After the meal was finished and the dishes were done, Duke offered to give Cora, Joe and the boys a ride back to town. Brody disappeared with the excuse that he had work to do in the barn. Breezy watched as little by little everyone left. The twins were sleeping. It was just her and Jake. And he looked restless.
“Is there a problem?”
“A small one,” he admitted.
“Okay, well, why don’t you tell me? Or is this another rule, ‘don’t question Jake’? Or is there a rule that you have to do everything on your own without help?”
She was goading him, she knew. But she didn’t know any other way to get the man to open up, to let her in. Not that she really needed or wanted all of his deep, dark secrets. As a matter of fact, after thinking about it, she was considering pushing Rewind and leaving him to his misery.
As she considered making her exit, he sighed and brushed a hand through his hair, leaving the dark brown strands in disarray. When he looked at her, his blue eyes were troubled. Okay, she did care. He needed someone to take part of the load or he’d work himself into an early grave.
The person to do that was her.
“Tell me,” she spoke softly. “Listen, I know you love your family, but you can’t do it all alone. What good will you be to the twins if you don’t take care of yourself?”
“You’re probably right.”
“I know I’m right.” She said and for some crazy reason took a step closer. Why? Why did she suddenly feel the need to comfort this man? Jake Martin wasn’t a man who invited hugs and easy touches. But she touched him anyway.
She put her palm on the smooth planes of his face, aware that she should step back, aware that the room had gone still except the wild pounding of her heart. He didn’t move away; in fact his hand slid to her waist and pulled her close. For a long moment they stood toe to toe, forehead to forehead, her hand on his cheek, his hand on her hip.
Breezy knew that they were both waiting for common sense to return. But it didn’t. Slowly, ever so slowly, his head bent toward hers and their lips touched. He kissed her slowly, taking his time it seemed, and she closed her eyes.
She moved her hands to the back of his neck. He raised his head for a brief moment then leaned in again, brushing his lips against hers and then moving to her cheek.
The front door slammed. Jake stepped back, releasing her from his hold. She stared up at him, waiting for him to say something, to undo the moment. He didn’t. He gave her a long look, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck, and then he put distance between them.
Breezy thought she might cry.
* * *
Jake had stepped away from Breezy but it hadn’t been an easy thing to do. It should have been. He should have stepped back, said a polite “thank you for the kiss” and let it end. Instead he stood there looking at her, wondering if there would be a repeat, and kind of wishing for one.
That proved he hadn’t been getting enough sleep. He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, ignoring his brother. Brody shot the two of them a curious look and mumbled something about his horse and antibiotics. Jake guessed he should listen but didn’t.
“Jake, the problem?” Breezy called him back to planet Earth with that question. She was right, they’d been discussing a problem.
“Right. Marty won’t be home for a few days. And I’d been counting on her to help with the twins.”
Breezy’s eyes narrowed and her pretty mouth, the one he’d just kissed, formed a straight line of disapproval. “You understand that you’re not raising the twins alone anymore? There is a will, I think, and it appointed us both guardians.”
Brody hurried past them, head down, hands up. “I’m a neutral party but she’s right.”
“Get out of here,” Jake growled.
Brody obliged.
Breezy didn’t give him a chance to interrupt. “You’re arrogant, Jake Martin. You have this idea that you are the only person capable of doing anything. You run this ranch. You run your family. You are now trying to run me, and that isn’t going to work because I’m not yours to run.”
“I kind of got that.”
“No, I don’t think you have gotten it. You’re worried about how you’ll take care of this ranch, take care of the twins, and probably worried about taking care of me. Well, I can take care of myself. And I think I can even help you take care of those two little girls.” She hesitated, locking those caramel-brown eyes on him. “Our little girls, Jake. As much as it hurts, they are ours.”
It did hurt. Hurt enough that it felt as if she’d physically pushed him. He took a deep breath that shuddered on the exhale. She started toward him but he held his hands up to stop her.
“I’m sorry.” She said it softly and it felt like rain coming down on him. “I’m sorry that you lost your sister and I’m sorry you lost Lawton. We’re in this together, though. And you have to let me help you. Maybe that’s what Lawton wanted. Maybe he knew you’d need someone from outside the family who couldn’t be bullied and who maybe, just maybe, would bully you back.”
Had Lawton thought that? It made sense, but Jake couldn’t delve into the psychology of Lawton’s plan. Not now.
“I have to take cattle to an auction tomorrow and I need to make sure the guys move a herd from one field to another. I also have to make contact with a firm in Fort Worth. Lawton and I were putting a system in their office and it has a few kinks. I was counting on Marty.”
“Yeah, I get that. Now you’ll count on me.”
“Right, I’ll count on you.”
She smiled at that. “See, that wasn’t so hard. Now, why don’t we get their bags packed and you can bring them over this afternoon?”
He agreed to her plan. What other choice did he have?
* * *
Later, as he pulled up to Lawton’s house, he realized it was the only option. And it was the right choice to make. She shared custody with him and it was time for him to let go. As he looked at the house, he realized it was time to stop calling it Lawton’s house. It was Breezy’s house now. It was her car in the drive. It was Breezy who would open the door when he walked up the steps with the girls.
She was right, it was time to face that Lawton and Elizabeth weren’t coming home. This wasn’t temporary. The girls were his. They were Breezy’s.
Accepting reality meant accepting her in his life. It also meant he’d have to trust that she wasn’t going to sneak away in the night. That thought unsettled him a little. He could see that the twins needed her. They were getting used to her songs, to her hugs, to the way she talked to them.
As he’d known she would, she greeted him on the front porch, taking Rose from him. She kissed the little girl’s cheek and then leaned to kiss Violet’s cheek.
“All ready for this?” he asked as they walked through the front door.
“I think so. I have real food and I put clean sheets on their beds. I’m a little worried how they’ll adjust to sleeping in their beds again.”
“They usually do better if they sleep in one crib together,” he offered.
“Oh, I should have thought of that.”
“It isn’t something that makes or breaks you, Breezy. But it might make your night a little better.”
They walked into the living room. Violet and Rosie were fresh from their nap and ready to play. Violet wiggled from his arms and Rosie was already pulling a doll from the basket of toys next to the couch. He looked around the room, noticing that it still looked exactly as it had when she’d moved in.
“You know, you can change things. Put out your own stuff.” Weren’t women big on personal touches?
She glanced around the room and then looked back at him and shrugged. “I know. It’s a strange concept for me. I’ve never really had a place of my own and I guess I still think of this as Lawton’s ho
use that I’m staying in. Like he and Elizabeth will be back. They’ll want their lives, their girls...”
She covered her face with her hands and shook her head.
Jake pulled her close. Her hands were still on her face and her arms were between them. She sobbed as he held her. He guessed they both had some adjusting to do. He stroked long blond hair until she stopped crying.
“Shh, it’ll get easier. We both have to figure this out.”
She nodded into his shoulder, her head resting there, fitting perfectly. Common sense, which had been in short supply lately, told him to pull back. But she felt good in his arms and he didn’t want to let go, not yet.
The twins were playing, sitting close together the way they sometimes did, heads practically touching, their dolls between them. He wondered if they communicated that way. Did they discuss the situation, wonder together where their mommy and daddy had gone to? Those thoughts ached inside him and suddenly he needed this woman in his arms as much as she needed him.
Eventually he let her go and she wiped her eyes and sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” He sank onto the sofa and watched as she took a seat in the rocking chair. “Breezy, we have to accept this. I have to work on letting you be my partner in raising the girls. You have to make this your home.”
She seemed pale in the dim light of the lamp and her eyes shimmered. She eventually nodded. “I know.”
“A home where you stay,” he pushed.
Because that was still his fear, that the twins would get attached and she’d leave.
“Why do you think I’ll leave?”
“I know you aren’t used to staying in one place.”
She shook her head, leaning a little in his direction. “Yes, that’s been true for most of my life. But for most of my life I didn’t have a reason to stay. But your trust issues, those are your issues to work through.”
“Trust issues?” So in a matter of days she thought she knew him?
“I’ve been here almost a week and...it’s a small town.” She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and studied him for a minute.
“Yes, it’s a small town.” Suddenly he was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation had taken.
“I know about your mom, and I know that when she left, you took care of things. You were just a boy and...”
He held up a hand. “Don’t start picturing me as a little boy in need of a mother. I was twelve and I survived.”
“Of course you did,” she said. “You and I have that in common. And now we have those two little girls counting on us to help them survive.”
He stood, because it was time for him to go. He wanted to be upset, because leave it to a woman to think a man had to get in touch with his emotions in order to deal with life. He wasn’t upset, though. Because Breezy pushed him in a way that few people did. The twins needed her strength. Maybe he did, too.
“Jake, I’m sorry.” Her hand reached for his. He looked down at those fingers with pale pink polish holding on to his, not letting go.
“Don’t be,” he finally answered. “We’ll get through this. But I’m just about talked out so I’m going to head to the house and get some work done.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek before he went out the door.
Jake got in his truck and headed back to the ranch, to work left undone. His phone rang as he drove. A county deputy was on the other end, letting him know they’d checked out a few leads on the break-in but so far weren’t any closer to figuring out who might have been at Lawton’s the other day. They had one print, a half print actually, and it wasn’t in the system.
Great. One more thing to worry about.
Chapter Nine
Breezy and the twins were gone. Jake walked through Lawton’s place two days later, looking, listening. He could admit to a good case of the nerves settling over him the minute he’d walked through the door, calling out to Breezy and the twins and getting no reply. Her car was in the drive. He’d checked the garage and the truck was parked where it had been for weeks.
He walked out the back door and headed in the direction of the barn. Halfway there he heard laughter, Breezy’s and the twins’. The sound drifted on the wind and seemed to come from the field behind the house. He opened the gate and paused, waiting for more laughter, maybe conversation that might lead him in the right direction. After several seconds he heard Breezy yell, “Timber!”
That did it. He ran in the direction of her voice, coming to a sudden stop as he spotted her, the twins and an Arizona cypress toppling to the ground. She stood a good distance back from the tree. The twins were in a wagon that had been kept in the garage. She was holding the handle of the wagon with one hand and a saw in the other. When she spotted him she waved the saw and then pointed to the fallen tree.
“What are you doing?” He smiled at Rosie and Violet. “You girls having fun?”
Rosie nodded. Violet pointed to the tree, her mouth open and her eyes wide. “Tree,” they both said.
“Yes, a Christmas tree.” Breezy looked far too pleased and that only annoyed him more.
“What in the world are you thinking?”
“That if I’m going to make this house my home, I need a tree.” She looked surprised and a little bit annoyed.
“I could have gotten you a tree. As a matter of fact, there’s probably one in the attic.”
“I wanted a real tree. I’ve never had one.”
She brushed at a few strands of hair blowing in the wind even though she wore a cap pulled down tight. Her eyes were bright toffee and her pink lips parted in an excited grin.
How did she do that? How did she look like a child and a fantastically gorgeous woman all at the same time? He allowed himself a minute to look at her, at all of that blond hair flowing out from beneath a white knit cap. She’d worn an old canvas coat, probably Lawton’s, with a white sweater, jeans and brown riding boots.
“Anyway,” she was saying, “I thought it wouldn’t be hard to cut one down. I hope it’s okay to do that.”
“Yes, it’s okay.” It wasn’t okay to turn him inside out this way. It wasn’t okay to look like a woman he wanted to kiss. Again.
None of this was okay and Lawton should have known better. He was angry. Angry with himself, with her for being so tempting, and angry with Lawton for leaving them alone in this mess.
“Jake?”
He brushed a hand over his face and then raised that same hand to stop her. He just needed a minute. She started to say something. He held up one finger. Surely she could understand. He needed a minute. One quiet minute to get past the loss of a sister and his best friend.
He needed more quiet moments to figure out what exactly she was doing to his calm, very ordered existence.
When he opened his eyes, she was still watching him and the twins were staring, as well. They wore identical looks of doubt. Of course they did. All three of them were doubting his sanity and his ability to take care of them. And that’s what got him. Lawton hadn’t added a partner, he’d added one more person Jake felt the need to care for.
The empty house had shaken him. He tried to write off this roller coaster of emotions as fear. He hadn’t expected to find her gone. He had panicked. But they were fine.
“Let’s get that tree back to the house.” He pulled gloves out of his jacket pocket and put them on. Without anything further said, he grabbed the end of the tree and trudged along next to Breezy, who pulled the wagon.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered halfway to the house. The twins had climbed out of the wagon and were walking alongside the tree, telling him in their toddler voices that they could help.
“No need to be sorry.” He said it with an ease that surprised him. “You wanted a tree. I should
have gotten you a tree.”
She glanced at him then. She looked mad. Maybe close to furious. They didn’t know each other, didn’t know the right words to say or what the other person was thinking.
When people had children together, it was a given that they would know each other. He and Breezy were walking through a field of land mines.
“I don’t need for you to get me a tree, Jake. I don’t need you to take care of me. That isn’t why I’m here. Lawton didn’t leave me to you. He didn’t ask you to take care of me, too. I’m here to help you. I’ve taken care of myself for a long, long time.”
“Right, of course.”
“Jake, I’m not the kind of woman that needs a man to run to my rescue. I won’t ask you to hang curtains, kill wasps or slay dragons.”
He wondered why she was so against allowing a man to do those things for her. He didn’t ask. Asking would have dragged him further into her life. She was kind enough to give him an out and he should take it.
He dropped the tree in the yard. He would have to find a stand for it. And she’d have to clear a space in the living room. He would have explained but she trudged up the steps ahead of him. The twins following close behind.
As they entered the house he noticed what he hadn’t before. It smelled wonderful. The kinds of smells that made his stomach rumble with hunger.
She must have heard because she laughed. “You’re welcomed to stay for dinner.”
“That isn’t tofu, is it?”
She shook her head as he followed her to the kitchen. “No, it’s bread and homemade stew.”
“You cook?”
She nodded and lifted the lid from the slow cooker. “I’m learning. I’ve never had a kitchen of my own, not really. In Dawson I worked a lot, waitressing, and I ate at the restaurant. Before that I lived in California in an efficiency that was less than efficient. It was one room with a bed, microwave and dorm-size fridge.”
“Why did you stay there?”
She stirred the stew and then took a careful taste. He waited for an answer and wondered if it was too much to ask. Maybe they didn’t need to know each other’s stories. But then, she knew his.
A Rancher for Christmas Page 9