by Amira Rain
I typed out a brief response, telling Amy I was so happy for her, which I really was, ending the message with two hearts. After sending it, I thought for a few moments and then sent another, feeling the need to vent.
I’m not having quite as good a time here. In fact, instead of falling in love with him, I’m finding Matt to be a complete insufferable asshole. He’s mad because I’m not ugly. I’ve already literally punched him in the abs and chest at least thirty or forty different times. This was because he TOLD me to, and then when I did, he LAUGHED at me.
I’m only not heading back to Moxon right this second because I think that his dogs, particularly Charlie, could use a kind, loving presence in the home for a little while. Lord knows Matt isn’t very loving toward them. He said Charlie is “mentally challenged,” numerous times, when Charlie was RIGHT THERE in the room. I just pray to God that Charlie couldn’t understand him. Oh, and as to what we’re doing for dinner, Matt suggested that I have some leftover pizza. ALONE. I’ll be heating it up myself, too. Yes, Matt’s a real charmer.
Only after I’d hit send did it occur to me that my venting might possibly bring down the mood of Amy’s nice romantic dinner. Immediately, I typed out another text. Sorry. I’m definitely not meaning to be a downer. We can talk more later. Enjoy your dinner with Mack.
After pocketing my phone, I set about fixing my own dinner, although I took out two plates, and put enough leftover pizza and wings in the oven for two people. I’d decided that I wanted to find out why Matt had stated so adamantly that he didn’t want to fall in love, and I was now determined to find out over dinner.
CHAPTER EIGHT
While the pizza and wings warmed in the oven, I rummaged through the fridge to find some greens for a salad, coming up with only a fairly wilted half-head of iceberg lettuce, a small Roma tomato, and five thin cucumber slices in plastic wrap.
Shutting the fridge door with my very small bounty in my hands, I looked at Charlie, who’d become my ever-present friend, never more than a foot or two away from me at all times. “Well, buddy, we’ll just have to make do with what we have, won’t we?”
He barked once, as if to say, “Right!”
Once again impressed by his intelligence, I smiled at him and told him he was a smart boy.
Once I’d chopped the lettuce, cut the tomato into wedges, and assembled the small salad in a serving bowl, I set the table in the dining room, then let Charlie and Shadow outside, where the snowstorm was reaching near-whiteout proportions. A blur of shadowy-black, although really more grayish than anything with snow on his dark coat, Shadow ran around briefly, used the bathroom by one of the many tall pines in the side yard, and then came obediently zipping back toward me. I hadn’t even had to call him.
Charlie, however, hadn’t even begun to use the bathroom by this time. Alternately barking and whining with joy, making it somehow sound like he was laughing, he was racing across the front yard at top speed, from west to east, and then back again, with his golden coat glimmering in the floodlights that illuminated the front yard.
Several snow-covered fallen branches in the yard and large ornamental rocks lining the sides of the front walkway served to make an obstacle course of sorts for him, and he leaped over the various objects, kicking up clouds of icy white powder behind him. Panting by my side, Shadow just watched him, seemingly content to simply be an observer of the fun.
After a few minutes, Charlie’s fun devolved into something more akin to mayhem. First, he took a break from his obstacle course, but instead of resting, he began leaping straight into the air, jaws snapping, appearing to be trying to “eat” the snow. Shadow began glancing from him to me, as if wondering if I was going to allow all this wild “snow-eating” to continue, but I did.
For a little while anyway. At least until I became a bit genuinely concerned that Charlie’s nonstop frenzied jumping might actually give him a heart attack or something. Honestly, I’d never seen a dog just generally “freaking out” so much about snow, or anything else, ever.
At this point, I called out for Charlie to go to the bathroom and come inside. He abruptly stopped his jumping and “snow-eating,” and turned his head to look at me, lungs heaving and breath making clouds in the frosty air.
“That’s right, Charlie. We’re all done jumping. Now, go potty and come on in.”
He just continued looking at me for a long moment or two, still panting, and suddenly, I just knew what he was going to do. And not a blink later, he did it, launching himself into the air to “eat” the snow once again.
I let him go on for another minute or two before telling him it was really time to go in. Dressed in only jeans, a thin sweater, and a coat, no hat or gloves because I hadn’t unpacked my box of winter things yet, I was getting cold, and I was afraid Shadow was, too. Shadow, however, wouldn’t go back inside yet, seeming determined to wait for Charlie and me to join him. Also, I was getting worried that Charlie might be getting frostbite or something and not even know it, as Matt had said he might do.
Charlie wouldn’t come in, though. He stopped with his “snow-eating” and then began wildly rolling in it, barking happily. He almost looked like he was making doggie snow angels, and I couldn’t help but smile, even though my teeth were chattering. I also couldn’t help but call out to him that he was a very smart boy for knowing how to make snow angels, because I really thought he was. He was even getting up periodically to survey the various snow angels he’d made, as if just wanting to make sure that he was making them properly.
Eventually, not wanting to basically drag him inside by the collar, as Matt had suggested, I decided to try a different approach, and I called out to Charlie that he could have a pepperoni from the pizza if he went to the bathroom and then came inside. Upon me saying the word pepperoni, Charlie froze in mid-angel, then leaped to his feet and looked around frantically, as if wanting to make sure that I hadn’t offered the pepperoni to some other dog.
“That’s right, Charlie…I meant you! You can have a pepperoni! You just have to go potty and come inside!”
Before I’d even finished speaking, he was already racing over to one of the tall pines in the side yard. When he reached it, he ducked behind it and remained there for a short while, doing his business. After, he began racing toward Shadow and me, only stopping once, and just briefly, for one more final roll in the snow.
Once he reached Shadow and me, I praised him heartily, telling him he was “so smart” and “amazing” for knowing to come on in for a pepperoni, and he reveled in my attention, jumping up to give me a “hug” with his paws on my shoulders. He, Shadow, and I were on the porch, heading into the house, when he began barking again, looking up into the darkened sky, which wasn’t completely dark because of the heavily-falling snow. The shade of the sky was something like midnight blue covered with a few layers of gauzy white tulle.
As if expecting him to verbally reply, I asked Charlie what he was barking at, and not a second later, I saw exactly what it was. A dark dot within the bluish, gauzy tulle of the sky was rapidly getting larger, revealing slowly-moving objects on each side of the “dot.” I quickly realized that these objects were wings, and that what I was looking at was a dragon descending in a snowstorm.
“I think Matt’s home, guys.”
Both dogs began barking furiously, and before long at all, Matt’s massive form briefly disappeared and then reappeared above a copse of tall evergreens beyond the driveway. Now watching him beat the air with his mighty wings at close range, I shivered, but not just because I was cold. There was just something about observing Matt in his dragon form, so large and powerful, which gave me a little thrill.
Even though, at the same time, I almost didn’t want it to. I was almost thinking along the same lines as Matt. I was almost starting to wish that the commission had paired me with someone very unattractive. Things might have been easier that way. Then I wouldn’t have to feel the conflicting feelings I was currently feeling, wanting to be completely i
ndifferent toward Matt but just not able to muster any indifference at all.
When he landed right in the vast front yard, he sent the dogs into paroxysms of barking by briefly breathing a little fire out his mouth, with smoke curling out of his nostrils. Whether he’d done this to thrill the dogs, thrill me, or for no reason at all, I, of course, had no way of knowing; however, I was a little thrilled anyway, experiencing a rush of butterflies in my stomach.
Clearly having seen him in dragon form before and recognizing him, the dogs charged him, still barking excitedly. When they reached him, he shifted into his human form, crouched down, and gave each of them a few hearty pats and ear rubs before ordering them both up to the house. Not surprising me at all, Shadow immediately obeyed, trotting up to the house with a few happy yips and barks. Also, not surprising me at all, Charlie didn’t obey, dropping to the snow and rolling around on his back, creating a snow angel just for Matt.
Not very appreciative, Matt “barked” at him. “No, Charlie! Get inside the house…right now!”
Charlie just began rolling around furiously, creating a snow angel at least six feet wide.
“Charles!”
Irritated, I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted. “He’s just trying to impress you, Matt! He just wants your approval! Why don’t you try telling him he’s doing a good job?”
Clearly not going to do so, Matt squatted, grabbed Charlie by the collar, and began trying to haul him up, “barking” orders at him again.
Horrified, I began tearing over. “Stop it, Matt! You’re going to strangle him!”
Matt stopped in trying to haul him up, but didn’t release Charlie’s collar, insisting that he knew what he was doing with his own dog. Not convinced, I tried to forcibly remove Matt’s hand from Charlie’s collar, and when he held it fast, I just pushed Matt over in his crouch, onto his back, forcing him to let go of Charlie’s collar or else pull him on top of us.
Us, because I’d pushed Matt onto his back with such force that I’d lost my balance and had collapsed on top of him, face-to-face. Now, with Matt no longer holding his collar, Charlie pranced happily beside us, kicking up snow, somehow not seeming any worse for wear for his near-strangling.
Aware that I probably had Matt as a captive listener as long as I remained on top of him, I looked deeply into his eyes, trying to impress upon him the importance of what I was going to say. “Just imagine this scenario. Just imagine making a snow angel for someone, wanting to please them, but instead of expressing their thanks or admiration, they try to strangle you instead. Can you even imagine that, Matt? Can you imagine how that would feel?”
“Have you ever owned a dog?”
Irritated that he hadn’t answered my question, I said no. “My mom never let me have one, and then, as an adult, I’ve never lived in an apartment building that allows them.”
“Well, I’m not surprised. You act as if dogs are made of glass, when really, they’re much hardier creatures than you give them credit for.”
“Well, they’re not meant to be abused, either.”
“I don’t abuse my dogs.”
“Says you.”
“That’s right. And it’s true.”
“Well, I’m sure if Charlie could speak--”
“I’ll kiss you if I have to, just to shut you up about Charlie.”
Still on top of Matt, with my front pressed against the long, hard length of his body, I just looked at him, realizing that I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. For some reason, I didn’t want him to know this, though. I at least didn’t want to come right out and ask him to kiss me. So, I decided I’d just make him deliver on his “threat” without outright admitting that I wanted him to.
“One more thing about Charlie….”
I didn’t say anything further; Matt just looked at me for a moment, and then his hands were cradling my face and his mouth was covering mine.
CHAPTER NINE
Firm and warm, Matt’s lips felt so heavenly that I couldn’t help but make a quiet moan of pleasure right away, although it wasn’t so quiet that Matt didn’t hear it. Seeming encouraged by it, he slowly switched our positions, rolling me onto my back in the snow without even breaking our kiss. Now, with him on top of me, I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders, wishing that he wasn’t wearing a coat so I could feel every hard muscle and ridge.
Beside us, Charlie continued prancing and leaping, making joyful woofs every so often, as if two humans kissing in a bed of snow was the most normal thing in the world.
For a while, it was as if Matt and I existed in our own little snow globe, lips locked, bodies entwined, snow falling heavily from the darkened sky, and two energetic dogs cavorting just a short distance away. However, just as Matt began intensifying our kiss, parting my lips to explore my mouth with his tongue, I shivered, my whole body trembling beneath him.
He soon broke our kiss and said we should head inside because he didn’t want me to catch pneumonia. Knowing that there was indeed probably a pretty good chance of this if I stayed out much longer, I reluctantly agreed, and Matt helped me to my feet.
Wanting to avoid him trying to pull Charlie by the collar again, I called out to Charlie, telling him that the pizza was probably done. “And there’s a slice of pepperoni on top with your name on it!”
I hadn’t even finished saying the word pepperoni before Charlie began racing toward the house with Shadow on his heels.
Feeling a bit triumphant, I looked over at Matt while we walked to the front door. “See? Sometimes you can catch more flies with honey…or more dogs with pepperoni, as the case may be. No dragging in by the collar required.”
Matt scoffed. “And are you going to give him a slice of pepperoni every single time you want him to come back to the house?”
I shrugged. “Why not? I don’t think a few thin slices of pepperoni a day would hurt him. I’ll start keeping a package of turkey pepperoni in the fridge, and give a slice each to him and Shadow every time they come to the door when called. Maybe I’ll even offer them baby carrots or apple slices instead sometimes, just to keep their ‘treat diet’ healthy.”
Matt scoffed again. “You’re going to spoil them senseless.”
I shrugged again, not caring too much as long as “spoiling them,” particularly Charlie, produced positive behavior and avoided Matt dragging him in by the collar. Like he’s a dog or something, I thought a bit stupidly, only realizing after a moment or two that Charlie was indeed a dog.
Once inside the house, I took the pizza and wings from the oven, then cooled two slices of pepperoni and gave one to each happy dog, casually telling Matt that I’d just decided to wait to eat with him. Getting the dogs some canned food for their dinner, he only responded with a grunt, leaving me uncertain as to whether he was happy that I’d decided to wait to eat with him.
Frankly, I wasn’t even sure that I was happy that I’d decided to wait. I really had no idea whether I even wanted things to ultimately work out between us, and our kissing out in the snow had only intensified my uncertainty.
After setting the pizza and wings on the dining room table to cool, I took some jeans out of a moving box and went into one of two ground-floor bathrooms to change into them because the ones I’d been wearing outside were wet with melted snow. After this, I joined Matt at the dining room table, taking a seat to the right of where he sat at the head of the table.
Once I’d unfolded my napkin in my lap, he handed me one of several frosty glass bottles of beer he’d brought to the table; I thanked him, and then clinked my bottle with his, saying cheers, which he echoed. And that was the last thing we said to each other for a while.
After finishing his first slice of pizza, Matt got up and quickly started a fire in a beautiful granite fireplace adjacent to the table. Now, with the golden glow of flames joining the glow of an amber-colored glass Tiffany lamp above the table, the dining room should have felt warm and cozy. The only reason it didn’t was because there was something ab
out Matt’s and my silence that was beginning to feel downright icy. It was as if our melting snow with our passionate kissing out on the front lawn mere minutes earlier had never even happened.
Now I was becoming even more intent on finding out why Matt had said earlier that he didn’t want to fall in love. However, since Matt seemed to be absolutely starving, demolishing two large slices of pizza, a serving of salad, and a pile of boneless wings before grabbing another slice of pizza and tearing into it, I decided to wait a little while longer before asking him what his reasons were for not wanting our Mating Union to become “any kind of a ‘love thing,’” as he’d said earlier.
Besides, I was enjoying my food and beer, too, and I had a feeling that the more beer I sipped, the more courage I’d ultimately have to come right out and ask Matt what I wanted to ask him.
I was well into my second beer and feeling a good little buzz when Matt began markedly slowing in his eating, and I decided that now was just as good a time as any.
“Why are you opposed to having our Mating Union become a ‘love thing?’?”
Maybe it was my buzz, but I hadn’t found just coming right out with the question to be difficult at all. Matt, however, seemed to find answering difficult. While the fire crackled and popped nearby, he served himself another few wings, stony-faced, and then began eating again without saying a word.
Thoroughly irritated, I tried again. “Why don’t you want to fall in love, Matt? Why did you hope I’d be ugly?”
He ate quietly for another several seconds, frowning, before finally looking up at me. “Can we please just eat in silence?”
I snorted, further irritated. “Why? Am I talking too much for you? Asking too many questions?”