by Jillian Hart
“You are all that matters to me.” He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.
He wasn’t surprised to hear Marie’s confession. There was much to admire about Henry Lafayette, but he could be an overzealous man determined to run the fort and the settlement his way. He was even more rigid where his daughter was concerned.
That did not bode well for them.
“I want to speak with my father alone.”
“I don’t want you hurt. If I’m there with you, I can shoulder the blame. I am responsible for your welfare now.”
“I’m responsible, too. This may be the last chance I have to make everything right between him and me.” Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “He’s going to be disappointed, I know. But maybe I can make him see the woman I’ve become. Maybe he’ll surprise me and be the father I need.”
“I can’t stand by and let you take his anger.”
She smiled, her unshed tears sparkling, her lovely face a mix of happiness and suffering. “Papa will not be himself with you there. He’s so determined to be the colonel in charge.”
“You will tell him?”
“I promise.” Her words became a kiss, one that reassured him more completely than any vow.
It was anguish to release her. Anguish to step away still tasting her lips on his.
He would not hide. He would not lie. He would not compromise an innocent, spirited woman. Marie was a part of his soul. He could not defile his love for her by acting as if they’d done something shameful. That their affections should be kept hidden from sight.
“Marie, I was just thinking about you.” Henry pushed away from his paper-piled desk in the large corner office. “Come, sit. Sergeant James will fetch some tea for us.”
“I—” She wasn’t in the mood for refreshment. Not when her stomach was coiled so tightly. “That would be fine, Papa.”
“Good.” He nodded to the man, who left the door ajar, presumably to fetch the desired drinks. “You look serious. You’ve come to resign your teaching position, haven’t you?”
Resignation? Surprised, she slipped into the chair facing him. “No, Papa, but we do need to talk.”
“I know.” He held up his hand, in control. “How was school today?”
“Well enough—”
“Good, Marie. I knew you would do me proud with the school. I want to clarify something I said last night. Something I think might have caused you grief.
“I gave you the impression that I don’t love you, my own daughter.” Staring hard at his cigar, he pinched the end off and lit it, never lifting his gaze to hers.
Yet his words touched her. Words she’d never heard before. Hope filled her, quiet and tentative. “Then you agree there is more to life than duty?”
“There is both for a father.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I may have given you the impression that I regretted that you were not a boy. A man wants for a son, I won’t deny that, but a daughter is precious and needs to be taken care of accordingly.”
Marie stared at the window, shaken. Was he saying that all the years they’d spent apart were his best effort to take care of her? “You did what you could for me, Papa, and I do appreciate it. I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry.”
“Not until you’re married to an ambitious major with a future ahead of him. Someone who can provide the world for my daughter.” He exhaled cigar smoke with a contented smile. “And my grandsons. I will hold a grandchild in my arms before I die, won’t I?”
You could be carrying my child. Night Hawk’s words filled her with hope. Every time she loved him would bring a greater chance of conceiving their child. The thought of Night Hawk’s baby brought joy to her heart.
She felt happier than she dared to believe. “One day, Papa. I’m sure of it.”
Meka’s bark rang across the meadows, announcing his and Marie’s arrival. The injured bird startled. Night Hawk soothed the creature with his voice and touch.
“How’s our hawk?”
“Improving. I just finished feeding him.” Night Hawk wrapped the bundle of smoked fish and set it aside. “You’re smiling. I can’t believe it went well with your father.”
“I didn’t tell him. I tried, but some urgent business came up.” Marie led the way toward his house, swinging her basket. “Something about missing livestock at one of the ranches.”
“Did he think it was thieves or a wild animal?”
“He didn’t say.”
“What else did he say?” Night Hawk fought to keep from touching her. “You gave me your word that you would tell Henry about us.”
“I know. It’s just—” She pushed open his door and stepped into the kitchen. “He said some things that made me see him differently. I doubt that he and I will ever see eye-to-eye on some things, but maybe he understands a little. I think he’s realized that I’m not going to marry Major Gerard or any other military man he pushes in front of me.”
She set the basket on his table, looking as if she belonged here. “I think Papa has come to understand that he can’t choose a husband for me. He’ll accept you, Night Hawk. I know he will.”
“He said that, did he?” Night Hawk didn’t believe it for a second, but her excitement filled his house and made his heart whole. “He told you he’d welcome an Indian for a son-in-law? And a farmer, at that.”
“He didn’t say the words, but he respects you. I know he does.” Marie reached inside her basket and withdrew a cloth-covered bundle. “Papa won’t be home until late, and Mrs. Olstad had already started supper, so I packed a meal for us. I hope you like buttermilk biscuits and fried chicken.”
“I would love anything as long as I’m with you.” He laid his hand to her face, holding back his worries and fighting the growing need to lay her over that table and love her. Just love her. “I want us to wait. I want your father’s permission.”
“Wait to make love? I can’t.” Her eyes twinkled. “I’ve dreamed of nothing else all night and all day. I want to share supper with you at your table, and then I want you to take me to your bed, Night Hawk. Love me as if I were your wife.”
Her words stirred tempting and forbidden images to life in his mind. Desire raged as he pulled her against him. She came willingly, molding like heaven against his thighs and chest. Her moan became a kiss.
“Please, Night Hawk.” Her lips teased his as she spoke. “Make love to me now.”
“We will wait.” He was resolute even as his blood thickened.
Her fingers played over the fabric of his trousers, teasing his straining shaft. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me. To feel my entire being enfolding you.”
Longing, lust, love and forever warred within him. “You undo me, Marie.”
“I haven’t even started.” She twisted away, but the devil flashed in her eyes as she finished setting out the meal. “Hungry?”
“Not for food.” He laughed. He couldn’t help it. The woman was trying to seduce him.
Just how long would his iron will last?
Marie moaned as he withdrew from her, separating their bodies, and she wanted to pull him back. “Now admit it. This is a better dessert than Mrs. Olstad’s cranberry cake.”
“Fine. You win.” He stretched out on his side and caressed her breasts with his hand. “You make me weak. I don’t know what to do about that.”
“You don’t seem weak to me.” She let her fingers creep down his abdomen. He felt warm like new gold and solid like a fortress wall. “You seem pretty hard. You’re going to be uncomfortable sitting at the table like that. Maybe there’s something I can do to alleviate your condition.”
His breath became a hiss when she curled her hands around him. She loved this part of him that brought her so much pleasure. He was velvet steel and pulsed against her palm.
“You tempt me too much.” He caught her by the wrists and kissed her knuckles tenderly. “I meant what I said. We should wait.”
“We’ve been successful at waiting.” She laughed
when he pulled her on top and she straddled him. “You and I both know that love like this is too precious to waste. I don’t want to miss a moment with you.”
Her words touched him and he couldn’t argue. Helpless to resist, he grasped her hips to guide her over his shaft. A smile touched her lips as her head tipped and her back arched, accepting him into her tight heat. Into the greatest intimacy.
You must tell him tonight. Night Hawk’s request echoed like an overactive conscience in her mind as she padded through the dark parlor to the room Henry used as an office while he was at home. A swath of candlelight from the partly opened doorway guided her through the unfamiliar room.
And toward probable disaster. No, not disaster. She believed in Henry with all her heart. In his goodness. In the part of him she’d seen earlier when he’d said he loved her. That man would understand.
And then she could begin planning a wedding with Night Hawk!
Excitement skidded through her like a giant shooting star. She hadn’t even thought that far, but with Henry’s permission, she could become Night Hawk’s bride.
A whole new world spread out before her in the eye of her imagination. Living with Night Hawk on his land. Keeping his house, cooking his meals and looking out through the many windows of his beautiful log cabin to watch him work with his horses. To think how wonderful it would be having the right to sleep in his bed and love him late into the night. To wake each morning in his arms, happy and at peace.
She could feel the change loving him had made in her body. She was more aware. More alive. She could still taste the tangy wildness of his kiss on her lips and feel the wetness of his seed within her. Children, there would be children one day. The thought of little boys with Night Hawk’s smile and little girls with his dark eyes filled her with such joy.
“Marie.” Henry’s no-nonsense voice sliced through her reverie. “Is that you standing out there in the dark?”
“Yes, sir.” She pushed open the door.
“Mrs. Olstad told me you were out berry picking this evening.” Henry’s face clouded.
She had not told the housekeeper that’s what she was doing. Maybe the woman assumed. “Actually, I—”
“There’s been trouble at the Meyers claim.” He looked up from his newspaper, probably arrived on the last stage. “I don’t want you straying from the settlement, you hear?”
“What kind of trouble?” Marie skirted the heat from the fire blazing in the stone hearth.
“It could be nothing. Every now and then a wild animal gets too close and decides to feast on a rancher’s hen.” He turned the page, newsprint rattling harshly as he frowned. “Sometimes it’s more serious. We won’t know if it’s a problem until it happens again. Then we need to decide if it’s a thief or a predator.”
“I’ll be careful.” She took a shaky breath. Henry didn’t look as approachable now as he had for that brief moment in his office. “There was something I tried to tell you earlier—”
“About your decision. I know.” Papa actually tossed aside his paper, rose from his favorite chair and embraced her. “I’m so pleased with you, Marie. I’ve never been more proud of you.”
Her mind reeled, her senses spinning. Before she could move past the shock of feeling her father’s arms banding her and smelling the cigar smoke on his shirt, he stepped away, beaming from ear to ear like a brand-new, first-time papa.
Something wasn’t right. What had happened since the last time she’d seen him?
“You’ve made me a very happy man.” Papa simply glowed. His sadness had ebbed away and he looked younger, stronger, like a man with hope. “I’ve taken the liberty of inviting Ned to accompany us to the chapel services this Sunday. If you’re going to make me a grandfather one day soon, then you’ll have to start letting the major court you.”
“Oh, Papa.” Realization slammed into her with the force of a runaway horse. “I didn’t mean that I wanted Ned. I’ve already chosen—”
“Ned Gerard is a wise choice. Family name, old money and he graduated fourth in his class at West Point. Imagine that.” Henry’s chest puffed up with happiness. “Now that’s the kind of father my grandson needs.”
“Papa!”
“I love you so very much, daughter mine.” Unbelievably, he smiled again. A smile from the father she’d longed for all her life.
Had he really called her precious? How did she break his heart? She tried, she honestly tried to find the words. But they didn’t come.
What did she do now?
Chapter Ten
“You didn’t tell him?” Night Hawk’s anger boomed like thunder across the lake. “You promised me.”
Marie couldn’t deny it. The cool wind buffeted her wide bonnet brim and the ribbons cut into her chin. She tugged at the knot to loosen it. It gave her something to do beside look at the disappointment on her lover’s face.
Disappointment in her. She lifted the hat from her head and wedged it against the side of the canoe where the wind couldn’t catch it. How did she explain?
Night Hawk rowed harder, turning the dugout around and taking them back toward shore. He didn’t speak but the rigid set of his jaw said everything.
Beneath his silent anger lurked pain. She’d hurt him.
“Night Hawk.” She laid her hand on his arm but he kept rowing with great force, sending them gliding across the smooth waters where mist rose beneath a late autumn sky. “It’s not what you think. I’m not ashamed of loving you.”
“You will not tell your father,” he bit out between teeth tightly clenched. “I have asked you repeatedly, yet you refuse.”
“I’m simply trying to find the right words. You understand, don’t you? I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“I’ve behaved dishonorably toward you.” Agony twisted his stony features. “I cannot disgrace my family’s name in such a way. I had a father, too.”
Marie felt even more ashamed. In Night Hawk’s culture, family must be very important. She hadn’t thought about it, because he lived alone.
“I don’t want to dishonor your family.” She had to make him understand. “I want time, that’s all.”
“This is how it was for my people. A father chose a bride for his son.” Night Hawk stopped rowing, and the canoe glided along the water. He laid the paddle across his powerful thighs and stared toward the hills far behind his house.
“Don’t misunderstand.” Whatever he’d been thinking drew sadness onto his face. “A son had a choice. He would tell his father, that is the girl I want. And if she were suitable his father would speak to the young woman’s parents. Still, a father controlled who his child married when the time came.”
“My father doesn’t control me—”
“That is not my point.” He slipped the paddle into the water once more, allowing the slap-slap of the tide against the boat to carry them. “My father would never have allowed me to marry you. Your father feels the same way. That is why you can’t tell him the truth.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“The truth, Marie.”
She couldn’t breathe past the sharp pain lashing through her. She felt as if a part of her was on the verge of shattering. Maybe it was the girl within her so hungry for her father’s affection. Maybe it was the woman in her who felt she must choose. That she had to choose.
“Fine,” she admitted, saying the awful truth she didn’t want to admit. “He isn’t going to want me to marry you. He thinks—” She saw Night Hawk’s face sadden even more. “He thinks I’ve accepted his idea to let Major Gerard court me.”
“Fine.” Night Hawk’s paddle groaned as he rowed so hard that tendons strained in his neck. “Is that what you want?”
“You know it’s not. Night Hawk, slow down and listen. I talked with Ned —”
“Ned?” Jealousy blinded him and, with a roar, he jammed the paddle deep in the water, driving them forward.
“I told him right away how wrong my father was. To use both of us like that.” Marie d
idn’t look ashamed. She looked determined and caring. Like a woman doing her best to make things right. “I came here to teach at this settlement so that I could be with my father. I want to mend the heartache of our pasts. I’ve been given this chance to make things right with my father and I can’t pass it by. Please understand.”
“You cannot have a relationship with your father if it is based on a lie. If he believes something that is false and loves you for it.”
“I won’t lie. I just want to find a loving way to tell him the truth. In a way he can accept and celebrate. Instead of feeling as if he’s failed me as a father and I’ve failed him as a daughter.”
“I cannot bear this.” Pain thundered in his chest. Desire pulsed through every inch of him. The way she was looking at him, as if she had everything to lose, hurt in a way that made him want to leap from the canoe and swim in the icy water until he grew too numb to feel.
“This isn’t about my not wanting you.” She came to him, rocking the dugout, and knelt between his thighs. He was hard when her hand found him through his trousers. “I’m already yours. You made me yours in the meadow not far from here. Remember?”
How could he forget? He craved her like the air he breathed. He gritted his teeth, determined not to give in to the pleasure flaming beneath her playful fingers. “My vow remains. I won’t make love with you again until I have the right.”
“What do you mean?” Her hand stilled. “You’re still angry?”
He rowed the canoe onto the sloping shore and stowed the paddle on the floor behind him. “Out. Here, give me your hand.”
“I can manage.” She didn’t touch him as she grabbed her skirts and stepped onto the beach. “What about the fish we were going to catch?”
“I can’t be alone with you.” He snatched her bonnet from the floor and handed it to her.
“We’re alone right now.”
“Yes, and you know what we both want.”
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Night Hawk. We’ve done nothing wrong.” She took the hat from him, looking so vulnerable with her eyes wide and her face slightly pale. It was a silent plea he could not ignore. He stepped out of the dugout.