’s a former NFL player, he can get anybody he wants, especially with his charming personality and good looks," I rolled my eyes. "Guess he wanted two sisters in one night. That’s fine, whatever. I’m good.”
I leaned forward to grab my cup of coffee. Demontré stopped my hand and I looked at him like he’d lost his mind.
“Jada Jean’e Lorenzo you listen to me,” he said, still holding my hand. “First off, you are my best friend. Ain’t nobody coming before you. Second, that man would have to be out of his fucking mind to mess up another chance with you. Your sister is messy. She’s destroyed two marriages and another relationship since she moved up here. I didn’t want to bad mouth her to you, but this is what she does and if I remember correctly she’s came at him once or twice before. He adores you. He's been trying to figure out how to win your affection. He wouldn't mess that up.”
I pulled my arm from him, and he shook his head.
“He told her there was nothing between us, Monteé. Then he kissed her. Plus, how would you know how he feels?”
“Did you hear what she said before he said that? Did you see him kiss her?”
I looked away from him. “Well, no.”
He turned my chin so I had to look at him. My eyes looked toward the ceiling.
“How do you know he was talking about y’all and not them?” I didn’t respond, so he pressed on. “You fucked him, that's why you in yo feels ain't it?”
I punched him and got to my feet to walk away, but he caught my arm. “Seriously, did y’all sleep together?”
I sighed, but didn’t respond.
“Okay, so you know that’s why you big mad, right? You hear something out of context and see something without knowing who did what,” He pulled me to sit back down before putting his arm around my shoulder and squeezing me into his side. “I get it. I’d be mad too, but talk to him. At least give him a chance to tell you his version of what happened.”
“I don’t want a version. I don’t need to hear he said, she said," I whined. "I feel like I’m setting myself up for heartbreak. I have a daughter to protect, a dumb ass ex-fiance to deal with and a career to maintain. I need to keep my lil mamas from getting hurt, even if I already did. The rest, I can handle.”
“No offense, but fuck Jaiden,” I turned to look at him. “This has everything to do with you and nothing to do with her. I love that little girl and I love you too, but you'd rather give up a chance at being happy because Raiden is an ain't shit dude. Unfortunately, you have to deal with him in some capacity until Jaiden is 18, but he's a non-fucking-factor. If you love Tra'Mel, and trust me I know you do. I know you better than you know yourself. You need to at least talk to him and find out what really went down.”
“Did you just say fuck my daughter?”
“I said no offense first,” He pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. I pushed him away, and he gave me puppy dog eyes. “Don't act like you didn't hear the rest of what I said. Talk to Tra'Mel. You were happy with him before. You were happy with him now. If he’s indeed dogging you, like I said before, I’ll beat his ass for you. I still know where to aim first – that fucked up leg.”
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “If he messing with her or any other female, I get first dibs on whooping his ass.”
He playfully punched my jaw. “That’s my girl.”
19
Jada
About two weeks later, Demontré drove me to pick up my new SUV. I’d been focused on myself and my daughter and nothing more. Jaiden was super excited when she saw the one I’d chosen. She called it her royal carriage because it was cream-colored and looked “xotid” to her. It took a lot not to laugh at the woman’s face at the dealership when she tried to figure out what “xotid” meant.
When I told her she said exotic, her eyes grew big and Demontré did all the laughing for the both of us.
The woman might’ve said something to him if he wasn’t so attractive, instead she cut her eyes at him and feigned annoyance as she looked him over. I gave her a look, and she shrugged discreetly before grinning.
I smiled and shook my head. “Have at it girl.”
“Have at what?” Demontré asked, then it was our turn to laugh. She put the paperwork in the glove compartment, took a photo of Jaiden and I standing in front of the SUV, slipped D her card, then we headed out.
When we got back to the house, I saw Tra’Mel seated on the porch. Demontré pulled into the garage and I parked on the street. We were leaving for the airport soon, so I wanted to be able to just pull off. I got out and went to grab Jaiden from the backseat as Demontré emerged from the garage to talk to Tra’Mel before they both walked into the house. Jaiden stopped at the gate to go into the little yard and I opened it so she could play for a while.
I had nothing rushing me to go in the house, but after a few minutes Demontré came outside and told me to go talk to Tra’Mel. I still hadn’t done that. I blocked his number, and he’d been smart enough not to come over.
I didn’t want to talk to him, and I was positive he knew it, but Demontré essentially replaced me, grabbing Jaiden’s attention, who was happy to play with him instead.
I huffed out a breath before getting to my feet. When I walked up the steps, I passed Tra'Mel and made my way upstairs. By the time he reached the top step, I’d sat at the island and began drinking a glass of water.
“Okay, look,” He stopped on the opposite side of the peninsula. “Will you let me tell you what happened?”
“Are you being short and impatient with me when you’re the one in the wrong?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“May I have the opportunity to tell you what happened that night?” he tried again.
I finished my glass of water, then went to sit on the couch. I looked at the empty recliner on the opposite side of the room, and he sighed before taking a seat in it. After a deep breath, he started.
“I woke up in the middle of the night, after we ... umm, you know. I went to take a shower because I usually start my day early, and since I said I wouldn't fall out of routine for my recovery, I was staying on track. When I was about to start the shower, I got a call from D’Nae.”
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, leaning further into the couch. I pushed my sandals off and propped my feet one on top of the other on the ottoman in front of me.
“I wasn’t sure if something was wrong, so I answered. She said she was out front and needed to talk. I was confused, but went to see what was wrong.”
“At 4 a.m.?” I literally laughed. “You were shirtless and in sweats. That’s how you talk to your employees?”
“I was about to get in the shower. I’d been naked when she called. I had been considering waking you up to get in the shower with me. When she said she was out front, I pulled on some sweats and went to see why she was there. Plus, you know she was a friend, too.” I started rocking my foot back and forth.
“When I opened the door, she stumbled inside and said she was sick of waiting. She said you weren’t going to get me before she had. She had it in her head that nothing was going on between us. Li fòl. I've literally told her that I am in love with you. I told her we were sort of seeing each other and getting closer. I told her that before that night, Jada.”
“Mhm.”
“I told her more than once, but I guess it wasn’t getting through her brain, or she just didn't care. She asked what about ‘us,’ like me and her, and I told her there was nothing between her and I. I’d said that to her before, too. She even stopped approaching me, so I thought everything was cool, until showed up that night, everything.”
He shifted on the couch and let a breath out. He was getting emotional and it made his words jumble again.
“She launched herself at me and kissed me, you walked in about a minute later. I was trying to get her
to leave, to go home, but I don't know, mô lamou. After you left, I told her she needed to find a new job. That whole situation was unprofessional regardless of what's happening between us. I haven't heard from her or seen her since. She packed up and was on out the facility by the end of that week.”
“If she was coming on to you and acting out, why didn’t you come get me? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You think that would have helped the situation? I told her you were there, she didn’t care. I’d said something to her before, she acted like it was fine, but there she was that night. She tried to pull my sweats off, and I kept having to stop her hands. I offered and attempted to call her a Lyft, but she kissed me. When I got her off me, you came down the hall fully dressed, looking like the Human Torch.”
I rolled my eyes. I believed him, but didn’t want to. It would be easier to be done with him and her. I knew I'd fallen in love with him again, which was why this hurt so much. I didn’t want to feel. Everything Demontré said about Nae made sense, too. I just don't think I can deal with it right now. I have to go deal with Raiden. This would have to wait.
I needed more time to think. I heard Demontré coming up the stairs, and when he appeared carrying a sniffling Jaiden. I hopped to my feet.
“What happened?”
“We were running around, and she banged into the gate. She’s fine, just a scrape on her cheek. She’s a tough girl, ain’t that right J.R.?” Demontré high-fived her and she wiped her tears away.
“I’m fine, mommy.” He put her down and she walked over to me. “I fine, see.” she smiled and I hugged her.
“Hi, Ta’Mel.” She turned and ran over to him.
He picked her up, but looked at me checking if it were okay. I sighed and nodded. I didn’t know what I would do if I chose to cut him off. Jaiden liked him. I know he said he would be content being my friend, but I wouldn’t. I’d completely have to avoid ever seeing him again.
Watching him squeeze her into a hug and her responding laugh melted some of my resolve. When he sat her down, she walked over to play with her toys.