by Clare Lydon
So that was the plan. Sleep it off, get up, drink tea. Tomorrow she’d drive her Beetle home. After kneeling in your own sick, the only way was up.
***
After Kat’s vocal vomiting, most breakfasts stood untouched for a few minutes – more so for Vic and Stevie, who’d gone to help their friend up to bed. They’d shut the door on the toilet, declaring it out of bounds to the group.
But then stomachs had rumbled and hunger had galloped past any lingering doubts.
Darren leant back in his chair and grinned round the table before picking up his knife and tapping it lightly on his black-and-white mug.
Chatter stopped, heads turned, the only sound being Stevie at the sink refilling the kettle.
“So.” Darren grasped the table with both hands. His chair scraped on the wooden floor as it shifted. “When I was in work very early on Saturday morning, I got to thinking about a beauty client we deal with in the South West.”
Expectant faces stared back at him.
“Turns out they have a spa place down the road, so I pulled a few strings and I’ve booked us all in for a treatment this afternoon at two – you can choose between a facial or a massage, up to you. No Easter eggs from us but a half-day pass to the local spa. Seems fitting I do something for everyone else today.”
This time, delighted faces.
“Have I ever told you that I love you and your freebies?” Geri rolled her shoulder, which made something in her back click audibly. A massage sounded about perfect right now.
“Will we be seeing TJ again?” Stevie flicked on the kettle and walked back to her seat.
Geri shook her head casually, trying to pull off casual with aplomb. “Nah – it was a one-time only thing.” Geri shrugged. “The Easter bunny can’t deliver everything you want it seems.”
“But it does deliver treatments, which sounds like a fine idea. Thanks, Darren.” Tash raised her mug in his direction. “You’ve gone from being my least favourite person here to possibly my absolute favourite after breakfast and now this. You can tell you work in PR – that’s brand management at its finest.”
“And that is a PR mind wasted!” Darren drank the last of his tea. “If you ever find selling houses too dreary, give me a call.”
There was a pause as the group assessed their coming day.
“You think Kat’s going to make it?” Stu asked.
“I doubt it. If I was her I’d want to sleep and forget the world today. But I’ll go and ask her in a bit, see how she is,” Geri said.
***
Chairs scraped back and the first act of the day was done, their scripts open-ended until act two began at 1.30pm.
Vic and Stevie disappeared up the stairs to get ready.
Darren and Stu went through to the lounge to read the Sunday papers.
This left Geri and Tash to ferry ketchup, plates, mugs and condiments back to their natural habitat. Laura had scarpered straight after breakfast.
Geri was in charge of dishwasher stacking, slotting plates, placing mugs at angles, wedging bowls into unseen gaps. She hated anything to do with the dishwasher, so she wore a frown the whole time.
“Everything okay with you two now?” Geri was struggling to prize a dishwashing tablet from its packaging. “It’s quite a shiner she’s got.”
Tension bubbled between them.
“I really didn’t belt her.” Tash caught Geri’s direct gaze.
Geri relented. “I know, I know. It’s just… a bit too obvious. I guess at least you didn’t tell us she walked into a door.” Geri tried a smile but Tash wasn’t budging.
“I’d hope I could come up with something better than that.” Tash leaned against the counter and sighed. “We nearly made up earlier, too. But then I said the wrong thing and we’re back to square one, perhaps even further down the road than I’d imagined.” She wrinkled her nose. “You know those days where you get up and would like to go back, erase it and start again?”
Geri slipped on her sympathetic face and nodded.
“Well, it’s one of those.”
Geri chuckled as Tash wiped down the side.
“If it helps any, been there, done that,” Geri said. “But you’ll be fine – you two are good together. And you know Laura when she gets in a funk – she needs time to get out of it. She’ll be fine after a shower and a massage.”
Tash sighed. “I know you’re right, but why does everything have to be such a drama?”
“It’s what lesbians do best.”
Trouble In Paradise
Upstairs, Kat heard the TV blaring, the dishwasher being stacked, the hum of chatter circling through the house. She was lying flat and naked again after a hot shower, her sick-stained clothes balled up in a carrier bag. The soft bed linen was caressing her skin, its lightness of touch appreciated today. Kat wished she was in her flat where she could convalesce – feeling this bad away from home was disconcerting, but she had nobody to blame but herself.
Her brain was casting around, trying to piece together scenes from last night, but all she could remember was eating the meal in the pub, drinking wine and then nothing. Blank. Darkness. Her right eye still felt like she’d been punched.
Kat picked up her phone again and squinted to read the text message that Abby had sent – short and sour.
‘Had to leave, last night was all too much for me. Hope you’ll be okay to drive the car back on Monday. I’ll come by to pick up my stuff next week.’
No kiss at the end of the message, no term of endearment, nothing. Just a statement of fact. She’d lost Abby, but there was no hot stab of regret. Rather, just an overwhelming sense that Abby had done the right thing. Why would she want to stick around a fuck-up like her? Kat was hardly catch of the day.
Her stomach rumbled but it would have to wait – Kat was in no mood to greet everyone’s pity-filled stares right now.
She heard the stairs being taken two-by-two and knew it was Geri – nobody else bounded up them like her. Kat often thought it was her police training: she couldn’t do anything half-heartedly, because in her mind she was always chasing the baddies. Kat knew what was coming next and, sure enough, there was a knock on her door.
“Kat?” Geri tapped again.
The gentle thuds hurt Kat’s senses. She moved the covers up over her head.
More knocking, more ignoring.
The door handle moved. Honestly, she just wanted some peace and quiet. Then her duvet was being lifted and pulled.
Kat held on.
“Kat – can I come in?” Bloody Geri.
“I think you already have.” Kat’s voice was muffled. She pulled the duvet down and fixed Geri with her best glare.
“Had to come and check you hadn’t vomited over your whole bedroom, too,” Geri said.
Kat gave her a rueful look and pulled the duvet back up. “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, you can leave, thanks.”
“Jokes!” Geri pulled the duvet again and held onto it so she could see her friend’s face. “Seriously – you need anything?”
Kat shook her head and stayed silent.
“I take it you don’t want to come out for a massage this afternoon?” Geri said. It was more a statement than a question.
Kat shook her head again. Her skin prickled. Today, a cocoon was called for.
“That’s what I thought.” Geri paused, looked around the room. “I think you got a better room than me, by the way.” She assessed the crisp patterned wallpaper, the massive mirror at the end of the bed. “Nice mirror, too – good for sex voyeurism.” Geri nodded towards it.
Kat felt bile rise in her throat.
Geri held up her hands in apology as she saw her friend turn green. She got up and began walking towards the door, before turning.
“Okay, I’m going to leave you in peace, no more talk of sex. But I shall return with vomit-friendly items – water, tea, toast – which you can do with what you will. And of course you
r Easter egg in case the chocolate mood takes you.” Geri winked. “Back in a tic.”
“Geri…” Kat began, muffled.
Geri turned back.
“I’ll clean up the loo in a bit, just leave it…” Kat said.
Geri waved her hand. “Tash is already on it and I’m going to help her. Just try to hit the toilet next time, okay?” Geri shut the door.
Kat sunk into the bed in agony, silent screams ravaging her brain, her body floating.
Name one thing she had to live for. Her mind was blank. Kat saw the void, she saw it regularly now. It was impassable, she had no idea how to get around it, over it, through it. Her therapist had tried to help, Abby tried to help, but she didn’t understand their language, didn’t speak in rhymes.
Kat swallowed and winced; the toothpaste hadn’t worked. She tasted her present and it tasted of failure, doom. She twisted her head left and looked at the alarm clock. 12.55pm. They should all be leaving soon.
Perhaps she could have a drink to take the edge off when they were gone. Her mind flailed as panic set in – did they have enough booze left? She didn’t remember.
Kat scraped her eyelids closed over her eyeballs. They were studded with razorblades.
***
“You look nice,” Tash said as Laura came back into their room. Laura was dressed in dark green jeans and a blue shirt that once fitted her perfectly but was now clinging slightly to her stomach. Tash knew better than to bring that up today.
“Thanks,” Laura said. Her tone was cut from granite. Must try harder. “You do, too.” Not quite an olive branch, but an olive seed at least.
“What you going for?” Tash’s words were stilted like they were the first she’d learned in a new language.
“Huh?” Laura looked distracted.
“Treatment – massage or facial?” Tash smoothed down her hair and looked over her shoulder at Laura, who was trying desperately not to frown.
“Well, I can hardly go for a facial today, can I?” Laura said.
Tash looked at her girlfriend’s bruised face and shook her head. “Good point.”
“We might get a couples massage, imagine that,” Laura said.
They stood looking at each other, searching for words, a clue to a routine they once knew. Both minds drew a blank, the only sound their laboured breathing.
Eventually, Laura broke the noisy silence. “I’ll see you downstairs then.” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder to give direction.
Tash nodded.
The Spa
“This looks fancy,” Vic said as her tyres rolled over finely colour-matched gravel.
Darren’s ‘spa place down the road’ turned out to be a five star, white-bricked stately home that oozed grandeur. The car park was studded with foliage and set within pristine gardens and, in the distance, a lake shimmered invitingly.
“I know, it’s gorgeous. Sometimes I think I might run off with Darren,” Stevie said, taking in the opulence. “Would you be upset?”
“Might put a dent in my day,” Vic said. “But I’d get over it.”
Stevie laughed and leaned across to kiss her.
“God, you two are sweet but nauseating at the same time.” Geri was sat in the back seat, where she’d taken the opportunity to check her emails during the drive. “Good job it’s only me in here and not Kat – she might just have vomited all over your shiny interior.”
“I wouldn’t have allowed Kat inside the car today,” Vic said. She unclipped her seatbelt and it whizzed past her earlobe.
***
Moments later, Laura and Tash’s silver Renault pulled up beside them. In the passenger seat, Tash’s face was the colour of sludge.
Stu and Darren had their faces at the window as if they were the family pets. As soon as Laura cut the engine, they hopped out of the back, gasping for air.
“Is this ace or what?” Darren grinned broadly at his handiwork. It was as if he’d got up that very morning and built the place from scratch.
“Stevie’s already threatened to run off with you, just to warn you,” Vic told him. She dug her hands into her jacket pockets.
Darren put an arm around Stevie. “You can run off with me anytime, darling. So long as you bring one of those fake cocks you lesbians are so fond of. I can’t cope without one.”
Stevie rolled her eyes and poked Darren in the ribs.
Darren let out an almighty squeal.
“Can we try to behave?” Stu’s voice rose as Tash and Laura got out of the car and joined the group.
“Yes miss,” Stevie told him as they made their way across the car park to the main hotel.
Inside, the grandeur continued with sweeping archways, intricate stone staircases and open fires. Several staff smiled their hellos and they were directed down a long, regally carpeted corridor towards the spa to get changed into their white robes. Everybody had plumped for the massage and it was agreed that they’d regroup in the relaxation room afterwards.
“Now remember, nobody’s allowed to run off with their masseur – not unless he or she is really good-looking,” Darren said as they signed in.
“I might do if you don’t shut up,” said Stu. “I thought I took your Duracell battery out this morning.”
“It’s all that chocolate,” Darren replied, showing off his Colgate smile. “I’m fucking wired!”
“See you on the other side, ladies,” Stu said.
***
The changing rooms were impressively huge with acres of wooden pegs, flowers, fresh fruit and cubicles dotted about for the more modest. Banks of hair dryers with theatre-lit mirrors lay ahead, along with gallons of complimentary moisturiser and lotions.
“This is what I’d like our bathroom to be like when it gets redone,” Tash said.
“Sure. And I’ll get you a slice of the moon while I’m buying it,” Laura replied.
“Anybody going for privacy or are we going for a full-on show?” Vic hung her jacket on a peg and sat on the wooden bench below to take off her trainers.
“Nothing any of us haven’t seen before, so let’s do it,” Tash said.
Geri sat down on the bench and bent to undo her trainers, feeling an ache in her groin still from this morning – she’d no idea what muscle TJ had brought to life but she wasn’t complaining. Geri smiled as the fresh memories landed in front of her eyes.
Stevie broke the spell with a nudge to her elbow. “Hey – isn’t that TJ?”
Geri’s gaze followed the line of Stevie’s outstretched arm. She blinked and did a double-take, her mind saying the woman putting on her jeans at the far end of the changing rooms couldn’t possibly be TJ – but it looked a heck of a lot like her. Just then, the woman bent over and Geri saw the tell-tale tattoo she’d kissed only that morning. What were the chances?
“I think it is.” Geri gazed in TJ’s direction. Perhaps this was a sign.
Stevie nudged her again. “You gonna go and say hi?”
The question hung in the air blinking and Geri wasn’t sure what the right answer was. TJ had made it abundantly clear their liaison was a one-night thing, their parting final. And no matter how much Geri would like the situation to be different, playing it cool seemed the right option. Even though every sinew of her body wanted to go up and kiss that tattoo just one more time.
“I don’t think so.” Geri gave Stevie a wry smile.
But Stevie wasn’t buying it. “Come on!” Stevie got up and dragged Geri by the arm. “Let’s just go and say hi. I’m not suggesting you propose.”
Geri didn’t put up much of a fight – she knew it was Stevie’s mission to find true love for all. As they advanced down the changing room, Geri checked her hair in one of the many mirrors and tried to ignore the red flags her mind was waving.
Stevie had pushed Geri into matador mode.
“Hey TJ,” Geri heard Stevie say, alarmed at how easy the words slipped out of her mouth. Geri had been wondering what her open
ing salvo should be, but her mouth had dried up at the thought. Stevie had saved her the trouble. Geri’s heart was in her throat, every sense on high alert.
TJ spun round, jeans fastened but topless. Her jaw dropped so fast when she saw the two of them that Geri swore she heard it hit the floor and bounce down the changing room, quickly followed by TJ’s bravado.
Something wasn’t right. Soon enough, Geri discovered what.
A tall brunette walked across Geri’s path and up to TJ before putting a hand on her back and whispering something into her ear.
TJ laughed in response and kissed her cheek.
Then TJ’s eyes met Geri’s again over this woman’s shoulder.
Geri looked into them and saw a world of panic.
Time slowed, the rest of the changing room faded out and the camera panned round to a different angle of this meeting. This time though, it was Geri who held all the power. However, now she had the upper hand, Geri was less than sure she wanted it. Goddamn it, why hadn’t she just stayed sitting down?
And then the tall brunette turned and addressed Stevie. “Hey! How are you – having a good weekend?”
Geri looked at Stevie, confused. This woman knew Stevie? Geri could see panic flooding Stevie’s eyes now too, although the smile on her face didn’t betray it.
“Hi Grace – yeah really good thanks, the house is amazing. We just came over to say hi to TJ after we met in the pub last night – this is my friend Geri,” Stevie continued, as if this was the most natural conversation in the world.
Grace shook Geri’s hand warmly.
Geri’s blood stilled in her veins.
“Grace owns the house,” Stevie explained to Geri, nodding to confirm the point a little too much.
Grace gave Geri a full-on smile, before bending down to retrieve her make-up bag from the bench.
TJ took the opportunity to slip on a red T-shirt hanging on a hook in front of her, not stopping to put on her bra first. Clearly, nakedness was something she’d rather not introduce to this increasingly delicate situation.