by Amira Rain
Matt sighed. “Do you want to take the dogs out?”
“In these thin pajamas? I think I’d we’d need to kiss for a lot longer than we did earlier to get me warmed up after that.”
Having cracked the little joke without thinking, I began laughing feebly but almost immediately stopped, noticing Matt surveying me from head-to-toe with what I thought was a little glint of hunger in his eyes.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I’d had the feeling ever since he’d entered the room that Matt had been specifically trying not to look at my body, not that my pajamas were scandalous or anything. What they were, in two words, was slightly skimpy. Made of thin blue satin, the cap-sleeved pullover top, which just skimmed my hips, had a semi-low-cut scooped neckline, which just showed a hint of my cleavage. The matching satin pajama shorts I was wearing were short-ish, not anywhere near “boy shorts” level, but just short enough to reveal a good deal of my thighs.
Also, as I suddenly realized for the first time since Matt had entered the room, I wasn’t wearing a bra. Meaning, he might currently be seeing a fairly clear outline of my breasts and nipples, covered only by the thin fabric.
This knowledge made heat rise to my face as I surveyed Matt surveying me with what I was now certain was a little glint of hunger in his eyes. Suddenly, I wanted him to pull me into his arms and start kissing me. I wanted him to grab the sleeves of my top in his hands and just rip the top right down the middle and fling it aside. Then, I wanted to study his face as he looked at my naked breasts.
The phrase kiss me threatened to spill from my lips, but before it could, Matt abruptly cleared his throat, pulling his gaze away, and said that he’d better go take out the dogs.
“Goodnight, Kylie. Come on, Charlie.”
They were already past my bedroom door by the time I mumbled goodnight in return, studying the way Matt’s broad back and shoulders contrasted with his slim hips.
A short while later, I shut off the lights and got into bed, leaving the door cracked in case Charlie and Shadow wanted to come in later. I didn’t mind a bit of fur in my bed. I honestly hoped that Charlie and Shadow would come in later. However, I was beginning to think that I’d much rather share my bed with Matt.
Not surprisingly, even though I was exhausted, I couldn’t fall asleep right away. Unable to even keep my eyes closed, I just watched silvery light dancing across the ceiling, the effect created by moonlight filtering through tall pines that waved in a breeze some distance away from the wide bedroom windows. After a while, twenty minutes maybe, I heard Matt’s heavy boots coming down the hallway, followed by the sound of the dogs’ nails clicking on the hardwood.
Pleased, I rolled over, thinking that Matt had done a good job of letting the dogs out. After all, twenty minutes seemed like plenty of time for Charlie to do all the snow angels he wanted and get some of his energy out. I hoped that was what had happened, anyway. The only other scenario I could think of to explain the length of the dogs’ trip outdoors was a negative one, like maybe Charlie had refused to come when called or something, even with Matt calling out ‘pepperoni time!’ If he even had. I hoped he had.
Listening to his heavy footsteps, I heard Matt go into his room and close the door, and I heard what sounded like the dogs scampering off to a different room. A short while later, I heard what sounded like Charlie yipping a few times, but the sound was distant.
Eventually, after at least a half-hour of tossing and turning, despite the bed being the most comfortable one I’d ever been in in my life, I fell asleep. However, it didn’t stay asleep for long. A digital clock on the nightstand read midnight exactly when I was awakened by the sound of my bedroom door creaking open, being pushed by someone’s little snout.
Smiling at Charlie’s furry form, which was silvery-gold in the moonlight, I whispered to him. “Smart boy, Charlie. You knew exactly how to open the door.”
Eyes widening, as if he’d just stumbled upon the greatest and most unexpected surprise, Charlie just looked at me for a long moment before issuing three loud barks that sounded like barks of joy.
Immediately shushing him, I scooted over in bed and patted the empty spot where I’d been sleeping. “Hop on in, Charlie. But you have to be quiet.”
I hadn’t even finished speaking when he leaped up into the bed with a much quieter bark of joy and then began licking my face. It took a little while for me to get him settled down, but eventually, he went to sleep with my arm around his shoulders, and soon after, I drifted off, too. I slept hard, having vague dreams that I wouldn’t quite be able to remember later.
The dreams were about something involving dragons, dragons flying high above my head or something. The only part about any of the dreams that I would be able to even half-remember later was a part where I was reaching to try to touch or grab one of the flying dragons, but he was too fast. I had the idea that this dragon was Matt.
I woke up around seven-thirty the next morning, or rather, I was woken up at that time. What had woken me up was the feeling of something fairly heavy being placed or draped across my stomach. The something was warm, and it was making the exact same sound as a dog panting.
Pretty sure about what I was going to see, I opened my eyes and saw Charlie draped across my stomach crosswise, on his side, eyes open, with his little golden head resting on the mattress, causing his neck to be bent in a way that didn’t look comfortable at all.
Amused, I didn’t push him off, and just smiled at him instead. “Now, Charlie, for one thing, that just can’t be a comfortable position. It just can’t be. For another thing, how did you think you were doing to drape yourself over me like this without waking me up? Unless….” Teasing him, I pretended to think for a moment or two. “Charlie, did you just drape yourself over me like this because you were trying to wake me up?”
With his head still on the mattress, he just blinked a few times, avoiding my gaze, as if knowing exactly what I was saying and feeling a little guilty.
“Well, Charlie, I never would have had you pinned as such a calculating dog.”
As if finally assured that I wasn’t angry about him waking me up, he suddenly leaped to his feet and basically launched a full-scale “love attack” on me, licking my face while wriggling all around the bed with joy.
A while later, after I’d brushed my teeth and had put on a robe, Charlie and I woke up Shadow, who was still sleeping in bed in the dogs’ room, and I took them both downstairs to let them outside. Even though I knew that Matt was flying to the Upper Peninsula in dragon form that morning, and even though I knew he’d probably left hours earlier and wouldn’t be downstairs in the kitchen, I was still a little disappointed when I arrived in the kitchen and didn’t see him.
I didn’t even exactly know why. Despite all our fighting the previous day, I’d begun to feel that we had some sort of a connection, one that would enable a very happy, successful Mating Union. If Matt would agree to try to give love another chance, anyway. Sure, we could enter into a union without love, I figured. We’d just have to be able to be civil and tolerate each other in order to accomplish what we were supposed to accomplish, which was, of course, having children.
The thing was, though, that I didn’t think I could be satisfied by just merely “liking” my Mating Union partner anymore, or just merely getting along with him. Not now that I’d been paired with Matt and had begun to feel that there could really be something between us.
Also, now that I’d had a chance to learn what made him tick, including his thoughts about love, I wasn’t so sure that I’d ever want to have children with him without him being fully committed to displaying love. Obviously, I wanted my children to have a father capable of loving them fully.
While they used the bathroom and played around in the snow, I watched the dogs from the door, not wanting to take even a single step outside in the cold in just my robe and slippers. As it was, I was plenty cold enough at the door, even with the heat of the house at my back. After just a minute or two, shiv
ering, I called out “Pepperoni time!” And to my great relief, both Shadow and Charlie came flying.
Once we were all back in the house with the door shut, I took out a slice of leftover pizza from the fridge, my heart melting when I saw two circles devoid of toppings within the cheese, indicating that Matt had peeled off two slices of pepperoni for Charlie and Shadow when he’d let them out the night before. Peeling two more off, I asked the dogs if Matt had been “nice” the night before and had given them a “treat.” Although I hadn’t really been expecting a response to my question, Charlie gave me one anyway, barking just once, as if to say yes.
After I’d given the dogs their pepperoni, I spotted a note on a half-sheet of lined paper on the island, and I picked it up and read it.
Kylie,
Shadow was still sleeping, and I’m guessing Charlie was in your room when I woke up, so I didn’t take them out. Could you please do that, and feed them breakfast, too? They each get two scoops of dry food in the morning, and it’s in a big bin under the sink. Thanks. I’ll probably be home sometime this afternoon.
If I’m not back by dinner for some reason, please give the dogs about one-and-a-half more scoops of dry food each, along with a can of wet food each. Thanks. Shadow may not finish all his dinner, but Charlie will take care of that. I left my phone number on the fridge in case of any questions or problems. Feel free to explore the village or do whatever you’d like today. No need to be home when I get home.
Matt
I set the note on the island, scoffing faintly. I knew that many people might have seen Matt’s last line to be a sign of courtesy, but I didn’t. I took it more as a sign that he possibly didn’t want me to be home when he got home, like maybe he wanted to avoid me. Considering how we’d left things the night before, with him not answering my question about how he expected to raise children while still keeping his heart closed off, I could hardly blame him for wanting to avoid me.
I would have probably wanted to avoid me, too. However, I still felt stung. I supposed I’d been hoping that maybe Matt had done some thinking before going to bed, or early that morning, eventually realizing that I was right and deciding to give love another chance. Now, it seemed pretty clear to me that this wasn’t the case.
Trying not to spiral into a rotten mood, I made a pot of coffee, a piece of toast, and some scrambled eggs, then sliced up an apple before having a seat at the island to eat my breakfast. I’d just taken my first bite of eggs when my phone dinged with a text alert, and I pulled it from a pocket in my robe and read the message, which was from Amy.
Good morning! Sorry I didn’t text you back last night. Things got…how do I say this? Things got “a little involved.” I’m so happy, Ky. I’m in love. Mack is, too. I had to force him out the door this morning so he wouldn’t be late to start his “sky patrol” shift. He didn’t want to leave me.
Brought me breakfast in bed this morning- a mangled, burned omelet with barely-cooked, still-partially-frozen green peppers inside. It was one of the best things I’ve ever tasted, though, second to the “deluxe cheddar-crusted chicken” Mack made for me last night. I’M SO IN LOVE, KY.
Mack is the man I’ve always hoped for. There’s just some kind of chemistry between us that I can’t even describe. ANYWAY…how is everything going for YOU? Are you still punching Matt to a pulp?
After taking a few sips of my coffee, I texted her back, telling her that I was so very happy for her, which I truly was. She’d had a few serious relationships by this point in her life, but she’d never found a man she was just absolutely crazy about. In fact, with her last serious boyfriend, it had sometimes seemed to me that she was only with him because she just didn’t want to be alone. And by the end of their relationship, she’d pretty much admitted this to me.
Now, in the present, I had the feeling that she might have finally found “the one.” I just wished that I had, too, or that I was at least assured that Matt was going to make a serious effort to open his heart to me, so that Amy and I could have both experienced relationship joy together.
I continued my return text to Amy by telling her that no, I wasn’t still “punching Matt to a pulp,” which, I reminded her, he’d all but demanded I do.
This isn’t to say that things are great between us, though, either. In fact, I think he would be happy if I’m not home when he gets home this afternoon. I think he wants to avoid me. This, after we kissed in the snow last night, and then later, Matt told me some about his past and about how he’s lost so many people that he’s loved. He told me he doesn’t want to love again so he won’t have to lose anyone ever again.
I get it, and I feel terrible that he’s experienced so much loss, but I just wish he’d give a “love thing” between us a chance. Nothing in life is certain, sure, but I’m healthy and I don’t think I’m going to die anytime soon. I told Matt this, but he still thinks that something would happen to make him lose me. I really don’t know what to do.
After sending this text, I resumed eating my breakfast, and I had a return text from Amy by the time I finished my eggs.
Mack told me a little about Matt’s past last night, and I feel terrible for what he’s been through, too. Mack says Matt’s not done with love, though; he just doesn’t know it yet. The two of them have been friends for years, grew up in the same small “closeted” shifter community in Indiana, back when the public didn’t even know about shifters before the war.
Then, later, they were both in some super-secret branch of the military, doing covert operations and spying and stuff overseas in dragon form. So, needless to say, Mack knows Matt well. Have hope in what Mack said. And, anyway, let’s stop all these novel-length texts and meet in person. I miss seeing my best friend’s face, and I need to hit the grocery store for a few things. Why don’t we meet there at ten, and we can get a cappuccino at the little café next door afterward or something.
I responded by texting that that sounded great. I need to pick up a few packages of pepperoni at the store. Dog-related. See you at ten.
After putting my phone back in my robe pocket, I resumed drinking my coffee and eating my breakfast, soon joined by Shadow and Charlie, who sat at my feet, both looking darling and closely watching every bite of apple and buttered toast that I put into my mouth. By the time I only had a few bites of toast left, Charlie had developed what I was coming to think of as “drool fangs,” because the strings of drool that dripped out of his mouth on either side kind of resembled fangs. Slightly gross fangs, but still.
Smiling, I tossed him a bite of toast, then tossed one to Shadow, followed by a bite of apple for each as well. Shadow thanked me with a few licks to my ankle, and Charlie thanked me by jumping up with his paws on my leg and burying his face in my ribcage as if to give me some sort of a hug, wiping his drool fangs all over the right side of my robe in the process.
A little grossed out, but with my heart melting, I kissed the top of his knotty little head, smiling. “You’re part of the reason I’m staying here, buddy. You, too, Shadow. You guys have been such sweethearts that I’m going to stay a while longer to see if Matt and I can start working things out.”
I was thinking that it might take days or weeks before Matt and I really started “working things out.” I had no clue that in just a few hours, Matt and I would be “working things out” in a pretty intimate way.
CHAPTER 12
After doing a little grocery shopping, Amy and I had a long talk over cappuccino at the café, trying to come up with ways that I could get Matt to give our Mating Union a chance at being a “love thing.” However, I knew I couldn’t force him to give “us” a chance, and Amy agreed. So, eventually, we came to the conclusion that I’d just have to give things a little time.
Matt would “come around” if we were meant to be, Amy said. And if a week or so passed and he didn’t “come around,” or didn’t show many signs of doing so soon, then I’d just have to make a decision on whether or not to stay in Greenwood, or ask to be paired with ei
ther another shifter in Greenwood, or a shifter from a different USSA community.
The reason I’d only have a week or so to figure things out is because Matt and I were scheduled to get married, along with several other couples, including Amy and Mack, at the village hall the day before Thanksgiving. This was because marriage was an official prerequisite to formally enter into a government-sanctioned Mating Union.
Meaning, as Amy reminded me, that a woman had to marry the shifter she’d been paired with before she could start the one-year countdown to her first big annual paycheck from the government for her services as the non-shifter-but-shifter-gene-positive half of a Mating Union. And the government asked that Mating Union couples get married quickly, within a week or so, after being paired.
After finishing the last of my cappuccino, I set the foam cup down with a sigh. “See, the thing is, if I felt like there was zero chemistry between me and Matt, and if I felt like we didn’t have any kind of a connection and could never develop one, I probably wouldn’t even be contemplating leaving Greenwood. As long as I thought he was a decent guy, I’d probably just stay, just hoping that maybe we’d get along all right in the bedroom, even if our match was never a total ‘love thing.’ But because I feel like it could be at some point, if Matt would just open his heart to me, that’s why I’m conflicted.”
I sighed and then continued, “A marriage of casual friendship and convenience just for the purpose of producing children seems like it could possibly be hellish in some ways, but I can’t think of anything worse than falling in love with a man who will never love you back because he just refuses to let himself…and something just tells me that I could probably fall in love with Matt pretty easily. Then there’s also the fact that I obviously want my husband to love our kids with his whole heart, like I told you earlier, and that’s another issue with Matt. Being paired with a man and having him never fall in love with me was something I knew was a possibility when we came here, but being paired with a man who may not be willing to even fully love his own children when he has them is a scenario that definitely didn’t even cross my mind.”