“Hey, Marc, Mom’s telling your girlfriend about you being a mistake.” Luke playfully pushed Marc’s shoulder, causing him to stumble sideways slightly.
“Ha, ha.” Marc rolled his eyes. “That never gets old.”
“Just think,” John said, “if the two of you get married and have a boy, you can name him Remark.”
His brothers laughed.
Kelly’s heart sank. “I can’t have children.”
Silence filled the room. They all stared at her. Sarah had come into the room during the conversation. She looked down at her protruding belly, and back at Kelly.
“I’m sorry.” Sarah came over and hugged her. “It can’t be easy seeing me this way.”
“You get accustomed to it after a while and you start to think about your options.” Kelly forced a smile. It did hurt to know she would never carry a child inside her womb, but she was happy for Sarah. It wasn’t her fault Kelly couldn’t have children. “I’d like to adopt one day.”
“That’s sweet, dear.” Ruth hugged her too. “Why don’t you boys get washed up so we can eat before the food gets cold?”
The room couldn’t have cleared any quicker if she’d told them the baseball game just started.
*
Over lunch, when they went to join hands to pray before the meal, Marc hesitated. At least it felt that way to Kelly. Maybe she’d read too much into his actions. Later, the men reverted to the living room to watch the game on TV while the women cleaned up. Something seemed a bit wrong with this picture, but Kelly didn’t comment. She already knew from the conversation amongst the others that this was tradition.
When the women finished cleaning up, Sarah laid the children down for a nap, allowing them enough peace and quiet to play a card game at the table. Kelly wished she could spend more time interacting with Marc. Was he upset with her? He hadn’t made a gesture to even touch her when he walked past her to head to the living room. In the hour-and-a-half since they’d gone to watch TV, John was the only one who’d come in the kitchen to retrieve drinks for the guys, which seemed odd, since he didn’t have a girlfriend or wife in the kitchen to check on. Maybe he drew the shortest straw and got stuck with the task since he was the youngest?
Marc was quiet on the drive back to her apartment. When she could take the silence no more, she turned in her seat to look at him. “Did I do something to upset you?”
“No.” He frowned. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
She blinked several times, not sure what to think.
“Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t have children?” His shoulders scrunched up as his face skewed into an angry glare. He glanced at her momentarily, then focused his attention back on the road, not before she saw pain flash in his eyes.
“It’s not like it is something easy to talk about.” Her voice raised, but at the moment, she didn’t care. “You don’t generally just throw out, hey, by the way, I can’t have children.”
“Really?” He looked at her incredulously and gripped the steering wheel tight enough to make his knuckles whiten. “That sure seems to be what you did today, and in front of my entire family without even breaking the news to me first?”
“Is that what you’re upset about?” Kelly asked. “That I didn’t tell you before them? I wanted to, trust me.”
“Are you even sure you planned on telling me before we got married?”
She opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it. His words resonated in her head. Kelly didn’t know what to say. “Married? We haven’t dated that long. I’m not sure that’s something that entered either of our minds.”
“Dating is for marriage.” Marc leaned his arm on the car door and rubbed his temple. “At least it should be.”
It touched her that Marc was old-fashioned. In an ideal world, people would only date with that intent. But that wasn’t how it usually happened. She was touched that he could actually see himself married to her. She never envisioned anyone truly wanting her. Maybe that’s why she was always hesitant to share her past. She didn’t want to scare men away, and especially not Marc. “I would have told you before then, so you’d understand what I was going through.”
“What you were going through?”
She wished he’d stop flashing her angry glares.
“You’re not the only one who has to deal with not having children,” Marc ground out. “Whoever you marry would have to be willing to forego having children as well.”
“There’s always adoptions, so it’s not like we couldn’t have children.”
“And what if a man wants his own children?” He pulled into her apartment parking lot.
She hadn’t realized how close they had been to her home. She’d almost prefer they finish this conversation while he drove. Then he couldn’t continue to glare at her angrily. Did it bother him that much that he wouldn’t be able to have his own children? He seemed so good with the children at the home. “Are you telling me you couldn’t find it in your heart to love one of the children, like Annie, from the children’s home?”
“You’ve seen my niece and nephew, and my sister is due to have another baby in a few months,” Marc said. “I want that.”
“So do I, but we don’t always get what we want in life.” Kelly wanted to cry or scream out in pain. She couldn’t change the past and she held little control over her future. By the way Marc had responded, she doubted she would see him again. Unless it was at church. She took a deep breath to steady her emotions. “We don’t always have control over what happens in our lives, all we can do is live with what we’re given. Life doesn’t come with guarantees. Even you could get killed in a fire. You’d leave your wife a widow. That’s a fact of life as well, and whoever you marry is going to have to learn to live with that fear.”
His silence spoke volumes.
Kelly climbed out of his truck. Her goodbye was barely audible. Once she safely reached the confines of her apartment, she threw herself across the couch and cried.
Chapter Seven
Marc was in an irritable and depressed mood all week. He didn’t look forward to meeting Katie and Wade for a late lunch on Thursday before they went to try on tuxedos. Weddings were not something he wanted to think about, especially since the prospect of marrying the woman he was smitten with went up in smoke.
He wanted to pray about it, but he was too angry at God. Just when Marc thought he’d finally found the one, all hopes and dreams of a happily ever after were vaporized. How could God be so cruel?
Katie and Wade were already seated and looking at a menu when he came into the restaurant. They were smiling and laughing as they talked. An image of brown eyes and soft, pink lips filled his thoughts. Marc still couldn’t get the taste of Kelly’s lips to stop haunting him. She felt so right in his arms, beneath his touch. He wanted to caress her, wrap his fingers in her hair as he drew her to him in a mind numbing kiss—a kiss he would never taste again.
Wade looked up and saw him. He motioned for Marc to join them. While his shoes felt like they were filled with lead as he trudged toward the table, Marc forced a smile. This was a time of celebration for his friends. The least he could do was pretend to be cheerful for their sake.
When Marc reached the table, Wade stood and shook his hand, motioning toward an empty chair. “Have a seat.”
Marc sat and picked up his menu, thankful to have something to distract him from conversation. If they asked how he was, he’d be forced to lie.
When the waitress came, Wade and Katie settled on a salad and sharing a pizza. Marc chose rigatoni a la carbonara and a small side salad. You couldn’t go wrong with anything that had bacon. Of course, he had thought he couldn’t go wrong with Kelly either.
“Why the frown?” Wade asked. “Missing the new girlfriend?”
“How’d you know?” Marc didn’t recall telling Wade about Kelly, but she had been the only thing on his mind lately.
“Nic told us last week,” Katie said.
A frown creased Wade’s b
row. “By the expression on your face, I’m guessing things aren’t working out?”
Marc shook his head and sighed. “No, and the worst part is I took her home to meet my family last weekend. Now I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“They didn’t like her?” Katie’s eyes were soft.
He knew Katie only wanted to help, but it was too soon to talk about. Yet, like a conveyor belt, his mouth spewed out his problems and how she’d failed to tell him that she couldn’t have children. “I feel like she wanted to trap me.”
“Kelly’s a friend of mine and she’s not like that.” Katie glared at him. “You just don’t go around telling people, hey, guess what…” Katie rolled her eyes, gesturing with her hands in the air. “…my father and uncle abused me. I didn’t know how to deal with it and ended up sleeping around, not knowing what love truly was until I became a Christian. But it’s okay, God redeemed me and now I’m changed. However, the whole sordid ordeal caused me to get cervical cancer and now I can’t have children.” Katie leaned her arms on the table and looked at him pointedly. “Is that what you wanted her to tell you?”
Marc’s jaw dropped. He didn’t know what to say.
Wade touched Katie’s arm. “Remember, we’re in a public place.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sorry, Marc, but the reality is, it happened to Kelly. It’s something she has to process and deal with and you just don’t dump something like that on a guy you like, and she liked you a lot from what I could tell when I talked to her.”
What could he say? Kelly endured a lot that he didn’t know about. “I know women dream of getting married one day. I always dreamed of having sons.”
“You can still find a surrogate or even adopt children.” Katie’s tone had softened toward him. “I always admired Kelly for wanting to work with children who were growing up in bad situations because she doesn’t want to see them suffer like she did.” Katie reached over and touched his hand. “If you don’t give her a chance, you’ll be missing out on getting to know a really great woman who has such inner strength and doesn’t give up, plus she has a heart for God and for others.”
Something Marc’s father once told him came to mind, “Don’t marry the woman you can live with. Marry the one you can’t live without.”
Could he live without Kelly?
Chapter Eight
Working at the children’s home not only helped fill Kelly’s empty void, it gave her a sense of meaning and purpose. She watched over Annie and a couple of other girls as she helped them with their homework.
“I’m done,” Annie announced. “Is that firefighter coming over today?”
“Marc?” Kelly was bewildered. “Why would he come over?”
“Aren’t you both going out together?” Annie’s eyes narrowed.
Kelly shook her head. “Not any more.”
“You still didn’t give me his number,” Annie reminded her for the umpteenth time. “I can call him and tell him how good you are with children. Then you both can get married and adopt me.”
Her heart melted, even though a twinge of sadness gripped her. She hugged Annie. “I wish it was that easy.”
“Can I go play now?” Annie asked.
Kelly nodded, afraid to trust her own voice. She hated seeing the disappointment in Annie’s eyes. The child deserved a good home. She wished she was able to give it to her.
Annie gathered her books and left the table.
“Can I go, too?” Mattie asked, her pencil poised above the paper.
“Is your homework done?” Kelly tried not to smile at her fallen look. She couldn’t blame the young girl for trying. “Hurry up and finish. Then you can go play.”
Less than ten minutes later, Mattie announced she was done. She quickly gathered her things and left the table. Kelly’s gaze followed as Mattie scurried away. She noticed Annie squatting on the stairs, holding Kee Kee. Her free arm poked through the railing on the stairs, motioning for Mattie. Did she really want to know what that girl was up to? She needed to help with dinner so she could head home and do her own homework.
*
Marc’s chest pounded rapidly, as if keeping pace with the sirens of the fire truck. He’d tried to call Kelly to no avail when the 9-1-1 call came in about a cat on the roof of the children’s home.
Maybe Kelly wasn’t volunteering today? The thought of her trying to climb on the roof of the two-story building to rescue that cat worried him. She’d climbed a tree. Granted, that time a child was involved. What if one of the children followed the cat out there? Had the cat climbed a tree and jumped onto the roof? His head swirled with all kinds of scenarios.
If Kelly got hurt…
As the fire truck pulled up, Marc leaned forward to look at the roof. He realized there was actually a third floor, or maybe it was just an attic. A child was balled up on the roof, clutching the cat, on the other side of the dormer. She must have climbed out the open window. Another little girl leaned her head out the window, motioning to the girl to stay still.
Where was everyone else? Why weren’t any supervisors outside, or even at the window, trying to calm the child? “Who called this in?”
Daniel was the one who’d taken the call. “Dispatch said they had a child on the line.”
The moment the vehicle stopped, Daniel sprang into action. He was up the stairs and knocking heavily on the door before the other firefighters reached him.
An older woman answered the door. She wiped her hands on her apron.
“We need to get upstairs,” Daniel announced, brushing past her. “There’s a child on the roof.”
“A what?” Her eyes widened as her gaze followed him. It took a moment before his words registered enough for her body to respond. She turned and quickly followed after them.
Marc felt a twinge of disappointment that he didn’t see Kelly. At least she wasn’t in danger. From the woman’s response, they had no idea what was even going on.
When they entered the attic, the girl turned and yelled his name.
“I knew you’d come.” She ran over and hugged him. “I’ll tell Maggie that she can come in now.”
He grabbed her arm when she started to head toward the window. “Why don’t we let Daniel help her inside?”
She paused, obviously considering his suggestion before she nodded.
Marc knelt down to her level. He recognized her. She was the girl in the tree the last time he came. “We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.”
She giggled. “Miss Kelly never gave me your phone number, so I didn’t know how else to get you here.”
Kelly had mentioned one of the girls had wanted to call him. They had chuckled about it, never dreaming how anxious she obviously was to go to such extremes to talk to him. “You do realize that making fake calls to 9-1-1 can get you in trouble?”
“It wasn’t fake.” Her cute button nose jutted into the air. “Maggie really did get stuck out there.”
“But you shouldn’t have encouraged her to go out there in the first place,” Marc told her. “It is dangerous. What if she fell off the roof?”
“See, this is why I need you,” she announced. “If you and Miss Kelly got married, you could both adopt me and help teach me this stuff.”
“What?” Marc blinked rapidly and almost shook his head to clear it. She wanted him to marry Miss Kelly? And adopt her? “What is your name, sweetheart?”
“Annie.” She smiled. “Can I call you, Dad?”
“Ah…” Marc coughed.
One of the guys laughed. “You better get that straightened out real quickly.”
Marc shot him a dirty look.
“I’m trying.” Marc expelled a deep breath and locked gazes with Annie. “Kelly and I aren’t dating right now.”
“That’s okay.” She took his hand and started to tug on it. “I can take you to her. Then you can ask her out again.”
He didn’t budge from his spot. “I’m sorry, Annie. It doesn’t work that way.”
>
She stopped. Her eyes squinted and her lips pursed. It was hard not to chuckle—she was cute as a button.
A smile slowly crept across her face. “Do you know someone else we can get Kelly to go out with? Then, if she gets married, she can still adopt me.”
The thought of seeing Kelly with someone else caused a pang in his chest.
Chapter Nine
It had been hard enough for Marc to focus after the last time he saw Annie. Running into her again at her school during the outside assembly on fire safety made him think of Kelly again. He’d seen Kelly when they were leaving the children’s home a few days ago and all he could think about was the way Daniel smiled at her. Once they were in the fire truck, Daniel offered to go out with Kelly—even if it meant Annie would want him to adopt her if they got married.
“A kid like that playing matchmaker? Sign me up,” Daniel had said.
Marc noticed Annie was a little standoffish, which didn’t seem at all like her. He walked over to talk to her. “Hey, munchkin, what’s up?”
Annie shrugged.
He picked her up and set her on the back of the fire truck. Marc leaned his head against hers. “What’s wrong?”
“My friend, Abby, said her dad took her out for a daddy-daughter date for her birthday. She got to go to the movies and out to eat, and even got cake and ice cream.” Annie quickly wiped at a tear that trickled down her cheek. “I’ve never gone to a show or a fancy restaurant.”
His chest constricted. Poor Annie.
“Are you sure you and Miss Kelly couldn’t get married and adopt me? Then we could be a family. We’d have to leave KeeKee behind for the other kids,” Annie said. Her eyes began to light up as she rambled on. “But we could get a dog instead—I’ve always wanted a puppy.”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sweetie.”
Her shoulders slumped. “That’s okay. I’m used to no one wanting me.”
Love Blossoms: 7 Spring-Fresh Christian Romances Page 58