“We have your word that will be enough to take away any risk to you?” Raphael asked skeptically.
“As long as no vampire goes overboard, absolutely.” She couldn’t make any promises if one of them took too much, something she assumed would be easy to do despite the vampires’ control last night.
Seeming relieved, Christian rubbed his hands together. “Give me a list of what snacks you’d like us to have for you here, and I’ll get them for next week.” Pride shone in his eyes. “No one will take too much—we all care too much about Jen, Bradley and Lena to endanger them like that.”
He had a point, and suddenly another occurred to her. Something about having Raphael, Mary and Christian here wasn’t right.
“Where’s Cael?” It was unlike him to leave her somewhere after she’d passed out. In fact, usually he was prowling around somewhere nearby, ready to lecture her about misusing her abilities.
At the moment, she half-expected him to emerge from a nearby shadow.
“That’s why Mary’s here.” Raphael shifted uncomfortably, but the look he gave his wife spoke legions.
Obviously, he expected her to take the lead here.
Mary smiled wryly. “It seems these men here believe a woman should discuss this with you, which is fine by me.” She shook her head, and her smile twisted slightly, as if she thought a frown would be more appropriate.
What was she talking about?
“Cael and Emmanuel fought last night, after you conked out,” Mary continued. “From what they told me, Cael had every intention of ripping Emmanuel to shreds, so the kelpie decided to drown him before he could.” Now her smile dimmed. “It worked; although, he only suffocated Cael enough to render him unconscious.”
Rage swelled in Aiyanna. She’d trusted Emmanuel! How could he hurt Cael?
Reason, a much smaller voice, told her he was only defending himself. If Cael really did intend to hurt him, what else could she expect from him? Of course he’d used his powers; it was probably the only reason Cael hadn’t torn him apart.
If Cael had his powers back, he would have regardless.
The question was, why was Cael determined to hurt Emmanuel? When she asked Raphael and Christian, she was surprised when the latter answered.
“I think you know why,” he said, not unkindly.
She did, even though it still made no sense to her. Cael was overprotective of her, and she could see Emmanuel trying to act in her best interest as well. But the idea of them fighting over her was ludicrous. One of them barely knew her and acted only as a friend would, while the other could feel strongly for her. Only he’d never gone beyond the duty of a close friend either.
“Men can be so stupid,” she muttered.
Raphael, looking even larger than usual as he stood next to where she sat—he was the biggest man in the pack—put his hand on her shoulder. “I know,” he said solemnly. “That’s why I brought Mary over.”
Aiyanna laughed. “Wise man. So where is Cael? Has he recovered yet?”
Nodding, Raphael moved to press a kiss to the top of Mary’s head. “Heath came and got him before bringing Mary over. Briony and Sebastian tended to him while I stayed here.”
“You didn’t know where I’d want to go.” Aiyanna realized Raphael had tried to be considerate of her wishes—without knowing what they were. He paid attention to the details of the pack, trying to take care of everyone.
Even those who, like her, weren’t really packmates.
Mary smiled sympathetically, but there was something else in her expression, something Aiyanna couldn’t quite read. “Raphael, Christian, could you give us a minute?”
Both men left. Christian murmured quietly to Raphael about finally getting some rest, his words bringing a pang of guilt. As long as she or anyone else from the pack was here, at least one of the vampires would be kept from sleep.
Mary’s quiet, serious voice pulled her from her thoughts. “You have a comfortable home, a room you’re welcome to at the firehouse, and Emmanuel has made it clear to us that you’re welcome to stay with him as long as you want.” Her features darkened, but she closed her eyes for a moment, the pain draining from her expression. “Do you understand how lucky you are?” she asked in a quiet voice. “This time last year, I would have done anything for the love, support, and safety you have.”
Aiyanna could imagine. Last Mardi Gras, Mary would have still been living with her previous employer, who ended up being a creature capable of mind control, a power he’d used to kidnap women across the city. He’d made Mary miserable for months before trying to kill her—that was when Aiyanna first met her. Cael had brought her to heal the banshee, who at the time didn’t even know what she was.
Then, Mary hadn’t had a place to go, not like Aiyanna did now.
Mary was right. She was lucky to have so many people care about her, and she’d be wrong to distance herself from the pack like she’d planned to after her fight with Cael. Even if she wanted to, she suspected they wouldn’t let her stay away.
“But Cael,” Aiyanna murmured, sinking her head into her hands. “I’m only harming him, making his life more difficult.” She didn’t add, while he harms himself, but reasoned Mary knew about his self-destructive tendencies, especially when it came to his powers. Raphael wasn’t the type to keep any secrets from his mate.
This brought back Mary’s usual cheerful disposition, draining the shadows from around her eyes. “Maybe you should ask him about that before making decisions for him.” She smiled. “That’s what got him in trouble last night, you know—making decisions about healing for you.”
The irony. “Can I bum a ride from you and Raphael back to the firehouse?” She needed to speak with Cael, to hopefully end this cycle of them speaking for one another.
“Of course. Raphael!” Mary barely raised her voice, but Raphael would have heard it anywhere in the house unless the vampires’ furnishings had acoustics Aiyanna wasn’t aware of.
They didn’t. Raphael came back into the kitchen along with Porter, who eyed all of them with more wariness than Christian had.
“Ready to go?” Mary asked, ignoring Porter’s openly distrusting stare.
Soon she sat in the back of Raphael’s car, with the Alpha couple in front of her, happily discussing the day’s parades and debating whether they would attend the one that night. Unlike those held during the day—a glance at her watch told her one called Iris would start soon—Endymion was held in Mid-City rather than down St. Charles Avenue.
“Would you like to come with us?” Mary turned around to face her, beaming with excitement.
“Maybe I’ll meet you.” After I talk to Cael. She hoped he would go with her—he loved Tucks, the parade that would follow Iris.
Back at the firehouse, unease settled over Aiyanna. She lifted her chin. I can handle this. She was here for Cael, the man she was so drawn to, the only man who made her want to punch through a wall. Having a conversation with him wasn’t always easy, but she refused to be cowed by her own insecurities.
He was waiting for her, leaning against the pole by the front door, his expression inscrutable.
Raphael and Mary were suddenly nowhere to be found; although, Aiyanna was certain that wherever they were, Mary was smiling.
Cael jerked his head toward the stairs. “Come to my room?”
Having expected to talk with him somewhere more…public …Aiyanna could only nod numbly. They took the stairs in silence, but Cael kept looking back at her over his shoulder, as if he were worried she’d turn and run in the opposite direction.
He was wrong.
“Look, I—” she started to speak, but was cut off by Cael’s impatient growl.
“No. Let me go first.”
She frowned but acquiesced, shutting her mouth with a snap.
Cael had to know his interruption irked her, because his face softened slightly. “I thought you’d want to hear this before you said anything else.” He
took a long breath. “You deserve to know—I’ve decided to accept my freedom from the Elders. You were right. Keeping my powers limited won’t help us against the warlocks.”
He went on to tell her about his confrontation with two men—brothers to the woman he killed so long ago.
Cael did this for me. She had no doubt about it because he told her as much. Tears burned her eyes, completely different from those she’d shed the night before last. Hope, joy, filled her, knowing this man would do something so monumental for her.
It must have been so hard for him, to not only look in the faces of those who condemned him—rightfully, she had to admit—but to ask them for his freedom. He’d done the right thing. If she weren’t so happy, she would have kicked herself for not thinking of Ava’s family when she’d pressured him to take his powers back. Of course he would include them in his decision. He didn’t want to cause those men any more pain, something she should have thought of herself.
When she’d wondered about the reasons for his decision, she hadn’t considered they might be honorable, and respecting those men’s wishes was exactly that. I was rash.
She’d never been so glad to underestimate his character.
Excitement coursed through her, giving her more hope than she’d ever had for the man she’d wanted for so long.
It made her stupid, but she couldn’t stop it. One moment, she took in the gravity of what he told her.
The next second she moved so quickly, not even he could have prepared himself for her. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to hers, meeting him halfway for a kiss that took her breath away.
For an amount of time she couldn’t determine, he fell into the kiss as much as she did. He growled into her mouth, sweeping his tongue against hers and claiming her with the heat of his lips. His hands found her back, pushed her closer into him.
She felt marked.
There was nothing gentle about his movements. He was hard underneath her palms, and later reflection told her the force of their kiss would have hurt a human. But she was part-panther, and she could give more than she was currently taking.
It was when the shock of her own actions wore off that she understood how different this was from any other kiss she’d ever had. They weren’t two people whose mouths met simply because they found one another attractive.
They also weren’t two people who were in love.
No, they were two creatures who needed this, who needed each other like those vampires needed the blood they took last night.
When this revelation hit her, something else hit Cael. He roughly pushed her away, but no so hard it hurt her.
“We can’t.”
Anger replaced the joy he’d brought her. How dare he give her a taste of what they could have, only to push her away? It took effort for her not to change into her panther form and take a swipe at him.
Panthers had sharper claws than werewolves.
“We just did.” For the first time, they had finally kissed. It was a moment she’d dreamed of for so long, a moment she’d imagined in so many different scenarios, she almost laughed hysterically. “And we can do it again. Neither of us spontaneously combusted. We weren’t struck by lightning. Why couldn’t we do it again?”
Cael clenched his fists. Whether it was to prevent himself from punching something or from grabbing her, she wasn’t sure. “Because it will lead to more,” he said in a low voice. “You know what could happen. You can’t put me in this position. Don’t bring me so close to hurting you.”
“You weren’t even close to hurting me! Quite the opposite.”
Heat flared in his eyes while she spoke, as if he recalled the way he’d felt. There had been nothing but pleasure and need, not even the ghost of a dead woman to come between them.
Until Cael let her.
Aiyanna knew he wouldn’t touch her again, not today. His regret was tangible, a shroud around him, separating them. Part of her wanted to storm out of the firehouse again, shouting profanities at Cael as she went. Another part of her wanted to kiss him again, melding their bodies together whether he approved of their actions or not.
Instead, she reached out and squeezed his hand.
“Thank you,” she said, hoping anger and disappointment didn’t show in her voice. He had done so much for her by contacting those brothers, and even by going to that feeding last night. She had to look past her sexual frustration—which was very difficult—and treat him like someone who cared about her, who truly wanted to care for her.
Not that she needed him to, but she appreciated the thought. Even by keeping himself from giving into the lust that had overwhelmed them both, he believed he was protecting her.
Cael said nothing. His expression was still filled with both wariness and remorse.
“I’m going to go meet Mary and Raphael for a couple of parades. Want to come?”
She expected him to say no, if only to get away from her. He kept their hands linked and nodded, the troubled look in his eye not fading, but a small smile curving his full, slightly darkened lips.
“Let’s go.”
Chapter 8
AFTER what very well could have been the best moment of Cael’s life, he found himself clutching two Bloody Marys with Aiyanna strutting ahead of him, her curved hips swaying as she walked farther uptown near the spot where Raphael and Mary stood.
He didn’t drink as a general rule, but after the last twenty-four hours, he’d ordered himself a double at the small corner store selling a variety of mixed drinks. Aiyanna had insisted they stop, claiming neither of them should be sober for a parade where decorated plungers would be thrown at them.
From the junk his packmates, namely Alexandre, had brought back to the firehouse in years past, he knew she wasn’t exaggerating about airborne plastic plungers during Tucks. He hadn’t ever been to the parade. Usually he’d used his time during Mardi Gras to run errands around the Warehouse District and the Quarter while traffic wasn’t so bad and tourists congregated in another part of town.
In accepting Aiyanna’s offer to see the parade, he’d surprised himself. He needed to gain a clear head, and preferably forget about their kiss. But oh, that kiss. He hadn’t kissed any woman since Ava. It had been so long he’d forgotten why people made such a big deal about the small, innocuous act.
Well, it could be innocuous. Between him and Aiyanna, he knew there was an expectation for more, for sex so good the pleasure would undo them both.
It couldn’t happen. When Aiyanna’s breath caught in her throat, panic had seized him. I can’t let this go any further. He’d forced himself away from her despite his instinctual pull toward her. Her labored breathing could have turned into an inability to breathe at all, one that would make it so she never drew breath again.
It was hard to kill an immortal that way. He still didn’t understand how it had taken Ava’s life, but it had. Her body, her sightless eyes, had been enough proof for him to see how dangerous he really was. Aiyanna wasn’t as strong as she made herself out to be. If he could kill Ava, he could kill her too.
Her dark hair whipped around her shoulders, glinting in the midday sun as she turned to face him. She wore oversized sunglasses that covered most of her face, but her lips were as visible as ever. He could smell the sweetness of whatever she’d put on to make them a shining red color. If I kiss her now, she’d taste like candy.
If anyone could give Cael a sweet tooth, it was her.
Obviously, his lapse in control had to be a one-time thing, but as he forcibly kept himself from hauling her to him in front of countless families, teenagers and college students, he had a feeling the tight rein he’d kept on his control hadn’t simply slipped, but melted away altogether.
He couldn’t deny it; he wanted more.
“They’re not far up.” She pointed up the road, where Cael caught a glimpse of Mary’s light hair on the same side of the street they were on.
“I see he
r.” Taking the lead, he stuck out his elbow for Aiyanna. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t comment when she looped her arm through his.
We don’t need to get separated. It was a lame excuse when he really just wanted a reason to touch her. They weren’t humans. They could track each other by scent if they lost one another in the crowd, and if that didn’t work, both of them had their cell phones handy. In fact, Aiyanna had been texting someone during much of the walk from his car to Mary and Raphael, angling the phone so he couldn’t see who she was talking to.
He’d almost asked, but Raphael’s words came back to him. “You’re not her mate; you’re not even her boyfriend.” His hands tensed, but he calmed himself down before he squeezed all of the liquid out of the thin plastic cups he held.
I have no right to pry.
It didn’t stop him from glancing down at her phone when she pulled it out for the umpteenth time, an amused smile appearing on her face. It was hard to see for the sun’s glare, but after looking for longer than he would have liked, he noted it was Sophia she was texting.
Before he looked away, another text appeared and quickly disappeared in a bar at the top of the screen. It was from Emmanuel.
He didn’t spill their Bloody Marys, but he did growl.
“Hey! I don’t read your texts,” she admonished, her eyebrows rising over her sunglasses. She didn’t sound angry at him again, Cael realized, relieved. If anything her smile grew, becoming mischievous.
“But if you keep reading mine, I’ll send you a picture of something you’ll never forget.” She looked down at her chest, currently covered in a red, plaid flannel shirt that had felt soft underneath his hands earlier. It caused him to wonder if her skin underneath the fabric was even softer. “Or two somethings,” she amended with a tinkling laugh.
Imagining her making good on that threat, he leaned down to whisper exactly what he would do if he had a picture like that…right as they reached Raphael and Mary. His words died on his lips, withering as Raphael watched him like he’d never seen him before. Cael knew he’d overheard their conversation.
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